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Let these funny Older Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
Old age is fifteen years older than I am.
- Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.
We did not change as we grew older;
we just became more clearly ourselves.
- Lynn Hall
Getting old is a fascination thing.
The older you get, the older you want to get.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
As you grow older you will discover that you have two hands.
One for helping yourself, the other for helping others.
- Audrey Hepburn
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The older I get, the more wisdom I find
in the ancient rule of taking first things first.
A process which often reduces
the most complex human problem to a manageable proportion.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
One of the greatest titles we can have is "old friend."
We never appreciate how important old friends are until we are older.
The problem is we need to start our old friendships when we are young.
We then have to nurture and grow those friendships over our middle age
when a busy life and changing geographies
can cause us to neglect those friends.
Today is the day to invest in those people
we hope will call us "old friend" in the years to come.
- Grant Fairley
The trick is growing up without growing old.
- Casey Stengel
Clear? Huh. Why a four-year-old child
could understand this report.
Run out and find me a four-year-old child,
I can't make head or tail of it.
- the Groucho Marx movie Duck Soup
A friend will tell you she saw your old boyfriend -
and he's a priest.
- Erma Bombeck
One great thing about getting old is that
you can get out of all sorts of social obligations
just by saying you're too tired.
- George Carlin
When your friends begin to flatter
you on how young you look,
it's a sure sign you're getting old.
- Mark Twain
Insanity runs in my family. It practically gallops.
- the movie Arsenic and Old Lace (1944)
It is sad to grow old but nice to ripen.
- Brigitte Bardot
Perhaps one has to be very old before one learns
to be amused rather than shocked.
- Pearl S. Buck
Computers are like Old Testament gods;
lots of rules and no mercy.
- Joseph Campbell
Every one desires to live long,
but no one would be old.
- Abraham Lincoln
Short words are best
and the old words, when short, are best of all.
- Winston Churchill
I'm saving that rocker for the day
when I feel as old as I really am.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
All diseases run into one - old age.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
You are Never Too Old to Give or Get Gold Stars.
Show Your Honest Appreciation - Today.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I want a girl just like good old mom,
who is different in every way.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
You are never too old to set another goal
or to dream a new dream.
- C. S. Lewis
We must be willing to get rid of the life we've planned,
so as to have the life that is waiting for us.
The old skin has to be shed before the new one can come.
- Joseph Campbell
We don't stop playing because we grow old;
we grow old because we stop playing.
- George Bernard Shaw
When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant
I could hardly stand to have the old man around.
But when I got to be 21, I was astonished
at how much the old man had learned in seven years.
- Mark Twain
I make it a policy to try never to
make a complete idiot of myself twice in the same way.
After all, there's always all kinds of new ways
to make a complete idiot of myself.
Why repeat the old ones?
- Margot Dalton
Where there's a will, there's a way.
- old English proverb
Youth, large, lusty, loving -
Youth, full of grace, force, fascination.
Do you know that Old Age may come after you
with equal grace, force, fascination?
- Walt Whitman
What old people say you cannot do,
you try and find that you can.
Old deeds for old people, and new deeds for new.
- Henry David Thoreau
Laugh, and the world laughs with you;
Weep, and you weep alone;
For the sad old earth must borrow its mirth,
But has trouble enough of its own.
- Ella Wheeler Wilcox
Every generation laughs at the old fashions,
but follows religiously the new.
- Henry David Thoreau
Forgiveness ... is the finishing of old business
that allows us to experience the present,
free of contamination from the past.
- Joan Borysenko
Peace is a daily, a weekly, a monthly process,
gradually changing opinions,
slowly eroding old barriers,
quietly building new structures.
- John F. Kennedy
To a philosopher all news,
as it is called, is gossip,
and they who edit and read it
are old women over their tea.
- Henry David Thoreau
And in the end, it's not
the years in your life that count,
it's the life in your years.
- Abraham Lincoln
Old age has deformities enough of its own.
It should never add to them the deformity of vice.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
Old deeds for old people, and new deeds for new.
- Henry David Thoreau
There is no subject so old that something new cannot be said about it.
- Fyodor Dostoyevsky
"Be Prepared."
"Be prepared for what?"
"Why, for any old thing."
- Robert Baden-Powell,
the founder of Scouting.
[as quoted in the Boy Scout Handbook]
As long as any adult thinks that he,
like the parents and teachers of old,
can become introspective,
invoking his own youth to understand
the youth before him,
he is lost.
- Margaret Mead
It is utterly false and cruelly arbitrary
to put all the play and learning into childhood,
all the work into middle age,
and all the regrets into old age.
- Margaret Mead
When men destroy their old gods,
they will find new ones to take their place.
- Pearl S. Buck
I always like to know everything about my new friends,
and nothing about my old ones.
- Oscar Wilde
As we grow old, the beauty steals inward.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Anyone who keeps the ability to see beauty, never grows old.
- Franz Kafka
No one should ever sit in this office over 70 years old,
and that I know.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
When I look back on all these worries,
I remember the story of the old man who said on his deathbed
that he had had a lot of trouble in his life,
most of which had never happened.
- Winston Churchill
It takes a long time to grow an old friend.
- John Leonard
Sometimes new love comes between old friends.
Sometimes the best love was the one that was always there.
- Anonymous
The best mirror is an old friend.
- Proverb
Grow old along with me, the best is yet to be.
- Robert Browning
An old friend will help you move.
A good friend will help you move a dead body.
- Jim Hayes
A man is not old until his regrets take the place of his dreams.
- Yiddish Proverb
Old is the new new.
- Anonymous
I can't understand why people
are frightened by new ideas.
I'm frightened of old ones.
- John Cage
A mind that is stretched by a new experience
an never go back to its old dimensions.
- Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.
He who would pass his declining years with honor and comfort,
should, when young, consider that he may one day become old,
and remember when he is old, that he has once been young.
- Joseph Addison
"Think simple" as my old master used to say -
meaning reduce the whole of its parts
into the simplest terms,
getting back to first principles.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
To be seventy years young is sometimes
far more cheerful and hopeful
than to be forty years old.
- Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.
It is one of the blessings of old friends
that you can afford to be stupid with them.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
To raise new questions, new possibilities,
to regard old problems from a new angle,
requires creative imagination and marks real advance in science.
- Albert Einstein
I awoke this morning with devout thanksgiving
for my friends, the old and the new.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
None are so old as those who have outlived enthusiasm.
- Henry David Thoreau
A friendship will be young after the lapse of half a century;
a passion is old at the end of three months.
- Madame Swetchine
Forgiveness is the cleansing fire
that burns away old regrets and resentments.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Ring out the old, ring in the new,
Ring, happy bells, across the snow:
The year is going, let him go;
Ring out the false, ring in the true.
- Alfred, Lord Tennyson
Often, the greatest joy is to be found not in new things,
but in old things seen through new eyes.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I have nothing new to teach the world.
Truth and Non-violence are as old as the hills.
All I have done is to try experiments
in both on as vast a scale as I could.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
That old law about "an eye for an eye" leaves everybody blind.
The time is always right to do the right thing.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
My coat and I live comfortably together.
It has assumed all my wrinkles, does not hurt me anywhere,
has moulded itself on my deformities,
and is complacent to all my movements,
and I only feel its presence because it keeps me warm.
Old coats and old friends are the same thing.
- Victor Hugo
Finish each day and be done with it.
You have done what you could;
some blunders and absurdities have crept in;
forget them as soon as you can.
Tomorrow is a new day;
you shall begin it serenely
and with too high a spirit
to be encumbered with your old nonsense.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.