Enter one or two keywords to search these Funny Quotes.

Hint: keep it simple, like life twain



Facebook share   Tweet This   Email this

Funny Quotes about Life
Funny Quotes about Life | Funny Love Quotes | Links | About
Search:   A-   B-   Ca-   Co-   D-   E-   F-   G-   H-    I-    J-K-L   M-   N-O   Pa-   Pr-   Q-R   Sa-   Sk-   T-   U-V-W-X-Y-Z


Get a Humorous, Yet Insightful, Quote of the Day each day by email.
Follow funny-quotes-life.com by Email:


Funny Judicious Quotes
Funny Quotes about Judicious

Let these funny Judicious Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

Man's most valuable trait is a judicious sense
of what not to believe.
- Euripides

Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits
and then complain that he's not the man she married?
- Barbra Streisand PHOTO

A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.
- W. C. Fields PHOTO

A man wrapped up in himself makes a very small bundle.
- Benjamin Franklin


Get a Funny Quote of the Day each day by email or in your feed reader.

 Subscribe in a reader -- or
Enter your email address:




Delivered by FeedBurner


One cannot have everything the way he would like it.
A man has no business to be depressed by a disappointment,
anyway; he ought to make up his mind to get even.
- Mark Twain

A man's friendships are, like his will,
invalidated by marriage -
but they are also no less invalidated
by the marriage of his friends.
- Samuel Butler

You never really know a man until you have divorced him.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor


 

One man's theology is another man's belly laugh.
- Robert A. Heinlein

Barf: I'm a mog: half man, half dog. I'm my own best friend!
- the movie Spaceballs (1987)

Give a man one rabbit, and he will eat for a day;
give a man two rabbits, and he will
feed his family and his neighbors
and return you 64,768 rabbits in change.
- Anonymous

Whenever I date a guy, I think,
"Is this the man I want my children
to spend their weekends with?"
- Rita Rudner

Don't marry a man to reform him -
that's what reform schools are for.
- Mae West

You can lead a man to Congress,
but you can't make him think.
- Milton Berle

Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend.
Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
- Groucho Marx

Do not marry a man to reform him.
That is what reform schools are for.
- Mae West

A man is incomplete until he is married.
After that, he is finished.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor

Marriages don't last. When I meet a guy,
the first question I ask myself is:
is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?
- Rita Rudner

I care not much for a man's religion
whose dog and cat are not the better for it.
- Abraham Lincoln

Men always want to be a woman's first love -
women like to be a man's last romance.
- Oscar Wilde

Getting divorced just because you don't love a man
is almost as silly as getting married just because you do.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor

One man's remorse is another man's reminiscence.
- Ogden Nash

He's the kind of man a woman would have to marry to get rid of.
- Mae West

A man likes his wife to be
just clever enough to appreciate his cleverness,
and just stupid enough to admire it.
- Israel Zangwill

I am a man of fixed and unbending principles,
the first of which is to be flexible at all times.
- Everett Dirksen

In order to be happy with a man,
you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot
and not try to understand her at all.
- Helen Rowland

Afraid? Me? A man who's licked
his weight in wild caterpillars?
Afraid? You bet I'm afraid!
- Groucho Marx

No man is truly married until he understands
every word his wife is NOT saying.
- Anonymous

There are two times when a man doesn't understand a woman -
before marriage and after marriage.
- Anonymous

A man is a fool if he drinks before he reaches the age of 50,
and a fool if he doesn't afterward.
- Frank Lloyd Wright

It's not as great a day for the bride as she thinks.
She's not marrying the best man.
- Anonymous

Never give a sword to a man who can't dance.
- Confucius

The power of man has grown in every sphere, except over himself.
- Winston Churchill

You can always tell when a man's well informed.
His views are pretty much like your own.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

A benevolent man should allow a few faults in himself,
to keep his friends in countenance.
- Benjamin Franklin

A cynic is a man who, when he smells flowers,
looks around for a coffin.
- H. L. Mencken

I will far rather see the race of man extinct
than that we should become less than beasts
by making the noblest of God's creation,
woman, the object of our lust.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

The man who does not read good books
has no advantage over the man who cannot read them.
- Mark Twain

An excellent man;
he has no enemies;
and none of his friends like him.
- Oscar Wilde

Clothes make the man.
Naked people have little or no influence on society.
- Mark Twain

Confused Memories of Childhood:
Hate to my father, cruel hate,
confused with love - a mix not great.
The man I love - the man I hate;
the man I want to emulate.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

A man can't be too careful in the choice of enemies.
- Oscar Wilde

Every man thinks God is on his side.
- Jean Anouilh

Man is a credulous animal, and must believe something;
in the absence of good grounds for belief,
he will be satisfied with bad ones.
- Bertrand Russell

Blessed is the man who, having nothing to say,
abstains from giving us wordy evidence of the fact.
- George Eliot

Give the right man two fishes and some bread,
and he will feed the world;
give the wrong man two fishes and some bread
and he will invent the fast-food fish sandwich.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I would never want to be a member of a group
whose symbol was a man nailed to two pieces of wood.
- George Carlin

The savage in man is never quite eradicated.
- Henry David Thoreau

Man will occasionally stumble over the truth,
but most of the time he will pick himself up and continue on.
- Winston Churchill

I would rather trust a woman's instinct than a man's reason.
- Stanley Baldwin

I know that there are people who do not love their fellow man,
and I hate people like that!
- Tom Lehrer

Morality which depends upon the helplessness
of a man or woman has not much to recommend it.
Morality is rooted in the purity of our hearts.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

A clever man commits no minor blunders.
- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Mr. Attlee is a very modest man.
Indeed he has a lot to be modest about.
- Winston Churchill

Many a man owes his success to his first wife
and his second wife to his success.
- Jim Backus

Never stir up litigation.
A worse man can scarcely be found than one who does this.
- Abraham Lincoln

The man who can smile when things go wrong
has thought of someone else he can blame it on.
- Robert Bloch

When I hear a man preach,
I like to see him act as if he were fighting bees.
- Abraham Lincoln

A man is usually more careful of his money
than he is of his principles.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

The civilized man has built a coach,
but has lost the use of his feet.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

A little girl at the wedding afterwards asked her mother
why the bride changed her mind.
What do you mean? responded her mother.
Well, she went down the aisle with one man,
and came back with another.
- Anonymous

Every man prefers belief to the exercise of judgment.
- Lucius Annaeus Seneca

Man's role is uncertain, undefined, and perhaps unnecessary.
- Margaret Mead

Two things a man should never be angry at:
what he can help,
and what he cannot help.
- Thomas Fuller

If I knew for a certainty that a man was coming to my house
with the conscious design of doing me good,
I should run for my life.
- Henry David Thoreau

You know your god is man-made when he
hates all the same people you do.
- Anonymous

Man is a clever animal who behaves like an imbecile.
- Albert Schweitzer

Adventure is not outside man; it is within.
- George Eliot

Man can hardly even recognize the devils of his own creation.
- Albert Schweitzer

The reason why the world lacks unity,
and lies broken and in heaps,
is, because man is disunited with himself.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

The man of science is a poor philosopher.
- Albert Einstein

We are born believing.
A man bears beliefs as a tree bears apples.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson


Thank you for visiting: Funny Judicious Quotes - Funny Quotes about Judicious.

Please sign up on the form below to receive
my Free Daily Inspiration - Daily Quotes email.

You can also search my large collection of Funny Quotes.

May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


Funny Quotes

 


All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.