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Funny Quotes about Life
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Funny Kids Quotes
Funny Quotes about Kids

Let these funny Kids Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

Everything that is worthwhile in life is scary.
Choosing a school, choosing a career,
getting married, having kids -
all those things are scary.
If it is not fearful, it is not worthwhile.
- Paul Tornier

I'm actually starting to like more and more people
who have convictions that are unpopular.
Now at what point does an unpopular conviction
interfere with your own human rights?
Forced female circumcision, for instance.
The Catholic Church's stance on contraception.
The list goes on. You know, God has some really weird kids,
and I find it hard to be in their company most of the time.
- Bono

I was the kid next door's imaginary friend.
- Emo Phillips

Never trust spiritual leader who doesn't dance.
- Miyagi: character in the movie The Next Karate Kid


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Better learn balance. Balance is key.
- Miyagi: character in the movie Karate Kid

Okay, here's your first lesson: how to take a FALL!
- the movie Karate Kid

Better learn balance. Balance is key.
Balance good, karate good. Everything good.
Balance bad, better pack up, go home. Understand?
- Miyagi: character in the movie Karate Kid


 

Fighting not good. But if must fight... win.
- Miyagi: character in the movie The Next Karate Kid

Problem: attitude.
- Miyagi: character in the movie Karate Kid

Ah, not everything is as seems...
- Miyagi: character in the movie Karate Kid

For man with no forgiveness in heart,
life worse punishment than death.
- Miyagi: character in the movie Karate Kid 2

You remember lesson about balance?
Lesson not just karate only. Lesson for whole life.
Whole life have a balance. Everything be better. Understand?
- Miyagi: character in the movie Karate Kid

Never put passion before principle.
Even if win, you lose.
- Miyagi: character in the movie Karate Kid 2

We make sacred pact. I promise teach
karate to you, you promise learn.
I say, you do, no questions.
- Miyagi: character in the movie Karate Kid

There is no doubt that life can be a bumpy ride.
But so were those roller coasters you loved as a kid.
Savor the adventure.
Find excitement in the uncertainty and the constant change.
Even let a touch of fear add spice to your life -
as you did on that roller coaster.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

There is nobody in this country who got rich on their own. Nobody. You built a factory out there - good for you. But I want to be clear. You moved your goods to market on roads the rest of us paid for. You hired workers the rest of us paid to educate. You were safe in your factory because of police forces and fire forces that the rest of us paid for. You didn't have to worry that marauding bands would come and seize everything at your factory... Now look. You built a factory and it turned into something terrific or a great idea - God bless! Keep a hunk of it. But part of the underlying social contract is you take a hunk of that and pay forward for the next kid who comes along."
- Elizabeth Warren

First, wash all car. Then wax. Wax on...
Wax on, right hand. Wax off, left hand. Wax on, wax off.
Breathe in through nose, out the mouth. Wax on, wax off.
Don't forget to breathe, very important.
- Miyagi: character in the movie Karate Kid

Walk on road, hmmm?
Walk left side, safe. Walk right side, safe.
Walk middle, sooner or later get squish just like grape.
Here, karate, same thing.
Either you karate do "yes" or karate do "no."
You karate do "guess so," squish just like grape. Understand?
- Miyagi: character in the movie Karate Kid

No one knows what's next, but everybody does it.
- George Carlin

I was thrown out of N.Y.U. my freshman year
for cheating on my metaphysics final ...
I looked within the soul of the boy sitting next to me.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall

A friend is someone who will bail you out of jail.
A best friend is the one sitting next
to you saying "boy was that fun."
- The Maugles

We make our friends; we make our enemies;
but God makes our next-door neighbor.
- Gilbert (G. K.) Chesterton

The claim "I was only following orders" has been used
to justify too many tragedies in our history.
- Captain Picard of the television series
STAR TREK: The Next Generation

Choose to be as a young child -
fully awake, eager for the next experience.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Life is like a roller coaster - scream Whee... on the way down,
and let the momentum carry you back up the next hill.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Martyrs cannot be silenced.
- the television show Star Trek: The Next Generation

Is today a day to gather strength from the storm -
a day to to learn life lessons for the next battle?
Or is today a day to sit by the fire
and watch the storm rage outside?
Either way, the storm is just life.
Give thanks for all of Life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

A politician needs the ability to
foretell what is going to happen
tomorrow, next week, next month, and next year.
And to have the ability afterwards
to explain why it didn't happen.
- Winston Churchill

The philosophy of the school room in one generation
will be the philosophy of government in the next.
- Abraham Lincoln

We are never afraid of what is happening in this instant -
It is what MIGHT happen next that frightens us.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

We humans feel an instinctive need to know
what is coming next - what we can count upon.
We fear change - even the most positive change.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Maybe I could have loved you better.
Maybe you should have loved me more.
Maybe our hearts were just next in line.
Maybe everything breaks sometime.
- Jewel

Intuition will tell the thinking mind where to look next.
- Jonas Salk

I can not believe that war
is the best solution.
No one won the last war,
and no one will win the next war.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

