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Let these funny Performed Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
Great works are performed not by strength,
but by perseverance.
- Samuel Johnson
Rights that do not flow from duty
well performed are not worth having.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
Failure does not exist.
Failure is simply someone else's opinion of how
a certain act should have been completed.
Once you believe that no act must be performed
in any specific other-directed way,
then failing becomes impossible.
- Wayne Dyer
To go against the dominant thinking of your friends,
of most of the people you see every day,
is perhaps the most difficult act of heroism you can perform.
- Theodore H. White
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Difference of opinion is advantageous in religion.
The several sects perform the office of a Censor -
over each other.
- Thomas Jefferson
No duty the Executive had to perform was so trying
as to put the right man in the right place.
- Thomas Jefferson
Loving is the most unmitigated
and courageous act I perform in a day.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
It is better to do one's own duty,
however defective it may be,
than to follow the duty of another,
however well one may perform it.
He who does his duty as
his own nature reveals it, never sins.
- Lao Tzu
A young man who does not have what
it takes to perform military service
is not likely to have what
it takes to make a living.
Today's military rejects include
tomorrow's hard-core unemployed.
- John F. Kennedy
There is no goodness in attempting to coerce
another person into performing a good deed.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Faithfulness in the performance of small duties
gives us strength to adhere to difficult determinations
that life will someday force us to make.
- Paramahansa Yogananda
Health is the greatest gift,
contentment the greatest wealth,
faithfulness the best relationship.
- The Buddha
I do not pray for success,
I ask for faithfulness.
- Mother Teresa
Be careful about reading health books.
You may die of a misprint.
- Mark Twain
The greatest wealth is health.
- Virgil
Happiness is nothing more than good health and a bad memory.
- Albert Schweitzer
The devil has put a penalty on all things we enjoy in life.
Either we suffer in health or we suffer in soul or we get fat.
- Albert Einstein
He who takes medicine and neglects his diet
wastes the skill of his doctors.
- Chinese Proverb
To keep the body in good health is a duty...
otherwise we shall not be able
to keep our mind strong and clear.
- The Buddha
The first wealth is health.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Healthy citizens are the greatest asset any country can have.
- Winston Churchill
Man needs difficulties; they are necessary for health.
- Carl Jung
An overfull calendar, like an overfull stomach,
is a consequence of taking on too much.
Commit, and eat, in moderation.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
What is called genius is the
abundance of life and health.
- Henry David Thoreau
The wish for healing has always been half of health.
- Lucius Annaeus Seneca
Know the best and highest choices for health
and more often choose those things.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
True friendship is like sound health;
the value of it is seldom known until it be lost.
- Charles Caleb Colton
Well-being is making its way to you at all times.
If you will relax and find a way to allow it,
it will be your experience.
- Abraham (Esther Hicks)
A man too busy to take care of his health is like
a mechanic too busy to take care of his tools.
- Spanish Proverb
If you have health, you probably will be happy,
and if you have health and happiness,
you have all the wealth you need, even if it is not all you want.
- Elbert Hubbard
The greatest force in the human body
is the natural drive of the body to heal itself -
but that force in not independent of the belief system.
Everything begins with belief.
What we believe is the most powerful option of all.
- Norman Cousins
Leave all the afternoon for exercise and recreation,
which are as necessary as reading.
I will rather say more necessary
because health is worth more than learning.
- Thomas Jefferson
Good humor is the health of the soul,
sadness is its poison.
- Lord Chesterfield
Every human being is the author of his own health or disease.
- The Buddha
Priorities - what's really important -
health, and doing what one wants to do -
it's certainly not money.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The awareness that health is dependent
upon habits that we control
makes us the first generation in history
that to a large extent determines its own destiny.
- Jimmy Carter
Health is the greatest possession.
Contentment is the greatest treasure.
Confidence is the greatest friend.
Non-being is the greatest joy.
- Lao Tzu
Lord, grant comfort, joy and health
to those I call friend,
to those I call enemy,
and to those I have cursed by my indifference.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
You are to have implicit confidence in your own ability,
knowing that it is the nature of thought
to externalize itself in your health and affairs,
knowing that you are the thinker.
- Ernest Holmes
The health of the eye seems to demand a horizon.
We are never tired, so long as we can see far enough.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Without health, life is not life;
it is only a state of languor and suffering -
an image of death.
- The Buddha
It is health that is real wealth,
and not pieces of gold and silver.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
He who has health has hope,
and he who has hope has everything.
- Anonymous
Peace, Love, Health, Comfort, Joy, and the Light of Spirit -
all the rest is nothing.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The secret of health for both mind and body
is not to mourn for the past,
nor to worry about the future,
but to live the present moment wisely and earnestly.
- The Buddha
My own gratitude list begins with health, family, friends,
and the beauty around me - from the butterflies and rainbows,
to the dolphins, to the birds, to the works produced by the human hand.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
To be a beneficial presence in the world,
cultivate a conscious awareness of your unity with Spirit.
Expect good in your own life.
Desire good for all others as well.
