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Funny Performance Quotes
Funny Quotes about Performance

Let these funny Performance Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

Music, in performance, is a type of sculpture.
The air in the performance is sculpted into something.
- Frank Zappa

Music is a performance and needs the audience.
- Michael Tippett

Faithfulness in the performance of small duties
gives us strength to adhere to difficult determinations
that life will someday force us to make.
- Paramahansa Yogananda

Free speech is not to be regulated like diseased cattle and impure butter.
The audience that hissed yesterday may applaud today,
even for the same performance.
- William O. Douglas


 

It is much more difficult to measure nonperformance than performance.
- Harold S. Geneen

From George Washington to George W. Bush, presidents
have invoked God's name in the performance of their official duties.
- Linda Chavez

You go for the quality of the performance,
not the longevity of it.
- Don King


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If I were to play somebody who ran a fish and chip shop,
I would not work in a fish and chip shop for three months.
Staring at chips is not going to help me in my performance.
- Ben Kingsley

The negative is comparable to the composer's score
and the print to its performance.
Each performance differs in subtle ways.
- Ansel Adams

The most memorable performance was my appearance in
concert in Carnegie Hall.
The first standup to do so.
- Shelley Berman

Dance every performance as if it were your last.
- Erik Bruhn

To me, as long as we've known each other,
I've always thought Mick's most brilliant thing was
that he could work in an area two foot square and give
a very exciting performance.
- Keith Richards

The white audiences thought I was white,
my features being what they are, and at every performance
I'd have to take off my gloves to prove I was a spade.
- Ethel Waters

I wanted to make a classical piece that was actually designed to be a CD,
not designed for performance.
- Anne Dudley

That's a wonderful thing, because one of the primary
qualities of a good performance is honesty.
- Roberta Flack

I started using film as part of live theatre performance -
what used to be called performance art -
and I became intrigued by film.
- Mike Figgis

Written poetry is different.
Best thing is to see it in performance first,
then read it.
Performance is more provocative.
- Adrian Mitchell

An emotional performance is usually more instinctive to an actor.
- Alan Bates

The eating of burning brimstone is an entirely fake performance.
- Harry Houdini

Your performance gets you promoted.
It doesn't matter if you're brown, back or white.
- Geraldo Rivera

I accept that responsibility and ask only that I be
judged by my performance as its chief executive.
- Jane Byrne

Those that are most slow in making a promise are the
most faithful in the performance of it.
- Jean Jacques Rousseau

People should be judged on the basis of their performance,
not nationality, personality, education,
or personal traits and skills.
- Marvin Bower

Conductors don't suffer, they are part of the performance.
- Michael Tippett

The East Germans first used biomechanics.
This meant that rather than guessing about technique and form,
they could apply changes to athletic performance based on science.
- Bill Toomey

It is an immutable law in business that words are words,
explanations are explanations, promises are promises-but
only performance is reality.
- Harold S. Geneen

From the business point of view - not to overstate it -
intellectual property is dead; long live intellectual process.
Long live service; long live performance.
- Esther Dyson

Negative feedback effected amplifier performance significantly.
- Harold Stephen Black

My guess is many top athletes, distance runners included,
use performance-enhancing drugs, enough so that the problem must be tackled.
- Bill Rodgers

I made many studio albums and I think the danger of
studio recording is that if you do not watch out,
you come out with a perfectly sterile performance.
- Chuck Mangione

Drawing is giving a performance; an artist is an actor
who is not limited by the body,
only by his ability and, perhaps, experience.
- Marc Davis

To pay out millions upon millions of dollars in bonuses for incomplete work,
poor performance, and unacceptable products is the
height of government waste and mismanagement.
- Jim Gibbons

Before every performance, I think I am about to keel over.
- Brenda Blethyn

So that ends my first experience of matrimony,
which I always thought a highly over-rated performance.
- Isadora Duncan

The value of old age depends upon the person who reaches it.
To some men of early performance it is useless.
To others, who are late to develop, it just enables them to finish the job.
- Thomas Hardy

When you are new to the business, you think if you
give a really bad performance,
that's one they will print.
You will be judged.
You just have to be brave.
- Robbie Coltrane

I performed adequately at school, but in comparison to my older brother,
who set the record for the highest cumulative average for our high school,
my performance was decidedly mediocre.
- Steven Chu

