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Let these funny Language Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
The most important words in the English language
are not "I love you" but "It's benign."
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry
The more you explain it, the more I don't understand it.
- Mark Twain
I personally think we developed language
because of our deep need to complain.
- Lily Tomlin
By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth.
- George Carlin
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FEAR is an acronym in the English language
for "False Evidence Appearing Real."
- Neale Donald Walsch
The most dangerous phrase in the language is,
"We've always done it this way."
- Grace Hopper
Kindness is a language which the deaf can hear,
and the blind can see.
- Mark Twain
Most of the fundamental ideas of science
are essentially simple,
and may, as a rule, be expressed
in a language comprehensible to everyone.
- Albert Einstein
Writing is a dance with the uncertainties of language.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
A riot is, at bottom, the language of the unheard.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
The language of excitement is at best picturesque merely.
You must be calm before you can utter oracles.
- Henry David Thoreau
Use what language you will,
you can never say anything but what you are.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
If you talk to a man in a language he understands,
that goes to his head.
If you talk to him in his language,
that goes to his heart.
- Nelson Mandela
We don't have a language for the senses.
Feelings are images,
sensations are like musical sounds.
- Anais Nin
Language... has created the word "loneliness"
to express the pain of being alone.
And it has created the word "solitude"
to express the glory of being alone.
- Paul Tillich
Like music and art, love of nature is a common language
that can transcend political or social boundaries.
- Jimmy Carter
One of the greatest cause of unhappiness -
perhaps even the only cause of unhappiness - is comparison.
I remember as a young child hearing my mother say,
"Comparisons are odious."
That is one of the oldest sayings in the English language,
and one of the most important.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The language of Friendship is not words, but meanings.
It is an intelligence above language.
- Henry David Thoreau
I feel impelled to speak today in a language
that in a sense is new-one which I,
who have spent so much of my life in the military profession,
would have preferred never to use.
That new language is the language of atomic warfare.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
Your purpose is to make your audience see what you saw,
hear what you heard, feel what you felt.
Relevant detail, couched in concrete,
colorful language, is the best way
to recreate the incident as it happened
and to picture it for the audience.
- Dale Carnegie
If what is seen and experienced is portrayed
in the language of logic,
we are engaged in science.
If it is communicated through forms
whose connections are not accessible
to the conscious mind but are
recognized intuitively as meaningful,
then we are engaged in art.
- Albert Einstein
We may have different religions, different
languages, different colored skin,
but we all belong to one human race.
- Kofi Annan
All religions are the same:
Religion is basically guilt, with different holidays.
- Cathy Ladman
I want a girl just like good old mom,
who is different in every way.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The essence of all religions is one.
Only their approaches are different.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
I can't go back to yesterday -
because I was a different person then.
- Lewis Carroll
Sisters are different flowers from the same garden.
- Anonymous
Our honorable and worthy ancestors knew that the world was flat,
motionless, and the center of the universe.
They knew the human body could not withstand
the forces of traveling faster than 19 mph.
They knew that the way to salvation was
exorcising witches and slaying non-believers.
They knew that it was a mortal sin to marry
someone of a different skin color.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
We all live with the objective of being happy;
our lives are all different and yet the same.
- Anne Frank
Suspended between earth and sky,
my humanity draws from both,
my tendrils reach for the energies of each.
Spirit and Ground - equal yet opposite,
the lightness and the solidarity,
the ephemeral and the substantial.
The substantial is no more and no less
than the ephemeral - merely different.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
To be one, to be united is a great thing.
But to respect the right to be different is maybe even greater.
- Bono
People take different roads seeking fulfillment and happiness.
Just because they're not on your road
doesn't mean they've gotten lost.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
We have nearly complete misunderstanding between
people of different faiths in Lake Wobegon,
and that's probably one reason why we get along so very well.
It's when you are trying to convince another person to think
the same way that you do that there is
friction and trouble between people.
But when you feel that the other person is
dumber than dirt, too dumb for words -
why waste your breath - you get along pretty well.
There's no bond between people that's quite so strong as
when people each feel slightly superior towards the other one.
- Garrison Keillor
NO ONE is really different;
each of us is actually a member of the human race.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
If a man does not keep pace with his companions,
perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer.
- Henry David Thoreau
Falling in love and having a relationship
are two different things.
- Keanu Reeves
What people say, what people do,
and what they say they do
are entirely different things.
- Margaret Mead
We are all different - and we are all one.
Take time to understand, and to appreciate.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
It is one thing to say that something should be done,
but quite a different matter to do it.
- Aesop
The things that make me different are the things that make me.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)
Today is a day to choose a different path.
Enjoy the unknown way - one step at a time.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
In choosing joy, the finish line dissolves
into a different matter altogether.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
The definition of insanity is doing the same thing
over and over and expecting different results.
