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Funny Insulting Quotes
Funny Quotes about Insulting

Let these funny Insulting Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

It is not he who reviles or strikes you who insults you,
but your opinion that these things are insulting.
- Epictetus

Insult comes not from the mouth,
but from the ear.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Re-examine all that you have been told...
dismiss that which insults your soul.
- Walt Whitman

Examine what is said, not him who speaks.
- Arabian Proverb


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When I examine myself and my methods of thought,
I come to the conclusion that the gift of fantasy
has meant more to me than
any talent for absorbing positive knowledge.
- Albert Einstein

If there is anything that we wish to change in the child,
we should first examine it and see whether it is
not something that could better be changed in ourselves.
- Carl Jung

When you see something done,
know that you intended it.
If you don't like what you see,
then deeply examine your intentions.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


 

The Master speaks more directly,
"If you want something done,
just relax, and see it as being done.
Better yet, when you see something done,
know that you intended it."
When I ask, "What if I don't like what I see done?",
He answers, "then deeply examine your intentions."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

He early on let her know who is the boss.
He looked her right in the eye and clearly said, "You're the boss."
- Anonymous humor

Confucius might have said:
Once frightened, twice smelly in armpit.
- Anonymous humor

Look your best - who said love is blind?
- Mae West

Delusion: belief said to be false by someone who does not share it.
- Thomas Szasz

It is said that the world is in a state of bankruptcy,
that the world owes the world more than the world can pay.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

"When I use a word," Humpty Dumpty said in rather a scornful tone,
"it means just what I choose it to mean - neither more nor less."
- Lewis Carroll

"But I don't want to go among mad people," said Alice.
"Oh, you can't help that," said the cat. "We're all mad here."
- Lewis Carroll

Are we there yet? are we there yet? are we there yet?
- said by Donkey in the movie Shrek 2

Bad taste is simply saying the truth before it should be said.
- Mel Brooks

"The time has come," the walrus said, "to talk of many things:
of shoes and ships - and sealing wax - of cabbages and kings."
- Lewis Carroll

Donkey, you HAVE the right to remain silent.
What you lack, is the capacity.
- said by Shrek in the movie Shrek 2

Sometimes it is said that man cannot be trusted
with the government of himself.
Can he, then be trusted with the government of others?
Or have we found angels in the form of kings to govern him?
Let history answer this question.
- Thomas Jefferson

The God of Children and Fools:
There once was a man way up high,
who sat on his chair in the sky.
he called down to fool us,
and said he would rule us,
until we woke up bye and bye.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

People will forget what you said,
people will forget what you did,
but people will never forget
how you made them feel.
- Maya Angelou

"Rabbit's clever," said Pooh thoughtfully.
"Yes," said Piglet, "Rabbit's clever."
"And he has Brain."
"Yes," said Piglet, "Rabbit has Brain."
There was a long silence.
"I suppose," said Pooh, "that that's why he never understands anything."
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)

"Just living is not enough," said the butterfly,
"one must have sunshine, freedom and a little flower."
- Hans Christian Andersen

Never interrupt someone doing what you said couldn't be done.
- Amelia Earhart

Mama always said life was like a box of chocolates.
You never know what you're gonna get.
- the movie Forrest Gump

Believe nothing, no matter where you read it,
or who said it, no matter if I have said it,
unless it agrees with your own reason
and your own common sense.
- The Buddha

If the only prayer you said in your whole life was,
Thank you, that would suffice.
- Meister Eckhart

"Sometimes," said Pooh, "the smallest things take up the most room in your heart."
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)

Momma always said dyin' was a part of life.
I sure wish it wasn't.
- the movie Forrest Gump

My Mama always said you've got to put the past behind you
before you can move on.
- the movie Forrest Gump

Die when I may, I want it said by those who knew me best
that I always plucked a thistle and planted a flower
where I thought a flower would grow.
- Abraham Lincoln

Never say or do anything you wouldn't want
to be the last thing you ever said or did.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

"Begin at the beginning," the King said, very gravely,
"and go on till you come to the end: then stop."
- Lewis Carroll

We can only be said to be truly alive in those moments
when our hearts are conscious of our treasures.
- Thornton Wilder

I've learned that people will forget what you said,
people will forget what you did,
but people will never forget how you made them feel.
- Maya Angelou

Piglet sidled up to Pooh from behind. "Pooh?" he whispered.
"Yes, Piglet?"
"Nothing," said Piglet, taking Pooh's hand.
"I just wanted to be sure of you."
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)

Well done is better than well said.
- Benjamin Franklin

I want it said of me by those who knew me best,
that I always plucked a thistle and planted a flower
where I thought a flower would grow.
- Abraham Lincoln

Music expresses that which can not be said
and on which it is impossible to be silent.
- Victor Hugo

Courage is fear that has said its prayers.
- Karl Barth

I don't see much sense in that," said Rabbit.
"No," said Pooh humbly, "there isn't.
But there was going to be when I began it.
It's just that something happened to it along the way."
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)

When I look back on all these worries,
I remember the story of the old man who said on his deathbed
that he had had a lot of trouble in his life,
most of which had never happened.
- Winston Churchill

I unconditionally forgive myself for everything
that I have ever done, said, or thought
that has caused me harm or suffering.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

In my prayers I never said I needed a home.
I said I wanted a sanctuary.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

It has been said that democracy is the worst form of government,
except all the others that have been tried.
- Winston Churchill

