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Let these funny Paralyzes Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
The only thing we have to fear is fear itself -
nameless, unreasoning, unjustified terror
which paralyzes needed efforts to convert retreat into advance.
- Franklin D. Roosevelt
Hatred paralyzes life; love releases it.
Hatred confuses life; love harmonizes it.
Hatred darkens life; love illumines it.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
What usually happens in the educational process is
that the faculties are dulled, overloaded, stuffed
and paralyzed so that by the time most people are mature
they have lost their innate capabilities.
- R. Buckminster Fuller
The man who says he is willing to meet you halfway
is usually a poor judge of distance.
- Laurence J. Peter
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Politicians and diapers need to be changed regularly,
usually for the same reason.
- Anonymous
A man is usually more careful of his money
than he is of his principles.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
What one has to do usually can be done.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
It is usually the imagination that is wounded first,
rather than the heart; it being much more sensitive.
- Henry David Thoreau
The best morale exist when you never hear the word mentioned.
When you hear a lot of talk about it, it's usually lousy.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
Trust your hunches. They're usually based on facts
filed away just below the conscious level.
- Joyce Brothers
Success usually comes to those
who are too busy to be looking for it.
- Henry David Thoreau
Great achievement is usually born of great sacrifice,
and is never the result of selfishness.
- Napoleon Hill
When you ask the wrong question,
you usually get a nonsense answer.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Don't take it personally -
it's not usually about you.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
Each of us is burdened by an unlimited number of
expectations (demands) that we hold for the actions of others.
We "know" that there is a right way to do things,
and are often outraged when our expectations are not met.
Usually, we are unaware that we merely
have a strong opinion and point-of-view,
and are sure that we know how everything is supposed to be.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The path to your own happiness is usually found in service.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Opportunities are usually disguised as hard work,
so most people don't recognize them.
- Ann Landers
Often, we get stuck on a question
for which we can't find an acceptable answer.
That is a good time to consider asking a different question.
Every question is based on some assumptions -
usually invisible assumptions that we don't see, unless we go looking.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Parents are usually more careful to bestow knowledge
on their children rather than virtue,
the art of speaking well rather than doing well;
but their manners should be of the greatest concern.
- R. Buckminster Fuller
It really does matter when we tell even the slightest untruth.
Even something as well intentioned as
telling someone their ill-finished
hair style looks wonderful will backfire -
certainly karmically, and usually practically.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
We all should choose our friends carefully.
I used to think that no one could know me better than somebody else,
because you're inside yourself, your body, you can't see yourself.
If you think like that, you surround yourself with
other people who are willing to tell you who you are,
which are usually judgmental people ...
we should really surround ourselves with the ones
that adore us and believe in the highest of us.
- Jewel
My ideas usually come not at my desk writing
but in the midst of living.
- Anais Nin
Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits
and then complain that he's not the man she married?
- Barbra Streisand
A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.
- W. C. Fields
A man wrapped up in himself makes a very small bundle.
- Benjamin Franklin
Whenever I date a guy, I think,
"Is this the man I want my children
to spend their weekends with?"
- Rita Rudner
Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend.
Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
- Groucho Marx
One cannot have everything the way he would like it.
A man has no business to be depressed by a disappointment,
anyway; he ought to make up his mind to get even.
- Mark Twain
A man is incomplete until he is married.
After that, he is finished.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor
He's the kind of man a woman would have to marry to get rid of.
- Mae West
One man's theology is another man's belly laugh.
- Robert A. Heinlein
Don't marry a man to reform him -
that's what reform schools are for.
- Mae West
A man is a fool if he drinks before he reaches the age of 50,
and a fool if he doesn't afterward.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
A man likes his wife to be
just clever enough to appreciate his cleverness,
and just stupid enough to admire it.
- Israel Zangwill
One man's remorse is another man's reminiscence.
- Ogden Nash
No man is truly married until he understands
every word his wife is NOT saying.
- Anonymous
Afraid? Me? A man who's licked
his weight in wild caterpillars?
Afraid? You bet I'm afraid!
- Groucho Marx
There are two times when a man doesn't understand a woman -
before marriage and after marriage.
- Anonymous
You never really know a man until you have divorced him.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor
In order to be happy with a man,
you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot
and not try to understand her at all.
- Helen Rowland
Marriages don't last. When I meet a guy,
the first question I ask myself is:
is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?
- Rita Rudner
Give a man one rabbit, and he will eat for a day;
give a man two rabbits, and he will
feed his family and his neighbors
and return you 64,768 rabbits in change.
- Anonymous
Do not marry a man to reform him.
That is what reform schools are for.
- Mae West
I am a man of fixed and unbending principles,
the first of which is to be flexible at all times.
- Everett Dirksen
I care not much for a man's religion
whose dog and cat are not the better for it.
- Abraham Lincoln
Barf: I'm a mog: half man, half dog. I'm my own best friend!
- the movie Spaceballs (1987)
Getting divorced just because you don't love a man
is almost as silly as getting married just because you do.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor
Men always want to be a woman's first love -
women like to be a man's last romance.
- Oscar Wilde
It's not as great a day for the bride as she thinks.
She's not marrying the best man.
- Anonymous
A man's friendships are, like his will,
invalidated by marriage -
but they are also no less invalidated
by the marriage of his friends.
- Samuel Butler
You can lead a man to Congress,
but you can't make him think.
- Milton Berle
If a man smiles all the time,
he's probably selling something that doesn't work.
- George Carlin
Too often the strong, silent man is silent only because
he does not know what to say, and is reputed strong
only because he has remained silent.
- Winston Churchill
Books serve to show a man
that those original thoughts of his
aren't very new at all.
- Abraham Lincoln
The civilized man has built a coach,
but has lost the use of his feet.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
A benevolent man should allow a few faults in himself,
to keep his friends in countenance.
- Benjamin Franklin
Man will occasionally stumble over the truth,
but most of the time he will pick himself up and continue on.
- Winston Churchill
A cynic is a man who, when he smells flowers,
looks around for a coffin.
- H. L. Mencken
A clever man commits no minor blunders.
- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
Man tends to treat all of his opinions as principles.
- Herbert Sebastian Agar
Two things a man should never be angry at:
what he can help,
and what he cannot help.
- Thomas Fuller
I like a man who grins when he fights.
- Winston Churchill
The man of science is a poor philosopher.
- Albert Einstein
Never stir up litigation.
A worse man can scarcely be found than one who does this.
- Abraham Lincoln
Give the right man two fishes and some bread,
and he will feed the world;
give the wrong man two fishes and some bread
and he will invent the fast-food fish sandwich.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I know that there are people who do not love their fellow man,
and I hate people like that!
- Tom Lehrer
It appears to be a law that you cannot have
a deep sympathy with both man and nature.
- Henry David Thoreau
Man's nature is not essentially evil.
Brute nature has been known to
yield to the influence of love.
You must never despair of human nature.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
A little girl at the wedding afterwards asked her mother
why the bride changed her mind.
What do you mean? responded her mother.
Well, she went down the aisle with one man,
and came back with another.
- Anonymous
Man's role is uncertain, undefined, and perhaps unnecessary.
- Margaret Mead
The reason why the world lacks unity,
and lies broken and in heaps,
is, because man is disunited with himself.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.