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Funny Kurt Quotes
Funny Quotes about Kurt

Let these funny Kurt Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

We are what we pretend to be,
so we must be careful what we pretend to be.
- Kurt Vonnegut

I cannot pretend to be impartial about the colors.
I rejoice with the brilliant ones, and
am genuinely sorry for the poor browns.
- Winston Churchill

We should not pretend to understand the world
only by the intellect.
The judgment of the intellect
is only part of the truth.
- Carl Jung

The greatest way to live with honor in this world
is to be what we pretend to be.
- Socrates


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I feel exuberant. I don't pretend.
- Bono

We should not pretend to understand
the world only by the intellect;
we apprehend it just as much by feeling.
Therefore, the judgment of the intellect is,
at best, only the half of truth, and must, if it be honest,
also come to an understanding of its inadequacy.
- Carl Jung

Perspective:
Do you always look at life from the same point-of-view?
Consider viewing a situation as another might view it.
Look from behind, underneath, from the distant heavens.
View the situation as someone of a different religion,
race, or nationality might view it.
Pretend you are an alien from a distant galaxy -
that should be good for a laugh.
Troubles only appear troubling to those close to them.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


 

He who experiences the unity of life
sees his own Self in all beings,
and all beings in his own Self,
and looks on everything with an impartial eye.
- The Buddha

Appreciate again and again, freshly and naively,
the basic goods of life, with awe,
pleasure, wonder and even ecstasy,
however stale these experiences may have become to others.
- Abraham Maslow

Everyone is a prisoner of his own experiences.
No one can eliminate prejudices -
just recognize them.
- Edward R. Murrow

The human spirit ranges across a truly amazing
diversity of experiences and emotions -
the highest peaks and the lowest valleys.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Life is a series of experiences,
each one of which makes us bigger,
even though sometimes it is hard to realize this.
- Henry Ford

I believe life's rich experiences need to be shared with others -
for me this is the way one builds knowledge.
- Pravs J

Honor your past, and all the consequences of that past.
Receive insight into relieving the pain
caused by past experiences and current attitudes toward life.
Observe life as it currently appears,
and then train yourself to observe life
from other perspectives that support a higher quality of living.
Re-consider your priorities.
Chart your Course.
Set Sail with Courage.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet.
Only through experiences of trial and suffering
can the soul be strengthened,
vision cleared, ambition inspired and success achieved.
- Helen Keller

The way to develop self-confidence
is to do the thing you fear
and get a record of successful experiences behind you.
- William Jennings Bryan

Pain is a difficult companion. There's no getting around that.
But, if pain is to be a companion, searching and discovering
your own best ways to travel with that pain
will lead you to the joy that you long to have.
They are your paths, your ways and while my experience
and the experiences of others may inspire you,
ultimately it will be the choices you discover
and make for yourself that lead you to certain joy
in the midst of your challenges.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

A person experiences life as
something separated from the rest -
a kind of optical delusion of consciousness.
Our task must be to free ourselves
from this self-imposed prison,
and through compassion,
to find the reality of Oneness.
- Albert Einstein

When we see the face of God
we shall know that we have always known it.
He has been a party to, has made, sustained
and moved moment by moment within,
all our earthly experiences of innocent love.
- C. S. Lewis

I confessed recently to an old friend,
"I realized I was looking at you,
in your visit, through old glasses.
Speaking old words.
Telling old stories.
I realize that in my life I've made so many
physical changes and I need to give my spirit time to catch up."
Time for my spirit to look at my friend
through the new glasses of current life experiences.
Old friends are precious.
They become even more treasured when they are wrapped
in the currentness of life experiences
and not relegated to the past in which they once lived.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

Our moments of inspiration are not lost
though we have no particular poem to show for them;
for those experiences have left an indelible impression,
and we are ever and anon reminded of them.
- Henry David Thoreau

Now, if you don't mind, I'd appreciate it if you could lower your wand.
- the movie Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban

A man likes his wife to be
just clever enough to appreciate his cleverness,
and just stupid enough to admire it.
- Israel Zangwill

The best way to appreciate your job
is to imagine yourself without one.
- Oscar Wilde

Curiosity takes courage.
The most important promises are the ones you make to yourself.
Pay Attention.
Appreciate. Listen. Imagine.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

I believe that everything happens for a reason.
People change so that you can learn to let go,
things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they're right,
you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself,
and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.
- Marilyn Monroe

Live with intention.
Walk to the edge.
Listen hard.
Practice wellness.
Play with abandon.
Laugh.
Choose with no regret.
Appreciate your friends.
Continue to learn.
Do what you love.
Live as if this is all there is.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

No, they don't appreciate you - and it's not their job.
It's your own job to appreciate yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

One is taught by experience to put a premium
on those few people who can appreciate you for what you are.
- Gail Godwin

We don't appreciate what we have until it's gone.
Freedom is like that. It's like air.
When you have it, you don't notice it.
- Boris Yeltsin

Take a long walk alone in the woods -
leave the cellphone and music player at home.
Your whole BEing will appreciate it.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Appreciate the Unexpected.
- Anonymous

