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Funny Quotes about Life
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Funny Likely Quotes
Funny Quotes about Likely

Let these funny Likely Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

Any statement that is self-serving
is likely to contain untruths.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

If we hope for what we are not likely to possess,
we act and think in vain,
and make life a greater dream and shadow than it really is.
- Joseph Addison

All other things being equal,
the simplest explanation is the most likely.
- a statement of Occam's Razor

A widespread belief is more often likely
to be foolish than sensible.
- Bertrand Russell


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We seek opinions that are likely to
support what we want to be true.
- Thomas Gilovich

Working at a job you hate is unlikely
to bring you either happiness or success.
Do what you love. You are far more likely to gain success -
recognition and financial reward - if you are working
at something that inspires and excites you.
And, whether wealth follows or not, you will be happy.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Everyone has an opinion on many subjects
and is ready to share those opinions -
labeling them as "truth."
Sometimes it is relatively easy
to filter out these opinions.
Upon hearing an ad for the latest
weight-loss powder on late-night TV,
our skepticism leaps to our defense.
However, if we have heard the same opinion for years
from our parents, friends,
government officials, or religious leaders,
we are more likely to believe without questioning
than to raise our filter of skepticism
and ask the hard questions.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


 

A nation which has forgotten the quality of courage
which in the past has been brought to public life
is not as likely to insist upon or regard
that quality in its chosen leaders today -
and in fact we have forgotten.
- John F. Kennedy

There never was and is not likely soon to be
a nation of philosophers,
nor am I certain it is desirable that there should be.
- Henry David Thoreau

A young man who does not have what
it takes to perform military service
is not likely to have what
it takes to make a living.
Today's military rejects include
tomorrow's hard-core unemployed.
- John F. Kennedy

Yesterday is like a dung heap;
you can complain about the smell,
or you can use it to fertilize tomorrow's garden.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Life is like a ten speed bicycle.
Most of us have gears we never use.
- Charles M. Schulz

Life is like jumping out of an airplane without a parachute -
only the last couple seconds are fatal,
but most people are scared to death the whole way down.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Nothing echoes like an empty mailbox.
- Charles M. Schulz' cartoon Peanuts

When you are courting a nice girl
an hour seems like a second.
When you sit on a red-hot cinder
a second seems like an hour.
That's relativity.
- Albert Einstein

If I had known what it would be like to have it all -
I might have been willing to settle for less.
- Lily Tomlin

It looks like we're up chocolate creek without a Popsicle stick!
- the movie Shrek 2 (2004)

Personally, I'm always ready to learn,
although I do not always like being taught.
- Winston Churchill

Love is like an hourglass,
with the heart filling up as the brain empties.
- Jules Renard

Damn it boss, I like you too much not to say it.
You've got everything except one thing: madness!
- the movie Zorba The Greek

Love is like war: easy to begin but very hard to stop.
- H. L. Mencken

One cannot have everything the way he would like it.
A man has no business to be depressed by a disappointment,
anyway; he ought to make up his mind to get even.
- Mark Twain

I'm not used to feeling so human.
Is it always like this?
- Edward, from Twilight Saga by Stephenie Meyer

I think you're the opposite of a paranoid.
I think you go around with the insane delusion that people like you.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry

I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell -
you see, I have friends in both places.
- Mark Twain

Marriage is like putting your hand into a bag of snakes
in the hope of pulling out an eel.
- Leonardo da Vinci

Life's like Vegas. You're up, you're down,
but in the end the house always wins.
Doesn't mean you didn't have fun.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry

Husbands should be like Kleenex:
soft, strong, and disposable.
- the movie Clue (1985)

A man's friendships are, like his will,
invalidated by marriage -
but they are also no less invalidated
by the marriage of his friends.
- Samuel Butler

A relationship, I think, is like a shark.
You know? It has to constantly move forward or it dies.
And I think what we got on our hands is a dead shark.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall (1977)

It's cookies, he smells like cookies,
and the smell gets stronger when he's in heat.
- the movie Michael

I'd like to kiss ya, but I just washed ma hair.
- the movie The Cabin in the Cotton

A honeymoon should be like a table:
four bare legs and no drawers.
- Anonymous

Men always want to be a woman's first love -
women like to be a man's last romance.
- Oscar Wilde

Nothing takes the taste out of peanut butter
quite like unrequited love.
- Charlie Brown in Charles M. Schulz' Peanuts comic

His answer trickled through my head like water through a sieve.
- Lewis Carroll

Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.
- Groucho Marx

Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute and it
seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour
and it seems like a minute. That's relativity.
- Albert Einstein

Families are like fudge... mostly sweet with a few nuts.
- Anonymous

An excellent man;
he has no enemies;
and none of his friends like him.
- Oscar Wilde

Marriage is an adventure, like going to war.
- Gilbert (G. K.) Chesterton

Too many people spend money they haven't earned,
to buy things they don't want,
to impress people they don't like.
- Will Rogers

Twinkle, twinkle little bat
How I wonder what you're at!
Up above the world you fly,
Like a tea-tray in the sky.
- Lewis Carroll

I know that there are people who do not love their fellow man,
and I hate people like that!
- Tom Lehrer

Getting married is a lot like getting into a tub of hot water.
After you get used to it, it ain't so hot.
- Minnie Pearl

I'm sure we all agree that we ought to love one another
and I know there are people in the world
that do not love their fellow human beings
and I HATE people like that.
- Tom Lehrer

Gods always behave like the people who make them.
- Zora Neale Hurston

Procrastination is like a credit card:
it's a lot of fun until you get the bill.
- Christopher Parker

Life is like a sewer...
what you get out of it depends on what you put into it.
- Tom Lehrer

I have spent many years of my life in opposition,
and I rather like the role.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

Life is like a roller coaster - scream Whee... on the way down,
and let the momentum carry you back up the next hill.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I don't like to think of laws
as rules you have to follow,
but more as suggestions.
- George Carlin

There is so much that must be done
in a civilized barbarism like war.
- Amelia Earhart

Politics is like football; if you see daylight, go through the hole.
- John F. Kennedy

I want a girl just like good old mom,
who is different in every way.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Contrary to general belief,
I do not believe that friends are necessarily
the people you like best,
they are merely the people who got there first.
- Peter Ustinov

Against logic there is no armor like ignorance.
- Laurence J. Peter

Self confident independent thinker -
sounds like the makings of a hero.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

It's so sweet, I feel like my teeth
are rotting when I listen to the radio.
- Bono

It's like deja-vu, all over again.
- Yogi Berra

Computers are like Old Testament gods;
lots of rules and no mercy.
- Joseph Campbell

Being a leader is like being a lady,
if you have to go around telling people you are one, you aren't.
- Margaret Thatcher

Bureaucrats: they are dead at 30 and buried at 60.
They are like custard pies; you can't nail them to a wall.
- Frank Lloyd Wright

When life is like a slippery downhill slope,
go skiing and scream Whee... all the way down.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Always remember that you are absolutely unique.
Just like everyone else.
- Margaret Mead

Things have never been more like the way they are today in history.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

The feeling of friendship is like that
of being comfortably filled with roast beef;
love, like being enlivened with champagne.
- Samuel Johnson

You can always tell when a man's well informed.
His views are pretty much like your own.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

I like a man who grins when he fights.
- Winston Churchill

A wedding is just like a funeral
except that you get to smell your own flowers.
- Grace Hansen

When I hear a man preach,
I like to see him act as if he were fighting bees.
- Abraham Lincoln


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- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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