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Funny Non Quotes
Funny Quotes about Non

Let these funny Non Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
- George Carlin

Our honorable and worthy ancestors knew that the world was flat,
motionless, and the center of the universe.
They knew the human body could not withstand
the forces of traveling faster than 19 mph.
They knew that the way to salvation was
exorcising witches and slaying non-believers.
They knew that it was a mortal sin to marry
someone of a different skin color.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

"I" is a non-stop storyteller, spinning tales
of the past, the present and the future -
constantly editing, interpreting
and directing this inner movie.
- Josh Baran

Non-violence is a powerful and just weapon which cuts without wounding
and ennobles the man who wields it. It is a sword that heals.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.


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If co-operation is a duty, I hold that non-co-operation
also under certain conditions is equally a duty.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

I have nothing new to teach the world.
Truth and Non-violence are as old as the hills.
All I have done is to try experiments
in both on as vast a scale as I could.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Non-violence means avoiding not only external physical violence
but also internal violence of spirit.
You not only refuse to shoot a man,
but you refuse to hate him.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.


 

Besides the noble art of getting things done,
there is the noble art of leaving things undone.
The wisdom of life consists in the elimination of non-essentials.
- Lin Yutang

The moment you start seeing life
as non-serious, a playfulness,
all the burden on your heart disappears.
All the fear of death, of life,
of love - everything disappears.
- Osho

Non-violence is the article of faith.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Non-cooperation with evil is as much a duty as is cooperation with good.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Non-violence requires a double faith,
faith in God and also faith in man.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

A weak man is just by accident.
A strong but non-violent man is unjust by accident.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

The Tao of the sage is work without effort.
Practice non-action. Work without doing.
- Lao Tzu

Non-violence is not a garment to be put on and off at will.
Its seat is in the heart,
and it must be an inseparable part of our being.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Practice moment to moment non-judgemental awareness.
- Jon Kabat-Zinn

Anger is the enemy of non-violence
and pride is a monster that swallows it up.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

My religion is based on truth and non-violence.
Truth is my God. Non-violence is the means of realizing Him.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Non-violence is the greatest force at the disposal of mankind.
It is mightier than the mightiest weapon of destruction
devised by the ingenuity of man.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

The Tao abides in non-action,
Yet nothing is left undone.
- Lao Tzu

At the center of non-violence stands the principle of love.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

Non-violence, which is the quality of the heart,
cannot come by an appeal to the brain.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

When I find that I can't accept what is happening,
I turn my attention to accepting my non-acceptance.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Health is the greatest possession.
Contentment is the greatest treasure.
Confidence is the greatest friend.
Non-being is the greatest joy.
- Lao Tzu

Non-violence is the first article of my faith.
It is also the last article of my creed.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Non-violence and truth are inseparable and presuppose one another.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Simply put, mindfulness is moment-to-moment non-judgmental awareness.
- Jon Kabat-Zinn

Mindfulness means paying attention in a particular way:
on purpose, in the present moment, and non-judgmentally.
- Jon Kabat-Zinn

Anger is something that each one of us has experienced -
some of us only occasionally, some almost daily.
Can we eliminate all anger? Probably not.
We will always have expectations,
and those expectations will often be unmet.
Disappointment is the principle cause of anger.
When we are disappointed, we look for someone to blame.
Declaring someone to be at fault is the nature of anger.
Anger is always directed at someone -
possibly toward God or the non-specific "they,"
but at some animate entity.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Be careful not to do your good deeds
when there's no one watching you.
- Tom Lehrer

No one can have a higher opinion of you than I have,
and I think you're a slimy, contemptible sewer rat!
- the movie The Great Mouse Detective

Oh no, I can't do anything to the death.
Doctor's orders. You see, I have this ulcer condition,
and death is the worst thing for it.
- the movie Love and Death

A honeymoon should be like a table:
four bare legs and no drawers.
- Anonymous

And you just gotta remember, Sparky -
no matter what they tell you - you can NEVER have too much sugar.
- the movie Michael (1996)

