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Let these funny Incorrigible Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
It gives me great pleasure indeed to see the stubbornness
of an incorrigible nonconformist warmly acclaimed.
- Albert Einstein
Worry often gives a small thing a big shadow.
- Swedish Proverb 
Beauty is whatever gives joy.
- Edna St. Vincent Millay
Love does not claim possession, but gives freedom.
- Rabindranath Tagore
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Our faith gives us knowledge of something better.
- E. F. Schumacher
Experience is a hard teacher.
She gives the test first
and the lessons afterwards.
- Anonymous
Our desires always disappoint us;
for though we meet with something that gives us satisfaction,
yet it never thoroughly answers our expectation.
- Elbert Hubbard
Laughter gives us distance.
It allows us to step back from an event,
deal with it and then move on.
- Bob Newhart
Continuity gives us roots; change gives us branches,
letting us stretch and grow and reach new heights.
- Pauline R. Kezer
Every parting gives a foretaste of death,
every reunion a hint of the resurrection.
- Arthur Schopenhauer
Faithfulness in the performance of small duties
gives us strength to adhere to difficult determinations
that life will someday force us to make.
- Paramahansa Yogananda
God gives some more than others
because some accept more than others.
- Ernest Holmes
When a father gives to his son, both laugh;
when a son gives to his father, both cry.
- William Shakespeare
Existence needs you.
Without you, something will be missing
in existence and nobody can replace it.
Thats what gives you dignity,
that the whole existence will miss you.
- Osho
Laziness may appear attractive,
but work gives satisfaction.
- Anne Frank
Worrying is like a rocking chair,
it gives you something to do,
but it gets you nowhere.
- Glenn Turner
Intense love does not measure, it just gives.
- Mother Teresa
Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength;
loving someone deeply gives you courage.
- Lao Tzu
Love gives naught but itself
and takes naught but from itself.
Love possesses not
nor would it be possessed;
For love is sufficient unto love.
- Khalil Gibran
How glorious a greeting the sun gives the mountains!
- John Muir
To love someone deeply gives you strength.
Being loved by someone deeply gives you courage.
- Lao Tzu
Nothing gives one person so much advantage over another
as to remain always cool and unruffled under all circumstances.
- Thomas Jefferson
Silence gives consent.
- Plato
It is not what we get.
But who we become, what we contribute...
that gives meaning to our lives.
- Tony Robbins
In all our contacts, it is probably the sense
of being really needed and wanted
which gives us the greatest satisfaction
and creates the most lasting bond.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
The quality of mercy is not strained.
It droppeth as the gentle rain from heaven
Upon the place beneath. It is twice blest:
It blesseth him that gives and him that takes.
- William Shakespeare
Science investigates religion interprets.
Science gives man knowledge which is power
Religion gives man wisdom which is control.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
When life gives you lemons, Make Lemonade.
- Anonymous saying
Love gives naught but itself
and takes naught but from itself.
- Khalil Gibran
Science gives man knowledge, which is power;
religion gives man wisdom, which is control.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
What kills a skunk is the publicity it gives itself.
- Abraham Lincoln
Love is all, it gives all, and it takes all.
- Soren Kierkegaard
My imagination makes me human and makes me a fool;
it gives me all the world and exiles me from it.
- Ursula K. Le Guin
The wise man does not lay up his own treasures.
The more he gives to others, the more he has for his own.
- Lao Tzu
Justice that love gives is a surrender,
justice that law gives is a punishment.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
The effort to understand the universe is one
of the very few things that lifts human life
a little above the level of farce,
and gives it some of the grace of tragedy.
- Steven Weinberg
Love gives without taking
- Erica Jong
The value of a man should be seen in what he gives
and not in what he is able to receive.
- Albert Einstein
Our ordinary mind always tries to persuade us
that we are nothing but acorns
and that our greatest happiness will be
to become bigger, fatter, shinier acorns;
but that is of interest only to pigs.
Our faith gives us knowledge of something better:
that we can become oak trees.
- E. F. Schumacher
Above all the grace and the gifts
that Christ gives to his beloved
is that of overcoming self.
- St. Francis of Assisi
The way you get meaning into your life
is to devote yourself to loving others,
devote yourself to your community around you,
and devote yourself to creating something
that gives you purpose and meaning
- Mitch Albom
To state the facts frankly
is not to despair the future nor indict the past.
The prudent heir takes careful inventory of his legacies
and gives a faithful accounting
to those whom he owes an obligation of trust.
- John F. Kennedy
With Malice toward none, with charity for all,
with firmness in the right,
as God gives us to see the right,
let us strive on to finish the work we are in,
to bind up the nation's wounds.
