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Funny Men Women Quotes
Funny Quotes about Men Women

Let these funny Men Women Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

Women want mediocre men,
and men are working to be as mediocre as possible.
- Margaret Mead

Men always want to be a woman's first love -
women like to be a man's last romance.
- Oscar Wilde

Women marry men hoping they will change.
Men marry women hoping they will not.
- Albert Einstein

Women who seek to be equal with men lack ambition.
- Marilyn Monroe


 

Men and women belong to different species and communications
between them is still in its infancy.
- Bill Cosby

Women and cats will do as they please,
and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.
- Robert A. Heinlein

If American men are obsessed with money,
American women are obsessed with weight.
The men talk of gain, the women talk of loss,
and I do not know which talk is the more boring.
- Marya Mannes


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The difference between men friends and women friends
is that men tend to do things together,
women tend to just be together.
- Art Jahnke

Men have a much better time of it than women.
For one thing, they marry later; for another thing,
they die earlier.
- H. L. Mencken

Men have always detested women's gossip
because they suspect the truth:
their measurements are being taken and compared.
- Erica Jong

Bachelors know more about women than married men;
if they didn't they'd be married too.
- H. L. Mencken

Men and women are not prisoners of fate,
but only prisoners of their own minds.
- Franklin D. Roosevelt

Love men and women not for their strength
but their softness,
not for their fullness but their hunger,
not for their plenty but their need.
- Anais Nin
(paraphrase)

There's three things men always talk about -
women,
sports, and cars.
- Mario Lopez

Achievement seems to be connected with action.
Successful men and women keep moving.
They make mistakes, but they don't quit.
- Conrad Hilton

Women must try to do things as men have tried.
When they fail their failure must be
but a challenge to others.
- Amelia Earhart

Sometimes I wonder if men and women really suit each other.
Perhaps they should live next door and just visit now and then.
- Katharine Hepburn

We must make it clear that a platform
of "I hate gay men and women'
is not a way to become president of the United States.
- Jimmy Carter

Men kick friendship around like a football,
but it doesn't seem to crack.
Women treat it like glass and it goes to pieces.
- Anne Morrow Lindbergh

Ironically, women who acquire power are more likely
to be criticized for it than are the men who have always had it.
- Carolyn Heilbrun

Too often the great decisions are originated and given form
in bodies made up wholly of men, or so completely dominated
by them that whatever of special value women
have to offer is shunted aside without expression.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

There can be no equality or opportunity if men and
women and children be not shielded in their lives from
the consequences of great industrial and social processes which they cannot alter,
control, or singly cope with.
- Woodrow Wilson

Here in America we are descended in blood
and in spirit from revolutionists and rebels.
Men and women who dare to dissent from accepted doctrine.
As their heirs, may we never confuse
honest dissent with disloyal subversion.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

Why in almost all societies have married women specialized
in bearing and rearing children and in certain agricultural activities,
whereas married men have done most of the fighting and market work?
- Gary Becker

Fear of serious injury alone cannot justify oppression
of free speech and assembly.
Men feared witches and burnt women.
It is the function of speech to free men from the bondage of irrational fears.
- Louis D. Brandeis

All successful people men and women are big dreamers.
They imagine what their future could be,
ideal in every respect,
and then they work every day toward
their distant vision,
that goal or purpose.
- Brian Tracy

Women eat while they are talking; men talk while they are eating.
- Malcolm De Chazal

The myth of black women profiting at the expense of
black men is the oldest rap around.
- Johnnetta Betsch Cole

When a battle for suffrage is conducted,
it should only be conducted according to socialist principles,
and therefore with the demand of universal suffrage for women and men.
- Clara Zetkin

I do not wish women to have power over men;
but over themselves.
- Mary Wollstonecraft Shelley

I like writing about women, weak and strong,
pathetic and heroic.
I like writing about men, ditto.
And all the variants of men and women,
beasts and demons.
- Tanith Lee

There are three things men can do with women:
love them,
suffer for them, or turn them into literature.
- Stephen Stills

Men like women who write.
Even though they don't say so.
A writer is a foreign country.
- Marguerite Duras

