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Let these funny Lacks Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
The reason why the world lacks unity,
and lies broken and in heaps,
is, because man is disunited with himself.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
I live in my own place -
have never copied anyone even half,
and at any master who lacks the grace -
to laugh at himself - I laugh.
- Friedrich Nietzsche
Donkey, you HAVE the right to remain silent.
What you lack, is the capacity.
- said by Shrek in the movie Shrek 2
The lack of money is the root of all evil.
- Mark Twain
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Women who seek to be equal with men lack ambition.
- Marilyn Monroe
Jealousy is the result of one's lack
of self-confidence, self-worth, and self-acceptance.
- Sasha Azevedo
Naturally, the common people don't want war ...
but after all it is the leaders of a country who determine the policy,
and it is always a simple matter to drag the people along,
whether it is a democracy, or a fascist dictatorship,
or a parliament, or a communist dictatorship.
Voice or no voice, the people can always be brought
to the bidding of the leaders.
That is easy. All you have to do is tell them
they are being attacked,
and denounce the pacifists for lack of patriotism
and exposing the country to danger.
It works the same in every country.
- Hermann Goering
Weariness comes, on some days, from lack of service to self.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
No amount of self-improvement can make up
for a lack of self-acceptance.
- Anonymous
The majority of men meet with failure
because of their lack of persistence
in creating new plans to take
the place of those which fail.
- Napoleon Hill
Our growing softness,
our increasing lack of physical fitness,
is a menace to our security.
- John F. Kennedy
Nothing is missing - Lack is an illusion.
We always have everything we truly need.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Watch what people are cynical about,
and one can often discover what they lack.
- George S. Patton
Courage is not the lack of fear but the ability to face it.
- John B. Putnam Jr.
Tolerance implies no lack of commitment to one's own beliefs.
Rather it condemns the oppression or persecution of others.
- John F. Kennedy
More men fail through lack of purpose than lack of talent.
- Billy Sunday
Confidence is contagious.
So is lack of confidence.
- Vince Lombardi
The difference between a successful person and others
is not a lack of strength,
not a lack of knowledge,
but rather a lack of will.
- Vince Lombardi
Loneliness is not what it seems.
One does not feel lonely because one is alone,
but because of a feeling of lack -
a feeling that something is missing.
Loneliness is essentially independent
of how many other humans are around.
It has much more to do with one's self-esteem -
one's sense of inherent worth.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Occurrences in this domain are beyond the reach of exact prediction
because of the variety of factors in operation,
not because of any lack of order in nature.
- Albert Einstein
Envy comes from people's ignorance of,
or lack of belief in, their own gifts.
- Jean Vanier
Lack of culture means what it has always meant:
ignoble civilization and therefore imminent downfall.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
A mentality of scarcity - of lack -
is the natural consequence of
viewing the world through eyes of fear.
In contrast, when the world is viewed
through eyes of love,
the future becomes unlimited.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The source of most worry is a lack of acceptance
of the uncertainties of the future.
When one fully lives a life of acceptance,
life's vagaries are not merely tolerated,
but are received as a gift.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Unless we form the habit of going to the Bible
in bright moments as well as in trouble,
we cannot fully respond to its consolations
because we lack equilibrium between light and darkness.
- Helen Keller
After all, science is essentially international,
and it is only through lack of the historical sense
that national qualities have been attributed to it.
- Marie Curie
If you want total security, go to prison.
There you're fed, clothed, given medical care and so on.
The only thing lacking... is freedom.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
Be content with what you have,
rejoice in the way things are.
When you realize there is nothing lacking,
the whole world belongs to you.
- Lao Tzu
Where love reigns, there is no will to power;
and where the will to power is paramount, love is lacking.
The one is but the shadow of the other.
- Carl Jung
Human subtlety will never devise an invention
more beautiful, more simple or more direct than does nature,
because in her inventions nothing is lacking,
and nothing is superfluous.
- Leonardo da Vinci
Don't go around saying the world owes you a living;
the world owes you nothing; it was here first.
