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Funny Quotes about Life
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Funny Keeps Quotes
Funny Quotes about Keeps

Let these funny Keeps Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

Comedy keeps the heart sweet.
- Mark Twain

By giving us the opinions of the uneducated,
journalism keeps us in touch
with the ignorance of the community.
- Oscar Wilde

If it keeps up, man will atrophy
all his limbs but the push-button finger.
- Frank Lloyd Wright

Experience keeps a dear school,
but fools will learn in no other.
- Benjamin Franklin


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Belief is a virus, and once it gets into you,
its first order of business is to preserve itself,
and the way it preserves itself
is to keep you from having any doubts,
and the way it keeps you from doubting
is to blind you to the way things really are.
- Philip Caputo

Curiosity keeps one young - in thought and in action.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The walls we build around us to
keep sadness out also keeps out the joy.
- Jim Rohn


 

Anyone who keeps the ability to see beauty, never grows old.
- Franz Kafka

Faith keeps many doubts in her pay.
If I could not doubt, I should not believe.
- Henry David Thoreau

I believe that anyone can conquer fear
by doing the things he fears to do,
provided he keeps doing them until he gets
a record of successful experience behind him.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

Every moment wasted looking back
keeps us from moving forward.
- Hilary Clinton

As long as one keeps searching, the answers come.
- Joan Baez

What you don't do daily, you probably won't do weekly either.
What you make a habit of putting-off
just keeps getting pushed away again and again.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

We keep moving forward, opening new doors,
and doing new things, because we're curious
and curiosity keeps leading us down new paths.
- Walt Disney

My coat and I live comfortably together.
It has assumed all my wrinkles, does not hurt me anywhere,
has moulded itself on my deformities,
and is complacent to all my movements,
and I only feel its presence because it keeps me warm.
Old coats and old friends are the same thing.
- Victor Hugo

I have three precious things which I hold fast and prize.
The first is gentleness;
the second is frugality;
the third is humility, which keeps me from putting myself before others.
Be gentle and you can be bold;
be frugal and you can be generous;
avoid putting yourself before others
and you can become a leader among men.
- Lao Tzu

Love is patient, love is kind.
It does not envy, it does not boast,
It is not proud. It does not dishonor others,
It is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered,
It keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil
but rejoices with the truth.
It always protects, always trusts,
always hopes, always perseveres.
Love never fails.
- Corinthians 13:4-8 (NIV)

It is easy in the world to live after the world's opinions;
it is easy in solitude to live after your own;
but the great man is he who in the midst of the crowd
keeps with perfect sweetness the independence of solitude
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

You ask me if I keep a notebook
to record my great ideas.
I've only ever had one.
- Albert Einstein

Stay hopeless and confused. Keep polishing those skills.
- the movie When a Man Loves a Woman (1994)

To keep your marriage brimming,
With love in the wedding cup,
Whenever you're wrong, admit it;
Whenever you're right, shut up.
- Ogden Nash

Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, half shut afterwards.
- Benjamin Franklin

Keep your friends close, but your enemies closer.
- the movie The Godfather, Part II

Three can keep a secret, if two of them are dead.
- Benjamin Franklin

Keep Searching for the Rabbit-Hole with the Magical White Rabbit.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

A benevolent man should allow a few faults in himself,
to keep his friends in countenance.
- Benjamin Franklin

Capitalism tries for a delicate balance:
It attempts to work things out so that
everyone gets just enough stuff to keep them from
getting violent and trying to take other people's stuff.
- George Carlin

The Main Thing is to Keep
The Main Thing The Main Thing.
- Stephen Covey

The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed
(and hence clamorous to be led to safety)
by menacing it with an endless series of hobgoblins,
all of them imaginary.
- H. L. Mencken

Trust your own inner guidance.
Have faith that your steps are
carrying you toward your dreams.
Keep your eyes on the heavens
and believe that your feet will carry you well.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

If you are going through hell, keep going.
- Winston Churchill

Today is a day to cover your best weapons in velvet.
Go gently into the world.
Hold your anger.
Keep your competitive spirit in check.
Some day you will need your fierce weapons,
but not today.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Life is like riding a bicycle.
To keep your balance you must keep moving.
- Albert Einstein