- Albert Einstein
People sort themselves into groups
of happy people and unhappy people
through two different, but complementary mechanisms,
influence and affinity.
I influence those around me
with my emotional state, either happy or unhappy.
At the same time, I feel an affinity
for others who are like me in some way -
in this case by sharing my emotional outlook on life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Celebration has many different outfits
but she always wears the same beautiful dancing shoes.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again
and expecting different results.
- Albert Einstein (attributed)
Identify your assumptions (what you believe).
Question how you feel when you hold those assumptions.
Visualize holding different assumptions.
Ask yourself how it feels to hold a different world-view.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
When was the last time you took
a different route to work ... just because?
Consider shaking up your life a little (or a lot) ...
for no reason, except to do it.
Let your life be an adventure.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Common sense and a sense of humor are the same thing,
moving at different speeds.
A sense of humor is just common sense, dancing.
- William James
Could we change our attitude,
we should not only see life differently,
but life itself would be different.
- Katherine Mansfield
How different our lives are when we
really know what is deeply important to us,
and keeping that picture in mind,
we manage ourselves each day
to be and to do what really matters most
- Stephen Covey
Life and death are one thread,
the same line viewed from different sides.
- Lao Tzu
We become not a melting pot but a beautiful mosaic.
Different people, different beliefs,
different yearnings, different hopes, different dreams.
- Jimmy Carter
Uncertainty that comes from knowledge
(knowing what you don't know)
is different from uncertainty coming from ignorance.
- Isaac Asimov
If you want reality to be different than it is,
you might as well try to teach a cat to bark.
- Byron Katie
We can never replace a friend.
When a man is fortunate enough to have several,
he finds they are all different.
No one has a double in friendship.
- Johann Schiller
Get up-close-and-personal:
Life looks different when you really get involved.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The eyes of the cheerful and of the melancholy man
are fixed upon the same creation;
but very different are the aspects which it bears to them.
- Albert Pike
We may have all come on different ships,
but we're in the same boat now.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
If you want something to be different than it is,
you might as well teach a cat to bark.
Wanting something to be different than it is, is hopeless.
- Byron Katie
If a man loses pace with his companions,
perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer.
Let him step to the music which he hears,
however measured or far away.
- Henry David Thoreau
Not chance of birth or place has made us friends,
Being oftentimes of different tongues and nations,
But the endeavor for the selfsame ends,
With the same hopes, and fears, and aspirations.
- Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
Conversations with God are very different
from the usual nature of prayer.
Prayers are commonly only in one direction -
the one praying speaks and hopes God is listening.
Prayers also tend to focus on asking
for specific things or outcomes one wants,
rather than seeking to better understand the mind of God.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
There is a fine line between perseverance and insanity.
At what point have you tried your best,
and it's time to do something different?
It's a balance - a paradox.
If you get in the habit of giving up
as soon as something gets difficult,
your life won't work,
but if you keep tilting at windmills -
madly trying the same thing again and again,
your life also won't work.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Choose your goal and keep your eye on it. Never give up.
Perhaps you will need to change your plan
and approach you goal from a different direction, but don't quit.
Keep thinking. Keep re-planning. Keep going.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Why should we be in such desperate haste to succeed,
and in such desperate enterprises?
If a man does not keep pace with his companions,
perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer.
- Henry David Thoreau
Often, we get stuck on a question
for which we can't find an acceptable answer.
That is a good time to consider asking a different question.
Every question is based on some assumptions -
usually invisible assumptions that we don't see, unless we go looking.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Personally, I have fond memories of playing
on slippery rocks on the banks of a rushing river
as a child and hitchhiking in college.
To those who say, "But times are different now,"
I reply that statistically life is much safer now
than in the 1950s, with regard to both crime and accidents.
What has changed is our attitudes.
In those years, a broken leg from falling off a swing
or the back of a tractor was just part of childhood -
an excuse for gathering autographs.
Today that broken leg would be a source
of outrage and probably lawsuits.
I long for a simpler time when life was taken less seriously.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
It is curious to observe what different
ideals of happiness people cherish,
and in what singular places they look
for this well-spring of their life.
Many look for it in the hoarding of riches,
some in the pride of power,
and others in the achievements of art and literature;
a few seek it in the exploration of their own minds,
or in search for knowledge.
- Helen Keller
Action is a great restorer and builder of confidence.
Inaction is not only the result, but the cause, of fear.
Perhaps the action you take will be successful;
perhaps different action or adjustments will have to follow.
But any action is better than no action at all.
- Norman Vincent Peale
Every day is a new beginning -
a day for a new plan and new action.
If today, in conscious awareness, you choose
the same plan as yesterday, you are wise.
If you choose a different plan, you are equally wise.
Whatever you choose, choose with intention.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.