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Let these funny Pleasant Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
If we had no winter, the spring would not be so pleasant.
If we did not sometimes taste of adversity,
prosperity would not be so welcome.
- Anne Bradstreet
People do not like to think.
If one thinks, one must reach conclusions.
Conclusions are not always pleasant.
- Helen Keller
It is easy enough to be pleasant
When life flows by like a song,
But the man worth while is the one who will smile
When everything goes dead wrong.
- Ella Wheeler Wilcox
I look forward to these confrontations with the press
to kind of balance up the nice and pleasant things
that come to me as president.
- Jimmy Carter
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Doubt is not a pleasant condition, but certainty is absurd.
- Voltaire
Overwhelm is not a pleasant condition.
The to-do list overflows,
the deadlines appear imminent and immovable.
There are too many demands upon too little of your time.
Does this sound familiar?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
There is nothing more dreadful than the habit of doubt.
Doubt separates people.
It is a poison that disintegrates
friendships and breaks up pleasant relations.
It is a thorn that irritates and hurts;
it is a sword that kills.
- The Buddha
While you can and should keep your composure and happiness
regardless of circumstances - regardless of your friends,
family and co-workers - regardless of gossip, sarcasm, and negativity.
Nonetheless, life is much easier and more pleasant
when you spend as much time as possible
in the company of enthusiastic positive people -
not necessarily those who agree with you,
but those who respect your right to your point of view.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
My theory has always been, that if we are to dream,
the flatteries of hope are as cheap, and pleasanter,
than the gloom of despair.
- Thomas Jefferson
Creationists make it sound as though a "theory'
is something you dreamt up after being drunk all night.
- Isaac Asimov
In theory there is no difference between theory and practice.
In practice there is.
- Yogi Berra
If the facts don't fit the theory,
change the facts.
- Albert Einstein
Morality is the theory that every human act
must be either right or wrong,
and that 99 % of them are wrong.
- H. L. Mencken
The moment a person forms a theory,
his imagination sees in every object
only the traits which favor that theory.
- Thomas Jefferson
An ounce of action is worth a ton of theory.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
He who loves practice without theory
is like the sailor who boards ship
without a rudder and compass
and never knows where he may cast.
- Leonardo da Vinci
We must respect the other fellow's religion,
but only in the sense and to the extent
that we respect his theory that
his wife is beautiful and his children smart.
- H. L. Mencken
I have this theory - that if we're told we're bad,
then that's the only ideal we'll ever have.
- Jewel
There could be no fairer destiny for any physical theory
than that it should point the way to a more comprehensive theory
in which it lives on as a limiting case.
- Albert Einstein
I have just got a new theory of eternity.
- Albert Einstein
Go ahead, make my day.
- the movie Sudden Impact (1983)
You can lead a man to Congress,
but you can't make him think.
- Milton Berle
Clear? Huh. Why a four-year-old child
could understand this report.
Run out and find me a four-year-old child,
I can't make head or tail of it.
- the Groucho Marx movie Duck Soup
I don't want to move to a city where the only cultural advantage
is being able to make a right turn on a red light.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall
EVERYONE has the right to make an ass out of themselves.
- Harold and Maude (The movie )
One cannot have everything the way he would like it.
A man has no business to be depressed by a disappointment,
anyway; he ought to make up his mind to get even.
- Mark Twain
New Yorkers love it when you spill your guts out there.
Spill your guts at Wimbledon and they make you stop and clean it up.
- Jimmy Carter
I didn't make it all the way through third grade for nothing.
- the movie The Rescuers Down Under
You can put wings on a pig,
but you don't make it an eagle.
- William J. Clinton
You can't make an omelet without breaking eggs.
- Anonymous
You'll live to be a hundred if you give up
all the things that make you want to.
- the movie Interiors
Nothing makes the earth seem so spacious
as to have friends at a distance;
they make the latitudes and the longitudes.
