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Let these funny Objects Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
I cannot imagine a God who rewards and punishes
the objects of his creation
and is but a reflection of human frailty.
- Albert Einstein
The creation of something new
is not accomplished by the intellect
but by the play instinct acting from inner necessity.
The creative mind plays with the objects it loves.
- Carl Jung
Peace and abstinence from European interferences are our objects,
and so will continue while the present
order of things in America remain uninterrupted.
- Thomas Jefferson
Communists have always played an active role
in the fight by colonial countries for their freedom,
because the short-term objects of Communism
would always correspond with
the long-term objects of freedom movements.
- Nelson Mandela
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In Art, man reveals himself and not his objects.
- Rabindranath Tagore
I will far rather see the race of man extinct
than that we should become less than beasts
by making the noblest of God's creation,
woman, the object of our lust.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
The moment a person forms a theory,
his imagination sees in every object
only the traits which favor that theory.
- Thomas Jefferson
I object to violence because
when it appears to do good,
the good is only temporary;
the evil it does is permanent.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
The care of human life and happiness, and not their destruction,
is the first and only object of good government.
- Thomas Jefferson
The object of education is to prepare the young
to educate themselves throughout their lives.
- Robert M. Hutchins
Not every difficult and dangerous thing
is suitable for training,
but only that which is conducive to success
in achieving the object of our effort.
- Epictetus
We all live with the objective of being happy;
our lives are all different and yet the same.
- Anne Frank
Like an Owl, I am Alert, Patient, and Objective.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
A designer is an emerging synthesis of artist, inventor,
mechanic, objective economist and evolutionary strategist.
- R. Buckminster Fuller
The objection to Puritans is not that
they try to make us think as they do,
but that they try to make us do as they think.
- H. L. Mencken
Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits
and then complain that he's not the man she married?
- Barbra Streisand
If you are not one of us, you are one of them.
- the movie The Matrix (1999)
Be careful not to do your good deeds
when there's no one watching you.
- Tom Lehrer
It's not the size of the dog in the fight,
it's the size of the fight in the dog.
- Mark Twain
Live life on the edge, not with an edge.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
"It's not that important,
don't worry about it" is the answer,
now what was the question?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
No man is truly married until he understands
every word his wife is NOT saying.
- Anonymous
Never argue at the dinner table, for the one who is not hungry
always gets the best of the argument.
- Voltaire
DON'T get officious.
You're not yourself when you're officious -
That is the curse of a government job.
- the movie Harold and Maude (1971)
The most important words in the English language
are not "I love you" but "It's benign."
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry
The key is, to not think of death as an end,
but as more of a very effective way to cut down on your expenses.
- the movie Love and Death
Mr. President, I'm not saying we wouldn't get our hair mussed.
But I do say no more than ten to twenty million killed, tops.
Uh, depending on the breaks.
- the movie Dr. Strangelove
In order to be happy with a man,
you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot
and not try to understand her at all.
- Helen Rowland
It's not the men in your life that counts,
it's the life in your men.
- Mae West, in the movie I'm No Angel
Be thankful we're not getting all the government we're paying for.
- Will Rogers
I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are missing.
- Anonymous
One does not leave a convivial party before closing time.
- Winston Churchill
Marriage is a fine institution -
but I'm not ready for an institution yet.
- Mae West
If at first you don't succeed,
skydiving is not for you.
- Anonymous
I'm not talking about lust.
A woman in lust wants chocolate.
A woman in love wants diamonds.
- the movie How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days
Do not marry a man to reform him.
That is what reform schools are for.
- Mae West
Women marry men hoping they will change.
Men marry women hoping they will not.
- Albert Einstein
Two things are infinite:
the universe and human stupidity;
and I'm not sure about the universe.
- Albert Einstein
It's not as great a day for the bride as she thinks.
She's not marrying the best man.
- Anonymous
Yeah I called her up. She gave me a bunch of ...
about me not listening to her, or something.
I don't know, I wasn't really paying attention.
- the movie Dumb & Dumber (1994)
Damn it boss, I like you too much not to say it.
You've got everything except one thing: madness!
- the movie Zorba The Greek
Personally, I'm always ready to learn,
although I do not always like being taught.
- Winston Churchill
Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love.
- Albert Einstein
Yield to temptation. It may not pass your way again.
- Robert A. Heinlein
I care not much for a man's religion
whose dog and cat are not the better for it.
- Abraham Lincoln
When you fish for love, bait with your heart, not your brain.
- Mark Twain
I'm not used to feeling so human.
Is it always like this?
- Edward, from Twilight Saga by Stephenie Meyer
I am always ready to learn
although I do not always like being taught.
- Winston Churchill
A ship in harbor is safe -
but that is not what ships are for.
- John A. Shedd
Although personally I am quite content with existing explosives,
I feel we must not stand in the path of improvement.
- Winston Churchill
Delusion: belief said to be false by someone who does not share it.
- Thomas Szasz
The rich are not born skeptical or cynical.
They are made that way by events, circumstances.
- Paul Getty
I want to be the white man's brother, not his brother-in-law.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
Though I am a servant, I am not your servant.
- Ursula K. Le Guin
It's not much of a tail, but I'm sort of attached to it.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)
Contrary to general belief,
I do not believe that friends are necessarily
the people you like best,
they are merely the people who got there first.
- Peter Ustinov
What sane person could live in this world and not be crazy?
- Ursula K. Le Guin
As far as the laws of mathematics
refer to reality, they are not certain,
and as far as they are certain,
they do not refer to reality.
- Albert Einstein
Adventure is not outside man; it is within.
- George Eliot
Confused Memories of Childhood:
Hate to my father, cruel hate,
confused with love - a mix not great.
The man I love - the man I hate;
the man I want to emulate.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Ending a sentence with a preposition is
something up with which I will not put.
- Winston Churchill
Am I not destroying my enemies
when I make friends of them?
- Abraham Lincoln
If you can not answer a man's argument,
all is not lost; you can still call him vile names.
- Elbert Hubbard
The existence of an anthropomorphic
"Father-figure" deity is not impossible,
merely exceptionally improbable and illogical.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
My advice to you is get married:
if you find a good wife you'll be happy;
if not, you'll become a philosopher.
- Socrates
The lawyer's truth is not Truth,
but consistency or a consistent expediency.
- Henry David Thoreau
The man who does not read good books
has no advantage over the man who cannot read them.
- Mark Twain
Do not use a hatchet to remove
a fly from your friend's forehead.
- Chinese Proverb
For those who do not think,
it is best at least to rearrange
their prejudices once in a while.
- Luther Burbank
Genius may have its limitations,
but stupidity is not thus handicapped.
- Elbert Hubbard
I am not young enough to know everything.
- Oscar Wilde
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.