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Funny Orange Quotes
Funny Quotes about Orange

Let these funny Orange Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

If (s)he's an apple and you're an orange,
celebrate your differences -
make a great fruit salad.
Love isn't about being the same -
it's about being sweet with each other.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

California is a fine place to live -
if you happen to be an orange.
- Fred Allen

I'm here to tell you the coffee was hot,
the orange juice was cold, New York's still there and Reagan National is back.
- Jim Gilmore

Who wants an orange whip? Orange whip? Orange whip? Three orange whips.
- John Candy


 

I got up one Christmas morning and we didn't have nothing to eat.
We didn't have an apple, we didn't have an orange,
we didn't have a cake, we didn't have nothing.
- Muddy Waters

I think our show is very different from Orange County.
- Josh Schwartz

The revolution has been dubbed The Orange Revolution,
orange being the campaign color of Viktor Yushchenko.
The demonstrators say they are tired of living under a corrupt government.
- Bob Schaffer


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I'd worked in Clockwork Orange with Stanley Kubrick
and since Stanley was such a prestigious director this
opened all sorts of doors for me -
one of them being Star Wars.
- David Prowse

People do give me a hard time about my hair because
it's orange and it's big.
- Carrot Top

I play Orange County drums.
I love those guys.
I've got a four piece kit.
- Travis Barker

Come over here and sit on my knee and finish your orange juice.
- Sonny Liston

I have one of the most beautiful places in the world in Orange County.
That's a great place to live.
- Thomas Dooley

An orange on the table, your dress on the rug,
and you in my bed, sweet present of the present,
cool of night, warmth of my life.
- Jacques Prevert

There is no blue without yellow and without orange.
- Vincent Van Gogh

We pretended there was no problem with Agent Orange
after Vietnam and later the Pentagon recanted,
after untold suffering by veterans.
- Jim McDermott

From William of Orange to William Pitt the younger
there was but one man without whom English history
must have taken a different turn,
and that was William Pitt the elder.
- Albert Bushnell Hart

When you squeeze an orange, orange juice comes out -
because that's what's inside.
When you are squeezed, what comes out is what is inside.
- Wayne Dyer

I also read modern novels - I have just had to read
60 as I am one of the judges for the Orange Fiction Prize.
- Kate Adie

California is a great place to live if you're an orange.
- Fred Allen

In an organic system you don't waste anything.
We need to educate the consumer to accept a tiny blemish on an orange.
- Robert Patterson

Yes, there is a story about Agent Orange,
and we knew that it harmed our troops and we knew how
long it was to get the medical community to accept that,
the military to accept it, the VA to accept it.
- Christopher Shays

Beauty and the Beast seemed like it all was really brown.
The whole thing was just so brown and orange and yellow,
like Burger King or something.
I don't think I would have liked Beauty and the Beast at any age.
- Mike Judge

Try not thinking of peeling an orange.
Try not imagining the juice running down your fingers,
the soft inner part of the peel.
The smell.
Try and you can't.
The brain doesn't process negatives.
- Doug Coupland

As for now, we must not forget who would have to exchange
the land? those villages which live more than others on irrigation,
on orange and fruit plantations, in houses built near
water wells and pumping stations,
on livestock and property and easy access to markets.
- Moshe Sharett

George Lucas was casting about and had heard favourable
things about my work in Clockwork Orange and asked me to come in,
which of course I did even though no one knew what the film was about!
- David Prowse

One mustn't ask apple trees for oranges,
France for sun, women for love, life for happiness.
- Gustave Flaubert

I squeeze oranges every morning to make juice.
- Utada Hikaru

To compare the albums is like trying to compare apples and oranges.
- Josh Silver

The other was the best recovered in his condition;
and being now pretty well,
was appointed nurse to the rest of the sick.
Next to oranges, I thought the cyder had the best effects.
- James Lind

A jazz musician is a juggler who uses harmonies instead of oranges.
- Benny Green

I can't compare quarterbacks as apples and oranges
in my mind because everybody's in a different system.
- John Elway

The consequence was, that the most sudden and visible
good effects were perceived from the use of oranges and lemons;
one of those who had taken them,
being at the end of 6 days fit for duty.
- James Lind

