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Let these funny Moderation Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
If one oversteps the bounds of moderation,
the greatest pleasures cease to please.
- Epictetus
An overfull calendar, like an overfull stomach,
is a consequence of taking on too much.
Commit, and eat, in moderation.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
People who work together will win,
whether it be against complex football defenses,
or the problems of modern society.
- Vince Lombardi
Social progress can be measured
by the social position of the female sex.
- Karl Marx
(German philosopher and political economist
whose ideas are credited as the foundation of modern communism)
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Modern cynics and skeptics... see no harm in paying those
to whom they entrust the minds of their children
a smaller wage than is paid to those to whom
they entrust the care of their plumbing.
- John F. Kennedy
Have we not come to such an impasse in the modern world
that we must love our enemies - or else?
The chain reaction of evil -
hate begetting hate, wars producing more wars -
must be broken, or else we shall be plunged
into the dark abyss of annihilation.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
The task of the modern educator
is not to cut down jungles,
but to irrigate deserts.
- C.S. Lewis
Be merciful, moderate, and modest.
- Lao Tzu
During his training, a baseball player strives
to make each swing better than the last.
The repetition of a faulty swing would be worse than useless.
It would ingrain bad habits.
The same is true of emotional responses.
If we allow ourselves to continue to have the same angry responses,
we just entrench our anger habit.
But if we strive - through consciousness, visualization, and coaching -
to moderate our anger response,
over time, we can train ourselves to respond
to events as we choose - without anger.
You can't magically be free from anger tomorrow,
but you can put yourself on your own training program
that will reduce the frequency and intensity
of your anger response day by day, year by year.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Mr. Attlee is a very modest man.
Indeed he has a lot to be modest about.
- Winston Churchill
A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.
- W. C. Fields
Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits
and then complain that he's not the man she married?
- Barbra Streisand
A man wrapped up in himself makes a very small bundle.
- Benjamin Franklin
He's the kind of man a woman would have to marry to get rid of.
- Mae West
Getting divorced just because you don't love a man
is almost as silly as getting married just because you do.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor
Don't marry a man to reform him -
that's what reform schools are for.
- Mae West
You never really know a man until you have divorced him.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor
Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend.
Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
- Groucho Marx
You can lead a man to Congress,
but you can't make him think.
- Milton Berle
A man likes his wife to be
just clever enough to appreciate his cleverness,
and just stupid enough to admire it.
- Israel Zangwill
One man's remorse is another man's reminiscence.
- Ogden Nash
Men always want to be a woman's first love -
women like to be a man's last romance.
- Oscar Wilde
In order to be happy with a man,
you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot
and not try to understand her at all.
- Helen Rowland
Do not marry a man to reform him.
That is what reform schools are for.
- Mae West
A man's friendships are, like his will,
invalidated by marriage -
but they are also no less invalidated
by the marriage of his friends.
- Samuel Butler
Whenever I date a guy, I think,
"Is this the man I want my children
to spend their weekends with?"
- Rita Rudner
I care not much for a man's religion
whose dog and cat are not the better for it.
- Abraham Lincoln
A man is a fool if he drinks before he reaches the age of 50,
and a fool if he doesn't afterward.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
Barf: I'm a mog: half man, half dog. I'm my own best friend!
- the movie Spaceballs (1987)
Marriages don't last. When I meet a guy,
the first question I ask myself is:
is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?
- Rita Rudner
One cannot have everything the way he would like it.
A man has no business to be depressed by a disappointment,
anyway; he ought to make up his mind to get even.
- Mark Twain
Give a man one rabbit, and he will eat for a day;
give a man two rabbits, and he will
feed his family and his neighbors
and return you 64,768 rabbits in change.
- Anonymous
It's not as great a day for the bride as she thinks.
She's not marrying the best man.
- Anonymous
Afraid? Me? A man who's licked
his weight in wild caterpillars?
Afraid? You bet I'm afraid!
- Groucho Marx
I am a man of fixed and unbending principles,
the first of which is to be flexible at all times.
- Everett Dirksen
There are two times when a man doesn't understand a woman -
before marriage and after marriage.
- Anonymous
A man is incomplete until he is married.
After that, he is finished.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor
One man's theology is another man's belly laugh.
- Robert A. Heinlein
No man is truly married until he understands
every word his wife is NOT saying.
- Anonymous
Every man thinks God is on his side.
- Jean Anouilh
You know your god is man-made when he
hates all the same people you do.
- Anonymous
It appears to be a law that you cannot have
a deep sympathy with both man and nature.
- Henry David Thoreau
If a man smiles all the time,
he's probably selling something that doesn't work.
- George Carlin
A clever man commits no minor blunders.
- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
Clothes make the man.
Naked people have little or no influence on society.
- Mark Twain
I know that God made the whole world in 4004 BC.
I know because my preacher told me. He's a good man.
He's even saving up all the money we give him
to go to bible college someday.
- Anonymous Humor
If it keeps up, man will atrophy
all his limbs but the push-button finger.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
An excellent man;
he has no enemies;
and none of his friends like him.
- Oscar Wilde
Confused Memories of Childhood:
Hate to my father, cruel hate,
confused with love - a mix not great.
The man I love - the man I hate;
the man I want to emulate.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The man who does not read good books
has no advantage over the man who cannot read them.
- Mark Twain
The civilized man has built a coach,
but has lost the use of his feet.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
You can always tell when a man's well informed.
His views are pretty much like your own.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
Blessed is the man who, having nothing to say,
abstains from giving us wordy evidence of the fact.
- George Eliot
The man who says he is willing to meet you halfway
is usually a poor judge of distance.
- Laurence J. Peter
The power of man has grown in every sphere, except over himself.
- Winston Churchill
Man's nature is not essentially evil.
Brute nature has been known to
yield to the influence of love.
You must never despair of human nature.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
Many a man owes his success to his first wife
and his second wife to his success.
- Jim Backus
I would rather trust a woman's instinct than a man's reason.
- Stanley Baldwin
If you can not answer a man's argument,
all is not lost; you can still call him vile names.
- Elbert Hubbard
The man of science is a poor philosopher.
- Albert Einstein
Never give a sword to a man who can't dance.
- Confucius
The man who can smile when things go wrong
has thought of someone else he can blame it on.
- Robert Bloch
We are born believing.
A man bears beliefs as a tree bears apples.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
The man who reads nothing at all
is better educated than the man who reads nothing but newspapers.
- Thomas Jefferson
A benevolent man should allow a few faults in himself,
to keep his friends in countenance.
- Benjamin Franklin
A cynic is a man who knows the price of everything
and the value of nothing.
- Oscar Wilde
When I hear a man preach,
I like to see him act as if he were fighting bees.
- Abraham Lincoln
Man is a credulous animal, and must believe something;
in the absence of good grounds for belief,
he will be satisfied with bad ones.
- Bertrand Russell
An intellectual is a man
who takes more words than necessary
to tell more than he knows.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
I choose my friends for their good looks,
my acquaintances for their good characters,
and my enemies for their intellects.
A man cannot be too careful in the choice of his enemies.
- Oscar Wilde
Two things a man should never be angry at:
what he can help,
and what he cannot help.
- Thomas Fuller
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.