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Let these funny Murder Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
Character is always known.
Thefts never enrich;
alms never impoverish;
murder will speak out of stone walls.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
It is my conviction that killing under the cloak of war
is nothing but an act of murder.
- Albert Einstein
One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends
is that three out of four murders
are committed by people who know the victim.
- George Carlin
Do feuds ever end?
Only when both sides shake hands,
and agree that there is no winner, no loser,
only people who have wearied of fighting
and desire to live in peace.
For many years, Northern Ireland was locked
in a murderous and seemingly unending feud.
The key to ending the feud was a shared commitment
that peace was more important than vengeance.
That is always the choice to be made.
The organizers of an April 10, 2009
joint Protestant-Catholic commemoration
of the Northern Ireland dead,
comprised of members of the once-outlawed Sinn Fein
as well as their once-avowed enemies,
referred to, "the terrible, random nature
of death in war and civil conflict."
Some lessons have been learned, many more remain.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
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We are asking the nations of Europe
between whom rivers of blood have flowed
to forget the feuds of a thousand years.
- Winston Churchill
Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live,
it is asking others to live as one wishes to live.
- Oscar Wilde
Prayer is not asking for what you think you want,
but asking to be changed in ways you can't imagine.
- Kathleen Norris
When you keep getting the wrong answers,
try asking better questions.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Stop asking God to bless what you're doing.
Get involved in what God is doing -
because it's already blessed.
- Bono
Often, we get stuck on a question
for which we can't find an acceptable answer.
That is a good time to consider asking a different question.
Every question is based on some assumptions -
usually invisible assumptions that we don't see, unless we go looking.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Conversations with God are very different
from the usual nature of prayer.
Prayers are commonly only in one direction -
the one praying speaks and hopes God is listening.
Prayers also tend to focus on asking
for specific things or outcomes one wants,
rather than seeking to better understand the mind of God.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Prayer is not asking. It is a longing of the soul.
It is daily admission of one's weakness.
It is better in prayer to have a heart without words
than words without a heart.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
Jealousy is a child of selfishness and distrust.
- Mourning Dove
As selfishness and complaint
pervert and cloud the mind,
so love with its joy
clears and sharpens the vision.
- Helen Keller
Personal importance, or taking things personally,
is the maximum expression of selfishness
because we make the assumption that everything is about me.
- don Miguel Ruiz
Every man must decide whether he will
walk in the light of creative altruism
or in the darkness of destructive selfishness.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
Great achievement is usually born of great sacrifice,
and is never the result of selfishness.
- Napoleon Hill
Manifest plainness, embrace simplicity,
reduce selfishness, have few desires.
- Lao Tzu
A competent and self-confident person is
incapable of jealousy in anything.
Jealousy is invariably a symptom of neurotic insecurity.
- Robert A. Heinlein
Jealousy is all the fun you think they had.
- Erica Jong
Keep your attention focused entirely
on what is truly your own concern,
and be clear that what belongs to others
is their business and none of yours.
- Epictetus
True love is a process of co-creation
in which neither feels ownership or superiority.
Jealousy is a highly destructive force
for love and relationships.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The jealous are troublesome to others,
but a torment to themselves.
- William Penn
Jealousy is the result of one's lack
of self-confidence, self-worth, and self-acceptance.
- Sasha Azevedo
Suspicion and jealousy are the death knell of any relationship.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Jealousy is that pain which a man feels
from the apprehension that he is not equally beloved
by the person whom he entirely loves.
- Joseph Addison
Wisdom I know is social.
She seeks her fellows.
But Beauty is jealous,
and illy bears the presence of a rival.
- Thomas Jefferson
To cure jealousy is to see it for what it is,
a dissatisfaction with self.
- Joan Didion
Jealousy is a disease, love is a healthy condition.
The immature mind often mistakes one for the other,
or assumes that the greater the love, the greater the jealousy -
in fact, they're almost incompatible;
one emotion hardly leaves room for the other.
Both at once can produce unbearable turmoil.
- Robert Heinlein
O! beware, my lord, of jealousy;
It is the green-eyed monster which
doth mock the meat it feeds on.
