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Funny Notable Quotes
Funny Quotes about Notable

Let these funny Notable Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

The politician in my country seeks votes,
affection and respect, in that order.
With few notable exceptions,
they are simply men who want to be loved.
- Edward R. Murrow

Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits
and then complain that he's not the man she married?
- Barbra Streisand PHOTO

It's not the size of the dog in the fight,
it's the size of the fight in the dog.
- Mark Twain PHOTO

Live life on the edge, not with an edge.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


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"It's not that important,
don't worry about it" is the answer,
now what was the question?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Be careful not to do your good deeds
when there's no one watching you.
- Tom Lehrer

If you are not one of us, you are one of them.
- the movie The Matrix (1999)


 

Mr. President, I'm not saying we wouldn't get our hair mussed.
But I do say no more than ten to twenty million killed, tops.
Uh, depending on the breaks.
- the movie Dr. Strangelove

When you fish for love, bait with your heart, not your brain.
- Mark Twain

One does not leave a convivial party before closing time.
- Winston Churchill

Yield to temptation. It may not pass your way again.
- Robert A. Heinlein

It's not as great a day for the bride as she thinks.
She's not marrying the best man.
- Anonymous

Damn it boss, I like you too much not to say it.
You've got everything except one thing: madness!
- the movie Zorba The Greek

In order to be happy with a man,
you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot
and not try to understand her at all.
- Helen Rowland

Never argue at the dinner table, for the one who is not hungry
always gets the best of the argument.
- Voltaire

If at first you don't succeed,
skydiving is not for you.
- Anonymous

DON'T get officious.
You're not yourself when you're officious -
That is the curse of a government job.
- the movie Harold and Maude (1971)

It's not the men in your life that counts,
it's the life in your men.
- Mae West, in the movie I'm No Angel

Do not marry a man to reform him.
That is what reform schools are for.
- Mae West

Be thankful we're not getting all the government we're paying for.
- Will Rogers

The key is, to not think of death as an end,
but as more of a very effective way to cut down on your expenses.
- the movie Love and Death

Personally, I'm always ready to learn,
although I do not always like being taught.
- Winston Churchill

Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love.
- Albert Einstein

Women marry men hoping they will change.
Men marry women hoping they will not.
- Albert Einstein

Yeah I called her up. She gave me a bunch of ...
about me not listening to her, or something.
I don't know, I wasn't really paying attention.
- the movie Dumb & Dumber (1994)

I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are missing.
- Anonymous

I'm not used to feeling so human.
Is it always like this?
- Edward, from Twilight Saga by Stephenie Meyer

I care not much for a man's religion
whose dog and cat are not the better for it.
- Abraham Lincoln

I'm not talking about lust.
A woman in lust wants chocolate.
A woman in love wants diamonds.
- the movie How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days

The most important words in the English language
are not "I love you" but "It's benign."
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry

Marriage is a fine institution -
but I'm not ready for an institution yet.
- Mae West

No man is truly married until he understands
every word his wife is NOT saying.
- Anonymous

Two things are infinite:
the universe and human stupidity;
and I'm not sure about the universe.
- Albert Einstein

My advice to you is get married:
if you find a good wife you'll be happy;
if not, you'll become a philosopher.
- Socrates

For those who do not think,
it is best at least to rearrange
their prejudices once in a while.
- Luther Burbank

Although personally I am quite content with existing explosives,
I feel we must not stand in the path of improvement.
- Winston Churchill

If you ask me anything I don't know,
I'm not going to answer.
- Yogi Berra

We are finally driven to monogamy
not by morality but by exhaustion.
- Erica Jong

The trouble with the world is not
that people know too little,
but that they know so many things that ain't so.
- Mark Twain

The lawyer's truth is not Truth,
but consistency or a consistent expediency.
- Henry David Thoreau

Though I am a servant, I am not your servant.
- Ursula K. Le Guin

Delusion: belief said to be false by someone who does not share it.
- Thomas Szasz

Do not use a hatchet to remove
a fly from your friend's forehead.
- Chinese Proverb

A loyal friend laughs at your jokes
when they're not so good,
and sympathizes with your problems
when they're not so bad.
- Arnold H. Glasgow

I am not young enough to know everything.
- Oscar Wilde

There is no pleasure in having nothing to do;
the fun is in having lots to do and not doing it.
- Mary Wilson Little

When dealing with people, remember you are
not dealing with creatures of logic,
but creatures of emotion.
- Dale Carnegie

Too often the strong, silent man is silent only because
he does not know what to say, and is reputed strong
only because he has remained silent.
- Winston Churchill

I know that there are people who do not love their fellow man,
and I hate people like that!
- Tom Lehrer

Do not take life too seriously.
You will never get out of it alive.
- Elbert Hubbard

There is no use whatsoever trying to help
people who do not help themselves.
You cannot push anyone up a ladder
unless he is willing to climb himself.
- Andrew Carnegie

One minute you're in the lunchroom at Glenwood High
and you ... blink and you're 40,
you blink again and you can see movies
at half price on a senior citizen's pass.
Ask not for whom the bell tolls, or to put it more accurately,
ask not for whom the toilet flushes.
- the Woody Allen movie Celebrity

The man who does not read good books
has no advantage over the man who cannot read them.
- Mark Twain

Do not bite at the bait of pleasure,
till you know there is no hook beneath it.
- Thomas Jefferson

Faith: not wanting to know what is true.
- Friedrich Nietzsche

The person who says it cannot be done
should not interrupt the person who is doing it.
- Chinese proverb

A ship in harbor is safe -
but that is not what ships are for.
- John A. Shedd

Confused Memories of Childhood:
Hate to my father, cruel hate,
confused with love - a mix not great.
The man I love - the man I hate;
the man I want to emulate.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

For centuries, theologians have been explaining
the unknowable in terms of the-not-worth-knowing.
- H. L. Mencken

Ending a sentence with a preposition is
something up with which I will not put.
- Winston Churchill

I do not believe in using women in combat,
because females are too fierce.
- Margaret Mead

The existence of an anthropomorphic
"Father-figure" deity is not impossible,
merely exceptionally improbable and illogical.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The objection to Puritans is not that
they try to make us think as they do,
but that they try to make us do as they think.
- H. L. Mencken

I think that there is nothing, not even crime,
more opposed to poetry, to philosophy, ay, to life itself
than this incessant business.
- Henry David Thoreau

The church is always trying to get other people to reform;
it might not be a bad idea to reform itself a little,
by way of example.
- Mark Twain

As far as the laws of mathematics
refer to reality, they are not certain,
and as far as they are certain,
they do not refer to reality.
- Albert Einstein

Only two things are infinite,
the universe and human stupidity,
and I'm not sure about the former.
- Albert Einstein

If Christ were here now there is one thing
he would not be - a Christian.
- Mark Twain

Do not speak to me of rules.
This is war! This is not a game of cricket!
- from the movie The Bridge On The River Kwai

The wine of youth does not always
clear with advancing years;
sometimes it grows turbid.
- Carl Jung

Feeling sorry for yourself, and your present condition,
is not only a waste of energy
but the worst habit you could possibly have.
- Dale Carnegie


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


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