A man is relieved and gay when he has
put his heart into his work and done his best;
but what he has said or done otherwise
shall give him no peace.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

You have heard that it was said,
"Love your neighbor and hate your enemy."
But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.
- Matthew 5:43-44

When all is said and done,
the one sole condition that makes
spiritual happiness and preserves it
is the absence of doubt.
- Mark Twain

"Good morning!" he said at last.
"We don't want any adventures here, thank you!
You might try over The Hill or across The Water."
- J. R. R. Tolkien

There is no subject so old that something new cannot be said about it.
- Fyodor Dostoyevsky

I believe in God, but not as one thing,
not as an old man in the sky.
I believe that what people call God
is something in all of us.
I believe that what Jesus and Mohammed and Buddha
and all the rest said was right.
It's just that the translations have gone wrong.
- John Lennon

Overflowing Cup of Tea:
The Zen Master poured his visitor's teacup full, and then kept pouring.
The visitor watched until he could no longer restrain himself.
"It is overfull. No more will go in!"
"Like this cup," the Zen Master said,
"you are full of your own opinions and assumptions.
How can you learn truth until you first empty your cup?"
- Traditional Zen Koan

What if it were only an illusion?
Perhaps life is not as threatening as it appears.
Perhaps the greatest threat to our serenity
is our fear of the future -
our fear of the unknown.
Perhaps, as Franklin D. Roosevelt said,
"The Only Thing We Have to Fear Is Fear Itself."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

One day Alice came to a fork in the road
and saw a Cheshire cat in a tree.
"Which road do I take?" she asked.
His responses was a question: "Where do you want to go?"
"I don't know," Alice answered.
"Then," said the cat, "it doesn't matter."
- Lewis Carroll

It is my desire, in the office of a Christian minister,
to do nothing which I cannot do with my whole heart.
Having said this, I have said all.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Every man is said to have his peculiar ambition.
Whether it be true or not, I can say for one
that I have no other so great as that
of being truly esteemed of my fellow men,
by rendering myself worthy of their esteem.
- Abraham Lincoln

I unconditionally forgive everyone for all hurt
that I have ever experienced in the presence of their actions.
I unconditionally forgive myself for everything that I have ever done,
said, or thought that has caused me harm or suffering.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

When a man you like switches from what
he said a year ago, or four years ago,
he is a broad-minded person who has courage enough
to change his mind with changing conditions.
When a man you don't like does it,
he is a liar who has broken his promise.
- Franklin Pierce Adams

(Jesus on Love)
You have heard that it was said,
"Love your neighbor and hate your enemy."
But I tell you: Love your enemies
and pray for those who persecute you.
- Matthew 5:43-44

How true Daddy's words were when he said:
all children must look after their own upbringing.
Parents can only give good advice
or put them on the right paths,
but the final forming of a person's character
lies in their own hands.
- Anne Frank

God is the great mysterious motivator of what we call nature,
and it has often been said by philosophers,
that nature is the will of God.
And I prefer to say that nature
is the only body of God that we shall ever see.
- Frank Lloyd Wright

A wise one said, "We are most like God when we forgive."
It is easy for us to blame, but hard for us to forgive.
Yet that is what we are called upon to do -
to forgive everyone for everything.
And the reward?
In this life, the reward for forgiveness
is your own happiness.
Unconditional universal forgiveness is
the key to your own happiness.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

If by chance some day you're not feeling well
and you should remember some silly thing I've said or done
and it brings back a smile to your face or a chuckle to your heart,
then my purpose as your clown has been fulfilled.
- Red Skelton

There is another old poet whose name I do not now remember
who said, "Truth is the daughter of Time."
- Abraham Lincoln

Love Your Enemies
Ye have heard that it hath been said,
Thou shalt love thy neighbor, and hate thine enemy.
But I say unto you, Love your enemies,
bless them that curse you,
do good to them that hate you,
and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you.
- Jesus of Nazareth (Matthew 5:43-44)

(Jesus on Anger and Revenge)
You have heard that it was said,
"Eye for eye, and tooth for tooth."
But I tell you, Do not resist an evil person.
If someone strikes you on the right cheek,
turn to him the other also.
- Matthew 5:38-39

Then came Peter to him, and said,
Lord, how oft shall my brother sin against me,
and I forgive him? till seven times?
Jesus saith unto him, I say not unto thee,
Until seven times: but, Until seventy times seven.
- Matthew 18:21-22

He said to them, "Where is your faith?"
And they were afraid, and marveled, saying to one another,
"Who can this be?
For He commands even the winds and water,
and they obey Him!"
- Luke 8:25

Tell the audience what you're going to say,
say it;
then tell them what you've said.
- Dale Carnegie

Jesus said: "A man was going down from Jerusalem to Jericho,
when he fell into the hands of robbers.
They stripped him of his clothes, beat him
and went away, leaving him half dead.
A priest happened to be going down the same road,
and when he saw the man, he passed by on the other side.
So too, a Levite [religious leader],
when he came to the place and saw him,
passed by on the other side.
But a Samaritan [Samaritans and Jews generally disliked
and were suspicious of each other] came where the man was;
and when he saw him, he took pity on him.
He went to him and bandaged his wounds ... and ...
took him to an inn and took care of him. ...
Jesus [said] "Go and do likewise."
- Luke 10:25-37 (The Parable of the Good Samaritan)


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


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