- Henry David Thoreau
A positive attitude may not solve all your problems,
but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort.
- Herm Albright
Am I not destroying my enemies
when I make friends of them?
- Abraham Lincoln
Law of Contrariness:
Our chief want in life is somebody
who shall make us do what we can.
Having found them, we shall then hate them for it.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Speak when you are angry -
and you will make the best speech you'll ever regret.
- Laurence J. Peter
If you want to make enemies,
try to change something.
- Woodrow Wilson
You have to be a bastard to make it, and that's a fact.
And the Beatles are the biggest bastards on earth.
- John Lennon
How many legs does a dog have
if you call the tail a leg? Four.
Calling a tail a leg doesn't make it a leg.
- Abraham Lincoln
Money won't make you happy...
but everybody wants to find out for themselves.
- Zig Ziglar
People who are wrapped up in themselves make small packages.
- Benjamin Franklin
We make our friends; we make our enemies;
but God makes our next-door neighbor.
- Gilbert (G. K.) Chesterton
I don't know, I don't care,
and it doesn't make any difference!
- Albert Einstein
Gods always behave like the people who make them.
- Zora Neale Hurston
Clothes make the man.
Naked people have little or no influence on society.
- Mark Twain
The greatest mistake you can make in life
is to be continually fearing you will make one.
- Elbert Hubbard
God doesn't make junk.
- Anonymous
I love deadlines.
I love the whooshing noise they make as they go by.
- Douglas Adams
Lord, where we are wrong,
make us willing to change;
where we are right,
make us easy to live with.
- Peter Marshall
If Hitler invaded hell
I would make at least a favorable reference
to the devil in the House of Commons.
- Winston Churchill
Human beings must have action;
and they will make it if they cannot find it.
- Albert Einstein
I can make more generals, but horses cost money.
- Abraham Lincoln
The objection to Puritans is not that
they try to make us think as they do,
but that they try to make us do as they think.
- H. L. Mencken
I never make stupid mistakes.
Only very, very clever ones.
- John Peel
Anyone who thinks sitting in church
can make you a Christian must also think
that sitting in a garage can make you a car.
- Garrison Keillor
I always arrive late at the office,
but I make up for it by leaving early.
- Charles Lamb
I make it a policy to try never to
make a complete idiot of myself twice in the same way.
After all, there's always all kinds of new ways
to make a complete idiot of myself.
Why repeat the old ones?
- Margot Dalton
If you want to make peace with your enemy,
you have to work with your enemy.
Then he becomes your partner.
- Nelson Mandela
You don't have the power to make life "fair,"
but you do have the power to make life joyful.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Love one another but make not a bond of love.
Let it rather be a moving sea
between the shores of your souls.
- Khalil Gibran
What we think, we become.
All that we are arises with our thoughts.
With our thoughts, we make the world.
- The Buddha
Curiosity takes courage.
The most important promises are the ones you make to yourself.
Pay Attention.
Appreciate. Listen. Imagine.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
It is a good thing for an uneducated man to read books of quotations...
The quotations, when engraved upon the memory, give you good thoughts.
They also make you anxious to read the authors and look for more.
- Winston Churchill
If (s)he's an apple and you're an orange,
celebrate your differences -
make a great fruit salad.
Love isn't about being the same -
it's about being sweet with each other.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Make your "yes" mean yes,
and your "no" mean no.
- John Wooden
Humans make illogical decisions.
- Spock (character in Star Trek movies and TV shows)
God has given you one face, and you make yourself another.
- William Shakespeare
Don't make assumptions.
- don Miguel Ruiz
The goal of life is
to make your heartbeat match the beat of the universe,
to match your nature with Nature.
- Joseph Campbell
No amount of self-improvement can make up
for a lack of self-acceptance.
- Anonymous
Make a conscious choice to live
a serene and stress-free life.
Stress is always waiting just outside your door
like a vicious wild-dog.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.