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Let these funny Misdeeds Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
Among the many misdeeds of the British rule in India,
history will look upon the act of
depriving a whole nation of arms as the blackest.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
"But I don't want to go among mad people," said Alice.
"Oh, you can't help that," said the cat. "We're all mad here."
- Lewis Carroll
Every kind of peaceful cooperation among men
is primarily based on mutual trust
and only secondarily on institutions
such as courts of justice and police.
- Albert Einstein
I seldom think about my limitations,
and they never make me sad.
Perhaps there is just a touch of yearning at times;
but it is vague, like a breeze among flowers.
- Helen Keller
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Shoot for the moon.
Even if you miss,
you'll land among the stars.
- Les Brown
Nobody, as long as he moves about
among the chaotic currents of life,
is without trouble.
- Carl Jung
There is no king who has not had a slave among his ancestors,
and no slave who has not had a king among his.
- Helen Keller
I don't know what your destiny will be, but one thing I know:
the only ones among you who will be really happy
are those who will have sought and found how to serve.
- Albert Schweitzer
While they were saying among themselves
it cannot be done, it was done.
- Helen Keller
There is a natural aristocracy among men.
The grounds of this are virtue and talents.
- Thomas Jefferson
The only ones among you who will be really happy
are those who will have sought and found how to serve.
- Albert Schweitzer
Go to the people
Live among them
Learn from them
Love them
Serve them
Plan with them
Start with what they know
Build on what they have.
- Jimmy Yen (Y. C. James Yen)
Science merely quantifies and documents
the relationships among miracles.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I renounce all assumptions and expectations.
I thoughtfully consider all possibilities,
and CHOOSE among them with consciousness.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I have found that among its other benefits,
giving liberates the soul of the giver.
- Maya Angelou
My father considered a walk among the mountains
as the equivalent of churchgoing.
- Aldous Huxley
One thing I know: the only ones among you
who will be really happy are those
who will have sought and found how to serve.
- Albert Schweitzer
Real friendships among men are so rare
that when they occur they are famous.
- Clarence Day
"Go to the people and live among them
in order to know them and learn from them.
- Jimmy Yen
America and Israel share a special bond.
Our relationship is unique among all nations.
Like America, Israel is a strong democracy,
a symbol of freedom, and an oasis of liberty,
a home to the oppressed and persecuted.
- William J. Clinton
I CHOOSE with Thoughtful Consideration:
I renounce all assumptions and expectations,
and declare that I will thoughtfully consider
all possibilities and CHOOSE among them with consciousness.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I have three precious things which I hold fast and prize.
The first is gentleness;
the second is frugality;
the third is humility, which keeps me from putting myself before others.
Be gentle and you can be bold;
be frugal and you can be generous;
avoid putting yourself before others
and you can become a leader among men.
- Lao Tzu
As she passed among the hungry and the dejected,
delivering the rations and water,
she chanted in a low whisper,
"the spark of the mind - the sparkle of the soul" ...
"the spark of the mind - the sparkle of the soul" ...
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
New Year's eve is like every other night;
there is no pause in the march of the universe,
no breathless moment of silence among created things
that the passage of another twelve months may be noted;
and yet no man has quite the same thoughts this evening
that come with the coming of darkness on other nights.
- Hamilton Wright Mabie
I have treated many hundreds of patients.
Among those in the second half of life -
that is to say, over 35 -
there has not been one whose problem in the last resort
was not that of finding a religious outlook on life.
- Carl Jung
We hold these truths to be self-evident:
that all men are created equal;
that they are endowed by their Creator
with certain unalienable rights;
that among these are life, liberty,
and the pursuit of happiness.
- Thomas Jefferson
I have never found a companion that was
so companionable as solitude.
We are for the most part more lonely
when we go abroad among men
than when we stay in our chambers.
A man thinking or working is always alone,
let him be where he will.
- Henry David Thoreau
Instead of comparing our lot with that
of those who are more fortunate than we are,
we should compare it with the lot
of the great majority of our fellow men.
It then appears that we are among the privileged.
- Helen Keller
Nobody cares how much you know,
until they know how much you care.
- attributed to Theodore Roosevelt, among others,
but probably earlier and anonymous
The signs of outstanding leadership
appear primarily among the followers.
Are the followers reaching their potential?
Are they learning? Serving?
Do they achieve the required results?
Do they change with grace? Manage conflict?
- Max De Pree
The Eye-of-the-Storm.
Surrounded by the winds and the rain,
yet peaceful in its own unworldly way -
an unnatural ruddy-cloudy misty-bright kind of way.
Whatever comes next, the eye of the storm is
a moment of serenity among the challenge -
a time for repose and contemplation.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Great men, unknown to their generation,
have their fame among the great who have preceded them,
and all true worldly fame subsides
from their high estimate beyond the stars.