Keep your attention focused entirely
on what is truly your own concern,
and be clear that what belongs to others
is their business and none of yours.
- Epictetus

Life is a game.
Keep it light and playful.
Tease life, taunt life,
never attack life head-on.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

If there ever comes a day when we can't be together,
keep me in your heart, I'll stay there forever.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)

Keep busy - with tasks that inspire you,
motivate you, or please you.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The only wealth which you will keep forever
is the wealth you have given away.
- Marcus Aurelius

In the midst of movement and chaos,
keep stillness inside of you.
- Deepak Chopra

Keep the Faith.
- Anonymous

Do not trouble yourself much
to get new things, whether clothes or friends...
Sell your clothes and keep your thoughts.
- Henry David Thoreau

Bigotry tries to keep truth safe in its hand
with a grip that kills it.
- Rabindranath Tagore

If a man does not keep pace with his companions,
perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer.
- Henry David Thoreau

It may be true that the law cannot make a man love me,
but it can keep him from lynching me,
and I think that's pretty important.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

Success seems to be connected with action.
Successful people keep moving.
They make mistakes, but they don't quit.
- Conrad Hilton

The promises we makes to ourselves are the things
that assure us we have the capacity to keep our promises to others.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

Only our individual faith in freedom can keep us free.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

Work Hard. Do your best. Keep your word.
Never get too big for your britches.
Trust in God. Have no fear;
and Never forget a friend.
- Harry S. Truman

Do not anticipate trouble,
or worry about what may never happen.
Keep in the sunlight.
- Benjamin Franklin

War is a game that is played with a smile.
If you can't smile, grin.
If you can't grin, keep out of the way till you can.
- Winston Churchill

I do the very best I know how -
the very best I can;
and I mean to keep on doing so until the end.
- Abraham Lincoln

If you want a love message to be heard,
it has got to be sent out.
To keep a lamp burning,
we have to keep putting oil in it.
- Mother Teresa

If you tell a lie big enough and keep repeating it,
people will eventually come to believe it.
- Joseph Goebbels (Minister of Propaganda in Nazi Germany)

The time comes upon every public man
when it is best for him to keep his lips closed.
- Abraham Lincoln

Do the thing you fear to do and keep on doing it -
that is the quickest and surest way
ever yet discovered to conquer fear.
- Dale Carnegie

If we want a love message to be heard,
it has got to be sent out.
To keep a lamp burning,
we have to keep putting oil in it.
- Mother Teresa

The best way to keep your friends
is not to give them away.
- Wilson Mizner

Keep a grateful journal. Every night,
list five things you are grateful for.
- Oprah Winfrey

Nothing can be more abhorrent to democracy
than to imprison a person
or keep him in prison because he is unpopular.
This is really the test of civilization.
- Winston Churchill

Keep moving. Don't stop. But don't rush.
Don't race around.
Sure and steady gets you there every time.
- Neale Donald Walsch

Your success and happiness lies in you.
Resolve to keep happy, and your joy and you
shall form an invincible host against difficulties.
- Helen Keller

The nature of life is to be
a study of contrasts: joy/sadness, full/empty.
The Main Thing is to Keep The Main Thing The Main Thing.
- Stephen Covey

If I keep a green bough in my heart the singing bird will come.
- Chinese proverb

When you keep getting the wrong answers,
try asking better questions.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The key is to keep company only with people who uplift you,
whose presence calls forth your best.
- Epictetus

Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions.
Small people always do that,
but the really great make you feel that
you, too, can become great.
- Mark Twain

Resolve to keep happy, and your joy
and you shall form an invincible host against difficulties.
- Helen Keller

Keep courage. Whatever you do,
do not feel sorry for yourself.
You will win in a great age of opportunity.
- Richard L. Evans

In times of great stress or adversity,
it's always best to keep busy,
to plow your anger and your energy
into something positive.
- Lee Iacocca

If a man does not make new acquaintances
as he advances through life,
he will soon find himself alone.
A man, sir, should keep his friendships in constant repair.
- Samuel Johnson


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- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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