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Let these funny Percent Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
- Anonymous
Life is ten percent what happens to you
and ninety percent how you respond to it.
- Lou Holtz
Ninety-nine percent of who you are
is invisible and untouchable.
- R. Buckminster Fuller
Genius is one percent inspiration
and ninety-nine percent perspiration.
- Thomas Edison
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A democracy is nothing more than mob rule,
where fifty-one percent of the people
may take away the rights of the other forty-nine.
- attributed to Thomas Jefferson
We still do not know one thousandth of one percent
of what nature has revealed to us.
- Albert Einstein
Life is 10 percent what happens to me
and 90 percent how I react to it.
- Charles Swindoll
Ninety-nine percent of the failures
come from people who have the habit of making excuses.
- George Washington Carver
Eighty percent of success is showing up.
- Woody Allen
Choose your life's mate carefully.
From this one decision will come
90 percent of all your happiness or misery.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
You miss one hundred percent of the shots you don't take.
- Wayne Gretzky
The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life.
Attitude to me is more important than facts.
It is more important than the past, than education, than money,
than circumstances, than failures, than success,
than what other people think or say or do.
It is more important than appearance, gift, or skill.
It will make or break a company ... a church ... a home.
The remarkable thing is we have a choice every day
regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day.
We cannot change our past ...
we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way.
We cannot change the inevitable.
The only thing we can do is play on the string we have,
and that is our attitude.
I am convinced that life is 10 percent what happens to me
and 90 percent how I react to it.
And so it is with you ...
we are in charge of our attitudes.
- Charles Swindoll
"Look on my works, ye mighty, and despair!"
Nothing beside remains. Round the decay
Of that colossal wreck, boundless and bare,
The lone and level sands stretch far away.
- Percy Bysshe Shelley
If Winter comes, can Spring be far behind?
- Percy Bysshe Shelley
Fear not for the future,
weep not for the past.
- Percy Bysshe Shelley
And on the pedestal these words appear:
`My name is Ozymandias, King of Kings:
'Look on my works, ye mighty, and despair!'
Nothing beside remains. Round the decay
Of that colossal wreck, boundless and bare,
The lone and level sands stretch far away.
- Percy Bysshe Shelley
However beautiful the strategy,
you should occasionally look at the results.
- Winston Churchill
Look your best - who said love is blind?
- Mae West
When your friends begin to flatter
you on how young you look,
it's a sure sign you're getting old.
- Mark Twain
The invisible and nonexistent look much alike.
- Delos B. McKown
And you, Sonja, you look more beautiful
standing here than you do in person.
- the movie Love and Death (1975)
I am fond of pigs.
Dogs look up to us.
Cats look down on us.
Pigs treat us as equals.
- Winston Churchill
Far away there in the sunshine are my highest aspirations.
I may not reach them, but I can look up and see their beauty,
believe in them, and try to follow where they lead.
- Louisa May Alcott
Find a time and place of solitude.
Look into the distance, and into the future.
Visualize the tomorrow you are going to build -
and begin to build that tomorrow, today.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
What we see depends mainly on what we look for.
- John Lubbock
It is a good thing for an uneducated man to read books of quotations...
The quotations, when engraved upon the memory, give you good thoughts.
They also make you anxious to read the authors and look for more.
- Winston Churchill
The question is not what you look at, but what you see.
- Henry David Thoreau
Listen to the cry of a woman in labor at the hour of giving birth -
look at the dying man's struggle at his last extremity,
and then tell me whether something that begins and ends thus
could be intended for enjoyment.
- Soren Kierkegaard
Could a greater miracle take place
than for us to look through each other's eyes for an instant?
- Henry David Thoreau
I look only to the good qualities of men.
Not being faultless myself,
I won't presume to probe into the faults of others.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
Don't look for approval from anyone other than yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Shake structures.
School yourself.
Look twice at a thing,
once upside down.
Answer yourself clearly.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
Obstacles are like wild animals.
They are cowards but they will bluff you if they can.
If they see you are afraid of them...
they are liable to spring upon you;
but if you look them squarely in the eye,
they will slink out of sight.
- Orison Swett Marden
Only in the agony of parting do we look into the depths of love.
