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Funny Investment Quotes
Funny Quotes about Investment

Let these funny Investment Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

Goodness is the only investment that never fails.
- Henry David Thoreau

If a man empties his purse into his head,
no man can take it away from him.
An investment in knowledge always pays the best interest.
- Benjamin Franklin

The tax on capital gains directly affects investment decisions,
the mobility and flow of risk capital...
the ease or difficulty experienced by new ventures in obtaining capital,
and thereby the strength and potential for growth in the economy.
- John F. Kennedy

Leave no stone unturned to help your clients realize
maximum profits from their investment.
- Arthur C. Nielsen


 

Because we're actors we can pretend and fake it,
but I'd rather the intimate investment was authentic.
- Keanu Reeves

But if you look at teams that want to share more revenues,
they're teams that don't have a lot on the table.
They've long since not had any serious investment in their team.
- Jerry Jones

Redistribution of wealth would require enormous amounts of investment.
The only time an elite has accepted this has been during crises,
such as in America in the 1930s under Roosevelt.
- Susan George


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The party line is that stocks historically have outperformed
all other investment plans.
- Jim Cramer

If you've got an industry where you've got massive investment,
it doesn't matter whether you bring in alternative supplies.
You still lose the money on that industry.
- Arthur Scargill

Much of what is called investment is actually nothing
more than mergers and acquisitions,
and of course mergers and acquisitions are generally
accompanied by downsizing.
- Susan George

Social Security is a family insurance program,
not an investment scheme.
- Diane Watson

You can't have personal investors anymore because it's too expensive,
so you have to have corporate investment or a lot of rich people.
- Stephen Sondheim

The current system punishes communities which make
the investment in creating landfills,
only to have them filled by states which refuse to
adequately address their waste issues.
- Paul Gillmor

We got more provisions for our whiskey than the same money,
which we paid for the liquor, would have bought;
so after all it proved a very profitable investment.
- Buffalo Bill

If I'm a commodity, it wouldn't be a wise idea to buy stock in me -
although,
in the long run, maybe I'm a slow growth investment.
- Tim Robbins

You don't make spending decisions, investment decisions,
hiring decisions, or whether-you're-going-to-look-for-a-job
decisions when you don't know what's going to happen.
- Michael Bloomberg

From that moment on, the newspaper became a highly
lucrative investment for those with a talent for making
money or for publishers wanting to gain a fortune.
- Ferdinand Lassalle

Modern medical advances have helped millions of people live longer,
healthier lives.
We owe these improvements to decades of investment in medical research.
- Ike Skelton

Build into each budget the cost of hiring and don't
lump yourself with capital investment.
- Ann Macbeth

Translation makes me look at how a poem is put together in a different way,
without the personal investment of the poem I'm writing myself,
but equally closely technically.
- Marilyn Hacker

So the major obstacle to the development of new supplies
is not geology but what happens above ground:
international affairs,
politics, investment and technology.
- Daniel Yergin

The government can help, but we need to make this transition
now to a recovery led by private investment,
private.
- Timothy Geithner

The U.S.
and Israel probably lead the way in terms of venture
investment in technologies companies focused on the security paradigm.
That is quite encouraging.
- John W. Thompson

Traditional investment vehicles such as IRAs,
CDs, stocks and bonds do have their place,
but for the rich, they are used more as temporary storage
facilities rather than life-long homes.
- Bo Bennett

I have no ego investment in being on the air.
I don't knock others for whom that kind of attention is like oxygen,
but I don't miss anything about it.
- Hugh Downs

Education technology and school construction go together.
Modernization, updating education facilities,
and making a capital investment in education are all included.
- Major Owens

Education is the investment our generation makes in the future.
- Mitt Romney

Real economic stimulus comes from real investment.
- Tim Bishop

Producers are not gamblers.
They want a good return on their investment.
- Max von Sydow

With an annual investment of $66 billion by 2007,
we can save 8 million lives each year.
- Gro Harlem Brundtland

The thing about movies these days is that the commerce
end of it is so inflated and financiers are just expecting
this enormous return on their investment.
- Alex Winter

My early work and publications centered around expanding
on the analysis of life insurance in my dissertation
and its relationship to investment banking.
- Douglass North

Everybody you talk to about insurance says the insurance
market has become a lot more vibrant as a result of lifting,
allowing the foreign direct investment.
- John W. Snow