- Abraham Lincoln
Beyond mind, there is an awareness that is intrinsic,
that is not given to you by the outside, and is not an idea -
and there is no experiment up to now
that has found any center in the brain
which corresponds to awareness.
The whole work of meditation is
to make you aware of all that is "mind"
and disidentify yourself from it.
That very separation is the
greatest revolution that can happen to man.
Now you can do and act on only that
which makes you more joyous, fulfills you,
gives you contentment, makes your life a work of art, a beauty.
But this is possible only if the master in you is awake.
- Osho
Mind can never be intelligent - only no-mind is intelligent.
Only no-mind is original and radical.
Only no-mind is revolutionary - revolution in action.
The mind gives you a sort of stupor.
Burdened by the memories of the past,
burdened by the projections of the future,
you go on living - at the minimum.
You dont live at the maximum.
Your flame remains very dim.
Once you start dropping thoughts,
the dust that you have collected in the past,
the flame arises - clean, clear, alive, young.
Your whole life becomes a flame,
and a flame without any smoke.
That is what awareness is.
- Osho
Man can never know the kind of loneliness a woman knows.
Man lies in a woman's womb only to gather strength,
he nourishes himself from this fusion,
and then he rises and goes into the world,
into his work, into battle, into art.
He is not lonely. He is busy.
The memory of the swim in amniotic fluid gives him energy, completion.
The woman may be busy too, but she feels empty.
Sensuality for her is not only a wave of pleasure
in which she has bathed,
and a charge of electric joy at contact with another.
When man lies in her womb, she is fulfilled,
each act of love a a taking of man within her,
an act of birth and rebirth, of child-bearing and man-bearing.
Man lies in her womb and is reborn each time anew
with a desire to act, to BE.
But for woman, the climax is not in the birth,
but in the moment the man rests inside of her.
- Anais Nin
The body is an instrument which
only gives off music when it is used as a body.
Always an orchestra, and just as music traverses walls,
so sensuality traverses the body and reaches up to ecstasy.
- Anais Nin
"It's not that important,
don't worry about it" is the answer,
now what was the question?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Don't worry about that chair with a hole in the middle.
It's merely waiting to be reupholstered.
- the movie Casino Royale (1966)
As a cure for worrying,
work is better than whiskey.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Oh, Shrek. Don't worry.
Things just seem bad because it's dark and rainy
and Fiona's father hired a sleazy hitman to whack you.
- the movie Shrek 2
Of all the things that could frighten you,
you worry about my driving?
- Edward, from Twilight saga by Stephenie Meyer
That's the secret to life . . .
replace one worry with another.
- Charlie Brown in Charles M. Schulz' cartoon Peanuts
It is not work that kills men; it is worry.
Worry is rust upon the blade.
- Henry Ward Beecher
Are you feeling stressed and upset?
If so, you are worrying about tomorrow.
Events that have already occurred may cause you regret,
but they only appear to cause worry.
If you just lost your job, you are not worrying about losing your job -
that already happened.
You are worrying about paying your bills and finding a new job.
Those are worries about tomorrow.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Worry never robs tomorrow of its sorrow,
it only saps today of its joy.
- Leo Buscaglia
You can't change the past,
but you can ruin the present
by worrying about the future.
- Anonymous
Life only appears complicated when one is worrying.
Relax, and life becomes simple again.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
You're only here for a short visit.
Don't hurry. Don't worry.
And be sure to smell the flowers along the way.
- Walter Hagen
Worry is the interest paid by those who borrow trouble.
- George Washington
If you look into your own heart,
and you find nothing wrong there,
what is there to worry about?
What is there to fear?
- Confucius
When you feel worried and depressed,
consciously form a smile on your face and act upbeat
until the happy feeling becomes genuine.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Today I Release All My Troubles And Grief.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Not everything that casts a long shadow is to be feared.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Anything that costs you more hours of effort or worry
than it brings you hours of enjoyment
is a candidate for downsizing.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
When I look back on all these worries,
I remember the story of the old man who said on his deathbed
that he had had a lot of trouble in his life,
most of which had never happened.
- Winston Churchill
"Worry" is a word that I don't allow myself to use.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
There is only one way to happiness and that is to cease worrying
about things which are beyond the power of our will.
- Epictetus
Rather than worrying about the continuous stream of potential threats,
let us give thanks for our blessing of living in the eye-of-the-storm -
our protected refuge from the terrors
of fearsome dangers just outside our lives.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Training yourself to live in the present -
without regretting the past or fearing the future -
is a recipe for a happy life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
It is idle to dread what you cannot avoid.
- Publilius Syrus
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.