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Funny Injury Quotes
Funny Quotes about Injury

Let these funny Injury Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

Doing an injury puts you below your enemy;
revenging one make you but even with him;
forgiving it sets you above him.
- Benjamin Franklin [attributed]

I do myself a greater injury in lying
than I do him of whom I tell a lie.
- Michel de Montaigne

Where there is injury let me sow pardon.
- St. Francis of Assisi

Anger is often more hurtful than the injury that caused it.
- English Proverb


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It does me no injury for my neighbor to say
there are twenty gods or no God.
- Thomas Jefferson

Men ought either to be indulged or utterly destroyed,
for if you merely offend them, they take vengeance,
but if you injure them greatly, they are unable to retaliate,
so that the injury done to a man
ought to be such that vengeance cannot be feared.
- Niccolo Machiavelli

One who is injured ought not to return the injury,
for on no account can it be right to do an injustice;
and it is not right to return an injury,
or to do evil to any man,
however much we have suffered from him.
- Socrates


 

Lord, make me an instrument of your peace,
Where there is hatred, let me sow love;
where there is injury, pardon;
...
For it is in giving that we receive;
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned.
- attributed to St. Francis of Assisi

The Prayer of St. Francis of Assisi
Lord, make me an instrument of your peace,
Where there is hatred, let me sow love;
where there is injury, pardon;
where there is doubt, faith;
where there is despair, hope;
where there is darkness, light;
where there is sadness, joy.
O Divine Master,
grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console;
to be understood as to understand;
to be loved as to love.
For it is in giving that we receive;
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned;
and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.
- although attributed to St. Francis of Assisi,
this prayer first appeared (written in French) in 1912

The unpredictable and irregular happenings
of life's cycles are an inherent part of their nature.
There are droughts and heat waves, injuries occur.
The lion eats the zebra -
one is nourished, one dies - neither failed.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

False facts are highly injurious to the progress of science,
for they often endure long; but false views,
if supported by some evidence, do little harm,
for every one takes a salutary pleasure in proving their falseness.
- Charles Darwin

Don't let a little dispute injure a great relationship.
- Tenzin Gyatso, the 14th Dalai Lama

We are injured and hurt emotionally,
not so much by other people
or what they say and don't say,
but by our own attitude and our own response.
- Maxwell Maltz

Forgive those who have injured you -
not because they deserve your forgiveness,
but because you can never be happy
until you release your anger and grant forgiveness.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

An injured friend is the bitterest of foes.
- Thomas Jefferson

A man is truly ethical only when he obeys
the compulsion to help all life which he is able to assist,
and shrinks from injuring anything that lives.
- Albert Schweitzer

As if you could kill time without injuring eternity.
- Henry David Thoreau

A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.
- W. C. Fields

Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits
and then complain that he's not the man she married?
- Barbra Streisand

A man wrapped up in himself makes a very small bundle.
- Benjamin Franklin

One cannot have everything the way he would like it.
A man has no business to be depressed by a disappointment,
anyway; he ought to make up his mind to get even.
- Mark Twain

Men always want to be a woman's first love -
women like to be a man's last romance.
- Oscar Wilde

One man's remorse is another man's reminiscence.
- Ogden Nash

A man is a fool if he drinks before he reaches the age of 50,
and a fool if he doesn't afterward.
- Frank Lloyd Wright

Give a man one rabbit, and he will eat for a day;
give a man two rabbits, and he will
feed his family and his neighbors
and return you 64,768 rabbits in change.
- Anonymous

One man's theology is another man's belly laugh.
- Robert A. Heinlein

In order to be happy with a man,
you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot
and not try to understand her at all.
- Helen Rowland

Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend.
Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
- Groucho Marx

A man's friendships are, like his will,
invalidated by marriage -
but they are also no less invalidated
by the marriage of his friends.
- Samuel Butler

A man is incomplete until he is married.
After that, he is finished.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor

You never really know a man until you have divorced him.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor

I care not much for a man's religion
whose dog and cat are not the better for it.
- Abraham Lincoln

Barf: I'm a mog: half man, half dog. I'm my own best friend!
- the movie Spaceballs (1987)

Afraid? Me? A man who's licked
his weight in wild caterpillars?
Afraid? You bet I'm afraid!
- Groucho Marx

No man is truly married until he understands
every word his wife is NOT saying.
- Anonymous

It's not as great a day for the bride as she thinks.
She's not marrying the best man.
- Anonymous

A man likes his wife to be
just clever enough to appreciate his cleverness,
and just stupid enough to admire it.
- Israel Zangwill

Do not marry a man to reform him.
That is what reform schools are for.
- Mae West

I am a man of fixed and unbending principles,
the first of which is to be flexible at all times.
- Everett Dirksen

Getting divorced just because you don't love a man
is almost as silly as getting married just because you do.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor

He's the kind of man a woman would have to marry to get rid of.
- Mae West

Marriages don't last. When I meet a guy,
the first question I ask myself is:
is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?
- Rita Rudner

There are two times when a man doesn't understand a woman -
before marriage and after marriage.
- Anonymous

Whenever I date a guy, I think,
"Is this the man I want my children
to spend their weekends with?"
- Rita Rudner

Don't marry a man to reform him -
that's what reform schools are for.
- Mae West

You can lead a man to Congress,
but you can't make him think.
- Milton Berle

Mr. Attlee is a very modest man.
Indeed he has a lot to be modest about.
- Winston Churchill

Never give a sword to a man who can't dance.
- Confucius

If I knew for a certainty that a man was coming to my house
with the conscious design of doing me good,
I should run for my life.
- Henry David Thoreau

If you can not answer a man's argument,
all is not lost; you can still call him vile names.
- Elbert Hubbard

If a man smiles all the time,
he's probably selling something that doesn't work.
- George Carlin

A man can't be too careful in the choice of enemies.
- Oscar Wilde

The man who does not read good books
has no advantage over the man who cannot read them.
- Mark Twain

Man will occasionally stumble over the truth,
but most of the time he will pick himself up and continue on.
- Winston Churchill

The man who reads nothing at all
is better educated than the man who reads nothing but newspapers.
- Thomas Jefferson

Too often the strong, silent man is silent only because
he does not know what to say, and is reputed strong
only because he has remained silent.
- Winston Churchill

A conservative is a man who is
too cowardly to fight and too fat to run.
- Elbert Hubbard

A cynic is a man who knows the price of everything
and the value of nothing.
- Oscar Wilde

Adventure is not outside man; it is within.
- George Eliot

It appears to be a law that you cannot have
a deep sympathy with both man and nature.
- Henry David Thoreau

A benevolent man should allow a few faults in himself,
to keep his friends in countenance.
- Benjamin Franklin

Two things a man should never be angry at:
what he can help,
and what he cannot help.
- Thomas Fuller

Show me a sane man, and I will cure him for you.
- Carl Jung

Confused Memories of Childhood:
Hate to my father, cruel hate,
confused with love - a mix not great.
The man I love - the man I hate;
the man I want to emulate.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Beauty is the bait which with delight
allures man to enlarge his kind.
- Socrates

God must love the common man, he made so many of them.
- Abraham Lincoln

I like a man who grins when he fights.
- Winston Churchill

Clothes make the man.
Naked people have little or no influence on society.
- Mark Twain

The civilized man has built a coach,
but has lost the use of his feet.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

I know that God made the whole world in 4004 BC.
I know because my preacher told me. He's a good man.
He's even saving up all the money we give him
to go to bible college someday.
- Anonymous Humor

When I hear a man preach,
I like to see him act as if he were fighting bees.
- Abraham Lincoln


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


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All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.