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Funny Quotes about Life
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Funny Pleasure Quotes
Funny Quotes about Pleasure

Let these funny Pleasure Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

Appreciate again and again, freshly and naively,
the basic goods of life, with awe,
pleasure, wonder and even ecstasy,
however stale these experiences may have become to others.
- Abraham Maslow

Do not bite at the bait of pleasure,
till you know there is no hook beneath it.
- Thomas Jefferson

There is no pleasure in having nothing to do;
the fun is in having lots to do and not doing it.
- Mary Wilson Little

It gives me great pleasure indeed to see the stubbornness
of an incorrigible nonconformist warmly acclaimed.
- Albert Einstein


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I believe that every human mind feels pleasure
in doing good to another.
- Thomas Jefferson

My definition of success is to live your life in a way
that causes you to feel a ton of pleasure and very little pain -
and because of your lifestyle, have the people around you feel
a lot more pleasure than they do pain.
- Tony Robbins

Only he is successful in his business who makes that pursuit
which affords him the highest pleasure sustain him.
- Henry David Thoreau


 

To give pleasure to a single heart by a single act
is better than a thousand heads bowing in prayer.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

The great pleasure in life is doing
what people say you cannot do.
- Walter Bagehot

Music produces a kind of pleasure
which human nature cannot do without.
- Confucius

The noblest pleasure is the joy of understanding.
- Leonardo da Vinci

Pleasure disappoints, possibility never
- Soren Kierkegaard

A new friend is like new wine;
when it has aged you will drink it with pleasure.
- Ecclesiastes 9:10

Most men pursue pleasure with such breathless haste
that they hurry past it.
- Soren Kierkegaard

If I were to wish for anything,
I should not wish for wealth and power,
but for the passionate sense of potential -
for the eye which, ever young and ardent, sees the possible.
Pleasure disappoints; possibility never.
- Soren Kierkegaard

Liberty is to the collective body,
what health is to every individual body.
Without health no pleasure can be tasted by man;
without liberty, no happiness can be enjoyed by society.
- Thomas Jefferson

When one has the feeling of dislike for evil,
when one feels tranquil,
one finds pleasure in listening to good teachings;
when one has these feelings and appreciates them,
one is free of fear.
- The Buddha

Allow the president to invade a neighboring nation,
whenever he shall deem it necessary to repel an invasion,
and you allow him to do so whenever he may choose
to say he deems it necessary for such a purpose -
and you allow him to make war at pleasure.
- Abraham Lincoln

Man can never know the kind of loneliness a woman knows.
Man lies in a woman's womb only to gather strength,
he nourishes himself from this fusion,
and then he rises and goes into the world,
into his work, into battle, into art.
He is not lonely. He is busy.
The memory of the swim in amniotic fluid gives him energy, completion.
The woman may be busy too, but she feels empty.
Sensuality for her is not only a wave of pleasure
in which she has bathed,
and a charge of electric joy at contact with another.
When man lies in her womb, she is fulfilled,
each act of love a a taking of man within her,
an act of birth and rebirth, of child-bearing and man-bearing.
Man lies in her womb and is reborn each time anew
with a desire to act, to BE.
But for woman, the climax is not in the birth,
but in the moment the man rests inside of her.
- Anais Nin

There are nine requisites for contented living:
HEALTH enough to make work a pleasure;
WEALTH enough to support your needs;
STRENGTH enough to battle with difficulties and forsake them;
GRACE enough to confess your sins and overcome them;
PATIENCE enough to toil until some good is accomplished;
CHARITY enough to see some good in your neighbor;
LOVE enough to move you to be useful and helpful to others;
FAITH enough to make real the things of God;
HOPE enough to remove all anxious fears concerning the future.
- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

The greatest battle of all is simply... Life.
This is no child's game. This is the big one -
the Super Bowl - the Game of all games.
The rules of Life are unwritten and unknown.
Perhaps, one could say that there are no rules.
The Judge has ultimate power.
She can call the game at any time - for any reason.
The penalties in the Game are completely arbitrary -
in both timing and severity.
Penalty for what, we ask?
The Judge is silent.
How can I win the Game?
"You can never win," comes the answer,
"So just take pleasure in playing the Game."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

False facts are highly injurious to the progress of science,
for they often endure long; but false views,
if supported by some evidence, do little harm,
for every one takes a salutary pleasure in proving their falseness.
- Charles Darwin

Think big thoughts but relish small pleasures.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

It is of the small joys and little pleasures
that the greatest of our days are built.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

It is the nature of the wise to resist pleasures,
but the foolish to be a slave to them.
- Epictetus

That man is rich whose pleasures are the cheapest.
- Henry David Thoreau

If one oversteps the bounds of moderation,
the greatest pleasures cease to please.
- Epictetus