It was indeed not very sound.
However, those who had taken it, were in a fairer way
of recovery than the others at the end of the fortnight,
which was the length of time all these different courses were continued,
except the oranges.
- James Lind

All over London as one walks, one everywhere,
in the season, sees oranges to sell;
and they are in general sold tolerably cheap,
one and even sometimes two for a halfpenny;
or,
in our money, threepence.
- Karl Philipp Moritz

Of this they drank half a pint every day,
and sometimes more or less, as it operated,
by way of gentle physic.
Two others had each two oranges and one lemon given them every day.
These they ate with greediness, at different times,
upon an empty stomach.
- James Lind

Second, when comparing private school and public school test scores,
it's like apples and oranges.
Public schools have to take everyone,
but private schools can be selective.
It's not accurate or fair to compare the job they do.
- Dennis Moore

I love being married.
It's so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- Rita Rudner

Be careful not to do your good deeds
when there's no one watching you.
- Tom Lehrer

If you are not one of us, you are one of them.
- the movie The Matrix (1999)

Damn it boss, I like you too much not to say it.
You've got everything except one thing: madness!
- the movie Zorba The Greek

I found there was only one way to look thin:
hang out with fat people.
- Rodney Dangerfield

When two people decide to get a divorce,
it isn't a sign that they "don't understand" one another,
but a sign that they have, at last, begun to.
- Helen Rowland

It is a truth universally acknowledged that
when one part of your life starts going okay,
another falls spectacularly to pieces.
- the movie Bridget Jones Diary

I did not have three thousand pairs of shoes,
I had one thousand and sixty.
- Imelda Marcos

If truth is beauty, how come no one has their hair done in the library?
- Lily Tomlin

One great thing about getting old is that
you can get out of all sorts of social obligations
just by saying you're too tired.
- George Carlin

I have six locks on my door all in a row.
When I go out, I lock every other one.
I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks,
they are always locking three.
- Elayne Boosler

One cannot have everything the way he would like it.
A man has no business to be depressed by a disappointment,
anyway; he ought to make up his mind to get even.
- Mark Twain

You're already a bastard.
Might as well be an enlightened one.
- the movie Simon Birch

One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends
is that three out of four murders
are committed by people who know the victim.
- George Carlin

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
- Lana Turner

One man's remorse is another man's reminiscence.
- Ogden Nash

I have a new philosophy.
I'm only going to dread one day at a time.
- Charles M. Schulz

You ask me if I keep a notebook
to record my great ideas.
I've only ever had one.
- Albert Einstein

Never argue at the dinner table, for the one who is not hungry
always gets the best of the argument.
- Voltaire

One good Husband is worth two good Wives;
for the scarcer things are, the more they're valued.
- Benjamin Franklin

Everyone should have at least two friends -
one to talk to and one to talk about.
- Anonymous

One man's folly is another man's wife.
- Helen Rowland

No one can have a higher opinion of you than I have,
and I think you're a slimy, contemptible sewer rat!
- the movie The Great Mouse Detective

You know, it takes two to get one in trouble.
- the movie She Done Him Wrong (1933)

If my films make one more person miserable,
I'll feel I have done my job.
- Woody Allen

Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before.
- Mae West

No one knows what's next, but everybody does it.
- George Carlin

One picture is worth 1,000 denials.
- Ronald Reagan

Love is the delusion that one woman differs from another.
- H. L. Mencken

Oh, if only God would give me some sign.
If He would just speak to me once. Anything.
One sentence. Two words. If He would just cough.
- the movie Love and Death

A James Cagney love scene is one where he lets the other guy live.
- Bob Hope

The reason there are two senators for each state is
so that one can be the designated driver.
- Jay Leno

A friend is someone who will bail you out of jail.
A best friend is the one sitting next
to you saying "boy was that fun."
- The Maugles

I have a love interest in every one of my films:
a gun.
- Arnold Schwarzenegger

There's a couple of things they don't teach you
in Harvard Business School,
one is how to cope with defeat,
the other is how to handle a shotgun.
- The Simpsons Movie (2007)


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- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.