The land is not in the least bit fertile and yet the
cattle herds grow larger and larger.
A cow represents capital investment here.
- Richard Leakey

We are seeing significant growth in foreign investment in Germany.
- Gerhard Schroder

We need to end permanently the tax that punishes American
values of savings and investment and of building small
businesses and family farms and ranches.
- Kit Bond

That's the value of a college education...
I don't know anywhere in the world where you can make
an investment and make that kind of return.
- Gaston Caperton

Google is making a huge investment in developing the Ajax approach.
- Jesse James Garrett

My best investment is my imagination,
because it has never failed to bring me my greatest returns!
- Randy Castillo

My hope is that countries like Morocco will have investment to create work,
so people don't have to leave.
- Tahar Ben Jelloun

The amount of work and the amount of both physical
and emotional investment it takes to get to the top.
- Drew Bledsoe

This is my first visit to Africa, a region where President
Bush has voiced a deep passion for fostering and encouraging economic development,
investment and trade.
- Donald Evans

I believe that States should be credited for their
non-Federal investment in revenue-generating transportation
facilities to address their regional transportation needs.
- Michael Burgess

Its success lies in the fact that it's an insurance plan,
not an investment plan or a welfare plan.
- James Roosevelt

International lending banks need to focus on areas
where private investment doesn't go,
such as infrastructure projects, education and poverty relief.
- Joseph Stiglitz

Ladies and gentlemen: There can be no greater investment
in Alabama's future than an investment in education.
- Bob Riley

Public education is an investment in our future.
- Matt Blunt

We will as soon as possible reexamine our laws and
policies and eliminate all obstacles to genuine investment.
- Olusegun Obasanjo

American consumers benefit from free trade and investment.
- John Shadegg

European investment in Texas alone exceeds all U.S.
investment in China and Japan put together.
- John Bruton

People who think about art as an investment are pathetic.
- Walter Annenberg

No other investment yields as great a return as the investment in education.
An educated workforce is the foundation of every community
and the future of every economy.
- Brad Henry

An investment in knowledge pays the best interest.
- Benjamin Franklin

Indeed, American companies make three times as much
profits from their investment in one E.U.
country, Ireland, than they do from all their investments in China.
- John Bruton

Pension reforms, like investment advice and automatic enrollment,
will strengthen the ability of Americans to save and invest for retirement.
- Steve Bartlett

In Africa today, we recognise that trade and investment,
and not aid, are pillars of development.
- Paul Kagame

To allow all U.S.
workers to put part of their earnings into private
investment accounts would definitely erode the Social
Security system and cause uncertainty for new investors.
- Grace Napolitano

There is no investment you can make which will pay
you so well as the effort to scatter sunshine and good
cheer through your establishment.
- Orison Swett Marden

Tax cuts are an investment in working families.
- Tommy Thompson

Education is not only a ladder of opportunity,
but it is also an investment in our future.
- Ed Markey

If Congress doesn't raise taxes, you cannot get a private
investment account without forgoing a portion,
possibly all, of your guaranteed benefit check.
- Grace Napolitano

When the students are occupied, they're not juvenile delinquents.
I believe that education is a capital investment.
- Arlen Specter

Finance is critical.
If sufficient investment is made in infrastructure
and venture capital is made available,
there will be a big improvement in the situation.
- Sanjay Kumar

We need to make a greater investment in human intelligence.
- Bob Graham

The social object of skilled investment should be to
defeat the dark forces of time and ignorance which envelope our future.
- John Maynard Keynes

President Obama instituted the most anti-growth,
anti-investment, anti-jobs measures that we have seen in our lifetime.
Now he called his agenda ambitious, I call it reckless.
- Mitt Romney

We simply have to become more competitive as a state
if we're going to be successful in creating jobs,
bringing capital investment and raising income levels here in South Carolina.
- Mark Sanford

The need for improved technical support in schools
has expanded as the Government and schools have increased
their investment in information and communications technologies.
- Estelle Morris

We would certainly welcome the recipient nation to
put their inspectors on our shores,
if they wanted to make that investment to help protect
that shipment that is outgoing.
- Asa Hutchinson

One of the things that has been truly incredible to observe though,
is the amount of venture investment that has gone into
early stage security technology.
- John W. Thompson

Every time in this century we've lowered the tax rates across the board,
on employment, on saving, investment and risk-taking in this economy,
revenues went up, not down.
- Jack Kemp


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