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Funny Quotes about Life
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Funny Judging Quotes
Funny Quotes about Judging

Let these funny Judging Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

I Release Myself From All Guilt.
I forgive myself for judging me guilty.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Dwell in stillness.
Observe without reacting and without judging.
- Jon Kabat-Zinn

We have to let go of all blame, all attacking, all judging,
to free our inner selves to attract what we say we want.
- Joe Vitale

I was married by a judge.
I should have asked for a jury.
- Groucho Marx


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Everybody is a genius.
But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree,
it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.
- Albert Einstein

If life is a trial, who is the judge and jury?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The man who says he is willing to meet you halfway
is usually a poor judge of distance.
- Laurence J. Peter


 

Who made the rule that life has to be so serious?
One would think that "life is serious" had been engraved
upon stone tablets to judge from how most lives are lived.
Get a life, smile broadly, sing loudly,
paint your rooms in bold colors,
search every rabbit hole for a magical white bunny,
have caviar for breakfast and oatmeal for dinner,
wear a purple coat with a red hat - dance lightly with life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Many people excuse their own faults
but judge other persons harshly.
We should reverse this attitude
by excusing others' shortcomings
and by harshly examining our own.
- Paramahansa Yogananda

If you judge people, you have no time to love them.
- Mother Teresa

We judge ourselves by what we feel capable of doing,
while others judge us by what we have already done.
- Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

Men in general judge more from
appearances than from reality. All
men have eyes, but few have
the gift of penetration.
- Niccolo Machiavelli

You can easily judge the character of others
by how they treat those who can
do nothing for them or to them.
- Malcolm S. Forbes

Judge your natural character
by what you do in your dreams.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

When you are impeccable, you take
responsibility for your actions,
but you do not judge or blame yourself.
- don Miguel Ruiz

I find hope in the darkest of days,
and focus in the brightest.
I do not judge the universe.
- Tenzin Gyatso, the 14th Dalai Lama

If we could first know where we are,
and whither we are tending,
we could then better judge what to do,
and how to do it.
- Abraham Lincoln

Whoever undertakes to set himself up
as a judge of Truth and Knowledge
is shipwrecked by the laughter of the gods.
- Albert Einstein

When I am able to resist the temptation to judge others,
I can see them as teachers.
- Gerald Jampolsky

A nation that is afraid to let its people
judge the truth and falsehood in an open market
is a nation that is afraid of its people.
- John F. Kennedy

Don't judge each day by the harvest you reap,
but by the seeds that you plant.
- Robert Louis Stevenson

You go against yourself when you
judge or blame yourself for anything
- don Miguel Ruiz

I Resist the Temptation to Judge Others.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I can only have peace of mind when I forgive rather than judge.
- Gerald Jampolsky

Use heroes as a springboard for inquiry
into the identity and nature of admirably human qualities.
Do not judge heroes -
neither to put them unquestioningly on a pedestal
nor to unkindly probe their flaws.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

When you are tempted to judge,
may you be reminded that we are ALL ONE,
and that every thought you think reverberates
across the universe touching everyone and everything.
- from the Simple Truths movie May You Be Blessed

We are not afraid to entrust the American people with unpleasant facts,
foreign ideas, alien philosophies, and competitive values.
For a nation that is afraid to let its people judge
the truth and falsehood in an open market
is a nation that is afraid of its people.
- John F. Kennedy

The greatest battle of all is simply... Life.
This is no child's game. This is the big one -
the Super Bowl - the Game of all games.
The rules of Life are unwritten and unknown.
Perhaps, one could say that there are no rules.
The Judge has ultimate power.
She can call the game at any time - for any reason.
The penalties in the Game are completely arbitrary -
in both timing and severity.
Penalty for what, we ask?
The Judge is silent.
How can I win the Game?
"You can never win," comes the answer,
"So just take pleasure in playing the Game."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Common Sense is that which judges
the things given to it by other senses.
- Leonardo da Vinci

Before the throne of the Almighty,
man will be judged not by his acts but by his intentions.
For God alone reads our hearts.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

The greatness of a nation can be judged
by the way its animals are treated.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

I have a dream that my four little children will one day
live in a nation where they will
not be judged by the color of their skin,
but by the content of their character.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

