Facebook share Tweet This Email this
Let these funny Pleasing Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
If I try to be like him, who will be like me?
- Yiddish proverb
I don't care whose fault this was, just get it sorted!
And could someone please bring me something deep fat fried
and smothered in chocolate.
- the movie Shrek 2
If this is coffee, please bring me some tea;
but if this is tea, please bring me some coffee.
- Abraham Lincoln
If love is the answer,
could you please rephrase the question.
- Lily Tomlin
Get a Funny Quote of the Day each day by email or in your feed reader.
Greetings, cosmic children of the universe.
Welcome to my serenity circle.
Please leave all bad vibes outside the healing vortex.
- the movie Shrek the Third (2007)
Keep busy - with tasks that inspire you,
motivate you, or please you.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I was thinking that I might fly today.
Just to disprove all the things you say...
please be careful with me, I'm sensitive,
and I'd like to stay that way.
- Jewel
I don't know the key to success,
but the key to failure is to try to please everyone.
- Bill Cosby
That you may retain your self-respect, it is better
to displease the people by doing what you know is right,
than to temporarily please them by doing what you know is wrong.
- William J. H. Boetcker
Don't live your life to please other people.
- Oprah Winfrey
A "No" uttered from deepest conviction
is better and greater than a "Yes" merely uttered to please,
or what is worse, to avoid trouble.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
The freedom we are looking for
is the freedom to be ourselves,
to express ourselves. But if we look at our lives
we will see that most of the time
we do things just to please others ...
The worst part is that most of us
are not even aware that we are not free.
- Don Miguel Ruiz
If one oversteps the bounds of moderation,
the greatest pleasures cease to please.
- Epictetus
It is the quality of our work which will please God
and not the quantity.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
The Moon Cannot Be Stolen:
A thief entered the little hut of a Zen Master,
but discovered there was nothing to steal.
The Zen Master discovered the thief.
"You have come a long way to visit me," he told the prowler,
"and you should not return empty-handed.
Please take my clothes as a gift."
The thief was bewildered,
but he took the clothes and slunk away.
The Zen Master sat naked, watching the moon.
"Poor fellow," he mused,
"I wish I could have given him this beautiful moon."
- Traditional Zen Koan
I have no dress except the one I wear every day.
If you are going to be kind enough to give me one,
please let it be practical and dark
so that I can put it on afterwards to go to the laboratory.
- Marie Curie
Please know that I am aware of the hazards.
I want to do it because I want to do it.
Women must try to do things as men have tried.
When they fail, their failure must be a challenge to others.
- Amelia Earhart
The only advantage of not being too good a housekeeper
is that your guests are so pleased
to feel how very much better they are.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
I once had a rose named after me
and I was very flattered.
But I was not pleased to read
the description in the catalogue:
no good in a bed, but fine up against a wall.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
When you're drowning, you don't say,
"I would be incredibly pleased if someone
would have the foresight to notice
me drowning and come and help me,"
you just scream.
- John Lennon
The only thing to do with good advice is to pass it on.
It is never of any use to oneself.
- Oscar Wilde
The only fool bigger than the person who knows it all
is the person who argues with him.
- Stanislaw Jerszy Lec
Life is like jumping out of an airplane without a parachute -
only the last couple seconds are fatal,
but most people are scared to death the whole way down.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends
is that three out of four murders
are committed by people who know the victim.
- George Carlin
I don't want to move to a city where the only cultural advantage
is being able to make a right turn on a red light.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall
Oh, if only God would give me some sign.
If He would just speak to me once. Anything.
One sentence. Two words. If He would just cough.
- the movie Love and Death
You ask me if I keep a notebook
to record my great ideas.
I've only ever had one.
- Albert Einstein
The attempt to combine wisdom and power
has only rarely been successful and then only for a short while.
- Albert Einstein
Only two things are infinite,
the universe and human stupidity,
and I'm not sure about the former.
- Albert Einstein
Money is better than poverty,
if only for financial reasons.
- Woody Allen
Human beings are the only creatures on the planet
who tell time and think they have to earn a living.