See and affirm abundant blessings of peace,
health, and plenty for everyone.
Align your thoughts with peace and happiness,
and realize that these qualities are your true nature.
- Kathy Juline
Our greatest happiness does not depend on the condition of life
in which chance has placed us,
but is always the result of a good conscience,
good health, occupation, and freedom in all just pursuits.
- Thomas Jefferson
Whenever you choose to carry resentment and hatred,
you are shouldering an immense burden that damages
your happiness, and often your health.
Does it matter that your resentment and hatred are "justified?"
Only you suffer - not the person you resent.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
To enjoy good health,
to bring true happiness to one's family,
to bring peace to all, one must first
discipline and control one's own mind.
If a man can control his mind
he can find the way to Enlightenment,
and all wisdom and virtue will naturally come to him.
- The Buddha
Life is an organic whole. The basic problems of the people -
poverty, ignorance, disease and civic inertia - interlock.
To address one problem, we must address all.
Hence our emphasis on an integrated program
of livelihood, education, health and self-government.
- Jimmy Yen
When we hate our enemies, we are
giving them power over us:
power over our sleep, our appetites,
our blood pressure, our health, and our happiness.
Our enemies would dance with joy if only
they knew how they were worrying us,
lacerating us, and getting even with us!
Our hate is not hurting them at all,
but our hate is turning our own days
and nights into a hellish turmoil.
- Dale Carnegie
Liberty is to the collective body,
what health is to every individual body.
Without health no pleasure can be tasted by man;
without liberty, no happiness can be enjoyed by society.
- Thomas Jefferson
Release your burdens - your fears, regrets,
guilts, shames, embarrassments, angers.
One by one, pick up each memory or fear that troubles you,
hold it close, and release it to the Universe.
Release each incident from your past that still bothers you.
Release each fear - your fears about your health,
your family, your job, and every other fear.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Prayer:
Lord God, Holy Spirit, Giver of All Light,
Bless and Keep All Those of This World.
Grant Us Your Peace, Your Light, Your Love.
Grant Us Complete Renewal of Body, Mind and Spirit -
Continual Rebirth in Newness of Life.
Let Your Light Shine Upon Us and Be Gracious to Us.
Grant to Each and Every One of Us:
Health, Comfort, Joy, Peace Within Ourselves,
Peace Within Our Families, Peace Within Our Communities,
and Peace among All those This World.
Grant That I May Be an Instrument of Thy Peace.
Grant That I May Radiate Thy Peace, Thy Light, Thy Love,
Thy Healing, Thy Comfort, Thy Joy,
to All Those Around Me and All Those in My Thoughts
This Day and Ever More. AMEN.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
There are nine requisites for contented living:
HEALTH enough to make work a pleasure;
WEALTH enough to support your needs;
STRENGTH enough to battle with difficulties and forsake them;
GRACE enough to confess your sins and overcome them;
PATIENCE enough to toil until some good is accomplished;
CHARITY enough to see some good in your neighbor;
LOVE enough to move you to be useful and helpful to others;
FAITH enough to make real the things of God;
HOPE enough to remove all anxious fears concerning the future.
- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
Suppose our gratitude could be zero-based gratitude.
With zero-based gratitude,
we would be grateful for everything we had each day -
regardless of whether it was more or less than yesterday.
With zero-based gratitude, I can be grateful for all the people,
the love, the food, the shelter, the services,
the health, that I am blessed with today,
regardless of what I had yesterday.
With zero-based gratitude,
I can be grateful each day for the gift of life itself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Be careful not to do your good deeds
when there's no one watching you.
- Tom Lehrer
A man can't be too careful in the choice of enemies.
- Oscar Wilde
A man is usually more careful of his money
than he is of his principles.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
I choose my friends for their good looks,
my acquaintances for their good characters,
and my enemies for their intellects.
A man cannot be too careful in the choice of his enemies.
- Oscar Wilde
Talent is God-given; be humble.
Fame is man-given; be thankful.
Conceit is self-given; be careful.
- John Wooden
There are three rules for dating:
1) Don't;
2) If you must, just be careful;
3) Forget the rules, your hormones will win anyway.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I was thinking that I might fly today.
Just to disprove all the things you say...
please be careful with me, I'm sensitive,
and I'd like to stay that way.
- Jewel
People in their handlings of affairs
often fail when they are about to succeed.
If one remains as careful at the end
as he was at the beginning,
there will be no failure.
- Lao Tzu
Pride comes in two flavors -
be careful which you choose -
choose honor, not ego.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
We are what we pretend to be,
so we must be careful what we pretend to be.
- Kurt Vonnegut
Be careful the friends you choose -
for you will become like them.
- W. Clement Stone
While you are proclaiming peace with your lips,
be careful to have it even more fully in your heart.
- St. Francis of Assisi
Be careful to leave your sons well instructed rather than rich,
for the hopes of the instructed
are better than the wealth of the ignorant.
- Epictetus
You got to be careful if you
don't know where you're going,
because you might not get there.
- Yogi Berra
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.