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Funny Publicity Quotes
Funny Quotes about Publicity

Let these funny Publicity Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

What kills a skunk is the publicity it gives itself.
- Abraham Lincoln

There is no such thing as public opinion.
There is only published opinion.
- Winston Churchill

Nobody ever went broke underestimating the taste of the American public.
- H. L. Mencken

For me every ruler is alien that defies public opinion.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi


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Imagine for yourself a character,
a model personality whose example you determine to follow,
in private as well as in public.
- Epictetus

No one ever found wisdom without also being a fool.
Writers, alas, have to be fools in public,
while the rest of the human race can cover its tracks.
- Erica Jong

The time comes upon every public man
when it is best for him to keep his lips closed.
- Abraham Lincoln


 

Myths are public dreams, dreams are private myths.
- Joseph Campbell

He who molds the public sentiment...
makes statutes and decisions possible or impossible to make.
- Abraham Lincoln

God is, even though the whole world deny him.
Truth stands, even if there be no public support.
It is self-sustained.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

You cannot divorce religious belief and public service.
I've never detected any conflict between
God's will and my political duty.
If you violate one, you violate the other.
- Jimmy Carter

Public sentiment is everything.
With public sentiment, nothing can fail.
Without it, nothing can succeed.
- Abraham Lincoln

When a man assumes a public trust
he should consider himself a public property.
- Thomas Jefferson

Truth stands, even if there be no public support.
It is self-sustained.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

The price of apathy towards public affairs
is to be ruled by evil men.
- Plato

A nation which has forgotten the quality of courage
which in the past has been brought to public life
is not as likely to insist upon or regard
that quality in its chosen leaders today -
and in fact we have forgotten.
- John F. Kennedy

One should respect public opinion insofar
as is necessary to avoid starvation and keep out of prison,
but anything that goes beyond this
is voluntary submission to an unnecessary tyranny.
- Bertrand Russell

The Four Stages of Public Opinion
I (Just after publication): The novelty is absurd
and subversive of Religion and Morality.
The propounder both fool and knave.
II (Twenty years later): The Novelty is absolute Truth
and will yield a full and satisfactory
explanation of things in general -
The propounder a man of sublime genius and perfect virtue.
III (Forty years later): The Novelty won't explain
things in general after all, and therefore is a wretched failure.
The propounder a very ordinary person advertised by a clique.
IV (A century later): The Novelty a mixture of truth and error.
Explains as much as could reasonably be expected.
The propounder worthy of all honor
in spite of his share of human frailties,
as one who has added to the permanent possessions of science.
- Thomas Henry [T. H.] Huxley

Be careful not to do your good deeds
when there's no one watching you.
- Tom Lehrer

No matter how much cats fight,
there always seem to be plenty of kittens.
- Abraham Lincoln

One cannot have everything the way he would like it.
A man has no business to be depressed by a disappointment,
anyway; he ought to make up his mind to get even.
- Mark Twain

Marriage has no guarantees.
If that's what you're looking for,
go live with a car battery.
- Erma Bombeck

And you just gotta remember, Sparky -
no matter what they tell you - you can NEVER have too much sugar.
- the movie Michael (1996)

Fat, drunk, and stupid is no way to go through life, son.
- the movie National Lampoon's Animal House (1978)

When I eventually met Mr. Right
I had no idea that his first name was Always.
- Rita Rudner

No one knows what's next, but everybody does it.
- George Carlin

A man's friendships are, like his will,
invalidated by marriage -
but they are also no less invalidated
by the marriage of his friends.
- Samuel Butler

Oh no, I can't do anything to the death.
Doctor's orders. You see, I have this ulcer condition,
and death is the worst thing for it.
- the movie Love and Death

No one can have a higher opinion of you than I have,
and I think you're a slimy, contemptible sewer rat!
- the movie The Great Mouse Detective

I have no fear of the gallows ... They're going to shoot me.
- the movie Love and Death

Mr. President, I'm not saying we wouldn't get our hair mussed.
But I do say no more than ten to twenty million killed, tops.
Uh, depending on the breaks.
- the movie Dr. Strangelove

A honeymoon should be like a table:
four bare legs and no drawers.
- Anonymous

There's no reason to become alarmed,
and we hope you'll enjoy the rest of your flight.
By the way, is there anyone on board who knows how to fly a plane?
- the movie Airplane!

