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Funny Quotes about Life
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Funny Messengers Quotes
Funny Quotes about Messengers

Let these funny Messengers Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

Flowers are Nature's messengers -
reminders of an unspeakable beauty.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

There is a sacredness in tears.
They are not the mark of weakness, but of power.
They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues.
They are messengers of overwhelming grief ...
and unspeakable love.
- Washington Irving

A wedding is just like a funeral
except that you get to smell your own flowers.
- Grace Hansen

A cynic is a man who, when he smells flowers,
looks around for a coffin.
- H. L. Mencken


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You're only here for a short visit.
Don't hurry. Don't worry.
And be sure to smell the flowers along the way.
- Walter Hagen

Sisters are different flowers from the same garden.
- Anonymous

Give thanks for the rain in your life
which waters the flowers of your soul.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


 

Earth laughs in flowers.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

I seldom think about my limitations,
and they never make me sad.
Perhaps there is just a touch of yearning at times;
but it is vague, like a breeze among flowers.
- Helen Keller

May flowers always line your path and sunshine light your day.
May songbirds serenade you every step along the way.
May a rainbow run beside you in a sky that's always blue.
And may happiness fill your heart each day your whole life through.
- Irish Blessing

Flowers... are a proud assertion that a ray of beauty
out-values all the utilities of the world.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

We need to find God, and he cannot
be found in noise and restlessness.
God is the friend of silence.
See how nature - trees, flowers, grass-
grows in silence; see the stars,
the moon and the sun, how they move in silence...
We need silence to be able to touch souls.
- Mother Teresa

It's not as great a day for the bride as she thinks.
She's not marrying the best man.
- Anonymous

Here's a toast to your new bride who has everything a girl
could want in her life, except for good taste in men.
- Anonymous

(Groom), take (Bride)'s hand and place your hand over hers.
Now, remember this moment and cherish it...
because this will be the last time you ever have the upper hand.
- Anonymous

The Wedding March always reminds me of the music
played when soldiers go into battle.
- Heinrich Heine

To keep your marriage brimming,
With love in the wedding cup,
Whenever you're wrong, admit it;
Whenever you're right, shut up.
- Ogden Nash

This day I will marry my friend,
the one I laugh with, live for, dream with, love.
- Anonymous

A little girl at the wedding afterwards asked her mother
why the bride changed her mind.
What do you mean? responded her mother.
Well, she went down the aisle with one man,
and came back with another.
- Anonymous

Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits
and then complain that he's not the man she married?
- Barbra Streisand

It's not the size of the dog in the fight,
it's the size of the fight in the dog.
- Mark Twain

Be careful not to do your good deeds
when there's no one watching you.
- Tom Lehrer

Live life on the edge, not with an edge.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

If you are not one of us, you are one of them.
- the movie The Matrix (1999)

"It's not that important,
don't worry about it" is the answer,
now what was the question?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

DON'T get officious.
You're not yourself when you're officious -
That is the curse of a government job.
- the movie Harold and Maude (1971)

One does not leave a convivial party before closing time.
- Winston Churchill

Be thankful we're not getting all the government we're paying for.
- Will Rogers

Do not marry a man to reform him.
That is what reform schools are for.
- Mae West

The key is, to not think of death as an end,
but as more of a very effective way to cut down on your expenses.
- the movie Love and Death

If at first you don't succeed,
skydiving is not for you.
- Anonymous

I care not much for a man's religion
whose dog and cat are not the better for it.
- Abraham Lincoln

When you fish for love, bait with your heart, not your brain.
- Mark Twain

Yeah I called her up. She gave me a bunch of ...
about me not listening to her, or something.
I don't know, I wasn't really paying attention.
- the movie Dumb & Dumber (1994)

Never argue at the dinner table, for the one who is not hungry
always gets the best of the argument.
- Voltaire

Damn it boss, I like you too much not to say it.
You've got everything except one thing: madness!
- the movie Zorba The Greek

I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are missing.
- Anonymous

I'm not used to feeling so human.
Is it always like this?
- Edward, from Twilight Saga by Stephenie Meyer

I'm not talking about lust.
A woman in lust wants chocolate.
A woman in love wants diamonds.
- the movie How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days

Marriage is a fine institution -
but I'm not ready for an institution yet.
- Mae West

It's not the men in your life that counts,
it's the life in your men.
- Mae West, in the movie I'm No Angel

Two things are infinite:
the universe and human stupidity;
and I'm not sure about the universe.
- Albert Einstein

No man is truly married until he understands
every word his wife is NOT saying.
- Anonymous

Personally, I'm always ready to learn,
although I do not always like being taught.
- Winston Churchill

In order to be happy with a man,
you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot
and not try to understand her at all.
- Helen Rowland

The most important words in the English language
are not "I love you" but "It's benign."
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry

Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love.
- Albert Einstein

Yield to temptation. It may not pass your way again.
- Robert A. Heinlein

Mr. President, I'm not saying we wouldn't get our hair mussed.
But I do say no more than ten to twenty million killed, tops.
Uh, depending on the breaks.
- the movie Dr. Strangelove

Women marry men hoping they will change.
Men marry women hoping they will not.
- Albert Einstein

Man's nature is not essentially evil.
Brute nature has been known to
yield to the influence of love.
You must never despair of human nature.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our Light, not our Darkness, that most frightens us.
- Marianne Williamson

Contrary to general belief,
I do not believe that friends are necessarily
the people you like best,
they are merely the people who got there first.
- Peter Ustinov

The holy passion of Friendship is of so sweet
and steady and loyal and enduring a nature
that it will last through a whole lifetime,
if not asked to lend money.
- Mark Twain

The lawyer's truth is not Truth,
but consistency or a consistent expediency.
- Henry David Thoreau

Although personally I am quite content with existing explosives,
I feel we must not stand in the path of improvement.
- Winston Churchill

The wine of youth does not always
clear with advancing years;
sometimes it grows turbid.
- Carl Jung

Ever has it been that love knows not its own depth
until the hour of separation.
- Khalil Gibran

Belief is not the beginning but the end of all knowledge.
- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

If Christ were here now there is one thing
he would not be - a Christian.
- Mark Twain

Politics is such a torment that I advise everyone
I love not to mix with it.
- Thomas Jefferson

Time you enjoy wasting, was not wasted.
- John Lennon

Am I not destroying my enemies
when I make friends of them?
- Abraham Lincoln

Science is a wonderful thing
if one does not have to earn one's living at it.
- Albert Einstein

The church is always trying to get other people to reform;
it might not be a bad idea to reform itself a little,
by way of example.
- Mark Twain

I do not fear death.
I had been dead for billions and billions
of years before I was born,
and had not suffered the slightest inconvenience from it.
- Mark Twain

Delusion: belief said to be false by someone who does not share it.
- Thomas Szasz

Do not use a hatchet to remove
a fly from your friend's forehead.
- Chinese Proverb

Faith: not wanting to know what is true.
- Friedrich Nietzsche

For those who do not think,
it is best at least to rearrange
their prejudices once in a while.
- Luther Burbank

I do not believe that civilization will be wiped out
in a war fought with the atomic bomb.
Perhaps two-thirds of the people of the earth will be killed.
- Albert Einstein


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


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