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Funny Maintain Quotes
Funny Quotes about Maintain

Let these funny Maintain Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends
is that three out of four murders
are committed by people who know the victim.
- George Carlin

Let me give you a definition of ethics:
It is good to maintain and further life
it is bad to damage and destroy life.
- Albert Schweitzer

Maintain a balance between skepticism and faith.
Maintain a beginner mind. Be open to possibility.
Don't give in to skepticism,
but don't give in to fantasy either.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Innocence isn't ever lost completely;
we just need to maintain our goodness to regain it.
- Jewel


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The very nature of the world is constant change.
You set a goal and create a plan to achieve it;
then the assumptions on which you
based your plan change - they always do.
The challenge is to retain your goals
while adapting your tactics.
Relax and stay flexible in order to reach
your goals and maintain your happiness.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Being part of the natural world reminds me
that innocence isn't ever lost completely;
we just need to maintain our goodness to regain it.
- Jewel

Constant development is the law of life,
and a man who always tries to maintain his dogmas
in order to appear consistent
drives himself into a false position.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi


 

To oppose something is to maintain it.
- Ursula K. Le Guin

We must develop and maintain the capacity to forgive.
He who is devoid of the power to forgive
is devoid of the power to love.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

Ecstasy is our very nature;
not to be ecstatic is simply unnecessary.
To be ecstatic is natural, spontaneous.
It needs no effort to be ecstatic,
it needs great effort to be miserable.
That's why you look to tired,
because misery is really hard work;
to maintain it is really difficult,
because you are doing something against nature.
- Osho

We must develop and maintain the capacity to forgive.
He who is devoid of the power to forgive
is devoid of the power to love.
There is some good in the worst of us
and some evil in the best of us.
When we discover this, we are less prone to hate our enemies.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

Those who are highly evolved,
maintain an undiscriminating perception.
Seeing everything, labeling nothing,
they maintain their awareness of the Great Oneness.
Thus they are supported by it.
- Lao Tzu

Don't interfere with anything in the Constitution.
That must be maintained, for it is
the only safeguard of our liberties.
- Abraham Lincoln

Everything deep is also simple
and can be reproduced simply
as long as its reference
to the whole truth is maintained.
But what matters is not what is witty
but what is true.
- Albert Schweitzer

Do not let what you cannot do
interfere with what you can do.
- John Wooden

Don't let schooling interfere with your education.
- Mark Twain

Don't let what you cannot do
interfere with what you can do.
- John Wooden

I'm actually starting to like more and more people
who have convictions that are unpopular.
Now at what point does an unpopular conviction
interfere with your own human rights?
Forced female circumcision, for instance.
The Catholic Church's stance on contraception.
The list goes on. You know, God has some really weird kids,
and I find it hard to be in their company most of the time.
- Bono

Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits
and then complain that he's not the man she married?
- Barbra Streisand

"It's not that important,
don't worry about it" is the answer,
now what was the question?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Live life on the edge, not with an edge.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

It's not the size of the dog in the fight,
it's the size of the fight in the dog.
- Mark Twain

If you are not one of us, you are one of them.
- the movie The Matrix (1999)

Be careful not to do your good deeds
when there's no one watching you.
- Tom Lehrer

Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love.
- Albert Einstein

Mr. President, I'm not saying we wouldn't get our hair mussed.
But I do say no more than ten to twenty million killed, tops.
Uh, depending on the breaks.
- the movie Dr. Strangelove

DON'T get officious.
You're not yourself when you're officious -
That is the curse of a government job.
- the movie Harold and Maude (1971)

Yield to temptation. It may not pass your way again.
- Robert A. Heinlein

Never argue at the dinner table, for the one who is not hungry
always gets the best of the argument.
- Voltaire

I'm not used to feeling so human.
Is it always like this?
- Edward, from Twilight Saga by Stephenie Meyer

I'm not talking about lust.
A woman in lust wants chocolate.
A woman in love wants diamonds.
- the movie How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days

No man is truly married until he understands
every word his wife is NOT saying.
- Anonymous

Two things are infinite:
the universe and human stupidity;
and I'm not sure about the universe.
- Albert Einstein

Yeah I called her up. She gave me a bunch of ...
about me not listening to her, or something.
I don't know, I wasn't really paying attention.
- the movie Dumb & Dumber (1994)

Be thankful we're not getting all the government we're paying for.
- Will Rogers

One does not leave a convivial party before closing time.
- Winston Churchill

Personally, I'm always ready to learn,
although I do not always like being taught.
- Winston Churchill

If at first you don't succeed,
skydiving is not for you.
- Anonymous

In order to be happy with a man,
you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot
and not try to understand her at all.
- Helen Rowland

I care not much for a man's religion
whose dog and cat are not the better for it.
- Abraham Lincoln

Do not marry a man to reform him.
That is what reform schools are for.
- Mae West

I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are missing.
- Anonymous

It's not the men in your life that counts,
it's the life in your men.
- Mae West, in the movie I'm No Angel

The key is, to not think of death as an end,
but as more of a very effective way to cut down on your expenses.
- the movie Love and Death

When you fish for love, bait with your heart, not your brain.
- Mark Twain

It's not as great a day for the bride as she thinks.
She's not marrying the best man.
- Anonymous

Damn it boss, I like you too much not to say it.
You've got everything except one thing: madness!
- the movie Zorba The Greek

Women marry men hoping they will change.
Men marry women hoping they will not.
- Albert Einstein

Marriage is a fine institution -
but I'm not ready for an institution yet.
- Mae West

The most important words in the English language
are not "I love you" but "It's benign."
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry

The mind is not a vessel to be filled
but a fire to be kindled.
- Plutarch

Am I not destroying my enemies
when I make friends of them?
- Abraham Lincoln

Too often the strong, silent man is silent only because
he does not know what to say, and is reputed strong
only because he has remained silent.
- Winston Churchill

If you can not answer a man's argument,
all is not lost; you can still call him vile names.
- Elbert Hubbard

Science is a wonderful thing
if one does not have to earn one's living at it.
- Albert Einstein

Do not use a hatchet to remove
a fly from your friend's forehead.
- Chinese Proverb

I want to be the white man's brother, not his brother-in-law.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

The function of muscle is to pull and not to push,
except in the case of the genitals and the tongue.
- Leonardo da Vinci

Ending a sentence with a preposition is
something up with which I will not put.
- Winston Churchill

Morality which depends upon the helplessness
of a man or woman has not much to recommend it.
Morality is rooted in the purity of our hearts.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

The trouble with the world is not
that people know too little,
but that they know so many things that ain't so.
- Mark Twain

The only advantage of not being too good a housekeeper
is that your guests are so pleased
to feel how very much better they are.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

I am not young enough to know everything.
- Oscar Wilde

The most difficult phase of life
is not when no one understands you,
it is when you don't understand yourself.
- Anonymous

People who say it cannot be done should not
interrupt those who are doing it.
- George Bernard Shaw

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our Light, not our Darkness, that most frightens us.
- Marianne Williamson

We are finally driven to monogamy
not by morality but by exhaustion.
- Erica Jong

Do not laugh much or often or unrestrainedly.
- Epictetus

The lawyer's truth is not Truth,
but consistency or a consistent expediency.
- Henry David Thoreau

It's not a mess.
It's a physical manifestation of
a wonderfully complex ability to
assess and compartmentalize information.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

Though I am a servant, I am not your servant.
- Ursula K. Le Guin


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- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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