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Funny Invent Quotes
Funny Quotes about Invent

Let these funny Invent Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

Give the right man two fishes and some bread,
and he will feed the world;
give the wrong man two fishes and some bread
and he will invent the fast-food fish sandwich.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The best way to predict the future is to invent it.
- Alan Kay

In order to make an apple pie from scratch,
you must first invent the universe.
- Carl Sagan

America did not invent human rights.
In a very real sense, it is the other way around.
Human rights invented America.
- Jimmy Carter


 

The poet doesn't invent.
He listens.
- Jean Cocteau

We believe that if men have the talent
to invent new machines that put men out of work,
they have the talent to put those men back to work.
- John F. Kennedy

I just invent, then wait until man comes around to
needing what I've invented.
- R. Buckminster Fuller


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People who cannot invent and reinvent themselves must
be content with borrowed postures,
secondhand ideas, fitting in instead of standing out.
- Warren G. Bennis

Now, I guess, people want stars.
People are trying to invent stars.
- Oscar Robertson

I'm more interested in what I discover than what I invent.
- Paul Simon

Before the work comes to you, you have to invent work.
- Steve Lacy

It frequently happens that two persons,
reasoning right on a mechanical subject,
think alike and invent the same thing without any communication with each other.
- Oliver Evans

The first qualification for a historian is to have no ability to invent.
- Stendhal

If life doesn't offer a game worth playing,
then invent a new one.
- Anthony J. D'Angelo

The human mind is inspired enough when it comes to inventing horrors;
it is when it tries to invent a Heaven that it shows itself cloddish.
- Evelyn Waugh

I'm still the same person, thinking the same way,
so it's possible I will invent something.
- Erno Rubik

Writing a play, you start with less,
so more is demanded of you.
It's as if you have to not only write a symphony,
but invent the instruments as well.
- David Ives

To invent an airplane is nothing.
To build one is something.
But to fly is everything.
- Otto Lilienthal

The mind cannot support moral chaos for long.
Men are under as strong a compulsion to invent an ethical
setting for their behavior as spiders are to weave themselves webs.
- John Dos Passos

If there were no God, it would be necessary to invent him.
- Voltaire

Why have we had to invent Eden, to live submerged in
the nostalgia of a lost paradise,
to make up utopias, propose a future for ourselves?
- Julio Cortazar

You must invent your own games and teach us old ones how to play.
- Nikki Giovanni

A truth that's told with bad intent beats all the lies you can invent.
- William Blake

Well, it was kind of an accident, because plastic is
not what I meant to invent.
I had just sold photograph paper to Eastman Kodak for 1 million dollars.
- Leo Baekeland

If you're trying to invent something new,
you're going to reach a lot of discouraging points,
and most people give up.
- Steve Lacy

We can invent only with memory.
- Alphonse Karr

You ask any actor - they'll tell you they'd rather
shoot on location because you don't have to invent the energy,
the energy is there.
- Adrian Grenier

I liked to work in a shop down in the basement and
invent things and build gadgets.
- Francis Ford Coppola

Unless the reformer can invent something which substitutes
attractive virtues for attractive vices,
he will fail.
- Walter Lippmann

I think we invent jargon because it saves times talking to one-another.
- John M. Smith

Today, if you invent a better mousetrap,
the government comes along with a better mouse.
- Ronald Reagan

I have a sense that many Americans, especially those
like me with European or foreign parents,
feel they have to invent their families just as they
have to invent themselves.
- Philip Levine

Nobody was ever meant, To remember or invent,
What he did with every cent.
- Robert Frost

If there is no sufficient reason for war,
the war party will make war on one pretext,
then invent another...
after the war is on.
- Robert M. La Follette

Most people outside of America won't get it.
It's the Easter bunny.
It's another lie and I don't understand why we had
to invent this character.
- Todd Rundgren

Human beings have an inalienable right to invent themselves;
when that right is pre-empted it is called brain-washing.
- Germaine Greer

