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Funny Measurement Quotes
Funny Quotes about Measurement

Let these funny Measurement Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

One accurate measurement is worth a thousand expert opinions.
- Grace Hopper

Love is the total absence of fear.
Love asks no questions.
Its natural state is one of extension and expansion,
not comparison and measurement.
- Gerald Jampolsky

Men have always detested women's gossip
because they suspect the truth:
their measurements are being taken and compared.
- Erica Jong

Women want mediocre men,
and men are working to be as mediocre as possible.
- Margaret Mead


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A man likes his wife to be
just clever enough to appreciate his cleverness,
and just stupid enough to admire it.
- Israel Zangwill

Here's a toast to your new bride who has everything a girl
could want in her life, except for good taste in men.
- Anonymous

Men always want to be a woman's first love -
women like to be a man's last romance.
- Oscar Wilde


 

Women marry men hoping they will change.
Men marry women hoping they will not.
- Albert Einstein

It's not the men in your life that counts,
it's the life in your men.
- Mae West, in the movie I'm No Angel

The greatest deception men suffer is from their own opinions.
- Leonardo da Vinci

Women who seek to be equal with men lack ambition.
- Marilyn Monroe

I begin with the principle that all men are bores.
Surely no one will prove himself
so great a bore as to contradict me in this.
- Soren Kierkegaard

Thank God men cannot fly, and lay waste
the sky as well as the earth.
- Henry David Thoreau

If God listened to the prayers of men,
all men would quickly have perished:
for they are forever praying for evil against one another.
- Epicurus

Our scientific power has outrun our spiritual power.
We have guided missiles and misguided men.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

It is an interesting question how far men
would retain their relative rank
if they were divested of their clothes.
- Henry David Thoreau

Most men lead lives of quiet desperation
and go to the grave with the song still in them.
- Henry David Thoreau

It has always been a mystery to me
how men can feel themselves honored
by the humiliation of their fellow beings.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Men have become the tools of their tools.
- Henry David Thoreau

Force always attracts men of low morality.
- Albert Einstein

Few men have virtue to withstand the highest bidder.
- George Washington

She's been diagnosed as a paranoid hypochondriac.
Doctors think she may be faking.
- the movie Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid

In every society some men are born to rule,
and some to advise.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

In critical moments men sometimes see
exactly what they wish to see.
- the character Spock of the television series Star Trek

I think men who have a pierced ear
are better prepared for marriage.
They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.
- Rita Rudner

My plan was to kiss her with every lip on my face.
- the movie Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid

History teaches us that men and nations behave wisely
only after they have exhausted all other alternatives.
- Abba Eban

I don't advise a haircut, man.
All hairdressers are in the employment of the government.
Hairs are your aerials.
They pick up signals from the cosmos,
and transmit them directly into the brain.
This is the reason bald-headed men are uptight.
- the movie Withnail & I

The means by which we live have outdistanced
the ends for which we live.
Our scientific power has outrun our spiritual power.
We have guided missiles and misguided men.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

Tolerance is the first principle of community;
it is the spirit which conserves
the best that all men think.
- Helen Keller

The only thing necessary for evil to triumph
is for enough good men to do nothing.
- Edmund Burke

When It's Darkest, Men See the Stars.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

While civilization has been improving our houses,
it has not equally improved
the men who are to inhabit them.
It has created palaces, but it was
not so easy to create noblemen and kings.
- Henry David Thoreau

Nearly all men can stand adversity,
but if you want to test a man's character, give him power.
- Abraham Lincoln

It takes time to persuade men to do even
what is for their own good.
- Thomas Jefferson

One machine can do the work of fifty ordinary men.
No machine can do the work of one extraordinary man.
- Elbert Hubbard

The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation.
- Henry David Thoreau

Every kind of peaceful cooperation among men
is primarily based on mutual trust
and only secondarily on institutions
such as courts of justice and police.
- Albert Einstein

I look only to the good qualities of men.
Not being faultless myself,
I won't presume to probe into the faults of others.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Who never walks save where he sees
men's tracks, makes no discoveries.
- J. G. Holland

It is not work that kills men; it is worry.
Worry is rust upon the blade.
- Henry Ward Beecher

Men never do evil so completely and cheerfully
as when they do it from religious conviction.
- Blaise Pascal

The revelation of thought takes men
out of servitude into freedom.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

We who lived in concentration camps can remember the men
who walked through the huts comforting others,
giving away their last piece of bread...
They offer sufficient proof that everything
can be taken from a man but one thing:
to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances,
to choose one's own way.
- Viktor E. Frankl

The problems of the world cannot possibly
be solved by skeptics or cynics
whose horizons are limited by the obvious realities.
We need men who can dream of things that never were.
- John F. Kennedy

My heart bleeds at the death of every one of our gallant men.
- Robert E. Lee

A person is smart. People are dumb,
panicky dangerous animals and you know it.
Fifteen hundred years ago everybody knew
the Earth was the center of the universe.
Five hundred years ago,
everybody knew the Earth was flat,
and fifteen minutes ago,
you knew that humans were alone on this planet.
Imagine what you'll know tomorrow.
- the movie Men in Black

There is a good ear, in some men,
that draws supplies to virtue
out of very indifferent nutriment.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Fourscore and seven years ago
our fathers brought forth on this continent,
a new nation, conceived in Liberty,
and dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal.
- Abraham Lincoln

Good men must not obey the laws too well.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Nothing astonishes men so much as common sense and plain dealing.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

The heresy of one age becomes the orthodoxy of the next.
Mere tolerance has given place to a sentiment of brotherhood
between sincere men of all denominations.
- Helen Keller

Men in general judge more from
appearances than from reality. All
men have eyes, but few have
the gift of penetration.
- Niccolo Machiavelli

Timid men prefer the calm of despotism
to the tempestuous sea of liberty.
- Thomas Jefferson

We believe that if men have the talent
to invent new machines that put men out of work,
they have the talent to put those men back to work.
- John F. Kennedy

Most men pursue pleasure with such breathless haste
that they hurry past it.
- Soren Kierkegaard

Just as a candle cannot burn without fire,
men cannot live without a spiritual life.
- The Buddha

The reason why men do not obey us,
is because they see the mud at the bottom of our eye.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Behind an able man there are always other able men.
- Chinese proverb

There are times, sir, when men of good conscience
cannot blindly follow orders.
- Captain Picard, STAR TREK: The Next Generation

When men are easy in their circumstances,
they are naturally enemies to innovations.
- Joseph Addison

The difference between men friends and women friends
is that men tend to do things together,
women tend to just be together.
- Art Jahnke

Trust men and they will be true to you;
treat them greatly and they will show themselves great.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

As our enemies have found, we can reason like men,
so now let us show them we can fight like men also.
- Thomas Jefferson

Men love to wonder, and that is the seed of science.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

An association of men who will not quarrel with one another
is a thing which has never yet existed,
from the greatest confederacy of nations
down to a town meeting or a vestry.
- Thomas Jefferson

Difficulties show men what they are.
In case of any difficulty,
remember that God has pitted you
against a rough antagonist
that you may be a conqueror,
and this cannot be without toil.
- Epictetus

Habits age men before their time.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Men and women are not prisoners of fate,
but only prisoners of their own minds.
- Franklin D. Roosevelt

We must make it clear that a platform
of "I hate gay men and women'
is not a way to become president of the United States.
- Jimmy Carter

Employ your time in improving yourself by other men's writings,
so that you shall gain easily what others have labored hard for.
- Socrates


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


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