The heresy of one age becomes the orthodoxy of the next.
Mere tolerance has given place to a sentiment of brotherhood
between sincere men of all denominations.
- Helen Keller

To the philosopher,
death is but the next great adventure.
- J. K. Rowling

Affirmation:
I congratulate myself warmly for each accomplishment,
then ask, "What's next?"
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I congratulate myself warmly for each accomplishment,
then ask, "What's next?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

You will never do anything in this world without courage.
It is the greatest quality of the mind next to honor.
- James Allen

The heresy of one age becomes the orthodoxy of the next.
- Helen Keller

A man can do only what he can do.
But if he does that each day he can sleep at night
and do it again the next day.
- Albert Schweitzer

Wisdom is knowing what to do next.
- David Starr Jordan

The only thing that makes life possible
is permanent, intolerable uncertainty;
not knowing what comes next.
- Ursula K. Le Guin

To the well-organized mind,
death is but the next great adventure.
- J. K. Rowling

I want you to be concerned about your next door neighbor.
Do you know your next door neighbor?
- Mother Teresa

Death is just life's next big adventure.
- J. K. Rowling

The choice is to work alone to be a little
more successful than the next person,
or to work together for the great betterment of humanity.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Anyone who thinks, must think of
the next war as they would of suicide.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

Completion:
It is time for the project to be over.
You submitted the proposal, you painted your house,
you passed-in the term paper.
Whatever praise or criticism you received,
it is now time to move on to your next project.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The Eye-of-the-Storm.
Surrounded by the winds and the rain,
yet peaceful in its own unworldly way -
an unnatural ruddy-cloudy misty-bright kind of way.
Whatever comes next, the eye of the storm is
a moment of serenity among the challenge -
a time for repose and contemplation.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The movie character Forrest Gump describing life
as being "like a box of chocolates,"
is such a positive upbeat way of
characterizing the uncertainty of life.
I have no idea what life will give me next,
but whatever it is, it will be sweet.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

A state of expectancy is a great asset;
a state of uncertainty -
one moment thinking "perhaps"
and the next moment thinking "I don't know" -
will never get desired results.
- Ernest Holmes

The ending of a job or a relationship
may appear as the darkest night,
but it is merely the Winter season -
the time of renewal and rebirth
that precedes the new planting -
the beginning of the next great cycle.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience
in which I must stop and look fear in the face.
I say to myself, I've lived through this
and can take the next thing that comes along.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

Friendship must dare to risk, or it's not friendship.
- Captain Jean-Luc Picard in the TV show Star Trek: The Next Generation

There are times, sir, when men of good conscience
cannot blindly follow orders.
- Captain Picard, STAR TREK: The Next Generation

Things are only impossible until they're not.
- Jean-Luc Picard, character in STAR TREK: The Next Generation

Choose to adopt the attitude toward failure that sports teams do.
In each game, one team succeeds and one fails.
Then the next week they both get out and play again.
Life is also a game - with some successes and some failures.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

It's YOUR time - it's YOUR life -
YOU get to choose how you use it. T
here is no way that your life is "supposed" to be.
Your parents had their vision for your life.
Your boss, your spouse, your church, your friends,
and even the family next door have their ideas
of how you should live your life.
What about YOUR vision for your life?
What do YOU want?
YES, it matters what you want.
YES you can have what you want.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Each age, it is found, must write its own books;
or rather, each generation for the next succeeding.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Truth always rests with the minority,
and the minority is always stronger than the majority,
because the minority is generally formed by those
who really have an opinion,
while the strength of a majority is illusory,
formed by the gangs who have no opinion -
and who, therefore, in the next instant
(when it is evident that the minority is the stronger)
assume its opinion... while truth again reverts to a new minority.
- Soren Kierkegaard

A city is a place where there is no need to
wait for next week to get the answer to a question,
to taste the food of any country,
to find new voices to listen to and familiar ones to listen to again.
- Margaret Mead

Be careful not to do your good deeds
when there's no one watching you.
- Tom Lehrer

Marriage has no guarantees.
If that's what you're looking for,
go live with a car battery.
- Erma Bombeck

No matter how much cats fight,
there always seem to be plenty of kittens.
- Abraham Lincoln

No man is truly married until he understands
every word his wife is NOT saying.
- Anonymous

Mr. President, I'm not saying we wouldn't get our hair mussed.
But I do say no more than ten to twenty million killed, tops.
Uh, depending on the breaks.
- the movie Dr. Strangelove

One cannot have everything the way he would like it.
A man has no business to be depressed by a disappointment,
anyway; he ought to make up his mind to get even.
- Mark Twain

I have no fear of the gallows ... They're going to shoot me.
- the movie Love and Death

When I eventually met Mr. Right
I had no idea that his first name was Always.
- Rita Rudner

And you just gotta remember, Sparky -
no matter what they tell you - you can NEVER have too much sugar.
- the movie Michael (1996)


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


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All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.