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Funny Quotes about Life
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Funny Like You Quotes
Funny Quotes about Like You

Let these funny Like You Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

Yesterday is like a dung heap;
you can complain about the smell,
or you can use it to fertilize tomorrow's garden.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

When you are courting a nice girl
an hour seems like a second.
When you sit on a red-hot cinder
a second seems like an hour.
That's relativity.
- Albert Einstein

I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell -
you see, I have friends in both places.
- Mark Twain

A two-year-old is kind of like having a blender,
but you don't have a top for it.
- Jerry Seinfeld


 

A relationship, I think, is like a shark.
You know? It has to constantly move forward or it dies.
And I think what we got on our hands is a dead shark.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall (1977)

I think you're the opposite of a paranoid.
I think you go around with the insane delusion that people like you.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry

Life's like Vegas. You're up, you're down,
but in the end the house always wins.
Doesn't mean you didn't have fun.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry


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Damn it boss, I like you too much not to say it.
You've got everything except one thing: madness!
- the movie Zorba The Greek

Always remember that you are absolutely unique.
Just like everyone else.
- Margaret Mead

A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.
- Steve Martin

Life is like a roller coaster - scream Whee... on the way down,
and let the momentum carry you back up the next hill.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Life is like a sewer...
what you get out of it depends on what you put into it.
- Tom Lehrer

Procrastination is like a credit card:
it's a lot of fun until you get the bill.
- Christopher Parker

Politics is like football; if you see daylight, go through the hole.
- John F. Kennedy

A wedding is just like a funeral
except that you get to smell your own flowers.
- Grace Hansen

I don't like to think of laws
as rules you have to follow,
but more as suggestions.
- George Carlin

Getting married is a lot like getting into a tub of hot water.
After you get used to it, it ain't so hot.
- Minnie Pearl

You can always tell when a man's well informed.
His views are pretty much like your own.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

Twinkle, twinkle little bat
How I wonder what you're at!
Up above the world you fly,
Like a tea-tray in the sky.
- Lewis Carroll

Contrary to general belief,
I do not believe that friends are necessarily
the people you like best,
they are merely the people who got there first.
- Peter Ustinov

Bureaucrats: they are dead at 30 and buried at 60.
They are like custard pies; you can't nail them to a wall.
- Frank Lloyd Wright

Being a leader is like being a lady,
if you have to go around telling people you are one, you aren't.
- Margaret Thatcher

Mama always said life was like a box of chocolates.
You never know what you're gonna get.
- the movie Forrest Gump

Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal
with the intent of throwing it at someone else;
you are the one who gets burned.
- The Buddha

Time is a monster that cannot be reasoned with.
It responds like a snail to our impatience,
then it races like a gazelle when you can't catch a breath.
- the movie Simon Birch

Life is like riding a bicycle.
To keep your balance you must keep moving.
- Albert Einstein

I was thinking that I might fly today.
Just to disprove all the things you say...
please be careful with me, I'm sensitive,
and I'd like to stay that way.
- Jewel

A divorce is like an amputation:
you survive it, but there's less of you.
- Margaret Atwood

Farewell My Friend
It was beautiful as long as it lasted
The journey of my life.
I have no regrets whatsoever
save the pain I'll leave behind.
Those dear hearts who love and care...
And the strings pulling at the heart and soul...
The strong arms that held me up
When my own strength let me down.
At every turning of my life
I came across good friends,
Friends who stood by me,
Even when the time raced me by.
Farewell, farewell my friends
I smile and bid you goodbye.
No, shed no tears for I need them not
All I need is your smile.
If you feel sad do think of me
for that's what I'll like
when you live in the hearts
of those you love, remember then
you never die.
- Gitanjali Ghei

Life is like an onion:
you peel it off one layer at a time,
and sometimes you weep.
- Carl Sandburg

Being divorced is like being hit by a Mack truck.
If you live through it, you start looking
very carefully to the right and to the left.
- Jean Kerr

Work like you don't need the money.
Love like you've never been hurt.
Dance like nobody's watching.
- Satchel Paige

