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Funny Produce Quotes
Funny Quotes about Produce

Let these funny Produce Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

Collective fear stimulates herd instinct,
and tends to produce ferocity toward
those who are not regarded as members of the herd.
- Bertrand Russell

The most intense conflicts, if overcome,
leave behind a sense of security and calm
that is not easily disturbed.
It is just these intense conflicts
and their conflagration
which are needed to produce
valuable and lasting results.
- Carl Jung

Jealousy is a disease, love is a healthy condition.
The immature mind often mistakes one for the other,
or assumes that the greater the love, the greater the jealousy -
in fact, they're almost incompatible;
one emotion hardly leaves room for the other.
Both at once can produce unbearable turmoil.
- Robert Heinlein

A nation or civilization that
continues to produce soft-minded men
purchases its own spiritual death
on the installment plan.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.


 

Money has never made man happy, nor will it,
there is nothing in its nature to produce happiness.
The more of it one has the more one wants.
- Benjamin Franklin

There are a thousand hacking at the branches of evil
to one who is striking at the root,
and it may be that he who bestows the largest amount
of time and money on the needy
is doing the most by his mode of life
to produce that misery
which he strives in vain to relieve.
- Henry David Thoreau

Dreams pass into the reality of action.
From the actions stems the dream again;
and this interdependence produces the highest form of living.
- Anais Nin


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The sculptor produces the beautiful statue
by chipping away such parts of the marble block as are not needed -
it is a process of elimination.
- Elbert Hubbard

It is always the simple that produces the marvelous.
- Amelia Barr

Music produces a kind of pleasure
which human nature cannot do without.
- Confucius

My own gratitude list begins with health, family, friends,
and the beauty around me - from the butterflies and rainbows,
to the dolphins, to the birds, to the works produced by the human hand.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Every man is a consumer, and ought to be a producer.
He is by constitution expensive, and needs to be rich.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

No one has a right to consume happiness without producing it.
- Helen Keller

Have we not come to such an impasse in the modern world
that we must love our enemies - or else?
The chain reaction of evil -
hate begetting hate, wars producing more wars -
must be broken, or else we shall be plunged
into the dark abyss of annihilation.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

Be careful not to do your good deeds
when there's no one watching you.
- Tom Lehrer

Marriage has no guarantees.
If that's what you're looking for,
go live with a car battery.
- Erma Bombeck

No one can have a higher opinion of you than I have,
and I think you're a slimy, contemptible sewer rat!
- the movie The Great Mouse Detective

No matter how much cats fight,
there always seem to be plenty of kittens.
- Abraham Lincoln

Oh no, I can't do anything to the death.
Doctor's orders. You see, I have this ulcer condition,
and death is the worst thing for it.
- the movie Love and Death

A man's friendships are, like his will,
invalidated by marriage -
but they are also no less invalidated
by the marriage of his friends.
- Samuel Butler

Television has a real problem. They have no page two.
- Art Buchwald

When I eventually met Mr. Right
I had no idea that his first name was Always.
- Rita Rudner

One cannot have everything the way he would like it.
A man has no business to be depressed by a disappointment,
anyway; he ought to make up his mind to get even.
- Mark Twain

Mr. President, I'm not saying we wouldn't get our hair mussed.
But I do say no more than ten to twenty million killed, tops.
Uh, depending on the breaks.
- the movie Dr. Strangelove

And you just gotta remember, Sparky -
no matter what they tell you - you can NEVER have too much sugar.
- the movie Michael (1996)

A honeymoon should be like a table:
four bare legs and no drawers.
- Anonymous

I have no fear of the gallows ... They're going to shoot me.
- the movie Love and Death

There's no reason to become alarmed,
and we hope you'll enjoy the rest of your flight.
By the way, is there anyone on board who knows how to fly a plane?
- the movie Airplane!