Why is it men are permitted to be obsessed about their work,
but women are only permitted to be obsessed about men?
- Barbra Streisand

There's no doubt that Mexican men and women full of dignity,
willpower and a capacity for work are doing the work
that not even blacks want to do in the United States.
- Vicente Fox

I identify with women more than men.
I guess I have a strong feminine side.
- Lenny Kravitz

A writer who presents men and women as creatures truncated
below the waist is exposed as one who goes about without his trousers saying,
'see, I have had my testicles removed.'
- Norman Lindsay

Men are motivated and empowered when they feel needed.
Women are motivated and empowered when they feel cherished.
- John Gray

I'm glad I'm not bisexual.
I couldn't stand being rejected by men as well as women.
- Bernard Manning

When men reach their sixties and retire,
they go to pieces.
Women go right on cooking.
- Gail Sheehy

When women go wrong, men go right after them.
- Mae West

No poll can equal the day-to-day visits of the men
and women of the Democratic Party.
- Richard J. Daley

Legitimate revolution must be led by,
made by those who have been most oppressed:
black,
brown, yellow, red, and white women-with men relating
to that the best they can.
- Robin Morgan

We are the women men warned us about.
- Robin Morgan

The marvel of all history is the patience with which
men and women submit to burdens unnecessarily laid
upon them by their governments.
- George Washington

It is little men know of women; their smiles and their
tears alike are seldom what they seem.
- Amelia Barr

That was not what men and women fought for during the war.
- Barbara Castle

There are so many great players on the men's -
and women's -
side.
Hopefully I can keep improving and eventually play in the Masters.
- Michelle Wie

I think that over the years, whether they want to admit it or not,
people have to admit that the women astronauts have
performed just as well as the men astronauts.
- Shannon Lucid

There are certain men and women who,
from the minute they step in front of a camera,
that's exactly where they belong.
Connery's one.
- F. Murray Abraham

I've come to learn that there is a real difference between men and women.
It's genetic.
- Sharon Gless

Men and women were declared equal one morning and everybody
could divorce each other by postcard.
- Kate Millett

If women would today would rise en masse and demand their emancipation,
the men would be compelled to grant it.
- Victoria Woodhull

I have faith the men and women of the Coast Guard will
immediately rise to the challenge and see the people
hit by Katrina through until the storm has truly calmed.
- Dave Reichert

Women, as they grow older, rely more and more on cosmetics.
Men, as they grow older, rely more and more on a sense of humor.
- George Jean Nathan

It's amazing to me that, in the 42 years since President
Kennedy signed the Equal Pay Act into law,
women today still receive fewer wages than men for the same work.
- Mike Honda

There is one thing women can never take away from men.
We die sooner.
- P. J. O'Rourke

The valor and courage of our young women and men in
the armed services are a shining example to all of the world,
and we owe them and their families our deepest respect.
- Bill Frist

Plain women know more about men than beautiful women do.
- Katharine Hepburn

"Women's fashion" is a euphemism for fashion created by men for women.
- Andrea Dworkin

The one thing that men and women have in common -
they both like the company of men.
- Michael Douglas

While women certainly have made great strides toward
pay parity in the past 30 years,
there is still a gap in earnings between men and women
in equivalent professions.
- Ginny B. Waite

Women have a favorite room, men a favorite chair.
- Bern Williams

Our championship committee pledged to review entry
conditions and to assess how women golfers might compete
on equal terms with men for a place in the Open.
- Peter Dawson

I don't know any women who don't think about what they look like,
and I don't know any men who don't think about what women look like.
- Stanley Crouch

It is essential that men start being interested in
and excited by how women think.
- Holly Near

You can tell the strength of a nation by the women behind its men.
- Benjamin Disraeli

Men and women, women and men.
It will never work.
- Erica Jong

As is the case with many Middle Eastern nations,
women are nowhere near equal to men when it comes to
basic freedoms and rights that we take for granted every day.
- Ginny B. Waite

Some men have a silly theory about beautiful women -
that somewhere along the line they'll turn into a monster.
That movie gave them a chance to watch it happen.
- Salma Hayek

Women will never be as successful as men because they
have no wives to advise them.
- Dick Van Dyke


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