- William Shakespeare
I am the master of my emotions -
I transform fear to love, anger to compassion,
pain to comfort, scarcity to abundance,
expectation to gratitude, and jealousy to generosity.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Love without jealousy. Love without need.
Let love be an unconditional gift.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
If you have an emotional reaction in the presence of someone,
your heart is telling you that you have
not resolved your issues with them.
In other words, you have not truly forgiven that person.
All of this begs the question, how do we forgive?
First, cease lying to yourself and stop telling yourself stories
about why you behave the way you do.
Stop blaming your behavior on other people
and take responsibility for your emotional reactions.
If you could forgive all the people in your life
who have hurt or wounded you
it would be possible to be in control of your behavior
instead of being in reaction to other people all of the time.
Imagine living life without experiencing
a constant emotional roller-coaster of pain, anger, and jealousy!
That would be bliss!
- Sheri Rosenthal
You shall not covet your neighbor's house;
you shall not covet your neighbor's wife,
nor his male servant, nor his female servant,
nor his ox, nor his donkey, nor anything that is your neighbor's.
- Exodus 20:17
Forgiveness is an act of self-love and respect.
- don Miguel Ruiz
This is your day to Laugh at Life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
It ain't what they call you, it's what you answer to.
- W. C. Fields
I have spent many years of my life in opposition,
and I rather like the role.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
The greatest deception men suffer is from their own opinions.
- Leonardo da Vinci
I'm awash in self-contempt!
- the Woody Allen movie Celebrity
You do not need anyone's permission to be your true self.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
He who joyfully marches in rank and file
has already earned my contempt.
He has been given a large brain by mistake,
since for him the spinal cord would suffice.
- Albert Einstein
Simply do your best, and you will avoid
self-judgment, self-abuse and regret.
- don Miguel Ruiz
It is our choices ... that show what we truly are,
far more than our abilities.
- J. K. Rowling (Harry Potter and The Chamber of Secrets)
I was wise enough to never grow up
while fooling most people into believing I had.
- Margaret Mead
No one was ever named "Hero" for following the crowd.
Heroes set their own course.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I do not need anyone's permission to be my true self.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Nearly all men can stand adversity,
but if you want to test a man's character, give him power.
- Abraham Lincoln
This above all, to thine own self be true.
- William Shakespeare
Always be a first-rate version of yourself,
instead of a second-rate version of somebody else.
- Judy Garland
Happiness blooms
in the presence of self-respect,
and the absence of ego.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
You have enemies? Good.
That means you've stood up for something,
sometime in your life.
- Winston Churchill
It is not the mountain we conquer but ourselves.
- Edmund Hillary
Happiness blooms
in the presence of self-respect
and the absence of ego.
Love yourself.
Love everyone around you.
Love everyone in the whole world.
Know that your own life is of infinite importance,
as is every other life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Weariness comes, on some days, from lack of service to self.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
Nobody can bring you peace but yourself.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Self confident independent thinker -
sounds like the makings of a hero.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Stand Tall, Stand Proud.
Know that you are unique and magnificent.
You do not need the approval of others.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I am a self-centered spoiled-rotten brat,
Thank you for nurturing me.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Most people with low self-esteem have earned it.
- George Carlin
A lot of presidential memoirs, they say, are dull and self-serving.
I hope mine is interesting and self-serving.
- William J. Clinton
Listen to the compass of your heart.
All you need lies within you.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
What lies behind us and what lies before us
are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
No amount of self-improvement can make up
for a lack of self-acceptance.
- Anonymous
I sail the seas of life as the MASTER of my ship.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Talent is God-given; be humble.
Fame is man-given; be thankful.
Conceit is self-given; be careful.
- John Wooden
Don't look for approval from anyone other than yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Everyone thinks of changing the world,
but no one thinks of changing himself.
- Leo Tolstoy
The greatest hazard of all, losing one's self,
can occur very quietly in the world, as if it were nothing at all.
- Soren Kierkegaard
Every man has his own courage,
and is betrayed because he seeks in himself
the courage of other persons.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
No one is free who is not master of himself.
- Epictetus
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.