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Let these funny Polite Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
When you have to kill a man,
it costs nothing to be polite.
- Winston Churchill
Be polite to all, but intimate with few.
- Thomas Jefferson
Politeness is organized indifference.
- Paul Valery
In truth, politeness is artificial good humor,
it covers the natural want of it,
and ends by rendering habitual a substitute
nearly equivalent to the real virtue.
- Thomas Jefferson
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Interesting.
You Earth people glorify organized violence for 40 centuries,
but you imprison those who employ it privately.
- the character Spock in the television series Star Trek
So divinely is the world organized that every one of us,
in our place and time, is in balance with everything else.
- Adam Acone
To the well-organized mind,
death is but the next great adventure.
- J. K. Rowling
Resistance to the organized mass can be effected only
by the man who is as well organized
in his individuality as the mass itself.
- Carl Jung
For a people who are free, and who mean to remain so,
a well-organized and armed militia is their best security.
- Thomas Jefferson
I wanted to see exotic Vietnam, the jewel of Southeast Asia.
I, uh, I wanted to meet interesting
and stimulating people of an ancient culture,
and kill them.
- the movie Full Metal Jacket
A lot of presidential memoirs, they say, are dull and self-serving.
I hope mine is interesting and self-serving.
- William J. Clinton
It is an interesting question how far men
would retain their relative rank
if they were divested of their clothes.
- Henry David Thoreau
Success is never so interesting as struggle
- Willa Cather
The only interesting answers are those that destroy the questions.
- Susan Sontag
The most interesting information comes from children,
for they tell all they know and then stop.
- Mark Twain
I have often wanted to drown my troubles,
but I can't get my wife to go swimming.
- Anonymous
My boyfriend and I broke up.
He wanted to get married and I didn't want him to.
- Rita Rudner
After fifteen minutes I wanted to marry her,
and after half an hour
I completely gave up the idea of stealing her purse.
- the movie Take the Money and Run (1969)
In all our contacts, it is probably the sense
of being really needed and wanted
which gives us the greatest satisfaction
and creates the most lasting bond.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
Sometimes you get the results you wanted,
sometimes you don't.
What matters is that you did your best.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Some people wanted champagne and caviar
when they should have had beer and hot dogs.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
Even the rich are hungry for love,
for being cared for, for being wanted,
for having someone to call their own.
- Mother Teresa
Piglet sidled up to Pooh from behind. "Pooh?" he whispered.
"Yes, Piglet?"
"Nothing," said Piglet, taking Pooh's hand.
"I just wanted to be sure of you."
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)
In my prayers I never said I needed a home.
I said I wanted a sanctuary.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
A somebody was once a nobody who wanted to and did.
- John Burroughs
Today is the right day to do
what you have long wanted to do.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I wanted to know the name of every stone
and flower and insect and bird and beast.
I wanted to know where it got its color, where it got its life -
but there was no one to tell me.
- George Washington Carver
I wanted to be a doctor that I might be able to work
without having to talk
because for years I had been giving myself out in words.
- Albert Schweitzer
People say conversation is a lost art;
how often I have wished it were.
- Edward R. Murrow
Do not laugh much or often or unrestrainedly.
- Epictetus
The worst government is often the most moral.
One composed of cynics is often very tolerant and humane.
But when fanatics are on top there is no limit to oppression.
- H. L. Mencken
Too often we... enjoy the comfort of opinion
without the discomfort of thought.
- John F. Kennedy
Too often the strong, silent man is silent only because
he does not know what to say, and is reputed strong
only because he has remained silent.
- Winston Churchill
Rules are mostly made to be broken
and are too often for the lazy to hide behind.
- Douglas MacArthur
Money often costs too much.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Happiness is often the result of being too busy to be miserable.
- Anonymous
In the course of my life, I have often had to eat my words,
and I must confess that I have always found it a wholesome diet.
- Winston Churchill
If you refuse to accept anything but the best,
you very often get it.
- Somerset Maugham
One of the annoying things about believing in free will
and individual responsibility is the difficulty
of finding somebody to blame your problems on.
And when you do find somebody, it's remarkable
how often his picture turns up on your driver's license.
- P. J. O'Rourke
The darkest night is often the bridge to the brightest tomorrow.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Worry often gives a small thing a big shadow.
- Swedish Proverb
Today is your day to laugh at life,
laugh at what's funny - laugh at what's sad,
laugh loud - laugh often,
laugh at me - laugh at you - laugh at life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The price of freedom for a nation is lives and money.
Often, the price of freedom for an individual
is challenging the closed minds of family and friend.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
It's a funny thing about life;
if you refuse to accept anything but the best,
you very often get it.
- W. Somerset Maugham
It is better to light a candle than to curse the darkness.
- Chinese proverb often quoted by Eleanor Roosevelt
It is often easier to ask for forgiveness
than to ask for permission.
- Grace Hopper
Know the best and highest choices for health
and more often choose those things.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
Mostly, it is human to dislike surprises -
often with great intensity.
Be open to new ways;
sometimes newness just knocks on our door;
welcome it.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Indifference and neglect often
do much more damage than outright dislike.
- J. K. Rowling
To laugh often and much;
to win the respect of intelligent people
and the affection of children,
to leave the world a better place,
to know even one life has breathed easier
because you have lived,
this is to have succeeded.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
No man stands so tall as when he stoops to help a child.
- Anonymous (often attributed to Abraham Lincoln)
Often the hands will solve a mystery
that the intellect has struggled with in vain.
- Carl Jung
In time we hate that which we often fear.
- William Shakespeare
Intense feeling too often obscures the truth.
- Harry S. Truman
From the deepest desires often come the deadliest hate.
- Socrates
Avoiding danger is no safer
in the long run than outright exposure.
The fearful are caught as often as the bold.
- Helen Keller
Live Well, Love Much, Laugh Often.
- Anonymous
Live boldly. Laugh Loudly. Love Truly.
Play as often as you can
Work as smart as you are able.
Share your heart as deeply as you can reach.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
By not caring too much about what people think,
I'm able to think for myself
and propagate ideas which are very often unpopular.
And I succeed.
- Albert Ellis
People are often unreasonable, illogical, and self-centered; ...
Forgive them anyway.
- Kent Keith
(often attributed to Mother Teresa, who kept a copy
on the wall of her orphanage)
The willow which bends to the tempest,
often escapes better than the oak which resists it;
and so in great calamities,
it sometimes happens that light and frivolous spirits
recover their elasticity and presence of mind sooner
than those of a loftier character.
- Albert Schweitzer
Often it does not matter so much what we choose,
but that we do choose.
- Alan Cohen
Today is my day to laugh loud - laugh often
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The best cure for our own self-inflicted suffering
is often service to others.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Honest disagreement is often a good sign of progress.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
Laugh Loud - Laugh Often
Laugh At What's Funny - Laugh At What's Sad
Laugh At Me - Laugh At You - Laugh At Life
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
To improve is to change;
to be perfect is to change often.
- Winston Churchill
What we call the beginning is often the end.
And to make an end is to make a beginning.
The end is where we start from.
- T. S. Eliot
Today is my day to laugh at life.
Laugh loud - laugh often.
Laugh at what's funny - laugh at what's sad.
Laugh at me - laugh at you - laugh at life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
When one door closes, another opens.
But often we look so long, so regretfully,
upon the closed door,
that we fail to see the one that is opened for us.
- Helen Keller
Action speaks louder than words but not nearly as often.
- Mark Twain
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.