Enter one or two keywords to search these Funny Quotes.

Hint: keep it simple, like life twain



Facebook share   Tweet This   Email this

Funny Quotes about Life
Funny Quotes about Life | Funny Love Quotes | Links | About
Search:   A-   B-   Ca-   Co-   D-   E-   F-   G-   H-    I-    J-K-L   M-   N-O   Pa-   Pr-   Q-R   Sa-   Sk-   T-   U-V-W-X-Y-Z

Funny Pets Quotes
Funny Quotes about Pets

Let these funny Pets Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

Parrots make great pets.
They have more personality than goldfish.
- Chevy Chase

The interesting thing about being a mother is that everyone wants pets,
but no one but me cleans the kitty litter.
- Meryl Streep

My father loved people, children and pets.
- Tony Visconti

I never married because there was no need.
I have three pets at home which answer the same purpose as a husband.
I have a dog which growls every morning,
a parrot which swears all afternoon,
and a cat that comes home late at night.
- Marie Corelli


 

The attitude we have towards our personal pets as opposed
to the animals that suffer under the factory farm is
hypocritical and delusional.
- James Cromwell

Pets are humanizing.
They remind us we have an obligation and responsibility
to preserve and nurture and care for all life.
- James Cromwell

I used to have some fish, some nice little carp,
but they got too big for the tank.
I don't have any pets now.
- Tom Felton


Get a Funny Quote of the Day each day by email or in your feed reader.

 Subscribe in a reader -- or
Enter your email address:




Delivered by FeedBurner


I don't have pets, I have two guard dogs;
and I don't do my own shopping; it's a security thing.
- Enya

It's difficult to understand why people don't realize
that pets are gifts to mankind.
- Linda Blair

Pets have more love and compassion in them than most humans.
- Robert Wagner

I had mice that I kept as pets when I was very young,
and I've always liked the way they look.
Even rats.
I'm not scared of them.
- Catherine Deneuve

I hate a word like "pets": it sounds so much Like something
with no living of its own.
- Elizabeth Jennings

I am from Brooklyn, NY, so we could not have many pets,
but I always had at least two dogs.
- Connie Stevens

Peeves do not make very good pets.
- Bo Bennett

I do not have any pets.
We travel too much.
- Nancy Kerrigan

I have had strange animals as pets all my life.
I was shy growing up, and shy people tend to interact
better with animals than people.
Animals are direct, not duplicitous.
- Yvonne Craig

People really do spend a lot of money on their pets -
sometimes more then themselves.
- Oksana Baiul

Every woman should have four pets in her life.
A mink in her closet, a jaguar in her garage,
a tiger in her bed, and a jackass who pays for everything.
- Paris Hilton

I really love pets.
They're like children.
They know if you really love them or not.
You can't fool them.
- Donna Douglas

Nothing gives me quite so much joy as when people tell
me they've had their pets spayed or neutered.
- Bob Barker

Pets, like their owners, tend to expand a little over the Christmas period.
- Frances Wright

I've always had a fascination for animals.
I loved watching them, and even then I thought of them
as beings rather than pets.
I call it a birth affect!
- Tippi Hedren

Of the seven experiments, the ones that have been most
investigated so far have been the pets.
The dogs who know when their masters for coming home,
and the sense of being stared at.
- Rupert Sheldrake

Ever consider what pets must think of us? I mean,
here we come back from a grocery store with the most amazing haul -
chicken,
pork, half a cow.
They must think we're the greatest hunters on earth!
- Anne Tyler

My mum loves cats so I took her to see the lion cubs
which at about a year old are actually quite big.
She wasn't scared at all and went straight over and kissed one on the mouth!
She thought they were just like her pets at home.
- Amanda Holden

I like people who are still actively creating in their life,
who aren't set, I don't feel like I'm set.
And I don't have any baggage, for better or worse.
I don't have any plants or pets or kids.
I can lock the door and go.
I need to be with somebody for whom that's okay.
- Dana Delany

When I was a child and teenager I read whenever I had the opportunity,
but since then I've found it hard to read as much as I'd like,
children, work, and pets all providing powerful incentives
to escape into a book and a practical reason why I rarely do so.
- Louise Brown

The world spends $40 billion a year on pet food.
- Nicholas D. Kristof

It's true, you can never eat a pet you name.
And anyway, it would be like a ventriloquist eating his dummy.
- Alexander Theroux

