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Funny Progressive Quotes
Funny Quotes about Progressive

Let these funny Progressive Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

Measures must always, in a progressive society,
be held superior to men, who are after all,
imperfect instruments, working for their fulfillment.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

A man is a method, a progressive arrangement; a selecting principle,
gathering his like to him; wherever he goes.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

You can't stop the music, nobody can stop the music.
- Village People PHOTO

Technological progress is like an axe
in the hands of a pathological criminal.
- Albert Einstein


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He who rejects change is the architect of decay.
- Harold Wilson

Honest disagreement is often a good sign of progress.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Social progress can be measured
by the social position of the female sex.
- Karl Marx
(German philosopher and political economist
whose ideas are credited as the foundation of modern communism)


 

Coming together is a beginning;
keeping together is progress;
working together is success.
- Henry Ford

Human progress is neither automatic nor inevitable...
Every step toward the goal of justice
requires sacrifice, suffering, and struggle;
the tireless exertions and
passionate concern of dedicated individuals.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

All progress is precarious, and the solution
of one problem brings us face to face with another problem.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

Our progress as a nation can be no swifter
than our progress in education.
The human mind is our fundamental resource.
- John F. Kennedy

Progress is impossible without change,
and those who cannot change their minds cannot change anything.
- George Bernard Shaw

The natural progress of things is for liberty
to yield and government to gain ground.
- Thomas Jefferson

I was taught that the way of progress
is neither swift nor easy.
- Marie Curie

We may never be strong enough to be entirely
nonviolent in thought, word and deed.
But we must keep nonviolence as our goal
and make strong progress towards it.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Healthy discontent is the prelude to progress.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

The best road to progress is freedom's road.
- John F. Kennedy

I believe in intuition and inspiration.
Imagination is more important than knowledge.
For knowledge is limited,
whereas imagination embraces the entire world,
stimulating progress, giving birth to evolution.
It is, strictly speaking, a real factor in scientific research.
- Albert Einstein

Law and order exist for the purpose of establishing justice
and when they fail in this purpose
they become the dangerously structured dams
that block the flow of social progress.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

If virtue promises happiness, prosperity and peace,
then progress in virtue is progress in each of these
for to whatever point the perfection of anything brings us,
progress is always an approach toward it.
- Epictetus

Every optimist moves along with progress and hastens it,
while every pessimist would keep the worlds at a standstill.
The consequence of pessimism in the life of a nation
is the same as in the life of the individual.
Pessimism kills the instinct that
urges men to struggle against poverty,
ignorance and crime, and dries up
all the fountains of joy in the world.
- Helen Keller

In my case, Pilgrim's Progress consisted
in my having to climb down a thousand ladders
until I could reach out my hand
to the little clod of earth that I am.
- Carl Jung

I am not an advocate for frequent changes in laws and constitutions,
but laws and institutions must go hand in hand
with the progress of the human mind.
As that becomes more developed, more enlightened,
as new discoveries are made, new truths discovered
and manners and opinions change, with the change of circumstances,
institutions must advance also to keep pace with the times.
- Thomas Jefferson [inscribed in the Jefferson Memorial]

False facts are highly injurious to the progress of science,
for they often endure long; but false views,
if supported by some evidence, do little harm,
for every one takes a salutary pleasure in proving their falseness.
- Charles Darwin

I love being married.
It's so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- Rita Rudner

Don't go around saying the world owes you a living;
the world owes you nothing; it was here first.
- Mark Twain

If you do what you've always done,
you'll get what you always got.
- Mark Twain

Yesterday is like a dung heap;
you can complain about the smell,
or you can use it to fertilize tomorrow's garden.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

If you are not one of us, you are one of them.
- the movie The Matrix (1999)

Be careful not to do your good deeds
when there's no one watching you.
- Tom Lehrer

However beautiful the strategy,
you should occasionally look at the results.
- Winston Churchill

It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble.
It's what you know for sure that just ain't so.
- Mark Twain (attributed)