- Henry David Thoreau
Prayer:
Lord God, Holy Spirit, Giver of All Light,
Bless and Keep All Those of This World.
Grant Us Your Peace, Your Light, Your Love.
Grant Us Complete Renewal of Body, Mind and Spirit -
Continual Rebirth in Newness of Life.
Let Your Light Shine Upon Us and Be Gracious to Us.
Grant to Each and Every One of Us:
Health, Comfort, Joy, Peace Within Ourselves,
Peace Within Our Families, Peace Within Our Communities,
and Peace among All those This World.
Grant That I May Be an Instrument of Thy Peace.
Grant That I May Radiate Thy Peace, Thy Light, Thy Love,
Thy Healing, Thy Comfort, Thy Joy,
to All Those Around Me and All Those in My Thoughts
This Day and Ever More. AMEN.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The shepherd drives the wolf from the sheep's throat,
for which the sheep thanks the shepherd as a liberator,
while the wolf denounces him for the same act
as the destroyer of liberty,
especially as the sheep was a black one.
Plainly the sheep and the wolf are not agreed
upon a definition of the word liberty;
and precisely the same difference
prevails today among us human creatures
- Abraham Lincoln
I love being married.
It's so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- Rita Rudner
I want to thank my parents for everything I am today -
fat, miserable, and paranoid.
- Anonymous
Here's a toast to your new bride who has everything a girl
could want in her life, except for good taste in men.
- Anonymous
You want a friend in Washington? Get a dog.
- Harry S. Truman
Whenever I date a guy, I think,
"Is this the man I want my children
to spend their weekends with?"
- Rita Rudner
Women want mediocre men,
and men are working to be as mediocre as possible.
- Margaret Mead
Marriages don't last. When I meet a guy,
the first question I ask myself is:
is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?
- Rita Rudner
I feel the need to express something,
but I don't know what it is I want to express.
- the movie Interiors
You want to do mankind a real service?
Tell funnier jokes.
- the Woody Allen movie Stardust Memories (1980)
My boyfriend and I broke up.
He wanted to get married and I didn't want him to.
- Rita Rudner
Men always want to be a woman's first love -
women like to be a man's last romance.
- Oscar Wilde
Marriage is a wonderful institution,
but who would want to live in an institution?
- H. L. Mencken
You'll live to be a hundred if you give up
all the things that make you want to.
- the movie Interiors
I don't want to move to a city where the only cultural advantage
is being able to make a right turn on a red light.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall
Take time to play!
Ask for what you want.
Laugh.
Live loudly.
Be avid.
Learn a new thing.
Be Yourself!
- Mary Anne Radmacher
Mothers all want their sons to grow up to be president,
but they don't want them to become politicians in the process.
- John F. Kennedy
Decide that you want it more than you are afraid of it.
- Bill Cosby
When I want to be bold about my movement ...
I for sure do not call it exercise!
- Mary Anne Radmacher
The third certainty of life, after death and taxes,
is that nothing will work out the way you want.
Life is fully as bad as you think it is.
Choose to live joyfully anyway.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Confused Memories of Childhood:
Hate to my father, cruel hate,
confused with love - a mix not great.
The man I love - the man I hate;
the man I want to emulate.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
If you want total security, go to prison.
There you're fed, clothed, given medical care and so on.
The only thing lacking... is freedom.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
Law of Contrariness:
Our chief want in life is somebody
who shall make us do what we can.
Having found them, we shall then hate them for it.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
I want to be the white man's brother, not his brother-in-law.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
I want a girl just like good old mom,
who is different in every way.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The jump is so frightening
between where I am,
and where I want to be.
Because of all I may become,
I will close my eyes and leap.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
Experience is what you get when you don't get what you want.
- Dan Stanford
Too many people spend money they haven't earned,
to buy things they don't want,
to impress people they don't like.
- Will Rogers
How do you want to be remembered?
Live life full out - Begin today.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
If you want to make enemies,
try to change something.
- Woodrow Wilson
I would never want to be a member of a group
whose symbol was a man nailed to two pieces of wood.
- George Carlin
People who want to share their religious views with you
almost never want you to share yours with them.
- Dave Barry
If you want to make peace with your enemy,
you have to work with your enemy.
Then he becomes your partner.
- Nelson Mandela
The way I see it, if you want the rainbow,
you gotta put up with the rain.
- Dolly Parton
Nearly all men can stand adversity,
but if you want to test a man's character, give him power.
- Abraham Lincoln
People are stupid;
given proper motivation, almost anyone will believe almost anything.
Because people are stupid, they will believe a lie
because they want to believe it's true,
or because they are afraid it might be true.
- Terry Goodkind
If you want to be happy, be.
- Leo Tolstoy
Never say goodbye when you still want to try,
never give up when you still feel you can't take it.
Never say you don't love the person anymore
when you can't let go.
- Anonymous
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.