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Let these funny Nose Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
First, wash all car. Then wax. Wax on...
Wax on, right hand. Wax off, left hand. Wax on, wax off.
Breathe in through nose, out the mouth. Wax on, wax off.
Don't forget to breathe, very important.
- Miyagi: character in the movie Karate Kid
Don't go around saying the world owes you a living;
the world owes you nothing; it was here first.
- Mark Twain 
The first sigh of love is the last breath of wisdom.
- Anonymous
When I eventually met Mr. Right
I had no idea that his first name was Always.
- Rita Rudner
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If at first you don't succeed,
skydiving is not for you.
- Anonymous
If he's first class, I'm traveling steerage.
- the movie Libeled Lady (1936)
I am a man of fixed and unbending principles,
the first of which is to be flexible at all times.
- Everett Dirksen
When I first saw you, I thought you were handsome.
Then, of course, you spoke.
- the movie As Good As It Gets (1997)
Marriages don't last. When I meet a guy,
the first question I ask myself is:
is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?
- Rita Rudner
Men always want to be a woman's first love -
women like to be a man's last romance.
- Oscar Wilde
Get the facts first.
You can distort them later.
- Mark Twain
I don't know which will go first - rock 'n' roll or Christianity.
- John Lennon
Those who have free seats at a play hiss first.
- Chinese Proverb
Smile first thing in the morning. Get it over with.
- W. C. Fields
The only true love is love at first sight;
second sight dispels it.
- Israel Zangwill
The physician can bury his mistakes,
but the architect can only advise his client to plant vines -
so they should go as far as possible from home
to build their first buildings.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
We're more popular than Jesus now;
I don't know which will go first, rock 'n' roll or Christianity.
- John Lennon
One's first love is always perfect
until one meets one's second love.
- Elizabeth Aston
Life is uncertain; always eat dessert first.
- Anonymous
If at first you don't succeed,
try, try, and try again.
Then give up.
There's no use being a damned fool about it.
- W. C. Fields
Contrary to general belief,
I do not believe that friends are necessarily
the people you like best,
they are merely the people who got there first.
- Peter Ustinov
There are two kinds of people,
those who do the work,
and those who take the credit.
Try to be in the first group;
there is less competition there.
- Indira Gandhi
Many a man owes his success to his first wife
and his second wife to his success.
- Jim Backus
After the first blush of sin, comes its indifference.
- Henry David Thoreau
There are four stages in a marriage.
First there's the affair,
then the marriage,
then children
and finally the fourth stage,
without which you cannot know a woman, the divorce.
- Norman Mailer
Getting fired is nature's way to telling you
that you had the wrong job in the first place.
- Hal Lancaster
Christianity will go. It will vanish and shrink.
I needn't argue with that; I'm right and I will be proved right.
We're more popular than Jesus now;
I don't know which will go first - rock and roll or Christianity.
- John Lennon
Seek first to understand,
then to be understood.
- Stephen Covey
Today is the first day of the rest of your life.
- Anonymous
To climb steep hills requires a slow pace at first.
- William Shakespeare
Tolerance is the first principle of community;
it is the spirit which conserves
the best that all men think.
- Helen Keller
Belief is a virus, and once it gets into you,
its first order of business is to preserve itself,
and the way it preserves itself
is to keep you from having any doubts,
and the way it keeps you from doubting
is to blind you to the way things really are.
- Philip Caputo
Apathy, indifference, not caring...
It may sound insensitive for me to say, "I don't care,"
but ask first to what I am indifferent.
I choose to be caring, compassionate
and kind toward all people,
and I also choose to be indifferent to gossip,
petty complaints, and idle chatter.
About those, I just don't care.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Always be a first-rate version of yourself,
instead of a second-rate version of somebody else.
- Judy Garland
Faith is taking the first step,
even when you don't see the whole staircase.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
All things at first appear difficult.
