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Funny Invent Quotes
Funny Quotes about Invent

Let these funny Invent Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

Give the right man two fishes and some bread,
and he will feed the world;
give the wrong man two fishes and some bread
and he will invent the fast-food fish sandwich.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

America did not invent human rights.
In a very real sense, it is the other way around.
Human rights invented America.
- Jimmy Carter

We believe that if men have the talent
to invent new machines that put men out of work,
they have the talent to put those men back to work.
- John F. Kennedy

Everything that can be invented has been invented.
- Charles H. Duell [attributed]
(Commissioner, US Patent Office, in 1899)


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When you ask the wrong question,
you usually get a nonsense answer.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

All the works of man have their origin in creative fantasy.
What right have we then to depreciate imagination.
- Carl Jung

Necessity is the mother of invention.
- Proverb


 

Human subtlety will never devise an invention
more beautiful, more simple or more direct than does nature,
because in her inventions nothing is lacking,
and nothing is superfluous.
- Leonardo da Vinci

There is nothing to do - and the River flows.
There is nothing to say - and the River flows.
There is nothing to think - and the River flows.
There is nothing to feel - and the River flows.
The River flows - and all else is our drama.
The River flows - and all else is our invention.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The River of Life has no meaning, no good, no bad,
no better, no worse, no love, no hate, no fear, no anger, no joy.
The River of Life has no judgment, no expectation.
The River of Life just IS. There is nothing to do.
There is nothing to say.
There is nothing to think.
There is nothing to feel.
The River just flows. The River is the source of all nourishment -
the source of all obstacles.
The River is the source of all life - the source of all death.
The River is the source of all joy - and the source of all sorrow.
Yet the River has no joy - and the River has no sorrow.
The River is just the River.
One can flow harmoniously with the River -
or one can struggle fearfully against the River -
and the River just flows.
One can accept the River - or one can deny the River -
and the River just flows.
One can worship the River of Life - or one can curse the River of Life -
and the River just flows. There is nothing to do - and the River flows.
There is nothing to say - and the River flows.
There is nothing to think - and the River flows.
There is nothing to feel - and the River flows.
The River flows - and all else is our drama.
The River flows - and all else is our invention.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

If something is important to you,
attend to it immediately, and regularly.
If something is not really important to you,
that's great also -
just scratch it off your to-do list forever,
and never worry about it again.
Choose how you invest your time, and honor your choices.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

One of the greatest titles we can have is "old friend."
We never appreciate how important old friends are until we are older.
The problem is we need to start our old friendships when we are young.
We then have to nurture and grow those friendships over our middle age
when a busy life and changing geographies
can cause us to neglect those friends.
Today is the day to invest in those people
we hope will call us "old friend" in the years to come.
- Grant Fairley

Yeah I called her up. She gave me a bunch of ...
about me not listening to her, or something.
I don't know, I wasn't really paying attention.
- the movie Dumb & Dumber (1994)

I feel the need to express something,
but I don't know what it is I want to express.
- the movie Interiors

I don't care whose fault this was, just get it sorted!
And could someone please bring me something deep fat fried
and smothered in chocolate.
- the movie Shrek 2

Today is probably a good day for something;
but it's a better day for doing nothing.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

A New Year's resolution is something that
goes in one Year and out the other.
- Anonymous

If you can find something everyone agrees on, it's wrong.
- Mo Udall

If everything seems to be going well,
you have obviously overlooked something.
- Anonymous

Normal is not something to aspire to,
it's something to get away from.
- Jodie Foster

Well excuse me - we've got something
a little unusual going on here -
time travel, parallel universes,
or just a little common ordinary insanity.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Guilt for being rich,
and guilt thinking that perhaps love and peace isn't enough
and you have to go and get shot or something.
- John Lennon

In soloing - as in other activities -
it is far easier to start something
than it is to finish it.
- Amelia Earhart

Man is a credulous animal, and must believe something;
in the absence of good grounds for belief,
he will be satisfied with bad ones.
- Bertrand Russell

Advertising is the art of convincing people to spend money
they don't have for something they don't need.
- Will Rogers

Do something wonderful, people may imitate it.
- Albert Schweitzer

Praying is important when you wake up
at two o'clock in the morning
feeling sick from eating something dumb the day before.
- Charlie Brown in Charles M. Schulz' cartoon Peanuts

If a man smiles all the time,
he's probably selling something that doesn't work.
- George Carlin

Creationists make it sound as though a "theory'
is something you dreamt up after being drunk all night.
- Isaac Asimov

Ending a sentence with a preposition is
something up with which I will not put.
- Winston Churchill

If you want to make enemies,
try to change something.
- Woodrow Wilson

Sometimes I wonder if we shall ever grow up
in our politics and say definite things which mean something,
or whether we shall always go on using generalities
to which everyone can subscribe, and which mean very little.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

