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Funny Quotes about Life
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Funny Known Quotes
Funny Quotes about Known

Let these funny Known Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

If I had known what it would be like to have it all -
I might have been willing to settle for less.
- Lily Tomlin

There's nothing you can know that isn't known.
- John Lennon

Man's nature is not essentially evil.
Brute nature has been known to
yield to the influence of love.
You must never despair of human nature.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Life is greater than you have ever known it.
- Ernest Holmes


 

If a man is proud of his wealth,
he should not be praised until it is known how he employs it.
- Socrates

It is strange to be known so universally
and yet to be so lonely.
- Albert Einstein

Life is truly known only to those who suffer,
lose, endure adversity and stumble from defeat to defeat.
- Anais Nin


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Nothing is so firmly believed as what is least known.
- Michel de Montaigne

True friendship is like sound health;
the value of it is seldom known until it be lost.
- Charles Caleb Colton

Wonder what opportunities you pass, unwittingly,
because your hands are so busy clasping
what you think you have always known.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

We will be known forever by the tracks we leave.
- American Indian Proverb

Sometimes, if you stand on the bottom rail of a bridge
and lean over to watch the river slipping slowly away beneath you,
you will suddenly know everything there is to be known.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)

Every known fact in natural science was divined
by the presentiment of somebody,
before it was actually verified.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Walking takes longer...
than any other known form of locomotion except crawling.
Thus it stretches time and prolongs life.
Life is already too short to waste on speed.
- Edward Abbey

Violent men have not been known in history to die to a man.
They die up to a point.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

I was losing interest in politics,
when the repeal of the Missouri Compromise aroused me again.
What I have done since then is pretty well known.
- Abraham Lincoln

Character is always known.
Thefts never enrich;
alms never impoverish;
murder will speak out of stone walls.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

If i had known... i would have lingered
over my coffee a little longer.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

When we see the face of God
we shall know that we have always known it.
He has been a party to, has made, sustained
and moved moment by moment within,
all our earthly experiences of innocent love.
- C. S. Lewis

It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble.
It's what you know for sure that just ain't so.
- Mark Twain (attributed)

A relationship, I think, is like a shark.
You know? It has to constantly move forward or it dies.
And I think what we got on our hands is a dead shark.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall (1977)

One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends
is that three out of four murders
are committed by people who know the victim.
- George Carlin

If you don't know where you are going,
you might wind up someplace else.
- Yogi Berra

God writes a lot of comedy... the trouble is,
he's stuck with so many bad actors
who don't know how to play funny.
- Garrison Keillor

You know, it takes two to get one in trouble.
- the movie She Done Him Wrong (1933)

You know what? Maybe there's a good reason
donkeys shouldn't talk.
- the movie Shrek (2001)

You never really know a man until you have divorced him.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor

Yeah I called her up. She gave me a bunch of ...
about me not listening to her, or something.
I don't know, I wasn't really paying attention.
- the movie Dumb & Dumber (1994)

Half the people you know are below average.
- Anonymous

Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world.
I know because I've done it thousands of times.
- Mark Twain

Too bad all the people who know how to run this country
are busy running taxicabs or cutting hair.
- George Burns

He early on let her know who is the boss.
He looked her right in the eye and clearly said, "You're the boss."
- Anonymous humor

I feel the need to express something,
but I don't know what it is I want to express.
- the movie Interiors

All people know the same truth.
Our lives consist of how we chose to distort it.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry

Too often the strong, silent man is silent only because
he does not know what to say, and is reputed strong
only because he has remained silent.
- Winston Churchill

Faith is believing what you know ain't so.
- Mark Twain

There are four stages in a marriage.
First there's the affair,
then the marriage,
then children
and finally the fourth stage,
without which you cannot know a woman, the divorce.
- Norman Mailer

Is it ignorance or apathy?
Hey, I don't know and I don't care.
- Jimmy Buffett

You wanna know the meaning of life?
Fugedaboudit - It ain't happnin.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I'm sure we all agree that we ought to love one another
and I know there are people in the world
that do not love their fellow human beings
and I HATE people like that.
- Tom Lehrer

The most difficult thing in the world
is to know how to do a thing
and to watch somebody else doing it wrong,
without comment.
- Theodore. H. White

We're more popular than Jesus now;
I don't know which will go first, rock 'n' roll or Christianity.
- John Lennon

I don't know, I don't care,
and it doesn't make any difference!
- Albert Einstein

Faith: not wanting to know what is true.
- Friedrich Nietzsche

Do not bite at the bait of pleasure,
till you know there is no hook beneath it.
- Thomas Jefferson

You know your god is man-made when he
hates all the same people you do.
- Anonymous

I am no longer young enough to know everything.
- Oscar Wilde

If you ask me anything I don't know,
I'm not going to answer.
- Yogi Berra

A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.
- Steve Martin

One should never know too precisely
whom one has married
- Friedrich Nietzsche

I don't know which will go first - rock 'n' roll or Christianity.
- John Lennon

I know that there are people who do not love their fellow man,
and I hate people like that!
- Tom Lehrer

Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer
but wish we didn't.
- Erica Jong

I am not young enough to know everything.
- Oscar Wilde

I know that God made the whole world in 4004 BC.
I know because my preacher told me. He's a good man.
He's even saving up all the money we give him
to go to bible college someday.
- Anonymous Humor

Know that the greatest fear is fear of the unknown.
Seek to meet the unknown with courage and a sense of adventure.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I refuse to answer that question
on the grounds that I don't know the answer
- Douglas Adams

I love to shop after a bad relationship.
I don't know. I buy a new outfit
and it makes me feel better. It just does.
Sometimes I see a really great outfit,
I'll break up with someone on purpose.
- Rita Rudner

People who think they know everything
are a great annoyance to those of us who do.
- Isaac Asimov

There are three hundred and sixty-four days
when you might get un-birthday presents,
and only one for birthday presents, you know.
- Lewis Carroll

The trouble with the world is not
that people know too little,
but that they know so many things that ain't so.
- Mark Twain

To know yet to think that one does not know is best;
Not to know yet to think that one knows
will lead to difficulty.
- Lao Tzu

Christianity will go. It will vanish and shrink.
I needn't argue with that; I'm right and I will be proved right.
We're more popular than Jesus now;
I don't know which will go first - rock and roll or Christianity.
- John Lennon

Ignorance more frequently begets confidence than does knowledge:
it is those who know little, and not those who know much,
who so positively assert that this or that problem
will never be solved by science.
- Charles Darwin

One can not reflect in streaming water.
Only those who know internal peace can give it to others.
- Lao Tzu

To know God, watch a butterfly return to the same tree -
after a year and a thousand miles.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

God grant me the serenity
To accept the things I cannot change;
the courage to change the things I can;
and the wisdom to know the difference.
- Reinhold Niebuhr (Serenity Prayer)

If you don't know where you're going,
any road will take you there.
- Lewis Carroll
(Alice in Wonderland)

Stand Tall, Stand Proud.
Know that you are unique and magnificent.
You do not need the approval of others.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

A person is smart. People are dumb,
panicky dangerous animals and you know it.
Fifteen hundred years ago everybody knew
the Earth was the center of the universe.
Five hundred years ago,
everybody knew the Earth was flat,
and fifteen minutes ago,
you knew that humans were alone on this planet.
Imagine what you'll know tomorrow.
- the movie Men in Black

Know the power and the peace of saying,
"I love you just the way you are."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


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- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.