No man is truly married until he understands
every word his wife is NOT saying.
- Anonymous

Television has a real problem. They have no page two.
- Art Buchwald

Early in life I had to choose between honest arrogance
and hypocritical humility.
I chose the former and have seen no reason to change.
- Frank Lloyd Wright

Computers are like Old Testament gods;
lots of rules and no mercy.
- Joseph Campbell

There is no sadder sight than a young pessimist.
- Mark Twain

You have no values. With you its all nihilism,
cynicism, sarcasm, and orgasm.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry

As soon as someone is identified as an unsung hero,
he no longer is.
- George Carlin

If at first you don't succeed,
try, try, and try again.
Then give up.
There's no use being a damned fool about it.
- W. C. Fields

Random chance seems to have operated in our favor ...
there was no deity involved.
- Spock character in the Star Trek television series

He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.
- Oscar Wilde

Against logic there is no armor like ignorance.
- Laurence J. Peter

He who loves 50 people has 50 woes;
he who loves no one has no woes.
- The Buddha

Experience keeps a dear school,
but fools will learn in no other.
- Benjamin Franklin

There is no use whatsoever trying to help
people who do not help themselves.
You cannot push anyone up a ladder
unless he is willing to climb himself.
- Andrew Carnegie

Some people are so heavenly minded
that they are no earthly good.
- Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.

The fear of death is the most unjustified of all fears,
for there's no risk of accident for someone who's dead.
- Albert Einstein

Some things will never seem adequate
no matter how hard we try.
- from the movie White Man's Burden

I once had a rose named after me
and I was very flattered.
But I was not pleased to read
the description in the catalogue:
no good in a bed, but fine up against a wall.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

It's not the men in your life that counts,
it's the life in your men.
- Mae West, in the movie I'm No Angel

Science may have found a cure for most evils;
but it has found no remedy for the worst of them all -
the apathy of human beings.
- Helen Keller

There is no pleasure in having nothing to do;
the fun is in having lots to do and not doing it.
- Mary Wilson Little

Faced with the choice between changing one's mind
and proving that there is no need to do so,
almost everyone gets busy on the proof.
- John Kenneth Galbraith

The way to silence religious disputes is to take no notice of them.
- Thomas Jefferson

No problem is so formidable that
you can't walk away from it.
- Charles M. Schulz' cartoon Peanuts

The most difficult phase of life
is not when no one understands you,
it is when you don't understand yourself.
- Anonymous

A clever man commits no minor blunders.
- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Clothes make the man.
Naked people have little or no influence on society.
- Mark Twain

In theory there is no difference between theory and practice.
In practice there is.
- Yogi Berra

When all think alike, no one is thinking very much.
- Walter Lippmann

The universe we observe has precisely
the properties we should expect
if there is, at bottom, no design,
no purpose, no evil, no good,
nothing but blind, pitiless indifference.
- Charles Darwin

An excellent man;
he has no enemies;
and none of his friends like him.
- Oscar Wilde

It has been my experience that folks who
have no vices, have very few virtues.
- Abraham Lincoln

I find that principles have no real force
except when one is well fed.
- Mark Twain

I begin with the principle that all men are bores.
Surely no one will prove himself
so great a bore as to contradict me in this.
- Soren Kierkegaard

Do not bite at the bait of pleasure,
till you know there is no hook beneath it.
- Thomas Jefferson

It is the things for which there is no evidence
that are believed with passion.
- Bertrand Russell

The worst government is often the most moral.
One composed of cynics is often very tolerant and humane.
But when fanatics are on top there is no limit to oppression.
- H. L. Mencken

I am no longer young enough to know everything.
- Oscar Wilde


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


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