If you take my performance or my understanding of the
role and my appreciation for story and then dress it in CGI,
that I guess becomes an action film.
- Vin Diesel

My best kiss was on stage.
Kelly Rowland from Destiny's Child gave me a really
nice soft kiss on my lips during a performance on my birthday.
It was amazing.
- Chris Brown

I like the energy of live performance.
- Sandra Bernhard

You have to channel the interpretation and performance into 100 people.
And with the audience, the critics.
- Riccardo Muti

The author himself is the best judge of his own performance;
none has so deeply meditated on the subject;
none is so sincerely interested in the event.
- Edward Gibbon

We gave up on the idea of trying to make the record
a good representation of the live performance.
- John Cale

The principle element in a performance is risk,
and if you're losing interest then by scaring yourself
to death the audience will feel it and boy it'll wake them up.
- Leo Kottke

Every superior personality, and every superior performance,
has, for the average of mankind, something mysterious.
- Georg Simmel

I am always more interested in performance and character depiction,
and my direction says as much.
- Lasse Hallstrom

It's about getting a more democratic Wales for the
purpose of improving our economic performance,
for improving the delivery of health care,
for raising educational standards.
- Ron Davies

I like working with an actor who doesn't do the oneupmanship.
One who has no trick and gives a true,
honest performance.
- Erik Estrada

The actor depends wholly on himself.
He gives his performance in what, to him,
seems the most effective manner.
- Bela Lugosi

A screen actor is compensated in the knowledge that
millions will see his performance at one time,
where only hundreds will see it on the stage.
- Bela Lugosi

When a performance isn't working, it's usually because
the actor is trying to do something and they're not
able to express their idea very well.
It's a muddled expression.
- Casey Affleck

We always had chocolates and my mother was careful
to make sure they were unwrapped in advance so the
paper wouldn't rustle in the middle of a performance.
- Penelope Keith

When we get the final hardware, the performance is just going to skyrocket.
- J Allard

Why do musicians give so much time to charitable causes?
The most humanitarian cause that we can give our time
to is the creation and performance of music itself.
- Billy Joel

Performance stands out like a ton of diamonds.
Nonperformance can always be explained away.
- Harold S. Geneen

Instinct taught me 20 years ago to pace a song or a concert performance.
That translates into pacing a story,
pleasing a reading audience.
- Jimmy Buffett

But now in this day and age, people are more prone
to go out to try new things to enhance their performance on the field -
to enhance their physical appearance.
- Bo Jackson

It's such a performance to bring stuff into America.
It's a great luxury when I am in England.
- Terence Stamp

I hated the whole idea of being an actress.
I used to throw up before every performance and cry afterward.
- Judy Holliday

I always wanted, and still aspire, to be something
more than just one thing,
just one performance.
- Kevin Bacon

For decades, the journalistic norm had been that the
private lives of public officials remained private
unless that life impinged on public performance.
- Roger Mudd

What the statesman is most anxious to produce is a
certain moral character in his fellow citizens,
namely a disposition to virtue and the performance of virtuous actions.
- Aristotle

The bulk of my set is instrumental and you have to
give yourself and the audience some relief because
a performance is not about great guitar playing it's
really about entertainment.
- Leo Kottke

I like the ephemeral thing about theatre,
every performance is like a ghost - it's there and then it's gone.
- Maggie Smith

One's performance is often heightened by the brilliance
and generosity of other actors.
- Cyril Cusack

And one of our points of continuing conversation with
our trading partners is the urgency of their taking
steps to remove barriers to their improved growth performance.
- John W. Snow

There is no better than adversity.
Every defeat, every heartbreak, every loss,
contains its own seed, its own lesson on how to improve
your performance the next time.
- Malcolm X

A good athlete always mentally replays a competition over and over,
even in victory, to see what might be done to improve
the performance the next time.
- Frank Shorter

The obsession with performance left no room for the
development of the intuitive or spiritual impact of
space and form other than the aesthetic of the machine itself.
- Arthur Erickson

Nutrition is also a valuable component that can help
athletes both protect themselves and improve performance.
- Bill Toomey

To vote is like the payment of a debt,
a duty never to be neglected, if its performance is possible.
- Rutherford B. Hayes


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