When you break up, your whole identity is
shattered. It's like death.
- Dennis Quaid

The person who you're with most in life is yourself
and if you don't like yourself,
you're always with somebody you don't like.
- Marc S. Lewis

Obstacles are like wild animals.
They are cowards but they will bluff you if they can.
If they see you are afraid of them...
they are liable to spring upon you;
but if you look them squarely in the eye,
they will slink out of sight.
- Orison Swett Marden

Revenge is often like biting a dog because the dog bit you.
- Austin O'Malley

In modern war...
you will die like a dog for no good reason.
- Ernest Hemingway

Success is like death.
The more successful you become, the higher the houses
in the hills get and the higer the fences get.
- Kevin Spacey

Spring is when you feel like whistling even with a shoe full of slush.
- Doug Larson

Be careful the environment you choose for it will shape you;
be careful the friends you choose for you will become like them.
- W. Clement Stone

Be careful the friends you choose -
for you will become like them.
- W. Clement Stone

It's like driving a car at night.
You never see further than your headlights,
but you can make the whole trip that way.
- E. L. Doctorow

If you don't like my movies, don't watch them.
- Dario Argento

Treat a work of art like a prince.
Let it speak to you first.
- Arthur Schopenhauer

Worrying is like a rocking chair,
it gives you something to do,
but it gets you nowhere.
- Glenn Turner

Act the way you'd like to be
and soon you'll be the way you act.
- Leonard Cohen

Bodybuilding is much like any other sport.
To be successful, you must dedicate yourself 100% to your training,
diet and mental approach.
- Arnold Schwarzenegger

Like a welcome summer rain, humor may suddenly cleanse and cool the earth,
the air and you.
- Langston Hughes

Feeling good about government is like looking on the
bright side of any catastrophe.
When you quit looking on the bright side,
the catastrophe is still there.
- P. J. O'Rourke

Airplane travel is nature's way of making you look
like your passport photo.
- Al Gore

The way I see it, you should live everyday like its your birthday.
- Paris Hilton

To dream of the person you would like to be
is to waste the person you are.
- Anonymous

If I hadn't met you, I wouldn't like you.
If I didn't like you, I wouldn't love you.
If I didn't love you, I wouldn't miss you.
But I did, I do, and I will.
- Anonymous

I didn't want to marry anybody else in town.
I want my baby to look like you.
- It's a Wonderful Life (1946 movie)

Love interrupts, if you like,
the consequences of your actions,
which in my case is very good news indeed,
because I've done a lot of stupid stuff.
- Bono

Know that time, like life itself, has no inherent meaning.
You give your own meaning to time, as to life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Old age is like everything else.
To make a success of it, you've got to start young.
- Theodore Roosevelt

Love like you've never been hurt,
dance like no one is watching,
live as though heaven is on earth.
- Satchel Paige

Having inner beauty is something you develop on your own,
and I like to think I have that.
- Cindy Margolis

Old age is like a plane flying through a storm.
Once you're aboard, there's nothing you can do.
- Golda Meir

Like an Eagle, May You Always Soar
High Above the Troubles of the World.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Find a job you like and you add five days to every week.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

This is what I like about being a designer:
You can't really get it until you see it.
- Isaac Mizrahi

When someone asks if you'd like cake or pie,
why not say you want cake and pie?
- Lisa Loeb

We don't appreciate what we have until it's gone.
Freedom is like that. It's like air.
When you have it, you don't notice it.
- Boris Yeltsin

Weather means more when you have a garden.
There's nothing like listening to a shower and thinking
how it is soaking in around your green beans.
- Marcelene Cox

Love is like a butterfly,
it settles upon you when you least expect it.
- Anonymous

I just like movies that somehow expose the world in
a way that's different than you imagine it.
- Alex Winter

There is nothing like returning to a place that remains unchanged
to find the ways in which you yourself have altered.
- Nelson Mandela

If a tie is like kissing your sister,
losing is like kissing you grandmother with her teeth out.
- George Brett

Harmony with land is like harmony with a friend;
you cannot cherish his right hand and chop off his left.
- Aldo Leopold


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- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.