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Funny Kids Quotes
Funny Quotes about Kids

Let these funny Kids Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

Sex education may be a good idea in the schools,
but I don't believe the kids should be given homework.
- Bill Cosby

No matter how calmly you try to referee,
parenting will eventually produce bizarre behavior,
and I'm not talking about the kids.
Their behavior is always normal.
- Bill Cosby

Perhaps people, and kids especially,
are spoiled today,
because all the kids today have cars,
it seems.
When I was young you were lucky to have a bike.
- James Cagney

Mom and Dad would stay in bed on Sunday morning,
but the kids would have to go to church.
- Lynn Johnston


 

Home life's great, man.
The kids are great, happy and healthy.
I've reached this sort of wonderful precipice.
- Ryan Phillippe

I regret not having had more time with my kids when they were growing up.
- Tina Turner

I'm very girly.
I love to talk about diets, exercise,
kids, make-up.
- Rachel Hunter


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In our society leaving baby with Daddy is just one
step above leaving the kids to be raised by wolves or apes.
- Al Roker

Parents should not smoke in order to discourage their kids from smoking.
A child is more likely to smoke when they have been
raised in the environment of a smoker.
- Christy Turlington

Trouble is, kids feel they have to shock their elders
and each generation grows up into something harder to shock.
- Ben Lindsey

I think growing up is difficult and it's a process
that I'm always interested in,
with kids and adults, they are often on two different universes.
- Alice Hoffman

Once I got married and had kids, I moved away from romantic roles,
because it seemed wrong to have my 3-year-old wondering
why Daddy was kissing someone else.
- Chevy Chase

If you're asking your kids to exercise,
then you better do it, too.
Practice what you preach.
- Bruce Jenner

Even though your kids will consistently do the exact
opposite of what you're telling them to do,
you have to keep loving them just as much.
- Bill Cosby

My kids idea of a hard life is to live in a house with only one phone.
- George Foreman

We'll sort of get over the marriage first and then maybe look at the kids.
But obviously we want a family so we'll have to start thinking about that.
- Prince William

I'm not much of a family man.
I'm just not that into it.
I love kids, I adore them, but I don't want to live my life for them.
- Sting

Even as kids reach adolescence, they need more than
ever for us to watch over them.
Adolescence is not about letting go.
It's about hanging on during a very bumpy ride.
- Ron Taffel

The one thing that kept our family together was the music.
The only thing that our family would share emotionally
was to have our dad cry over something the kids did with music.
- Dennis Wilson

What do we want our kids to do? Sweep up around Japanese computers?
- Walter F. Mondale

I used to be good with kids, but as I get older,
I'm grumpy and terrible with them.
As for doing a gig at a 6-year old's birthday party,
you couldn't pay me enough.
- Johnny Vegas

Every cliche about kids is true; they grow up so quickly,
you blink and they're gone, and you have to spend the time with them now.
But that's a joy.
- Liam Neeson

Even in the developing parts of the world,
kids take to computers like fish to water.
- Nicholas Negroponte

I grew up in a big family with a lot of kids around,
and I definitely want to have children as well.
- Heidi Klum

Daddy was real gentle with kids.
That's why I expected so much out of marriage,
figuring that all men should be steady and pleasant.
- Loretta Lynn

I asked my daughter when she was 16,
What's the buzz on the street with the kids? She's going,
to be honest, Dad, most of my friends aren't into Kiss.
But they've all been told that it's the greatest show on Earth.
- Ace Frehley

We can make a commitment to promote vegetables and
fruits and whole grains on every part of every menu.
We can make portion sizes smaller and emphasize quality over quantity.
And we can help create a culture - imagine this -
where our kids ask for healthy options instead of resisting them.
- Michelle Obama

I've always been an animal lover.
I've grown up with dogs my whole life.
I think that is what helped me get the role on 'Lassie',
I was comfortable around the dog, where many of the
kids were afraid or intimidated by Lassie.
- Will Estes

It's hard enough to work and raise a family when your
kids are all healthy and relatively normal,
but when you add on some kind of disability or disease,
it can just be such a burden.
- Patricia Heaton

I think women are natural caretakers.
They take care of everybody.
They take care of their husbands and their kids and their dogs,
and don't spend a lot of time just getting back and taking time out.
- Reese Witherspoon

Everything that is worthwhile in life is scary.
Choosing a school, choosing a career,
getting married, having kids -
all those things are scary.
If it is not fearful, it is not worthwhile.
- Paul Tornier

I mean, I look at my dad.
He was twenty when he started having a family,
and he was always the coolest dad.
He did everything for his kids, and he never made us
feel like he was pressured.
I know that it must be a great feeling to be a guy like that.
- Adam Sandler