And you just gotta remember, Sparky -
no matter what they tell you - you can NEVER have too much sugar.
- the movie Michael (1996)

You'll live to be a hundred if you give up
all the things that make you want to.
- the movie Interiors

No one can have a higher opinion of you than I have,
and I think you're a slimy, contemptible sewer rat!
- the movie The Great Mouse Detective

You can't make an omelet without breaking eggs.
- Anonymous

I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell -
you see, I have friends in both places.
- Mark Twain

The proper office of a friend is to side with you
when you are in the wrong.
Nearly anybody will side with you when you are in the right.
- Mark Twain

(Groom), take (Bride)'s hand and place your hand over hers.
Now, remember this moment and cherish it...
because this will be the last time you ever have the upper hand.
- Anonymous

To keep your marriage brimming,
With love in the wedding cup,
Whenever you're wrong, admit it;
Whenever you're right, shut up.
- Ogden Nash

You ask me if I keep a notebook
to record my great ideas.
I've only ever had one.
- Albert Einstein

Oh, Shrek. Don't worry.
Things just seem bad because it's dark and rainy
and Fiona's father hired a sleazy hitman to whack you.
- the movie Shrek 2

When I first saw you, I thought you were handsome.
Then, of course, you spoke.
- the movie As Good As It Gets (1997)

To you I'm an atheist; to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition.
- the Woody Allen movie Stardust Memories

When your friends begin to flatter
you on how young you look,
it's a sure sign you're getting old.
- Mark Twain

A friend is someone who will bail you out of jail.
A best friend is the one sitting next
to you saying "boy was that fun."
- The Maugles

There are two things that are more difficult
than making an after-dinner speech:
climbing a wall which is leaning toward you
and kissing a girl who is leaning away from you.
- Winston Churchill

There's a couple of things they don't teach you
in Harvard Business School,
one is how to cope with defeat,
the other is how to handle a shotgun.
- The Simpsons Movie (2007)

Marriage has no guarantees.
If that's what you're looking for,
go live with a car battery.
- Erma Bombeck

Always remember the three magic words: You're right dear.
- Anonymous

Gentlemen, you can't fight in here! This is the War Room.
- the movie Dr. Strangelove (1964)

In order to be happy with a man,
you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot
and not try to understand her at all.
- Helen Rowland

You never really know a man until you have divorced him.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor

You know what? Maybe there's a good reason
donkeys shouldn't talk.
- the movie Shrek (2001)

If at first you don't succeed,
skydiving is not for you.
- Anonymous

You know, it takes two to get one in trouble.
- the movie She Done Him Wrong (1933)

Be careful about reading health books.
You may die of a misprint.
- Mark Twain

DON'T get officious.
You're not yourself when you're officious -
That is the curse of a government job.
- the movie Harold and Maude (1971)

I got a good mind to join a club
and beat you over the head with it.
- the Groucho Marx movie Duck Soup

Now, if you don't mind, I'd appreciate it if you could lower your wand.
- the movie Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban

I think you're the opposite of a paranoid.
I think you go around with the insane delusion that people like you.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry

Thank you, gentlemen. Someday I will repay you,
unless of course I can't find you, or if I forget.
- the movie Shrek 2

The worst part of success is to try to find
someone who is happy for you.
- Bette Midler

You have to learn to push the guilt
under the rug and move on,
otherwise it overwhelms you.
- the Woody Allen movie Match Point

Well, you ask a silly question, and you get a silly answer.
- Tom Lehrer

Where did you park the invisible car?
- the movie Megamind (2010)

You can put wings on a pig,
but you don't make it an eagle.
- William J. Clinton

You're already a bastard.
Might as well be an enlightened one.
- the movie Simon Birch

I read that you should never go out with someone
if you can think of three reasons why you shouldn't.
- the movie Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason (2004)

There's no reason to become alarmed,
and we hope you'll enjoy the rest of your flight.
By the way, is there anyone on board who knows how to fly a plane?
- the movie Airplane!

You can lead a man to Congress,
but you can't make him think.
- Milton Berle


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


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