Television has a real problem. They have no page two.
- Art Buchwald

One cannot have everything the way he would like it.
A man has no business to be depressed by a disappointment,
anyway; he ought to make up his mind to get even.
- Mark Twain

I have no fear of the gallows ... They're going to shoot me.
- the movie Love and Death

No matter how much cats fight,
there always seem to be plenty of kittens.
- Abraham Lincoln

There's no reason to become alarmed,
and we hope you'll enjoy the rest of your flight.
By the way, is there anyone on board who knows how to fly a plane?
- the movie Airplane!

Fat, drunk, and stupid is no way to go through life, son.
- the movie National Lampoon's Animal House (1978)

No man is truly married until he understands
every word his wife is NOT saying.
- Anonymous

No one knows what's next, but everybody does it.
- George Carlin

Mr. President, I'm not saying we wouldn't get our hair mussed.
But I do say no more than ten to twenty million killed, tops.
Uh, depending on the breaks.
- the movie Dr. Strangelove

Marriage has no guarantees.
If that's what you're looking for,
go live with a car battery.
- Erma Bombeck

When I eventually met Mr. Right
I had no idea that his first name was Always.
- Rita Rudner

A man's friendships are, like his will,
invalidated by marriage -
but they are also no less invalidated
by the marriage of his friends.
- Samuel Butler

There is no use whatsoever trying to help
people who do not help themselves.
You cannot push anyone up a ladder
unless he is willing to climb himself.
- Andrew Carnegie

An excellent man;
he has no enemies;
and none of his friends like him.
- Oscar Wilde

He who loves 50 people has 50 woes;
he who loves no one has no woes.
- The Buddha

The most difficult phase of life
is not when no one understands you,
it is when you don't understand yourself.
- Anonymous

I am no longer young enough to know everything.
- Oscar Wilde

I begin with the principle that all men are bores.
Surely no one will prove himself
so great a bore as to contradict me in this.
- Soren Kierkegaard

If at first you don't succeed,
try, try, and try again.
Then give up.
There's no use being a damned fool about it.
- W. C. Fields

Clothes make the man.
Naked people have little or no influence on society.
- Mark Twain

Less is only more where more is no good.
- Frank Lloyd Wright

I find that principles have no real force
except when one is well fed.
- Mark Twain

When all think alike, no one is thinking very much.
- Walter Lippmann

The worst government is often the most moral.
One composed of cynics is often very tolerant and humane.
But when fanatics are on top there is no limit to oppression.
- H. L. Mencken

The universe we observe has precisely
the properties we should expect
if there is, at bottom, no design,
no purpose, no evil, no good,
nothing but blind, pitiless indifference.
- Charles Darwin

Against logic there is no armor like ignorance.
- Laurence J. Peter

The way to silence religious disputes is to take no notice of them.
- Thomas Jefferson

Early in life I had to choose between honest arrogance
and hypocritical humility.
I chose the former and have seen no reason to change.
- Frank Lloyd Wright

Do not bite at the bait of pleasure,
till you know there is no hook beneath it.
- Thomas Jefferson

Some people are so heavenly minded
that they are no earthly good.
- Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.

The fear of death is the most unjustified of all fears,
for there's no risk of accident for someone who's dead.
- Albert Einstein

The man who does not read good books
has no advantage over the man who cannot read them.
- Mark Twain

Some things will never seem adequate
no matter how hard we try.
- from the movie White Man's Burden

It's not the men in your life that counts,
it's the life in your men.
- Mae West, in the movie I'm No Angel

Experience keeps a dear school,
but fools will learn in no other.
- Benjamin Franklin

In theory there is no difference between theory and practice.
In practice there is.
- Yogi Berra

I once had a rose named after me
and I was very flattered.
But I was not pleased to read
the description in the catalogue:
no good in a bed, but fine up against a wall.
- Eleanor Roosevelt


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


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