Move out of your comfort zone. You can only
grow if you are willing to feel awkward and
uncomfortable when you try something new.
- Brian Tracy

Our faith gives us knowledge of something better.
- E. F. Schumacher

Some years ago I became president of Columbia University
and learned within 24 hours to be ready
to speak at the drop of a hat,
and I learned something more, the trustees were expected
to be ready to speak at the passing of the hat.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

Listen to the cry of a woman in labor at the hour of giving birth -
look at the dying man's struggle at his last extremity,
and then tell me whether something that begins and ends thus
could be intended for enjoyment.
- Soren Kierkegaard

You have enemies? Good.
That means you've stood up for something,
sometime in your life.
- Winston Churchill

Those who believe they can do something
and those who believe they can't
are both right.
- Henry Ford

Our desires always disappoint us;
for though we meet with something that gives us satisfaction,
yet it never thoroughly answers our expectation.
- Elbert Hubbard

You can't do anything about the length of your life,
but you can do something about its width and depth.
- Evan Esar

Don't live down to expectations.
Go out there and do something remarkable.
- Wendy Wasserstein

Anything I can not transform
into something marvelous, I let go.
- Anais Nin

Fear of something is at the root of hate for others,
and hate within will eventually destroy the hater.
- George Washington Carver

We disrespect ourselves and our free-will
whenever we say that we NEED to do something.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The moment we want to believe something,
we suddenly see all the arguments for it,
and become blind to the arguments against it.
- George Bernard Shaw

When a stupid man is doing something he is ashamed of,
he always declares that it's his duty.
- George Bernard Shaw

When one has nothing to lose, one becomes courageous.
We are timid only when
there is something we can still cling to.
- Carlos Castaneda

Happiness is not something ready made.
It comes from your own actions.
- Tenzin Gyatso, the 14th Dalai Lama

Through pride we are ever deceiving ourselves.
But deep down below the surface of the average conscience
a still, small voice says to us, something is out of tune.
- Carl Jung

There is joy in work.
There is no happiness except in the realization
that we have accomplished something.
- Henry Ford

When people hear good music,
it makes them homesick for
something they never had,
and never will have.
- Edgar Watson Howe

The creation of something new
is not accomplished by the intellect
but by the play instinct acting from inner necessity.
The creative mind plays with the objects it loves.
- Carl Jung

Abundance is not something we acquire.
It is something we tune into.
- Wayne Dyer

Destiny is not a matter of chance,
It is a matter of choice.
It is not something to be waited for,
But rather something to be achieved.
- William Jennings Bryan

Be not merely good; be good for something.
- Henry David Thoreau

Courage is not the absence of fear,
but rather the judgement that something else
is more important than fear.
- Ambrose Redmoon

Sometimes one creates a dynamic impression
by saying something,
and sometimes one creates as significant
an impression by remaining silent.
- Tenzin Gyatso, the 14th Dalai Lama

If you want something to be different than it is,
you might as well teach a cat to bark.
Wanting something to be different than it is, is hopeless.
- Byron Katie

We are just an advanced breed of monkeys
on a minor planet of a very average star.
But we can understand the Universe.
That makes us something very special.
- Stephen Hawking

Never say there is nothing beautiful in the world anymore.
There is always something to make you wonder
in the shape of a tree, the trembling of a leaf.
- Albert Schweitzer

A man who won't die for something is not fit to live.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

The ultimate test of a man's conscience
may be his willingness to sacrifice something today
for future generations whose words of thanks will not be heard.
- Gaylord Nelson

Existence needs you.
Without you, something will be missing
in existence and nobody can replace it.
Thats what gives you dignity,
that the whole existence will miss you.
- Osho

I submit to you that if a man hasn't
discovered something that he will die for,
he isn't fit to live.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

If a man hasn't discovered something that he will die for,
he isn't fit to live.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

We act as though comfort and luxury
were the chief requirements of life,
when all that we need to make us really happy
is something to be enthusiastic about.
- Charles Kingsley

I get bored very easily, ...
I have a voracious appetite and I do not feel alive
if I'm repeating something I'm good at.
So I'm always looking for new challenges.
- Jewel

For everything you have missed,
you have gained something else,
and for everything you gain,
you lose something else.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Do not be too moral.
You may cheat yourself out of much life.
So aim above morality.
Be not simply good;
be good for something.
- Henry David Thoreau

To succeed, you need to find
something to hold on to,
something to motivate you,
something to inspire you.
- Tony Dorsett

You should never be content with so little,
when you can reach out for something big.
- Charles L. Allen
(This quote is about making a big difference
in the world - not about greed)


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


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