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Let these funny Instrument Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
Gardening is an instrument of grace.
- May Sarton
War is an instrument entirely inefficient
toward redressing wrong;
and multiplies, instead of indemnifying losses.
- Thomas Jefferson
The fibers of all things have their tension
and are strained like the strings of an instrument.
- Henry David Thoreau
Lord, make me an instrument of thy peace.
- St Francis of Assisi
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Everything that slows us down and forces patience,
everything that sets us back into the slow circles of nature,
is a help. Gardening is an instrument of grace.
- May Sarton
Lord, make me an instrument of thy peace.
Where there is hatred, let me sow love.
- St. Francis of Assisi
Today, like every other day, we wake up empty
and frightened. Don't open the door to the study
and begin reading. Take down a musical instrument.
Let the beauty we love be what we do.
There are hundreds of ways to kneel and kiss the ground.
- Rumi (Persian poet 1207-1273)
Lord, make me an instrument of your peace,
Where there is hatred, let me sow love;
where there is injury, pardon;
...
For it is in giving that we receive;
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned.
- attributed to St. Francis of Assisi
Prayer:
Lord God, Holy Spirit, Giver of All Light,
Bless and Keep All Those of This World.
Grant Us Your Peace, Your Light, Your Love.
Grant Us Complete Renewal of Body, Mind and Spirit -
Continual Rebirth in Newness of Life.
Let Your Light Shine Upon Us and Be Gracious to Us.
Grant to Each and Every One of Us:
Health, Comfort, Joy, Peace Within Ourselves,
Peace Within Our Families, Peace Within Our Communities,
and Peace among All those This World.
Grant That I May Be an Instrument of Thy Peace.
Grant That I May Radiate Thy Peace, Thy Light, Thy Love,
Thy Healing, Thy Comfort, Thy Joy,
to All Those Around Me and All Those in My Thoughts
This Day and Ever More. AMEN.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Prayer is not an old woman's idle amusement.
Properly understood and applied,
it is the most potent instrument of action.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
The body is an instrument which
only gives off music when it is used as a body.
Always an orchestra, and just as music traverses walls,
so sensuality traverses the body and reaches up to ecstasy.
- Anais Nin
The Prayer of St. Francis of Assisi
Lord, make me an instrument of your peace,
Where there is hatred, let me sow love;
where there is injury, pardon;
where there is doubt, faith;
where there is despair, hope;
where there is darkness, light;
where there is sadness, joy.
O Divine Master,
grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console;
to be understood as to understand;
to be loved as to love.
For it is in giving that we receive;
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned;
and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.
- although attributed to St. Francis of Assisi,
this prayer first appeared (written in French) in 1912
Measures must always, in a progressive society,
be held superior to men, who are after all,
imperfect instruments, working for their fulfillment.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
A man's friendships are one of the best measures of his worth.
- Charles Darwin
There are other measures of self-respect for a man,
than the number of clean shirts he puts on every day.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
The United States strongly seeks a lasting agreement
for the discontinuance of nuclear weapons tests.
We believe that this would be an important step toward reduction
of international tensions and would open the way
to further agreement on substantial measures of disarmament.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.
- W. C. Fields
Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits
and then complain that he's not the man she married?
- Barbra Streisand
A man wrapped up in himself makes a very small bundle.
- Benjamin Franklin
Marriages don't last. When I meet a guy,
the first question I ask myself is:
is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?
- Rita Rudner
Men always want to be a woman's first love -
women like to be a man's last romance.
- Oscar Wilde
You can lead a man to Congress,
but you can't make him think.
- Milton Berle
There are two times when a man doesn't understand a woman -
before marriage and after marriage.
- Anonymous
Barf: I'm a mog: half man, half dog. I'm my own best friend!
- the movie Spaceballs (1987)
Do not marry a man to reform him.
That is what reform schools are for.
- Mae West
Whenever I date a guy, I think,
"Is this the man I want my children
to spend their weekends with?"
- Rita Rudner
He's the kind of man a woman would have to marry to get rid of.
- Mae West
In order to be happy with a man,
you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot
and not try to understand her at all.