- Mark Twain
I love being married.
It's so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- Rita Rudner
If you are not one of us, you are one of them.
- the movie The Matrix (1999)
Yesterday is like a dung heap;
you can complain about the smell,
or you can use it to fertilize tomorrow's garden.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
However beautiful the strategy,
you should occasionally look at the results.
- Winston Churchill
If you do what you've always done,
you'll get what you always got.
- Mark Twain
It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble.
It's what you know for sure that just ain't so.
- Mark Twain (attributed)
Be careful not to do your good deeds
when there's no one watching you.
- Tom Lehrer
A friend is someone who will bail you out of jail.
A best friend is the one sitting next
to you saying "boy was that fun."
- The Maugles
Always remember the three magic words: You're right dear.
- Anonymous
No one can have a higher opinion of you than I have,
and I think you're a slimy, contemptible sewer rat!
- the movie The Great Mouse Detective
You might have seen a housefly, maybe even a superfly,
but I bet you ain't never seen a DONKEY fly!
- the movie Shrek (2001)
Gentlemen, you can't fight in here! This is the War Room.
- the movie Dr. Strangelove (1964)
To you I'm an atheist; to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition.
- the Woody Allen movie Stardust Memories
You can't make an omelet without breaking eggs.
- Anonymous
Half the people you know are below average.
- Anonymous
When everything comes your way
you're in the wrong lane.
- Anonymous
You'll live to be a hundred if you give up
all the things that make you want to.
- the movie Interiors
A relationship, I think, is like a shark.
You know? It has to constantly move forward or it dies.
And I think what we got on our hands is a dead shark.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall (1977)
Oh no, I can't do anything to the death.
Doctor's orders. You see, I have this ulcer condition,
and death is the worst thing for it.
- the movie Love and Death
You can put wings on a pig,
but you don't make it an eagle.
- William J. Clinton
A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat.
- Erma Bombeck
I think you're the opposite of a paranoid.
I think you go around with the insane delusion that people like you.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry
(Groom), take (Bride)'s hand and place your hand over hers.
Now, remember this moment and cherish it...
because this will be the last time you ever have the upper hand.
- Anonymous
In order to be happy with a man,
you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot
and not try to understand her at all.
- Helen Rowland
Be careful about reading health books.
You may die of a misprint.
- Mark Twain
You ask me if I keep a notebook
to record my great ideas.
I've only ever had one.
- Albert Einstein
Now, if you don't mind, I'd appreciate it if you could lower your wand.
- the movie Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban
The most important words in the English language
are not "I love you" but "It's benign."
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry
Give a man one rabbit, and he will eat for a day;
give a man two rabbits, and he will
feed his family and his neighbors
and return you 64,768 rabbits in change.
- Anonymous
When I first saw you, I thought you were handsome.
Then, of course, you spoke.
- the movie As Good As It Gets (1997)
Of all the things that could frighten you,
you worry about my driving?
- Edward, from Twilight saga by Stephenie Meyer
To keep your marriage brimming,
With love in the wedding cup,
Whenever you're wrong, admit it;
Whenever you're right, shut up.
- Ogden Nash
If you don't know where you are going,
you might wind up someplace else.
- Yogi Berra
There are two things that are more difficult
than making an after-dinner speech:
climbing a wall which is leaning toward you
and kissing a girl who is leaning away from you.
- Winston Churchill
Where did you park the invisible car?
- the movie Megamind (2010)
You want a friend in Washington? Get a dog.
- Harry S. Truman
If at first you don't succeed,
skydiving is not for you.
- Anonymous
You can lead a man to Congress,
but you can't make him think.
- Milton Berle
Damn it boss, I like you too much not to say it.
You've got everything except one thing: madness!
- the movie Zorba The Greek
There's no reason to become alarmed,
and we hope you'll enjoy the rest of your flight.
By the way, is there anyone on board who knows how to fly a plane?
- the movie Airplane!
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.