I wanted to invent an engine that could run for ever.
I could have developed a new train, had I stayed in the railway.
It would have looked like the AK-47 though.
- Mikhail Kalashnikov

He spends his life explaining from his pulpit that
the glory of Christianity consists in the fact that
though it is not true it has been found necessary to invent it.
- Hector Hugh Munro

If God did not exist, it would be necessary to invent Him.
- Voltaire

Anything that won't sell, I don't want to invent.
Its sale is proof of utility, and utility is success.
- Thomas A. Edison

Whenever ideas fail, men invent words.
- Martin H. Fischer

I write the vocals last, because I wanted to invent
the music first and push the music to the level that
I had to compete against it.
- Axl Rose

If God wanted us to be naked, why did he invent sexy lingerie?
- Shannen Doherty

We don't invent our natures.
They're issued to us along with our lungs,
our pancreas and everything else.
- Michael E. Mann

I have terrible hearing trouble.
I have unwittingly helped to invent and refine a type
of music that makes its principal proponents deaf.
- Pete Townshend

Imaginary pains are by far the most real we suffer,
since we feel a constant need for them and invent them
because there is no way of doing without them.
- Emile M. Cioran

The truth is not wonderful enough to suit the newspapers;
so they enlarge upon it,
and invent ridiculous embellishments.
- Anne Sullivan

Before 1980, it was basically illegal for U.S.
banks to invent new products.
- Scott Cook

Once I'd chosen the songs, it seemed like it would
just be a question then of recording them.
But it's a case of trying to re-invent the songs;
taking them in different directions.
- Martin Gore

It is function of government to invent philosophies
to explain the demands of its own convenience.
- Murray Kempton

You cannot possibly invent painting all by yourself.
- Pierre Bonnard

I invent nothing, I rediscover.
- Auguste Rodin

Dictators never invent their own opportunities.
- R. Buckminster Fuller

I use my mind to solve problems and invent things.
- Temple Grandin

It's a struggle but that's why we exist,
so that another generation of Lesbians of color will
not have to invent themselves,
or their history, all over again.
- Audre Lorde

Young people are fitter to invent than to judge;
fitter for execution than for counsel;
and more fit for new projects than for settled business.
- Francis Bacon

To invent, you need a good imagination and a pile of junk.
- Thomas A. Edison

If you are a novelist of a certain type of temperament,
then what you really want to do is re-invent the world.
God wasn't too bad a novelist, except he was a Realist.
- John Barth

In order to rally people, governments need enemies...
if they do not have a real enemy, they will invent
one in order to mobilize us.
- Nhat Hanh

From a commercial point of view, if Christmas did not
exist it would be necessary to invent it.
- Katherine Whitehorn

There's this sense of excitement because you invent
and control the characters.
You decide whether they live or die.
I find this type of creative process tremendously stimulating.
- Sidney Sheldon

We would have to invent the U.N.
if we did not have it, which is not an original thought.
- Shirley Temple

I wanted to invent myself as a fictional character.
And I did, and it has caused a great deal of confusion.
- Jeanette Winterson

Given that external reality is a fiction,
the writer's role is almost superfluous.
He does not need to invent the fiction because it is already there.
- J. G. Ballard

In a revolution, as in a novel, the most difficult
part to invent is the end.
- Alexis de Tocqueville

God forgives those who invent what they need.
- Lillian Hellman

I never 'say' anything in my work.
I invent a world.
Let others decide what is being 'said'.
- Howard Barker

Inventing is a skill that some people have and some people don't.
But you can learn how to invent.
- Ray Dolby

I don't think we have very good records about what
they were thinking except,
as I pointed out earlier today, that they did invent our political system.
- David R. Brower

If I need something, I'll invent it.
- Mickey Spillane

No matter how skillful you are, you can't invent a
product advantage that doesn't exist.
And if you do, and it's just a gimmick,
it's going to fall apart anyway.
- William Bernbach


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- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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