- George Eliot
If we are not happy and joyous at this season,
for what other season shall we wait and
for what other time shall we look?
- Abdul-Baha
Normally, we do not so much look at things as overlook them.
- Alan Watts
When you are sorrowful, look again in your heart,
and you shall see that in truth
you are weeping for that which has been your delight.
- Khalil Gibran
There are those that look at things
the way they are, and ask "Why?"
I dream of things that never were, and ask "Why not?"
- Robert F. Kennedy paraphrase of George Bernard Shaw
It is a mistake to look too far ahead.
Only one link in the chain of destiny
can be handled at a time.
- Winston Churchill
Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back
and realize they were the big things.
- Robert Brault
It all depends on how we look at things,
and not how they are in themselves.
- Carl Jung
Intuition will tell the thinking mind where to look next.
- Jonas Salk
Look at a day when you are supremely satisfied at the end.
It's not a day when you lounge around doing nothing;
it's when you've had everything to do, and you've done it.
- Margaret Thatcher
Anthropology demands the open-mindedness
with which one must look and listen,
record in astonishment
and wonder that which one would not have been able to guess.
- Margaret Mead
Where there is unconditional love,
there is no room for unhappiness.
Whenever I look in the mirror today,
I will say to myself: "That Is The Face Of God."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Your visions will become clear only
when you can look into your own heart.
Who looks outside, dreams;
who looks inside, awakes.
- Carl Jung
Look at this butterfly, so beautiful, so delicate.
I can enjoy this butterfly from a distance,
but if I touched her, she would die.
While not quite as delicate as butterflies,
people also need private space and private time
away from the demands of the world -
even away from the attentions of those
with whom they are most bonded.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I look forward to an America which
will not be afraid of grace and beauty.
- John F. Kennedy
Among the many misdeeds of the British rule in India,
history will look upon the act of
depriving a whole nation of arms as the blackest.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
Look well into thyself; there is a source of strength
which will always spring up if thou wilt always look there.
- Marcus Aurelius
When one door closes, another opens.
But often we look so long, so regretfully,
upon the closed door,
that we fail to see the one that is opened for us.
- Helen Keller
Do not look for approval
except for the consciousness of doing your best.
- Andrew Carnegie
Never look back unless you are planning to go that way.
- Henry David Thoreau
It seems that we have it backward in our society.
We tend to look up to people
who are under a great deal of stress,
who can handle loads of stress,
and those who are under a great deal of pressure.
- Richard Carlson
It all depends on how we look at things,
and not on how things are in themselves.
The least of things with a meaning
is worth more in life than the greatest of things without it.
- Carl Jung
I look for what needs to be done.
After all, that's how the universe designs itself.
- R. Buckminster Fuller
Look closely... See with new eyes...
Don't just pass by what is familiar without a thought.
Pay attention and look closely.
There is beauty - there is discovery -
there in a whole new world hiding
beneath the face of the familiar.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Look to be treated by others as you have treated others.
- Publilius Syrus
It is always wise to look ahead,
but difficult to look further than you can see.
- Winston Churchill
When it hurts to look back,
and you're scared to look ahead,
you can look beside you
and your best friend will be there.
- Anonymous
Make it a rule of life never to regret
and never to look back.
- Katherine Mansfield
I didn't want to marry anybody else in town.
I want my baby to look like you.
- It's a Wonderful Life (1946 movie)
If you look for the bad in people
expecting to find it, you surely will.
- Abraham Lincoln
All you have to do is look straight and see the road,
and when you see it, don't sit looking at it - walk.
- Ayn Rand
A man should look for what is,
and not for what he thinks should be.
- Albert Einstein
If you look into your own heart,
and you find nothing wrong there,
what is there to worry about?
What is there to fear?
- Confucius
Whatever happens, always look to tomorrow -
with courage and optimism.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Until you'll willing to look foolish,
you'll never have the possibility of being great.
- Cher
I look to a day when people will not be judged
by the color of their skin,
but by the content of their character.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
Change is the law of life.
And those who look only to the past or the present
are certain to miss the future.
- John F. Kennedy
When I look back on all these worries,
I remember the story of the old man who said on his deathbed
that he had had a lot of trouble in his life,
most of which had never happened.
- Winston Churchill
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.