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Funny Infidelity Quotes
Funny Quotes about Infidelity

Let these funny Infidelity Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

I think what destroys Hollywood marriages is our work schedule,
not so much infidelity.
- Eva Longoria

Because I've been on the receiving end of infidelity,
I know how much it hurts.
- Rachel Hunter

I don't want to sell myself short.
You hurt your spouse, not so much by the infidelity,
but by the negative feelings about yourself that you bring home.
- Michael Zaslow

If you say, I love you, then you have already fallen in love with language,
which is already a form of break up and infidelity.
- Jean Baudrillard


 

He, however, who begins with Metaphysics,
will not only become confused in matters of religion,
but will fall into complete infidelity.
- Maimonides

Physical infidelity is the signal, the notice given,
that all fidelities are undermined.
- Katherine Anne Porter

It is necessary to the happiness of man that he be
mentally faithful to himself.
Infidelity does not consist in believing,
or in disbelieving, it consists in professing to believe
what he does not believe.
- Thomas Paine


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And much as Wine has played the Infidel,
And robbed me of my Robe of Honor Well,
I often wonder what the Vintners buy One half so precious as the stuff they sell.
- Edward Fitzgerald

Notwithstanding this high Ecclesiastical authority,
he who dared accept truth only because it could be proved,
or proved to be good, and disregard authority,
was commonly stigmatized as an infidel.
- Ethan A. Hitchcock

To fight against the infidels is Jihad;
but to fight against your evil self is greater Jihad.
- Abu Bakr

There are no American infidels in Baghdad.
Never!
- Mohammed Saeed al-Sahaf

You can't trample infidels when you're a tortoise.
I mean, all you could do is give them a meaningful look.
- Terry Pratchett

There is no presence of American infidels in the city of Baghdad.
- Mohammed Saeed al-Sahaf

The truth of our faith becomes a matter of ridicule
among the infidels if any Catholic,
not gifted with the necessary scientific learning,
presents as dogma what scientific scrutiny shows to be false.
- Thomas Aquinas

Their plan is to return the entire world -
not just the Middle East -
to the days of the caliphate and either convert all
of us so-called infidels into born-again Islamic believers or kill us.
- David Hackworth

God says he will never be satisfied with the infidels.
In terms of worldly affairs, America is very strong.
Even if it were twice as strong or twice that,
it could not be strong enough to defeat us.
We are confident that no one can harm us if God is with us.
- Mohammed Omar

The parents have a right to say that no teacher paid
by their money shall rob their children of faith in
God and send them back to their homes skeptical,
or infidels, or agnostics, or atheists.
- William Jennings Bryan

It's not the size of the dog in the fight,
it's the size of the fight in the dog.
- Mark Twain

Gentlemen, you can't fight in here! This is the War Room.
- the movie Dr. Strangelove (1964)

Never fight an inanimate object.
- P. J. O'Rourke

Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.
- Phyllis Diller

No matter how much cats fight,
there always seem to be plenty of kittens.
- Abraham Lincoln

Let your sympathies and your compassion
be always with the under dog in the fight -
this is magnanimity;
but bet on the other one - this is business.
- Mark Twain

A conservative is a man who is
too cowardly to fight and too fat to run.
- Elbert Hubbard

First they ignore you, then they laugh at you,
then they fight you, then you win.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Life is full of beauty. Notice it.
Notice the bumble bee, the small child,
and the smiling faces.
Smell the rain, and feel the wind.
Live your life to the fullest potential,
and fight for your dreams.
- Ashley Smith

We are free only if we face the challenge of freedom,
do the work of freedom, fight the fight of freedom
and die the death for freedom.
- Charles G. Adams

I went to a fight the other night, and a hockey game broke out.
- Rodney Dangerfield

Life is change. Without change, there is no life.
Why then do we so fight against change?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

It is horrifying that we have to fight our own government to save the environment.
- Ansel Adams

For my birthday I got a humidifier and a de-humidifier...
I put them in the same room and let them fight it out.
- Steven Wright

So long as we have enough people in this country willing
to fight for their rights,
we'll be called a democracy.
- Roger Nash Baldwin

Don't fight forces, use them.
- R. Buckminster Fuller

There are only two things we should fight for.
One is the defense of our homes and the other is the Bill of Rights.
- Smedley Butler