There is more difference in the quality
of our pleasures than in the amount.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Our pleasures were simple - they included survival.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

What if happiness were found in the serenity of simple pleasures.
What if we didn't need the newest gizmo... the highest high?
What if happiness is in the air we breathe...
slowly, deeply, and consciously?
What if happiness is one fresh grape, savored with gratitude?
What if happiness is in our oneness with all creation?
What if happiness is about enjoying life exactly as it comes to us -
without chasing after it?
What if happiness is something we CHOOSE...
regardless of our circumstances?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Service which is rendered without joy
helps neither the servant nor the served.
But all other pleasures and possessions
pale into nothingness before service
which is rendered in a spirit of joy.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Religion is the masterpiece of the art of animal training,
for it trains people as to how they should think.
- Arthur Schopenhauer

A relationship, I think, is like a shark.
You know? It has to constantly move forward or it dies.
And I think what we got on our hands is a dead shark.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall (1977)

If the facts don't fit the theory,
change the facts.
- Albert Einstein

I read that you should never go out with someone
if you can think of three reasons why you shouldn't.
- the movie Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason (2004)

Whenever I date a guy, I think,
"Is this the man I want my children
to spend their weekends with?"
- Rita Rudner

I personally think we developed language
because of our deep need to complain.
- Lily Tomlin

The key is, to not think of death as an end,
but as more of a very effective way to cut down on your expenses.
- the movie Love and Death

She's been diagnosed as a paranoid hypochondriac.
Doctors think she may be faking.
- the movie Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid

I think you're the opposite of a paranoid.
I think you go around with the insane delusion that people like you.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry

You can lead a man to Congress,
but you can't make him think.
- Milton Berle

No one can have a higher opinion of you than I have,
and I think you're a slimy, contemptible sewer rat!
- the movie The Great Mouse Detective

What we think, we become.
All that we are arises with our thoughts.
With our thoughts, we make the world.
- The Buddha

If it turns out that there IS a God,
I don't think that he's evil.
I think that the worst you can say about him
is that basically he's an underachiever.
- the movie Love and Death

In life you are given two ends;
one to think with and the other to sit on.
Your success in life depends on which end you use most.
Heads you win, tails you lose.
- Conrad Burns

Did you ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)

I don't think the intelligence reports are all that hot.
Some days I get more out of the New York Times.
- John F. Kennedy

For those who do not think,
it is best at least to rearrange
their prejudices once in a while.
- Luther Burbank

Really I feel less keen about the Army every day.
I think the Church would suit me better.
- Winston Churchill

I think men who have a pierced ear
are better prepared for marriage.
They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.
- Rita Rudner

People who think they know everything
are a great annoyance to those of us who do.
- Isaac Asimov

The third certainty of life, after death and taxes,
is that nothing will work out the way you want.
Life is fully as bad as you think it is.
Choose to live joyfully anyway.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

You can always do one thing less than you think you can.
- Anonymous

I think that there is nothing, not even crime,
more opposed to poetry, to philosophy, ay, to life itself
than this incessant business.
- Henry David Thoreau

Always speak the truth,
think before you speak,
and write it down afterwards.
- Lewis Carroll

I think it's the duty of the comedian to find out
where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately.
- George Carlin

Anyone who thinks sitting in church
can make you a Christian must also think
that sitting in a garage can make you a car.
- Garrison Keillor

I don't like to think of laws
as rules you have to follow,
but more as suggestions.
- George Carlin

Jealousy is all the fun you think they had.
- Erica Jong

Think of how stupid the average person is,
and realize half of them are stupider than that.
- George Carlin

The objection to Puritans is not that
they try to make us think as they do,
but that they try to make us do as they think.
- H. L. Mencken

What do I think of Western civilization?
I think it would be a very good idea.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Human beings are the only creatures on the planet
who tell time and think they have to earn a living.
- Buckminster Fuller

When all think alike, no one is thinking very much.
- Walter Lippmann

If you can't annoy somebody with what you write,
I think there's little point in writing.
- Kingsley Amis

Life is as easy or as hard as you think it is.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The important thing is not to stop questioning.
Curiosity has its own reason for existing.
- Albert Einstein

People should think things out fresh
and not just accept conventional terms
and the conventional way of doing things.
- R. Buckminster Fuller

It isn't what you have, or who you are, or where you are,
or what you are doing that makes you happy or unhappy.
It is what you think about.
- Dale Carnegie

The function of education is to teach one
to think intensively and to think critically.
Intelligence plus character - that is the goal of true education.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

Anyone who knows history, particularly
the history of Europe, will, I think,
recognize that the domination
of education or of government
by any one particular religious faith
is never a happy arrangement for the people.
- Eleanor Roosevelt


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


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