If kids come to educators and teachers from strong,
healthy functioning families, it makes our job easier.
If they do not come to us from strong,
healthy, functioning families, it makes our job more important.
- Barbara Colorose

It's been interesting how kids have had hardly any problems watching it,
but adults have more trouble.
This happened way back even with Jabberwocky and Time Bandits.
- Terry Gilliam

Working mothers do an hour more per day than working
fathers do and working mothers do on average an hour
more per day with the kids than working fathers do.
- James Levine

All kids, when they go to school, are pretty good artists
and dancers and singers and poets.
All that gets buried, basically through being educated,
or brainwashed.
- William Wiley

All of us kids ended up 'doing Mom.' There are four
of us who've tried show business.
Five if you insist on counting my sister the nun,
who does liturgical dance.
- Bill Murray

Technology is just a tool.
In terms of getting the kids working together and motivating them,
the teacher is the most important.
- Bill Gates

The main thing I do now is I coach kids,
and all of these stories along the way are based in reality.
- Craig Johnston

I want to be inspiring to myself, to my kids,
my family, and my friends.
- Jodie Foster

The main concern was making sure the kids didn't get caught in the middle.
- Hunter Tylo

Kids used to tease me unmercifully about that name.
- Marge Schott

I love little kids looking up to me,
young players looking up to me,
respecting me.
- David Beckham

Kids today are technologically sophisticated.
In many families, they are far ahead of their parents.
- Rod Blagojevich

Thousands of kids and parents come up to us and say,
How do we get better as a singer?
- Paula Abdul

We love the Stooges, and young kids today don't watch them.
They think it's their dad's comedy.
So we thought we could reintroduce them to a new audience.
- Bobby Farrelly

I take the kids to church and Sunday school.
They love it.
I really think it's important for a child to feel that
there are things that are bigger than your life out there.
- Reese Witherspoon

My kids are more precious to me than anything.
I'm with them all day, and I write all night.
- Danielle Steel

Too many kids today are playing major league ball and don't belong there.
- Joe DiMaggio

We were just a gaggle of kids, and everybody played
together and had a good time.
You know how kids can be completely horrible -
abusive but fun.
But anyway, it was a nice childhood.
- Peter Jurasik

Encourage kids to enjoy running and play in athletics.
Don't force them to run too much competition.
- Arthur Lydiard

I think as far as kids go, you just have to work hard.
Work on your skills, keep focused.
- Frank Lampard

Everything we say signifies; everything counts,
that we put out into the world.
It impacts on kids, it impacts on the zeitgeist of the time.
- Meryl Streep

It was endlessly entertaining, watching people beat each other up.
All the little kids in the neighborhood would come and watch...
and then we'd beat them up as well.
- Wayne Coyne

There's no love more intense than the love we have for our kids -
and where there is intense love,
there is also intense fear lurking beneath the surface.
- Arianna Huffington

My kids get everything they want and are raised well.
- Suge Knight

Children are easily influenced, and I always want to
do things I can be proud to show my kids someday.
- Faith Hill

These are books that want to be read out loud.
These are books kids share with each other,
and I think that's important.
- Brian P. Cleary

Kids flourish if we get them to school every day.
- Connie Smith

I coach my daughter's softball and basketball team.
We go to all the school functions.
We go out to eat at night and take the kids to the movies.
We try to be as normal as we can.
- Tim McGraw

Do you want to be an artist and a writer,
or a wife and a lover? With kids, your focus changes.
I don't want to go to PTA meetings.
- Stevie Nicks

People would say, Can we develop a sitcom around you? and I would say,
Not interested.
I'm very happy doing standup and writing and taking my kids to school.
- Jeff Foxworthy

I can tell you this: If I'm ever in a position to call the shots,
I'm not going to rush to send somebody else's kids into a war.
- George H. W. Bush

One of the problems you have when you read with kids
is that once they like something they want you to read it a hundred times.
- Norton Juster

I want to spend more time with those kids.
I want to dedicate my time to train those kids and
teach them what it takes,
what they need to do to get to this level.
- Thomas Dooley

Also, while I was at Yale, I had a job teaching kids at the museum.
- Robert T. Bakker

I think I have enough tattoos for now.
If I get any others, I'll probably do my kids initials.
- Niki Taylor

Yeah, some kids called me fish lips because I had these really full lips.
Now I'm sure all those same girls are getting collagen injections,
so I'm having the last laugh.
- Denise Richards

I went to all the Love-Ins.
I took my kids.
I enjoyed myself.
- Al Lewis

We are all so close.
We are godfather to each others' kids.
I was the best man at Jesus' wedding.
- Juan Marichal

If we keep on ignoring and leaving children to their own devices at home,
they become latchkey kids, and trust me,
the consequences of that are not good.
- Eric Braeden


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