No man is truly married until he understands
every word his wife is NOT saying.
- Anonymous

Fat, drunk, and stupid is no way to go through life, son.
- the movie National Lampoon's Animal House (1978)

No one knows what's next, but everybody does it.
- George Carlin

The worst government is often the most moral.
One composed of cynics is often very tolerant and humane.
But when fanatics are on top there is no limit to oppression.
- H. L. Mencken

I begin with the principle that all men are bores.
Surely no one will prove himself
so great a bore as to contradict me in this.
- Soren Kierkegaard

The man who does not read good books
has no advantage over the man who cannot read them.
- Mark Twain

Some people are so heavenly minded
that they are no earthly good.
- Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.

There is no such thing as public opinion.
There is only published opinion.
- Winston Churchill

As soon as someone is identified as an unsung hero,
he no longer is.
- George Carlin

He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.
- Oscar Wilde

There is no sadder sight than a young pessimist.
- Mark Twain

No one was ever named "Hero" for following the crowd.
Heroes set their own course.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The universe we observe has precisely
the properties we should expect
if there is, at bottom, no design,
no purpose, no evil, no good,
nothing but blind, pitiless indifference.
- Charles Darwin

Random chance seems to have operated in our favor ...
there was no deity involved.
- Spock character in the Star Trek television series

I am no longer young enough to know everything.
- Oscar Wilde

Early in life I had to choose between honest arrogance
and hypocritical humility.
I chose the former and have seen no reason to change.
- Frank Lloyd Wright

No problem is so formidable that
you can't walk away from it.
- Charles M. Schulz' cartoon Peanuts

When all think alike, no one is thinking very much.
- Walter Lippmann

Clothes make the man.
Naked people have little or no influence on society.
- Mark Twain

If at first you don't succeed,
try, try, and try again.
Then give up.
There's no use being a damned fool about it.
- W. C. Fields

Science may have found a cure for most evils;
but it has found no remedy for the worst of them all -
the apathy of human beings.
- Helen Keller

Computers are like Old Testament gods;
lots of rules and no mercy.
- Joseph Campbell

Principles have no real force except when one is well-fed.
- Mark Twain

Do not bite at the bait of pleasure,
till you know there is no hook beneath it.
- Thomas Jefferson

I once had a rose named after me
and I was very flattered.
But I was not pleased to read
the description in the catalogue:
no good in a bed, but fine up against a wall.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

There is no use whatsoever trying to help
people who do not help themselves.
You cannot push anyone up a ladder
unless he is willing to climb himself.
- Andrew Carnegie

Every one desires to live long,
but no one would be old.
- Abraham Lincoln

Some things will never seem adequate
no matter how hard we try.
- from the movie White Man's Burden

He who loves 50 people has 50 woes;
he who loves no one has no woes.
- The Buddha

It is the things for which there is no evidence
that are believed with passion.
- Bertrand Russell

Less is only more where more is no good.
- Frank Lloyd Wright

I find that principles have no real force
except when one is well fed.
- Mark Twain

Against logic there is no armor like ignorance.
- Laurence J. Peter

Faced with the choice between changing one's mind
and proving that there is no need to do so,
almost everyone gets busy on the proof.
- John Kenneth Galbraith

The most difficult phase of life
is not when no one understands you,
it is when you don't understand yourself.
- Anonymous

The way to silence religious disputes is to take no notice of them.
- Thomas Jefferson

The fear of death is the most unjustified of all fears,
for there's no risk of accident for someone who's dead.
- Albert Einstein

Experience keeps a dear school,
but fools will learn in no other.
- Benjamin Franklin

There is no pleasure in having nothing to do;
the fun is in having lots to do and not doing it.
- Mary Wilson Little

A clever man commits no minor blunders.
- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

You have no values. With you its all nihilism,
cynicism, sarcasm, and orgasm.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry

It has been my experience that folks who
have no vices, have very few virtues.
- Abraham Lincoln

In theory there is no difference between theory and practice.
In practice there is.
- Yogi Berra


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- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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