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Funny Quotes about Life
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Funny Morning Quotes
Funny Quotes about Morning

Let these funny Morning Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

We all have our thorns. We, and Life, have our moments.
Life occurs before our morning coffee.
Life occurs in our bathrobe with our hair uncombed.
Bless and give thanks for All of Life - the bloom and the thorns.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I recorded my hair this morning, tonight I'm watching the highlights.
- Jay London

I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning
I will be sober and you will still be ugly.
- Winston Churchill

Smile first thing in the morning. Get it over with.
- W. C. Fields


 

Praying is important when you wake up
at two o'clock in the morning
feeling sick from eating something dumb the day before.
- Charlie Brown in Charles M. Schulz' cartoon Peanuts

Touch me in the morning
Then just walk away
We don't have tomorrow
But we had yesterday
- Ron Miller/Michael Masser

I have a great deal of company in the house,
especially in the morning when nobody calls.
- Henry David Thoreau


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Make sure you never, never argue at night.
You just lose a good night's sleep,
and you can't settle anything until morning anyway.
- Rose Kennedy

"Good morning!" he said at last.
"We don't want any adventures here, thank you!
You might try over The Hill or across The Water."
- J. R. R. Tolkien

The average, healthy, well-adjusted adult gets up at
seven-thirty in the morning feeling just plain terrible.
- Jean Kerr

It is always with excitement that I wake up in the morning
wondering what my intuition
will toss up to me, like gifts from the sea.
I work with it and rely on it. It's my partner.
- Jonas Salk

I haven't got any special religion this morning.
My God is the God of Walkers.
If you walk hard enough,
you probably don't need any other god.
- Bruce Chatwin

He's got an overall flair for the game.
It looks to me like he really loves what he does and
he can't wait to get up in the morning,
go hit some balls and go play.
- Gary McCord

Just another cold, misty morning inviting,
"want to go again?"
- Mary Anne Radmacher

The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the
moment you get up in the morning and does not stop
until you get into the office.
- Robert Frost

Mom and Dad would stay in bed on Sunday morning,
but the kids would have to go to church.
- Lynn Johnston

Do you know how many calories are in butter and cheese
and ice cream? Would you get your dog up in the morning
for a cup of coffee and a donut?
- Jack LaLanne

In my afternoon walk I would fain forget
all my morning occupations and my obligations to society.
- Henry David Thoreau

You can't set a hen in one morning and have chicken salad for lunch.
- George M. Humphrey

In these times you have to be an optimist to open your
eyes when you awake in the morning.
- Carl Sandburg

A morning-glory at my window satisfies me more than
the metaphysics of books.
- Walt Whitman

It is a good morning exercise for a research scientist
to discard a pet hypothesis every day before breakfast.
It keeps him young.
- Konrad Lorenz

Do not say, "It is morning,"
and dismiss it with a name of yesterday.
See it for the first time
as a newborn child that has no name.
- Rabindranath Tagore

All men are children, and of one family.
The same tale sends them all to bed,
and wakes them in the morning.
- Henry David Thoreau

I wake up in the morning, I do a little stretching exercises,
pick up the horn and play.
- Herb Alpert

The great secret of doctors, known only to their wives,
but still hidden from the public, is that most things
get better by themselves;
most things,
in fact, are better in the morning.
- Lewis Thomas

It seems a long time since the morning mail could be called correspondence.
- Jacques Barzun

I awoke this morning with devout thanksgiving
for my friends, the old and the new.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Since I travel so much, it's always great to be home.
There's nothing like getting to raid my own refrigerator at two in the morning.
- Amy Grant

A man is a success if he gets up in
the morning and gets to bed at night,
and in between he does what he wants to do.
- Bob Dylan

It is a common experience that a problem difficult
at night is resolved in the morning after the committee
of sleep has worked on it.
- John Steinbeck

My father-in-law gets up at 5 o'clock in the morning
and watches the Discovery Channel.
I don't know why there's this big rush to do this.
- Jeff Foxworthy

Morning comes whether you set the alarm or not.
- Ursula K. Le Guin

If one morning I walked on top of the water across the Potomac River,
the headline that afternoon would read:
"President Can't Swim."
- Lyndon B. Johnson

True terror is to wake up one morning and discover
that your high school class is running the country.
- Kurt Vonnegut

I'm French, so I'm quite lazy about exercising,
and I smoke.
But I do love going for a run in the morning with my dog.
That's all.
- Eva Green

I arise in the morning torn between a desire to improve
the world and a desire to enjoy the world.
This makes it hard to plan the day.
- E. B. White

Never get married in the morning - you never know who
you might meet that night.
- Paul Hornung

