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Let these funny Lawyers Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
- Anonymous
Discourage litigation.
Persuade your neighbors to compromise whenever you can.
As a peacemaker the lawyer has
superior opportunity of being a good man.
There will still be business enough.
- Abraham Lincoln
If the present Congress errs in too much talking,
how can it be otherwise in a body to which the people
send one hundred and fifty lawyers,
whose trade it is to question everything,
yield nothing, and talk by the hour?
- Thomas Jefferson
Many of us have been conditioned to trust others' opinions
more than our own, and I believe that sort of trust is excessive.
This is especially true with regard to authority figures -
doctors, lawyers, priests. I trust my doctor's intentions toward me,
but I don't blindly follow his suggestions
without checking other sources also.
He was trained to prescribe a pill for everything,
and does it with the best of intentions,
but I often choose to trust God's quiet voice inside me
rather than my doctor's medical advice.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
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The lawyer's truth is not Truth,
but consistency or a consistent expediency.
- Henry David Thoreau
Trust:
Perhaps you trust your doctor,
your lawyer, your boss - perhaps not.
Perhaps you trust in a "Higher Power" - perhaps you don't.
Trust is something that we become aware of in unusual situations,
such as a once-in-a-lifetime ride on a zip-line,
but most of the time, we become oblivious
to the trust we have, or don't have.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
It is a truth universally acknowledged that
when one part of your life starts going okay,
another falls spectacularly to pieces.
- the movie Bridget Jones Diary
Strike an average between what a woman thinks of her husband
a month before she marries him
and what she thinks of him a year afterward,
and you will have the truth about him.
- H. L. Mencken
A remark generally hurts in proportion to its truth.
- Will Rogers
All people know the same truth.
Our lives consist of how we chose to distort it.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry
If you're going to tell people the truth,
be funny or they'll kill you.
- Billy Wilder
If you are out to describe the truth,
leave elegance to the tailor.
- Albert Einstein
Truth is beautiful, without doubt; but so are lies.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Bad taste is simply saying the truth before it should be said.
- Mel Brooks
My way of joking is telling the truth;
that is the funniest joke in the world.
- George Bernard Shaw
Tell the truth, or someone will tell it for you.
- Stephanie Klein
The pure and simple truth is rarely pure and never simple.
- Oscar Wilde
Truth is stranger than fiction,
but that is because Fiction is obliged
to stick to possibilities; Truth isn't.
- Mark Twain
By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth.
- George Carlin
Man will occasionally stumble over the truth,
but most of the time he will pick himself up and continue on.
- Winston Churchill
Truth is a tendency.
- R. Buckminster Fuller
If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.
- Mark Twain
Always speak the truth,
think before you speak,
and write it down afterwards.
- Lewis Carroll
The rarest quality in an epitaph is truth.
- Henry David Thoreau
When a thing is funny, search it for a hidden truth.
- George Bernard Shaw
Soon we'll be out amid the cold world's strife.
Soon we'll be sliding down the razor blade of life.
But as we go our sordid sep'rate ways,
We shall ne'er forget thee, thou golden college days.
Hearts full of youth,
Hearts full of truth,
Six parts gin to one part vermouth.
- Tom Lehrer - song: Bright College Days,
album: An Evening Wasted With Tom Lehrer
The words of truth are always paradoxical.
- Lao Tzu
Man is least himself when he talks in his own person.
Give him a mask, and he will tell you the truth.
- Oscar Wilde
Use the power of your word
in the direction of truth and love.
- don Miguel Ruiz
The water in a vessel is sparkling;
the water in the sea is dark.
The small truth has words which are clear;
the great truth has great silence.
- Rabindranath Tagore
The truth. It is a beautiful and terrible thing,
and should be treated with caution.
- J. K. Rowling
I am sorry to think that you do not get a man's
most effective criticism until you provoke him.
Severe truth is expressed with some bitterness.
- Henry David Thoreau
We are not afraid to follow truth
wherever it may lead,
nor to tolerate any error
so long as reason is left free to combat it.
- Thomas Jefferson
Intense feeling too often obscures the truth.
- Harry S. Truman
A man must be both stupid and uncharitable
who believes there is no virtue or truth but on his own side.
- Joseph Addison
Our actions are constrained by fear of reprisal,
but our dreams reveal our true character.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
We take refuge in pride,
because we are afraid to tell the truth to ourselves.
- Kakuzo Okakura
Every mind must make its choice
between truth and repose.
It cannot have both.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Truth is absolute, but only to one person.
My truth is absolute to me, and your truth is absolute to you.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
When you are sorrowful, look again in your heart,
and you shall see that in truth
you are weeping for that which has been your delight.
- Khalil Gibran
Having a personal opinion is great.
Believing that one's personal opinion is absolute truth
leads to most of the world's troubles.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The goal of education is the advancement of knowledge
and the dissemination of truth.
- John F. Kennedy
Truth stands, even if there be no public support.
It is self-sustained.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
Even if you are a minority of one,
the truth is the truth.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
An error does not become truth
by reason of multiplied propagation,
nor does truth become error because nobody sees it.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
The truth of the matter is that
you always know the right thing to do.
The hard part is doing it.
- Norman Schwarzkoff
Beauty is truth's smile when she beholds
her own face in a perfect mirror.
- Rabindranath Tagore
The presence of those seeking the truth
is infinitely to be preferred
to the presence of those who think they've found it.
- Terry Pratchett
A day spent without the sight or sound of beauty,
the contemplation of mystery,
or the search of truth or perfection
is a poverty-stricken day; and a succession
of such days is fatal to human life.
- Lewis Mumford
Morality is the basis of things
and truth is the substance of all morality.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
The truth is like a scalpel. The truth is painful.
- don Miguel Ruiz
Losing an illusion makes you wiser than finding a truth.
- Ludwig Boerne
Everything deep is also simple
and can be reproduced simply
as long as its reference
to the whole truth is maintained.
But what matters is not what is witty
but what is true.
- Albert Schweitzer
Whoever undertakes to set himself up
as a judge of Truth and Knowledge
is shipwrecked by the laughter of the gods.
- Albert Einstein
The false can never grow into truth by growing in power.
- Rabindranath Tagore
Love is not a mere sentiment.
Love is the ultimate truth at the heart of creation.
- Rabindranath Tagore
Three things cannot be long hidden:
the sun, the moon, and the truth.
- The Buddha
I am committed to truth, not consistency.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
Truth never damages a cause that is just.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
It's essential to tell the truth at all times.
This will reduce life's pain.
Lying distorts reality.
All forms of distorted thinking must be corrected.
- John Bradshaw
Knowledge of the Truth makes us free
by aligning us with that which was never bound.
- Ernest Holmes
If you have found your truth within yourself
there is nothing more in this whole existence to find.
- Osho
We tell the real truth of our life
by the stories we repeatedly tell.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
The problem with making assumptions
is that we believe they are the truth
- don Miguel Ruiz
Men have always detested women's gossip
because they suspect the truth:
their measurements are being taken and compared.
- Erica Jong
Even the truth, when believed, is a lie.
You must experience the truth, not believe it.
- Werner Erhard
'Tis strange - but true;
for truth is always strange;
Stranger than fiction.
- Lord Byron
About most subjects, there is not "The Truth;"
there is merely one's personal truth.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
To kill an error is as good a service as,
and sometimes even better than,
the establishing of a new truth or fact.
- Charles Darwin
The slavery of fear had made men afraid to think.
But such is the irresistible nature of truth,
that all it asks, and all it wants, is the liberty of appearing.
- Thomas Paine, Rights of Man, 1791
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.