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Let these funny Inefficient Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
War is an instrument entirely inefficient
toward redressing wrong;
and multiplies, instead of indemnifying losses.
- Thomas Jefferson
I wanted to see exotic Vietnam, the jewel of Southeast Asia.
I, uh, I wanted to meet interesting
and stimulating people of an ancient culture,
and kill them.
- the movie Full Metal Jacket
Gentlemen, you can't fight in here! This is the War Room.
- the movie Dr. Strangelove (1964)
I do not believe in using women in combat,
because females are too fierce.
- Margaret Mead
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The unleashed power of the atom has changed everything
save our modes of thinking
and we thus drift toward unparalleled catastrophe.
- Albert Einstein
I can make more generals, but horses cost money.
- Abraham Lincoln
The end move in politics is always to pick up a gun.
- R. Buckminster Fuller
Love is like war: easy to begin but very hard to stop.
- H. L. Mencken
Marriage is an adventure, like going to war.
- Gilbert (G. K.) Chesterton
Do not speak to me of rules.
This is war! This is not a game of cricket!
- from the movie The Bridge On The River Kwai
When we step on the battlefield, I will be
The First Boots On and the Last Boots Off.
- LtG. Hal Moore
I do not believe that civilization will be wiped out
in a war fought with the atomic bomb.
Perhaps two-thirds of the people of the earth will be killed.
- Albert Einstein
Naturally, the common people don't want war ...
but after all it is the leaders of a country who determine the policy,
and it is always a simple matter to drag the people along,
whether it is a democracy, or a fascist dictatorship,
or a parliament, or a communist dictatorship.
Voice or no voice, the people can always be brought
to the bidding of the leaders.
That is easy. All you have to do is tell them
they are being attacked,
and denounce the pacifists for lack of patriotism
and exposing the country to danger.
It works the same in every country.
- Hermann Goering
We will not learn how to live together in peace
by killing each other's children.
- Jimmy Carter
Politics is almost as exciting as war, and quite as dangerous.
In war you can only be killed once, but in politics many times.
- Winston Churchill
There is so much that must be done
in a civilized barbarism like war.
- Amelia Earhart
Into the valley of Death
Rode the six hundred.
- Alfred, Lord Tennyson
If we were meant to be happy,
why did God create war, hunger, and the 11 o'clock news?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The problems of victory are more agreeable
than those of defeat,
but they are no less difficult.
- Winston Churchill
When the war of the giants is over,
the wars of the pygmies will begin.
- Winston Churchill
You can discover what your enemy fears most
by observing the means he uses to frighten you.
- Michael Moncur
When you have to kill a man,
it costs nothing to be polite.
- Winston Churchill
When people speak to you about a preventive war,
you tell them to go fight it.
After my experience, I have come to hate war.
War settles nothing.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
When you are winning a war
almost everything that happens
can be claimed to be right and wise.
- Winston Churchill
To jaw-jaw is always better than to war-war.
- Winston Churchill
We prefer world law in the age of self-determination
to world war in the age of mass extermination.
- John F. Kennedy
We have no enemies,
we have only friendships that we haven't yet developed
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
But what a cruel thing is war
to separate and destroy families and friends.
- Robert E. Lee
When you put on a uniform,
there are certain inhibitions that you accept.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
To build may have to be the slow and laborious task of years.
To destroy can be the thoughtless act of a single day.
- Winston Churchill
Victory at all costs, victory in spite of all terror,
victory however long and hard the road may be;
for without victory, there is no survival.
- Winston Churchill
The great defense against the air menace
is to attack the enemy's aircraft
as near as possible to their point of departure.
- Winston Churchill
If men can develop weapons that are so terrifying
as to make the thought of global war
include almost a sentence for suicide,
you would think that man's intelligence and his comprehension...
would include also his ability to find a peaceful solution.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
All warfare is based on deception.
- Sun Tzu
There should be an honest attempt at the reconciliation
of differences before resorting to combat.
