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Let these funny Penny Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
A penny saved is a penny earned.
- Benjamin Franklin [attributed]
The jealous are troublesome to others,
but a torment to themselves.
- William Penn
Choose a friend as thou dost a wife,
till death separate you.
- William Penn
I expect to pass through this world but once.
Any good therefore that I can do,
or any kindness that I can show to my fellow-creature,
let me do it now.
Let me not defer or neglect it,
for I shall not pass this way again.
- William Penn
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For all sad words of tongue and pen,
The saddest are these, "It might have been.
- John Greenleaf Whittier
Some'll rob you with a six gun,
Some with a fountain pen.
- Woody Guthrie
Do you have a plan for your life?
If not, allocate some time today to sit quietly
with pen and paper to begin writing your life plan -
what you want to accomplish with your life,
and what projects will support your goals.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Life ... full of loneliness, and misery,
and suffering, and unhappiness,
and it's all over much too quickly.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall
It is sad but unfortunately true that
man learns nothing from history.
- Carl Jung
It is sad to grow old but nice to ripen.
- Brigitte Bardot
A relationship, I think, is like a shark.
You know? It has to constantly move forward or it dies.
And I think what we got on our hands is a dead shark.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall (1977)
I'm awash in self-contempt!
- the Woody Allen movie Celebrity
True friendship's laws are by this rule express'd,
Welcome the coming, speed the parting guest.
- Alexander Pope
One's first love is always perfect
until one meets one's second love.
- Elizabeth Aston
I never considered a difference of opinion
in politics, in religion, in philosophy,
as cause for withdrawing from a friend.
- Thomas Jefferson
All discarded lovers should be given a second chance,
but with somebody else.
- Mae West
Do you feel stuck?
Whether in a project, a job, a relationship,
or some other situation,
there is a time for perseverance,
and a time for letting go and moving on.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Morality is the theory that every human act
must be either right or wrong,
and that 99 % of them are wrong.
- H. L. Mencken
Write your Sad times in Sand,
Write your Good times in Stone.
- George Bernard Shaw
Some things will never seem adequate
no matter how hard we try.
- from the movie White Man's Burden
Feeling sorry for yourself, and your present condition,
is not only a waste of energy
but the worst habit you could possibly have.
- Dale Carnegie
Regrets are the tears of good deeds left undone
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
It is far better to be alone,
than to be in bad company.
- George Washington
Speak when you are angry -
and you will make the best speech you'll ever regret.
- Laurence J. Peter
Human salvation lies in the hands
of the creatively maladjusted.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
A true friend is one who
overlooks your failures
and tolerates your success.
- Doug Larson
A big part of letting go is recognizing
when it is time to stay in a situation
and when it is time to move on.
- Darren L. Johnson
I am a self-centered spoiled-rotten brat,
Thank you for nurturing me.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
A moment without joy is an eternity of sadness.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
It is a miracle that curiosity survives formal education.
- Albert Einstein
Most men lead lives of quiet desperation
and go to the grave with the song still in them.
- Henry David Thoreau
Ever has it been that love knows not its own depth
until the hour of separation.
- Khalil Gibran
Success is failure recycled.
Life is death reborn.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Love means not ever having to say you're sorry.
- Erich Segal
The way I see it, if you want the rainbow,
you gotta put up with the rain.
- Dolly Parton
Mind Chatter...
"I'm too fat; I'm too thin; and my hair is a fright;
And I'm never enough; and my world is not right;
I'm not smart; I'm not cute; I'm not strong; I'm a bust
I earn scorn; I earn hate; I'm no good; I disgust."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I believe that everything happens for a reason.
People change so that you can learn to let go,
things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they're right,
you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself,
and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.
- Marilyn Monroe
There is nothing more depressing,
than having everything,
and still feeling sad.
- Janet Jackson
Mama always said life was like a box of chocolates.
You never know what you're gonna get.
- the movie Forrest Gump
Our lives begin to end the day we become silent
about things that matter.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
I leave no trace of wings in the air,
but I am glad I have had my flight.
- Rabindranath Tagore
Those who own much have much to fear.
- Rabindranath Tagore
I seldom think about my limitations,
and they never make me sad.
Perhaps there is just a touch of yearning at times;
but it is vague, like a breeze among flowers.
- Helen Keller
Worry often gives a small thing a big shadow.
- Swedish Proverb
The darkest night is often the bridge to the brightest tomorrow.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
"Look on my works, ye mighty, and despair!"
Nothing beside remains. Round the decay
Of that colossal wreck, boundless and bare,
The lone and level sands stretch far away.
- Percy Bysshe Shelley
You're only here for a short visit.
Don't hurry. Don't worry.
And be sure to smell the flowers along the way.
- Walter Hagen
What's done is done.
- William Shakespeare
Life is as easy or as hard as you think it is.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
True love is a process of co-creation
in which neither feels ownership or superiority.
Jealousy is a highly destructive force
for love and relationships.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
When It's Darkest, Men See the Stars.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Farewell My Friend
It was beautiful as long as it lasted
The journey of my life.
I have no regrets whatsoever
save the pain I'll leave behind.
Those dear hearts who love and care...
And the strings pulling at the heart and soul...
The strong arms that held me up
When my own strength let me down.
At every turning of my life
I came across good friends,
Friends who stood by me,
Even when the time raced me by.
Farewell, farewell my friends
I smile and bid you goodbye.
No, shed no tears for I need them not
All I need is your smile.
If you feel sad do think of me
for that's what I'll like
when you live in the hearts
of those you love, remember then
you never die.
- Gitanjali Ghei
Distance cannot matter - ours is a friendship of the heart.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
Love does not claim possession, but gives freedom.
- Rabindranath Tagore
Self-pity in its early stages
is as snug as a feather mattress.
Only when it hardens does it become uncomfortable.
- Maya Angelou
In a separation it is the one
who is not really in love
who says the more tender things.
- Marcel Proust
When you feel worried and depressed,
consciously form a smile on your face and act upbeat
until the happy feeling becomes genuine.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Touch me in the morning
Then just walk away
We don't have tomorrow
But we had yesterday
- Ron Miller/Michael Masser
There is nothing more uncommon than common sense.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
There are three rules for dating:
1) Don't;
2) If you must, just be careful;
3) Forget the rules, your hormones will win anyway.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Being unwanted, unloved, uncared for, forgotten by everybody,
I think that is a much greater hunger,
a much greater poverty than the person who has nothing to eat.
- Mother Teresa
Those that want friends to open themselves unto
are cannibals of their own hearts.
- Francis Bacon
The tragedy of life is what dies inside a man while he lives.
- Albert Schweitzer
Jealousy is the result of one's lack
of self-confidence, self-worth, and self-acceptance.
- Sasha Azevedo
Time goes by a lot slower when you miss the one you love.
- Anonymous
Man knows so much and does so little.
- R. Buckminster Fuller
We take refuge in pride,
because we are afraid to tell the truth to ourselves.
- Kakuzo Okakura
Moving on is simple, it's what you leave behind
that makes it so difficult.
- Anonymous
Small people never learn to be indifferent;
they either envy or pity.
- Anonymous
TIME is poisonous construct of our rattlesnake minds.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Life is a Crazy-Quilt of Suffering and Joy.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.