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Let these funny Mouse Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
The early bird gets the worm,
but the second mouse gets the cheese.
- Anonymous
No one can have a higher opinion of you than I have,
and I think you're a slimy, contemptible sewer rat!
- the movie The Great Mouse Detective
Dumbo! C'mon, fly! Open them ears!
The magic feather was just a gag!
You can fly! Honest, you can!
- Timothy Q. Mouse in the movie Dumbo
You're standing on the threshold of success.
Don't look down, it'll make you dizzy.
- the character Timothy Q. Mouse in the Walt Disney movie Dumbo
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He early on let her know who is the boss.
He looked her right in the eye and clearly said, "You're the boss."
- Anonymous humor
I always arrive late at the office,
but I make up for it by leaving early.
- Charles Lamb
Early in life I had to choose between honest arrogance
and hypocritical humility.
I chose the former and have seen no reason to change.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
It is a truism that almost any sect, cult, or religion
will legislate its creed into law
if it acquires the political power to do so,
and will follow it by suppressing opposition,
subverting all education to seize early the minds of the young,
and by killing, locking up, or driving underground all heretics.
- Robert Heinlein
Is it bigger than breadbox?
- the early television show Twenty Questions
Genius always finds itself a century too early.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Self-pity in its early stages
is as snug as a feather mattress.
Only when it hardens does it become uncomfortable.
- Maya Angelou
Early to bed and early to rise,
makes a man healthy, wealthy, and wise.
- Benjamin Franklin
An early-morning walk is a blessing for the whole day.
- Henry David Thoreau
Drop guilt! - because to be guilty is to live in hell.
Not being guilty, you will have the freshness
of dewdrops in the early morning sun,
you will have the freshness of lotus petals in the lake,
you will have the freshness of the stars in the night.
Once guilt disappears you will have
a totally different kind of life, luminous and radiant.
You will have a dance to your feet
and your heart will be singing a thousand and one songs.
- Osho
The only thing to do with good advice is to pass it on.
It is never of any use to oneself.
- Oscar Wilde
Here are the opinions on which my facts are based.
- Anonymous
Live life on the edge, not with an edge.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
You can put wings on a pig,
but you don't make it an eagle.
- William J. Clinton
When your friends begin to flatter
you on how young you look,
it's a sure sign you're getting old.
- Mark Twain
A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat.
- Erma Bombeck
Crazy is walking down the street
with half a cantaloupe on your head,
muttering; "I'm a hamster, I'm a hamster."
- the movie Spy Hard (1996)
I don't want to move to a city where the only cultural advantage
is being able to make a right turn on a red light.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall
My plan was to kiss her with every lip on my face.
- the movie Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid
Oh, come on, Shrek, wake up and smell the pheromones!
- the movie Shrek (2001)
A relationship, I think, is like a shark.
You know? It has to constantly move forward or it dies.
And I think what we got on our hands is a dead shark.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall (1977)
I was thrown out of N.Y.U. my freshman year
for cheating on my metaphysics final ...
I looked within the soul of the boy sitting next to me.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall
The key is, to not think of death as an end,
but as more of a very effective way to cut down on your expenses.
- the movie Love and Death
There's no reason to become alarmed,
and we hope you'll enjoy the rest of your flight.
By the way, is there anyone on board who knows how to fly a plane?
- the movie Airplane!
Tip the world over on its side and
everything loose will land in Los Angeles.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
Mr. President, I'm not saying we wouldn't get our hair mussed.
But I do say no more than ten to twenty million killed, tops.
Uh, depending on the breaks.
- the movie Dr. Strangelove
Sucking the marrow out of life
doesn't mean choking on the bone.
- Robin Williams as John Keating
in the 1989 movie Dead Poets Society
When you are courting a nice girl
an hour seems like a second.
When you sit on a red-hot cinder
a second seems like an hour.
That's relativity.
- Albert Einstein
You have to learn to push the guilt
under the rug and move on,
otherwise it overwhelms you.
- the Woody Allen movie Match Point
I am fond of pigs.
Dogs look up to us.
Cats look down on us.