- Chinese proverb
When we step on the battlefield, I will be
The First Boots On and the Last Boots Off.
- LtG. Hal Moore
Take a deep breath and do the difficult thing first.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
First they ignore you, then they laugh at you,
then they fight you, then you win.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
BERLIN: PROCLAMATION TO THE GERMAN NATION FEBRUARY 1, 1933
The National Government will regard it as its first and foremost duty
to revive in the nation the spirit of unity and co-operation.
It will preserve and defend those basic principles
on which our nation has been built.
It regards Christianity as the foundation of our national morality,
and the family as the basis of national life....
- Adolf Hitler
Lovers who have been left, lose confidence and become afraid.
They learn to leave relationships first.
The broken hearted become the heart breakers.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Experience is a hard teacher.
She gives the test first
and the lessons afterwards.
- Anonymous
Okay, here's your first lesson: how to take a FALL!
- the movie Karate Kid
Give thanks for the rainbows, for the butterflies,
for all God's creatures - large and small,
for the bright blue sky and the soft fog and the gentle rain,
for the tree veiled in the season's first frost,
for the baby's laugh, for the touch of a hand
and the whispered "I love you."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The first quality that is needed is audacity.
- Winston Churchill
During the first period of a man's life
the greatest danger is not to take the risk.
- Soren Kierkegaard
You grow up the day you have
your first real laugh - at yourself.
- Ethel Barrymore
A little simplification would be
the first step toward rational living.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
Do first things first, and second things not at all.
- Peter F. Drucker
It is the first law of friendship
that it has to be cultivated.
The second is to be indulgent
when the first law is neglected.
- Voltaire
The first principle is that you must not fool yourself -
and you are the easiest person to fool.
- Richard Feynman
Life ... is like a parachute jump:
you have to get it right the first time.
- Margaret Mead
Our "Rainbows and Butterflies" are the small miracles of our life -
the little things that are so easy to overlook,
yet so awe inspiring when we take a moment
to notice and to pay attention.
Give thanks for the rainbows, for the butterflies,
for all God's creatures - large and small,
for the bright blue sky and the soft fog and the gentle rain,
for the tree veiled in the season's first frost,
for the baby's laugh,
for the touch of a hand and the whispered "I love you."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Non-violence is the first article of my faith.
It is also the last article of my creed.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
The secret of getting ahead is getting started.
The secret of getting started is
breaking your complex overwhelming tasks
into small manageable tasks,
and starting on the first one.
- Mark Twain
If we could first know where we are,
and whither we are tending,
we could then better judge what to do,
and how to do it.
- Abraham Lincoln
The indispensable first step to getting
the things you want out of life is this:
Decide what you want.
- Ben Stein
Be gentle first with yourself -
if you wish to be gentle with others.
- Lama Yeshe
The care of human life and happiness, and not their destruction,
is the first and only object of good government.
- Thomas Jefferson
Know first that you have absolutely no power to change the world,
and then address all your energies and intent toward improving it.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Let every day be the first day
of the rest of your life,
but especially let today be a new beginning.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
There are two things to aim at in life:
first, to get what you want,
and after that to to enjoy it.
- Logan Pearsall Smith
First learn the meaning of what you say, and then speak.
- Epictetus
It's all right for a woman to be, above all, human.
I am a woman first of all.
- Anais Nin
Whatever America hopes to bring to pass in the world
must first come to pass in the heart of America.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
Recognizing my blindness is the first step
toward regaining my sight.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Be gentle first with yourself.
- Lama Yeshe
Every really new idea looks crazy at first.
- Alfred North Whitehead
All truth passes through three stages:
First, it is ridiculed;
Second, it is violently opposed;
Third, it is accepted as self-evident.
- Arthur Schopenhauer
A leader is not one who says, "Follow me."
A leader is one who says, "I'll go first."
- Neale Donald Walsch
If you would take, you must first give,
this is the beginning of intelligence.
- Lao Tzu
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.