We have not yet begun to fight.
- John Paul Jones

When people speak to you about a preventive war,
you tell them to go fight it.
After my experience, I have come to hate war.
War settles nothing.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

Americans love to fight.
All real Americans love the sting of battle.
- George S. Patton

Older men declare war.
But it is the youth that must fight and die.
- Herbert Hoover

I don't want to fight aging; I want to take good care of myself,
but plastic surgery and all that? I'm not interested.
- Christine Lahti

I have no country to fight for; my country is the earth,
and I am a citizen of the world.
- Eugene V. Debs

As our enemies have found, we can reason like men,
so now let us show them we can fight like men also.
- Thomas Jefferson

Never go to bed angry, stay up and fight.
- William Congreve

I was only the servant of my country and had I, at any moment,
failed to express her unflinching resolve to fight and conquer,
I should at once have been rightly cast aside.
- Winston Churchill

If you don't have any fight in you, you might as well be dead.
- Scott Caan

A soldier will fight long and hard for a bit of colored ribbon.
- Napoleon Bonaparte

Fighting not good. But if must fight... win.
- Miyagi: character in the movie The Next Karate Kid

We are twice armed if we fight with faith.
- Plato

What counts is not necessarily
the size of the dog in the fight -
it's the size of the fight in the dog.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower quoting Mark Twain

We are going to have peace even if we have to fight for it.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

I am not only a pacifist but a militant pacifist.
I am willing to fight for peace.
Nothing will end war unless
the people themselves refuse to go to war.
- Albert Einstein

The person who has nothing for which he is willing to fight,
nothing which is more important than his own personal safety,
is a miserable creature and has no chance of being
free unless made and kept so by the exertions of better men than himself.
- John Stuart Mill

All endeavor calls for the ability
to tramp the last mile,
shape the last plan, endure the last hours toil.
The fight to the finish spirit is the one...
characteristic we must posses
if we are to face the future as finishers.
- Henry David Thoreau

Communists have always played an active role
in the fight by colonial countries for their freedom,
because the short-term objects of Communism
would always correspond with
the long-term objects of freedom movements.
- Nelson Mandela

We shall defend our island, whatever the cost may be,
we shall fight on the beaches, we shall fight on the landing grounds,
we shall fight in the fields and in the streets,
we shall fight in the hills; we shall never surrender.
- Winston Churchill

Even if I have to stand alone, I will not be afraid to stand alone.
I'm going to fight for you.
I'm going to fight for what's right.
I'm going to fight to hold people accountable.
- Barbara Boxer

Most of the media...
is positioning the merger with Compaq and the recent
actions by Walter Hewlett and David Packard as a fight
between the past and the future.
- Carly Fiorina

We must encourage people to get educated,
to get tested, to get involved in the fight against AIDS.
- Gwen Moore

There never is a convenient place to fight a war when the other man starts it.
- Arleigh Burke

It isn't until you begin to fight in your own cause
that you become really committed to winning and become
a genuine ally of other people struggling for their freedom.
- Robin Morgan

When I started studying for the arias it was like going
into training for a heavyweight title fight.
- Michael Bolton

Though I was not a belligerent kid, I do not think
I ever passed up a good opportunity to fight.
- Gene Tunney

I will fight hard to keep my seat in this place,
but that will depend on the people who sent me here.
- Pauline Hanson

I'm prepared to fight as hard as I can against unions
entering the University on behalf of our students.
- Ruth J. Simmons

In the fight between you and the world,
back the world.
- Franz Kafka

I feel like I'm a fighter.
I've fought my whole life to get to where I'm at.
I like fight movies.
When someone gets knocked down, I like to root for him to succeed.
- Rick Schroder

Seek that which within lies waiting to begin the fight
of your life that is everyday.
- Ian Anderson

If you can believe this, I didn't fight for my first
world title fight till I had 58 fights,
so I really appreciated what I was fighting for and for whom as well.
- Alexis Arguello

Bondage is the life of personality, and for bondage
the personal self will fight with tireless resourcefulness
and the most stubborn cunning.
- Aldous Huxley

And we need to maintain our foothold in the fight against
terrorism and terrorist groups and respond to any degradation
of Iraqi security or stability.
- Rick Larsen

American GIs don't fight this unjust immoral and illegal war of Johnson's.
- Hanoi Hannah

It's a tragedy, but with your support and your help
we will wage this fight and we're going to win it.
- Michael D. Barnes


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