A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than you love yourself.
- Josh Billings

Like all pure creatures, cats are practical.
- William S. Burroughs

Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful.
- Ann Landers

Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole.
- Roger Caras

A kitten is chiefly remarkable for rushing about like mad at nothing whatever,
and generally stopping before it gets there.
- Agnes Repplier

Dogs laugh, but they laugh with their tails.
- Max Eastman

Kittens are wide-eyed, soft and sweet.
With needles in their jaws and feet.
- Pam Brown

There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face.
- Bern Williams

The problem with cats is that they get the exact same
look on their face whether they see a moth or an axe-murderer.
- Paula Poundstone

Cats are rather delicate creatures and they are subject
to a good many different ailments,
but I have never heard of one who suffered from insomnia.
- Joseph Wood Krutch

The average dog is a nicer person than the average person.
- Andy Rooney

Cat: a pygmy lion who loves mice, hates dogs,
and patronizes human beings.
- Oliver Herford

Cats are intended to teach us that not everything in nature has a purpose.
- Garrison Keillor

I'm looking more like my dogs every day -
it must be the shaggy fringe and the ears.
- Christine McVie

I've always been mad about cats.
- Vivien Leigh

The dog is the god of frolic.
- Henry Ward Beecher

Cats know how to obtain food without labor,
shelter without confinement, and love without penalties.
- W. L. George

Never stand between a dog and the hydrant.
- John Peers

A kitten is in the animal world what a rosebud is in the garden.
- Robert Southey

I had been told that the training procedure with cats was difficult.
It's not.
Mine had me trained in two days.
- Bill Dana

I have studied many philosophers and many cats.
The wisdom of cats is infinitely superior.
- Hippolyte Taine

Do not make the mistake of treating your dogs like
humans or they will treat you like dogs.
- Martha Scott

Cats don't like change without their consent.
- Roger Caras

Cats are inquisitive, but hate to admit it.
- Mason Cooley

It was so cold today that I saw a dog chasing a cat,
and the dog was walking.
- Mickey Rivers

Perhaps it is because cats do not live by human patterns,
do not fit themselves into prescribed behavior,
that they are so united to creative people.
- Andre Norton

People who keep dogs are cowards who haven't got the
guts to bite people themselves.
- August Strindberg

Animals are such agreeable friends -
they ask no questions; they pass no criticisms.
- George Eliot

I used to love dogs until I discovered cats.
- Nafisa Joseph

A happy arrangement: many people prefer cats to other people,
and many cats prefer people to other cats.
- Mason Cooley

I love cats.
- Dick Van Patten

Curiosity killed the cat, but for a while I was a suspect.
- Steven Wright

As anyone who has ever been around a cat for any length of time well knows,
cats have enormous patience with the limitations of the human kind.
- Cleveland Amory

Dogs are my favorite people.
- Richard Dean Anderson

There's just me and my wife and a dog and we feed him Healthy Choice also.
- Mike Ditka

We have three cats.
It's like having children, but there is no tuition involved.
- Ron Reagan

What a dog I got, his favorite bone is in my arm.
- Rodney Dangerfield

We've begun to long for the pitter-patter of little feet -
so we bought a dog.
Well, it's cheaper, and you get more feet.
- Rita Rudner

I have felt cats rubbing their faces against mine and
touching my cheek with claws carefully sheathed.
These things, to me, are expressions of love.
- James Herriot

I was a dog in a past life.
Really.
I'll be walking down the street and dogs will do a sort of double take.
Like, Hey, I know him.
- William H. Macy

Kittens can happen to anyone.
- Paul Gallico

Only very brave mouse makes nest in cat's ear.
- Earl Derr Biggers


Thank you for visiting: Funny Pets Quotes - Funny Quotes about Pets.

Please sign up on the form below to receive
my Free Daily Inspiration - Daily Quotes email.

You can also search my large collection of Funny Quotes.

May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Sign-up for your free subscription to my Daily Inspiration - Daily Quote email.

Your E-Mail Address:
Your Name:

To confirm your subscription, you must click on a link in the email being sent to you.

Each email contains an unsubscribe link. We will NEVER sell, rent, loan, or abuse your email address in ANY way.


Funny Quotes

 


All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.