I wish you enough rain to appreciate the sun more.
- Anonymous

We are all different - and we are all one.
Take time to understand, and to appreciate.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Whether one believes in a religion or not,
and whether one believes in rebirth or not,
there isn't anyone who doesn't
appreciate kindness and compassion.
- Tenzin Gyatso, the 14th Dalai Lama

Take time today to appreciate beauty -
natural beauty, art, people.
Slow down, breathe deeply, smile.
It's a beautiful world.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Pause to appreciate the beauty around you.
Whether rainbow or butterfly,
mountain or tree, painting or poem -
whether crafted by nature or by a human hand -
beauty adds a magical element to life
that surpasses logic and science.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

It is better to lead from behind
and to put others in front,
especially when you celebrate victory
when nice things occur.
You take the front line when there is danger.
Then people will appreciate your leadership.
- Nelson Mandela

Recall a recent time when someone was strongly critical
of your opinions (perhaps your political or religious beliefs).
Now, put yourself in their shoes - with compassion.
Try to understand and appreciate their point-of-view -
not to change your own opinions,
but to celebrate all our human differences - in peace.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I appreciate the boldness of gratitude in the quiet, unspoken depths
and its ability to buoy another by being articulated.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

One of the greatest titles we can have is "old friend."
We never appreciate how important old friends are until we are older.
The problem is we need to start our old friendships when we are young.
We then have to nurture and grow those friendships over our middle age
when a busy life and changing geographies
can cause us to neglect those friends.
Today is the day to invest in those people
we hope will call us "old friend" in the years to come.
- Grant Fairley

Self-respect is often mistaken for arrogance
when in reality it is the opposite.
When we can recognize all our good qualities
as well as or faults with neutrality,
we can start to appreciate ourselves
as we would a dear friend
and experience the comfortable inner glow of respect.
To embrace the journey towards our full potential
we need to become our own loving teacher and coach.
Spurring ourselves on to become better human beings,
we develop true regard for ourselves,
and our life will become sacred.
- Osho

"It's not that important,
don't worry about it" is the answer,
now what was the question?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

(Groom), take (Bride)'s hand and place your hand over hers.
Now, remember this moment and cherish it...
because this will be the last time you ever have the upper hand.
- Anonymous

Whatever you can do, or dream you can, Begin it.
Boldness has genius, power and magic in it, Begin it now.
- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

We're more popular than Jesus now;
I don't know which will go first, rock 'n' roll or Christianity.
- John Lennon

If you aren't in the moment,
you are either looking forward to uncertainty,
or back to pain and regret.
- Jim Carrey

In those days he was wiser than he is now;
he used to frequently take my advice.
- Winston Churchill

Might I perhaps win my wings?
I've been waiting for over 200 years now, sir,
and people ARE beginning to talk.
- It's a Wonderful Life (1946 movie)

If Christ were here now there is one thing
he would not be - a Christian.
- Mark Twain

My father always told me that
all businessmen were sons of bitches,
but I never believed it till now.
- John F. Kennedy

Life is now.
There was never a time when your life was not now,
nor will there ever be.
- Eckhart Tolle

Hero needed - apply now -
open minded independent thinker -
courage preferred.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Why wait until you're dead,
when you can create your own Hell right here and now.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Today is the bridge between acceptance and faith.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

All you need is love.
But a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt.
- Charles M. Schulz

We have only this moment,
sparkling like a star in our hand -
and melting like a snowflake.
- Marie B. Ray

If you want to do it,
Do It - TODAY.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Could you risk believing that everything
will unfold just fine if you completely let go
of all concern about everything else,
and simply are here, now - if only for a moment?
- Dmitri Bilgere

Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed
by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did do.
So throw off the bowlines.
Sail away from the safe harbor.
Catch the trade winds in your sails.
Explore. Dream. Discover.
- widely misattributed to Mark Twain

This moment! - this here-now - is forgotten
when you start thinking in terms of achieving something.
When the achieving mind arises,
you lose contact with the paradise you are in.
- Osho

With the past, I have nothing to do;
nor with the future. I live now.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

If we are not happy and joyous at this season,
for what other season shall we wait and
for what other time shall we look?
- Abdul-Baha

Make Today count. Today - each Today -
is the most important day of your life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

It is a mark of soulfulness to be present in the here and now.
When we are present, we are not fabricating inner movies.
We are seeing what is before us.
- John Bradshaw

There is only one time that is important - NOW!
It is the most important time because
it is the only time that we have any power.
- Leo Tolstoy

The Paradox Of Living In The Moment is -
How To Be Happy Today AND Prepare For Tomorrow
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Christianity will go. It will vanish and shrink.
I needn't argue with that; I'm right and I will be proved right.
We're more popular than Jesus now;
I don't know which will go first - rock and roll or Christianity.
- John Lennon

Let us not look back in anger
or forward in fear,
but around in awareness.
- James Thurber

Make it a rule of life never to regret
and never to look back.
- Katherine Mansfield

Those who have come here to hate should leave now;
for in their hate, they only betray themselves.
- Terry Goodkind


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


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All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.