- Buckminster Fuller
You are only young once,
but you can stay immature indefinitely.
- Anonymous
The claim "I was only following orders" has been used
to justify too many tragedies in our history.
- Captain Picard of the television series
STAR TREK: The Next Generation
The essence of all religions is one.
Only their approaches are different.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
I always pass on good advice.
It is the only thing to do with it.
It is never of any use to oneself.
- Oscar Wilde
Nothing in life is to be feared.
It is only to be understood.
- Marie Curie
Love is only a dirty trick played on us
to achieve continuation of the species.
- W. Somerset Maugham
If you want total security, go to prison.
There you're fed, clothed, given medical care and so on.
The only thing lacking... is freedom.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
Feeling sorry for yourself, and your present condition,
is not only a waste of energy
but the worst habit you could possibly have.
- Dale Carnegie
The physician can bury his mistakes,
but the architect can only advise his client to plant vines -
so they should go as far as possible from home
to build their first buildings.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
I only wish that ordinary people
had an unlimited capacity for doing harm;
then they might have an unlimited power for doing good.
- Socrates
I believe totally in a Capitalist System,
I only wish that someone would try it.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
A doctor can bury his mistakes
but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
Life only
appears to be
rushing toward us
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Only a fool tests the depth of the water with both feet.
- African Proverb
Less is only more where more is no good.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
The only true love is love at first sight;
second sight dispels it.
- Israel Zangwill
Only dead fish swim with the stream.
- Anonymous
I've developed a new philosophy...
I only dread one day at a time.
- the character Charlie Brown in Charles M. Schulz' Peanuts comic
Boys will be boys. And even that wouldn't matter
if only we could prevent girls from being girls.
- Anne Frank
Advertisements contain the only truths
to be relied on in a newspaper.
- Thomas Jefferson
Life would be infinitely happier if we could only be born
at the age of eighty and gradually approach eighteen.
- Mark Twain
History teaches us that men and nations behave wisely
only after they have exhausted all other alternatives.
- Abba Eban
It is only the poor who pay cash,
and that not from virtue,
but because they are refused credit.
- Anatole France
There is no such thing as public opinion.
There is only published opinion.
- Winston Churchill
I never make stupid mistakes.
Only very, very clever ones.
- John Peel
Things may come to those who wait,
but only the things left by those who hustle.
- Abraham Lincoln
There is only one thing about which I am certain,
and that is that there is very little
about which one can be certain.
- W. Somerset Maugham
The only thing that interferes with my learning is my education.
- Albert Einstein
There are three hundred and sixty-four days
when you might get un-birthday presents,
and only one for birthday presents, you know.
- Lewis Carroll
Magic is natural to Wizards,
and only a little harder for the rest of us.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The reason I talk to myself is because
I'm the only one whose answers I accept.
- George Carlin
Politics is almost as exciting as war, and quite as dangerous.
In war you can only be killed once, but in politics many times.
- Winston Churchill
Too often the strong, silent man is silent only because
he does not know what to say, and is reputed strong
only because he has remained silent.
- Winston Churchill
The only good thing ever to come out of religion was the music.
- George Carlin
Move out of your comfort zone. You can only
grow if you are willing to feel awkward and
uncomfortable when you try something new.
- Brian Tracy
One can not reflect in streaming water.
Only those who know internal peace can give it to others.
- Lao Tzu
You're only here for a short visit.
Don't hurry. Don't worry.
And be sure to smell the flowers along the way.
- Walter Hagen
Miracles are the natural way of the Universe -
our only job is to move our doubting minds aside
and let the miracles flow.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
People only see what they are prepared to see.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
There are only two ways to live your life.
One is as though nothing is a miracle.
The other is as though everything is a miracle.
- Albert Einstein
Thank you for visiting: Funny Pleasing Quotes - Funny Quotes about Pleasing.
Please sign up on the form below to receive
my Free Daily Inspiration - Daily Quotes email.
You can also search my large collection of Funny Quotes.
May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.