- Helen Rowland
Don't marry a man to reform him -
that's what reform schools are for.
- Mae West
One cannot have everything the way he would like it.
A man has no business to be depressed by a disappointment,
anyway; he ought to make up his mind to get even.
- Mark Twain
I am a man of fixed and unbending principles,
the first of which is to be flexible at all times.
- Everett Dirksen
A man likes his wife to be
just clever enough to appreciate his cleverness,
and just stupid enough to admire it.
- Israel Zangwill
A man's friendships are, like his will,
invalidated by marriage -
but they are also no less invalidated
by the marriage of his friends.
- Samuel Butler
Afraid? Me? A man who's licked
his weight in wild caterpillars?
Afraid? You bet I'm afraid!
- Groucho Marx
A man is a fool if he drinks before he reaches the age of 50,
and a fool if he doesn't afterward.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
It's not as great a day for the bride as she thinks.
She's not marrying the best man.
- Anonymous
One man's remorse is another man's reminiscence.
- Ogden Nash
Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend.
Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
- Groucho Marx
One man's theology is another man's belly laugh.
- Robert A. Heinlein
Give a man one rabbit, and he will eat for a day;
give a man two rabbits, and he will
feed his family and his neighbors
and return you 64,768 rabbits in change.
- Anonymous
No man is truly married until he understands
every word his wife is NOT saying.
- Anonymous
You never really know a man until you have divorced him.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor
A man is incomplete until he is married.
After that, he is finished.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor
Getting divorced just because you don't love a man
is almost as silly as getting married just because you do.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor
I care not much for a man's religion
whose dog and cat are not the better for it.
- Abraham Lincoln
The way for a young man to rise is
to improve himself in every way he can,
never suspecting that anybody wishes to hinder him.
- Abraham Lincoln
You know your god is man-made when he
hates all the same people you do.
- Anonymous
Give the right man two fishes and some bread,
and he will feed the world;
give the wrong man two fishes and some bread
and he will invent the fast-food fish sandwich.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Man will occasionally stumble over the truth,
but most of the time he will pick himself up and continue on.
- Winston Churchill
I know that there are people who do not love their fellow man,
and I hate people like that!
- Tom Lehrer
Mr. Attlee is a very modest man.
Indeed he has a lot to be modest about.
- Winston Churchill
A clever man commits no minor blunders.
- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
I choose my friends for their good looks,
my acquaintances for their good characters,
and my enemies for their intellects.
A man cannot be too careful in the choice of his enemies.
- Oscar Wilde
When I hear a man preach,
I like to see him act as if he were fighting bees.
- Abraham Lincoln
Every man prefers belief to the exercise of judgment.
- Lucius Annaeus Seneca
Show me a sane man, and I will cure him for you.
- Carl Jung
The man who does not read good books
has no advantage over the man who cannot read them.
- Mark Twain
Never give a sword to a man who can't dance.
- Confucius
Every man thinks God is on his side.
- Jean Anouilh
Two things a man should never be angry at:
what he can help,
and what he cannot help.
- Thomas Fuller
One man's "magic" is another man's engineering.
"Supernatural" is a null word.
- Robert A. Heinlein
A cynic is a man who, when he smells flowers,
looks around for a coffin.
- H. L. Mencken
Man is a credulous animal, and must believe something;
in the absence of good grounds for belief,
he will be satisfied with bad ones.
- Bertrand Russell
I like a man who grins when he fights.
- Winston Churchill
Too often the strong, silent man is silent only because
he does not know what to say, and is reputed strong
only because he has remained silent.
- Winston Churchill
Stay hopeless and confused. Keep polishing those skills.
- the movie When a Man Loves a Woman (1994)
Man tends to treat all of his opinions as principles.
- Herbert Sebastian Agar
Adventure is not outside man; it is within.
- George Eliot
I will far rather see the race of man extinct
than that we should become less than beasts
by making the noblest of God's creation,
woman, the object of our lust.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
Books serve to show a man
that those original thoughts of his
aren't very new at all.
- Abraham Lincoln
If you can not answer a man's argument,
all is not lost; you can still call him vile names.
- Elbert Hubbard
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.