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Let these funny Lusty Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
Youth, large, lusty, loving -
Youth, full of grace, force, fascination.
Do you know that Old Age may come after you
with equal grace, force, fascination?
- Walt Whitman
I'm not talking about lust.
A woman in lust wants chocolate.
A woman in love wants diamonds.
- the movie How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days
I will far rather see the race of man extinct
than that we should become less than beasts
by making the noblest of God's creation,
woman, the object of our lust.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
Friendship often leads to love,
but lust seldom leads to friendship.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
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Let us all be brave enough
to die the death of a martyr,
but let no one lust for martyrdom.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits
and then complain that he's not the man she married?
- Barbra Streisand
Be careful not to do your good deeds
when there's no one watching you.
- Tom Lehrer
If you are not one of us, you are one of them.
- the movie The Matrix (1999)
Live life on the edge, not with an edge.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
"It's not that important,
don't worry about it" is the answer,
now what was the question?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
It's not the size of the dog in the fight,
it's the size of the fight in the dog.
- Mark Twain
Two things are infinite:
the universe and human stupidity;
and I'm not sure about the universe.
- Albert Einstein
Yield to temptation. It may not pass your way again.
- Robert A. Heinlein
One does not leave a convivial party before closing time.
- Winston Churchill
Never argue at the dinner table, for the one who is not hungry
always gets the best of the argument.
- Voltaire
No man is truly married until he understands
every word his wife is NOT saying.
- Anonymous
Be thankful we're not getting all the government we're paying for.
- Will Rogers
Damn it boss, I like you too much not to say it.
You've got everything except one thing: madness!
- the movie Zorba The Greek
When you fish for love, bait with your heart, not your brain.
- Mark Twain
It's not as great a day for the bride as she thinks.
She's not marrying the best man.
- Anonymous
Mr. President, I'm not saying we wouldn't get our hair mussed.
But I do say no more than ten to twenty million killed, tops.
Uh, depending on the breaks.
- the movie Dr. Strangelove
DON'T get officious.
You're not yourself when you're officious -
That is the curse of a government job.
- the movie Harold and Maude (1971)
I'm not used to feeling so human.
Is it always like this?
- Edward, from Twilight Saga by Stephenie Meyer
I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are missing.
- Anonymous
Do not marry a man to reform him.
That is what reform schools are for.
- Mae West
Women marry men hoping they will change.
Men marry women hoping they will not.
- Albert Einstein
The most important words in the English language
are not "I love you" but "It's benign."
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry
The key is, to not think of death as an end,
but as more of a very effective way to cut down on your expenses.
- the movie Love and Death
It's not the men in your life that counts,
it's the life in your men.
- Mae West, in the movie I'm No Angel
Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love.
- Albert Einstein
I care not much for a man's religion
whose dog and cat are not the better for it.
- Abraham Lincoln
If at first you don't succeed,
skydiving is not for you.
- Anonymous
Yeah I called her up. She gave me a bunch of ...
about me not listening to her, or something.
I don't know, I wasn't really paying attention.
- the movie Dumb & Dumber (1994)
Marriage is a fine institution -
but I'm not ready for an institution yet.
- Mae West
Personally, I'm always ready to learn,
although I do not always like being taught.
- Winston Churchill
In order to be happy with a man,
you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot
and not try to understand her at all.
- Helen Rowland
It's not much of a tail, but I'm sort of attached to it.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)
The faith that stands on authority is not faith.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
A positive attitude may not solve all your problems,
but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort.
- Herm Albright
A ship in harbor is safe -
but that is not what ships are for.
- John A. Shedd
Delusion: belief said to be false by someone who does not share it.
- Thomas Szasz
Silence is not always a Sign of Wisdom,
but Babbling is ever a folly.
- Benjamin Franklin
The trouble with the world is not
that people know too little,
but that they know so many things that ain't so.
- Mark Twain
Ending a sentence with a preposition is
something up with which I will not put.
- Winston Churchill
Do not bite at the bait of pleasure,
till you know there is no hook beneath it.
- Thomas Jefferson
The man who does not read good books
has no advantage over the man who cannot read them.
- Mark Twain
People who say it cannot be done should not
interrupt those who are doing it.
- George Bernard Shaw
For centuries, theologians have been explaining
the unknowable in terms of the-not-worth-knowing.
- H. L. Mencken
Time you enjoy wasting, was not wasted.
- John Lennon
When I want to be bold about my movement ...
I for sure do not call it exercise!
- Mary Anne Radmacher
The most difficult phase of life
is not when no one understands you,
it is when you don't understand yourself.
- Anonymous
Man's nature is not essentially evil.
Brute nature has been known to
yield to the influence of love.
You must never despair of human nature.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
If you ask me anything I don't know,
I'm not going to answer.
- Yogi Berra
Morality which depends upon the helplessness
of a man or woman has not much to recommend it.
Morality is rooted in the purity of our hearts.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
Do not use a hatchet to remove
a fly from your friend's forehead.
- Chinese Proverb
Do not laugh much or often or unrestrainedly.
- Epictetus
As far as the laws of mathematics
refer to reality, they are not certain,
and as far as they are certain,
they do not refer to reality.
- Albert Einstein
The function of muscle is to pull and not to push,
except in the case of the genitals and the tongue.
- Leonardo da Vinci
The lawyer's truth is not Truth,
but consistency or a consistent expediency.
- Henry David Thoreau
If Christ were here now there is one thing
he would not be - a Christian.
- Mark Twain
Faith: not wanting to know what is true.
- Friedrich Nietzsche
Only two things are infinite,
the universe and human stupidity,
and I'm not sure about the former.
- Albert Einstein
I think that there is nothing, not even crime,
more opposed to poetry, to philosophy, ay, to life itself
than this incessant business.
- Henry David Thoreau
It's not very heroic to slay dragons.
Dragons are generally very peaceful and well behaved.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Do not speak to me of rules.
This is war! This is not a game of cricket!
- from the movie The Bridge On The River Kwai
Confused Memories of Childhood:
Hate to my father, cruel hate,
confused with love - a mix not great.
The man I love - the man I hate;
the man I want to emulate.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The holy passion of Friendship is of so sweet
and steady and loyal and enduring a nature
that it will last through a whole lifetime,
if not asked to lend money.
- Mark Twain
It is only the poor who pay cash,
and that not from virtue,
but because they are refused credit.
- Anatole France
Am I not destroying my enemies
when I make friends of them?
- Abraham Lincoln
Too often the strong, silent man is silent only because
he does not know what to say, and is reputed strong
only because he has remained silent.
- Winston Churchill
If you can not answer a man's argument,
all is not lost; you can still call him vile names.
- Elbert Hubbard
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.