I look to a day when people will not be judged
by the color of their skin,
but by the content of their character.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

One does not leave a convivial party before closing time.
- Winston Churchill

There are two times when a man doesn't understand a woman -
before marriage and after marriage.
- Anonymous

A man is a fool if he drinks before he reaches the age of 50,
and a fool if he doesn't afterward.
- Frank Lloyd Wright

Procrastination is the bad habit of putting off
until the day after tomorrow what should
have been done the day before yesterday.
- Napoleon Hill

Why, sometimes I've believed as many as
six impossible things before breakfast.
- Lewis Carroll

Sometimes I've believed as many as
six impossible things before breakfast.
- Lewis Carroll

Strike an average between what a woman thinks of her husband
a month before she marries him
and what she thinks of him a year afterward,
and you will have the truth about him.
- H. L. Mencken

Always speak the truth,
think before you speak,
and write it down afterwards.
- Lewis Carroll

Bad taste is simply saying the truth before it should be said.
- Mel Brooks

Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, half shut afterwards.
- Benjamin Franklin

Praying is important when you wake up
at two o'clock in the morning
feeling sick from eating something dumb the day before.
- Charlie Brown in Charles M. Schulz' cartoon Peanuts

Perhaps one has to be very old before one learns
to be amused rather than shocked.
- Pearl S. Buck

I do not fear death.
I had been dead for billions and billions
of years before I was born,
and had not suffered the slightest inconvenience from it.
- Mark Twain

We must be willing to get rid of the life we've planned,
so as to have the life that is waiting for us.
The old skin has to be shed before the new one can come.
- Joseph Campbell

There are only two or three human stories,
and they go on repeating themselves as fiercely
as if they had never happened before.
- Willa Cather

What lies behind us and what lies before us
are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

My rule of life prescribed as an absolutely sacred rite
smoking cigars and also the drinking of alcohol
before, after and if need be during all meals
and in the intervals between them.
- Winston Churchill

My Mama always said you've got to put the past behind you
before you can move on.
- the movie Forrest Gump

In case you failed to notice,
in case you failed to see,
this is my heart,
bleeding before you,
this is me down on my knees.
- Jewel

Don't be dismayed by good-byes.
A farewell is necessary before you can meet again.
- Richard Bach

There is no easy walk to freedom anywhere,
and many of us will have to pass
through the valley of the shadow of death
again and again before we reach
the mountaintop of our desires.
- Nelson Mandela

Before moving on, you have to clear away your cherished beliefs.
- Dick Raymond

Before beginning a Hunt, it is wise to ask someone
what you are looking for before you begin looking for it.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)

We must be our own before we can be another's.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

We all have our thorns. We, and Life, have our moments.
Life occurs before our morning coffee.
Life occurs in our bathrobe with our hair uncombed.
Bless and give thanks for All of Life - the bloom and the thorns.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Man should forget his anger before he lies down to sleep.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

A wise girl kisses but doesn't love,
listens but doesn't believe,
and leaves before she is left.
- Marilyn Monroe

Cowards die many times before their deaths;
The valiant never taste of death but once.
- William Shakespeare

Follow your bliss and doors will open
where there were no doors before.
- Joseph Campbell

Nurturing is not complex.
It's simply being tuned in to the thing or person before you
and offering small gestures toward what it needs at that time.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

Love comes to those who still hope
even though they've been disappointed,
to those who still believe
even though they've been betrayed,
to those who still love
even though they've been hurt before.
- Anonymous

Children are born innocent.
Before they are domesticated they live in the moment,
love without fear, and don't even think about the opinions of others.
- don Miguel Ruiz

True friendship is a plant of slow growth,
and must undergo and withstand the shocks of adversity
before it is entitled to the appellation.
- George Washington

Never put passion before principle.
Even if win, you lose.
- Miyagi: character in the movie Karate Kid 2

Before God we are all equally wise - and equally foolish.
- Albert Einstein

For the very first time the young are
seeing history being made
before it is censored by their elders.
- Margaret Mead

Things are more like they are now than they ever were before.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

From far beyond this life,
I hear the call.
From place beyond all place,
I feel the call.
From time before all time,
I know the call.
From one before all ones,
I am the call.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


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