An early-morning walk is a blessing for the whole day.
- Henry David Thoreau

Just in terms of allocation of time resources,
religion is not very efficient.
There's a lot more I could be doing on a Sunday morning.
- Bill Gates

My formula for living is quite simple.
I get up in the morning and I go to bed at night.
In between, I occupy myself as best I can.
- Cary Grant

Prayer is the key of the morning
and the bolt of the evening.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

If you have only one smile in you,
give it to the people you love.
Don't be surly at home,
then go out in the street
and start grinning good morning
at total strangers.
- Maya Angelou

From the way most people live,
one would never guess that humans are beings of free will.
Repetition can be a choice, but often it isn't.
The athlete or pianist who practices the same routine
day after day, year after year, has their eye on a goal.
The unending repetition is a conscious choice
in the pursuit of a life dream.
But what about the sameness of most lives?
Observe the morning commute, the after-work drink,
the Sunday football game or religious service -
how many of those people are consciously following their dream,
training their mind, body, and spirit through that daily repetition?
And how many are mindlessly slogging through each day
out of habit and boredom?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I never married because there was no need.
I have three pets at home which answer the same purpose as a husband.
I have a dog which growls every morning,
a parrot which swears all afternoon,
and a cat that comes home late at night.
- Marie Corelli

Experience has taught me, when I am shaving of a morning,
to keep watch over my thoughts, because,
if a line of poetry strays into my memory,
my skin bristles so that the razor ceases to act.
- A. E. Housman

Who will tell whether one happy moment of love or the
joy of breathing or walking on a bright morning and smelling the fresh air,
is not worth all the suffering and effort which life implies.
- Erich Fromm

I can't live without my beauty products.
I love to be in my bathroom with my candles lit,
morning, noon and night.
I like taking hot baths and hot showers,
using my body scrubs and lotions.
- Traci Bingham

Let me tell you, sisters, seeing dried egg on a plate
in the morning is a lot dirtier than anything I've
had to deal with in politics.
- Ann Richards

I just motor through school in the morning and then go skating.
- Ryan Sheckler

I'm sorry I didn't wear paint this morning.
I tend not to wear it unless I'm getting highly paid.
- Tyne Daly

My wife gets all the money I make.
I just get an apple and clean clothes every morning.
- Ray Romano

My mother had morning sickness after I was born.
- Rodney Dangerfield

I woke up this morning, and I still don't believe I won the Daytona 500.
- Dale Earnhardt

I was so obsessed by this problem that I was thinking about it all the time -
when I woke up in the morning,
when I went to sleep at night - and that went on for eight years.
- Andrew Wiles

All three networks have always had a morning show but
now cable of course is taking some of that audience
away and a variety of other things,
probably the Internet as well.
- Katie Couric

Later, in the early teens, I used to ride my bike every
Saturday morning to the nearest airport,
ten miles away, push airplanes in and out of the hangars,
and clean up the hangars.
- Alan Shepard

We live under a government of men and morning newspapers.
- Wendell Phillips

You've got to get up every morning with determination
if you're going to go to bed with satisfaction.
- George Horace Lorimer

When you have to get into the character each morning,
give it your voice, your face, it was torture.
- Victoria Abril

I spend my happiest hours in reading Vedantic books.
They are to me like the light of the morning,
like the pure air of the mountains -
so simple,
so true, if once understood.
- Max Muller

What is life, when wanting love? Night without a morning;
love's the cloudless summer sun,
nature gay adorning.
- Robert Burton

There is both a skill factor and an effort factor in dream recall.
People can develop dream recall skills,
such as lying still in the morning and writing down whatever comes to mind.
- Henry Reed

The man with the best job in the country is the vice-president.
All he has to do is get up every morning and say,
"How is the president?"
- Will Rogers

Sometimes in the morning, when it's a good surf,
I go out there, and I don't feel like it's a bad world.
- Kary Mullis

She got the magazine on a Wednesday morning,
and on Thursday announced our marriage was over.
- David Gest

I spent many a summer early morning with the radio very low,
half sleeping and half listening.
- Frankie Valli

That was my childhood.
I grew up with the monks, studying Sanskrit and meditating
for hours in the morning and hours in the evening,
and going once a day to beg for food.
- Satish Kumar

Now I know that that is just the phenomena of eating this way.
Most all of my letters say I hit a plateau and then
one morning I woke up and the melt had happened.
- Suzanne Somers

I was so young, and making movies, going to the studio
every morning at dawn was magic.
- Natalie Wood

My heart is singing for joy this morning!
A miracle has happened!
The light of understanding has shone upon my little pupil's mind,
and behold, all things are changed!
- Anne Sullivan


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- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.