Pigs treat us as equals.
- Winston Churchill
One minute you're in the lunchroom at Glenwood High
and you ... blink and you're 40,
you blink again and you can see movies
at half price on a senior citizen's pass.
Ask not for whom the bell tolls, or to put it more accurately,
ask not for whom the toilet flushes.
- the Woody Allen movie Celebrity
Hold on with a bulldog grip,
and chew and choke as much as possible.
- Abraham Lincoln
Every man thinks God is on his side.
- Jean Anouilh
Love is only a dirty trick played on us
to achieve continuation of the species.
- W. Somerset Maugham
Man will occasionally stumble over the truth,
but most of the time he will pick himself up and continue on.
- Winston Churchill
If you can find something everyone agrees on, it's wrong.
- Mo Udall
People living their lives for you on TV;
They say they're better than you, and you agree.
- Jewel
Clothes make the man.
Naked people have little or no influence on society.
- Mark Twain
I always pass on good advice.
It is the only thing to do with it.
It is never of any use to oneself.
- Oscar Wilde
Life is like a sewer...
what you get out of it depends on what you put into it.
- Tom Lehrer
Fly Life on Free Wings, and Sing to its Glory.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Let your sympathies and your compassion
be always with the under dog in the fight -
this is magnanimity;
but bet on the other one - this is business.
- Mark Twain
Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute and it
seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour
and it seems like a minute. That's relativity.
- Albert Einstein
It is dangerous to be right in matters
on which the established authorities are wrong.
- Voltaire
Advertisements contain the only truths
to be relied on in a newspaper.
- Thomas Jefferson
The faith that stands on authority is not faith.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
The age of a woman doesn't mean a thing.
The best tunes are played on the oldest fiddles.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
It is an open question whether any behavior
based on fear of eternal punishment
can be regarded as ethical
or should be regarded as merely cowardly.
- Margaret Mead
Do you feel stuck?
Whether in a project, a job, a relationship,
or some other situation,
there is a time for perseverance,
and a time for letting go and moving on.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Just remember, after they foreclose on your mortgage,
you get a lot more sunshine in your life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Even if you're on the right track,
you'll get run over if you just sit there.
- Will Rogers
Well excuse me - we've got something
a little unusual going on here -
time travel, parallel universes,
or just a little common ordinary insanity.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I refuse to answer that question
on the grounds that I don't know the answer
- Douglas Adams
I feel coming on a strange disease - humility.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
Life is like a roller coaster - scream Whee... on the way down,
and let the momentum carry you back up the next hill.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I am sorry to say that there is too much point to the wisecrack
that life is extinct on other planets
because their scientists were more advanced than ours.
- John F. Kennedy
The man who can smile when things go wrong
has thought of someone else he can blame it on.
- Robert Bloch
I love to shop after a bad relationship.
I don't know. I buy a new outfit
and it makes me feel better. It just does.
Sometimes I see a really great outfit,
I'll break up with someone on purpose.
- Rita Rudner
If you want total security, go to prison.
There you're fed, clothed, given medical care and so on.
The only thing lacking... is freedom.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
Human beings are the only creatures on the planet
who tell time and think they have to earn a living.
- Buckminster Fuller
When life gets you down -
just put on your big girl panties and deal with it.
- Anonymous humor
You have to be a bastard to make it, and that's a fact.
And the Beatles are the biggest bastards on earth.
- John Lennon
The trouble with having an open mind, of course,
is that people will insist on coming along
and trying to put things in it.
- Terry Pratchett
The worst government is often the most moral.
One composed of cynics is often very tolerant and humane.
But when fanatics are on top there is no limit to oppression.
- H. L. Mencken
Faced with the choice between changing one's mind
and proving that there is no need to do so,
almost everyone gets busy on the proof.
- John Kenneth Galbraith
The devil has put a penalty on all things we enjoy in life.
Either we suffer in health or we suffer in soul or we get fat.
- Albert Einstein
In life you are given two ends;
one to think with and the other to sit on.
Your success in life depends on which end you use most.
Heads you win, tails you lose.
- Conrad Burns
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.