- Jimmy Carter
When you are in any contest,
you should work as if there were -
to the very last minute - a chance to lose it.
This is battle, this is politics, this is anything.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
The most terrible job in warfare is to be a second lieutenant
leading a platoon when you are on the battlefield.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
Battles are won by slaughter and maneuver.
The greater the general, the more he contributes in maneuver,
the less he demands in slaughter.
- Winston Churchill
If we take the generally accepted definition of bravery
as a quality which knows no fear, I have never seen a brave man.
All men are frightened. The more intelligent they are,
the more they are frightened.
- George S. Patton
What counts is not necessarily
the size of the dog in the fight -
it's the size of the fight in the dog.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower quoting Mark Twain
I have nothing to offer but blood, toil, tears and sweat.
- Winston Churchill
We may never be strong enough to be entirely
nonviolent in thought, word and deed.
But we must keep nonviolence as our goal
and make strong progress towards it.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
Never in the field of human conflict
was so much owed by so many to so few.
- Winston Churchill
Strategy without tactics is the slowest route to victory.
Tactics without strategy is the noise before defeat.
- Sun Tzu
We shall show mercy, but we shall not ask for it.
- Winston Churchill
When all you know is bombs,
everything looks like a target.
Give peace and diplomacy a chance.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
A bad peace is better than a good war.
- Yiddish Proverb
The expert in battle seeks his victory
from strategic advantage
and does not demand it from his men.
- Sun Tzu
We have not yet begun to fight.
- John Paul Jones
The power of an air force is terrific
when there is nothing to oppose it.
- Winston Churchill
What is human warfare but just this;
an effort to make the laws of God and
nature take sides with one party.
- Henry David Thoreau
I have seen enough of one war never to wish to see another.
- Thomas Jefferson
It is not enough to say we must not wage war.
It is necessary to love peace and sacrifice for it.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
Morality is contraband in war.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
War is a game that is played with a smile.
If you can't smile, grin.
If you can't grin, keep out of the way till you can.
- Winston Churchill
We shall defend our island, whatever the cost may be,
we shall fight on the beaches, we shall fight on the landing grounds,
we shall fight in the fields and in the streets,
we shall fight in the hills; we shall never surrender.
- Winston Churchill
War settles nothing.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
War will exist until that distant day
when the conscientious objector
enjoys the same reputation and prestige
that the warrior does today.
- John F. Kennedy
When I despair, I remember that all through history
the way of truth and love has always won.
There have been tyrants and murderers and
for a time they seem invincible,
but in the end, they always fall ... think of it, always.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
In war, you can only be killed once,
but in politics, many times.
- Winston Churchill
One of the greatest casualties
of the war in Vietnam is the Great Society...
shot down on the battlefield of Vietnam.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
The limitation of riots, moral questions aside,
is that they cannot win and their participants know it.
Hence, rioting is not revolutionary but reactionary
because it invites defeat.
It involves an emotional catharsis,
but it must be followed by a sense of futility.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
Love does not begin and end the way we seem to think it does.
Love is a battle, love is a war; love is a growing up.
- James A. Baldwin
Politics are very much like war.
We may even have to use poison gas at times.
- Winston Churchill
I am never going to have anything more to do
with politics or politicians.
When this war is over I shall confine myself entirely
to writing and painting.
- Winston Churchill
Strike against war, for without you
no battles can be fought!
- Helen Keller
War is a poor chisel to carve out tomorrow.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
Unconditional war can no longer lead to unconditional victory.
It can no longer serve to settle disputes...
can no longer be of concern to great powers alone.
- John F. Kennedy
Either war is obsolete, or men are.
- R. Buckminster Fuller
The Creator has not thought proper
to mark those in the forehead
who are of stuff to make good generals.
We are first, therefore, to seek them blindfold,
and then let them learn the trade
at the expense of great losses.
- Thomas Jefferson
It is my conviction that killing under the cloak of war
is nothing but an act of murder.
- Albert Einstein
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.