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Funny Inconsistency Quotes
Funny Quotes about Inconsistency

Let these funny Inconsistency Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

Children are unpredictable.
You never know what inconsistency they are going to catch you in next.
- Henry Ward Beecher

Inconsistency is the only thing in which men are consistent.
- Horace Smith

There is nothing constant in this world but inconsistency.
- Jonathan Swift

Mutability of temper and inconsistency with ourselves
is the greatest weakness of human nature.
- Joseph Addison


 

More than this, even in those white men who professed
religion we found much inconsistency of conduct.
They spoke much of spiritual things,
while seeking only the material.
- Charles Eastman

A quick glance at the American left reveals a movement
in the midst of a nervous breakdown,
displaying behavior that goes beyond inconsistency
into the realm of bipolar moods and multiple personality disorders.
- Michael Medved

Like the British Constitution, she owes her success
in practice to her inconsistencies in principle.
- Thomas Hardy


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Unfortunately, the American justice system is just
riddled with lies and inconsistencies.
- Tommy Chong

The story as told in The Odyssey doesn't hold water.
There are too many inconsistencies.
- Margaret Atwood

No author ever drew a character consistent to human nature,
but he was forced to ascribe to it many inconsistencies.
- Robert Bulwer-Lytton

In writing a series of stories about the same characters,
plan the whole series in advance in some detail,
to avoid contradictions and inconsistencies.
- L. Sprague de Camp

Inconsistencies of opinion, arising from changes of circumstances,
are often justifiable.
- Daniel Webster

Inconsistencies in men are generally testimony to their immaturity.
- Edwin Louis Cole

Life is like a ten speed bicycle.
Most of us have gears we never use.
- Charles M. Schulz

Life is like jumping out of an airplane without a parachute -
only the last couple seconds are fatal,
but most people are scared to death the whole way down.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Yesterday is like a dung heap;
you can complain about the smell,
or you can use it to fertilize tomorrow's garden.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Damn it boss, I like you too much not to say it.
You've got everything except one thing: madness!
- the movie Zorba The Greek

A honeymoon should be like a table:
four bare legs and no drawers.
- Anonymous

Men always want to be a woman's first love -
women like to be a man's last romance.
- Oscar Wilde

Nothing echoes like an empty mailbox.
- Charles M. Schulz' cartoon Peanuts

If I had known what it would be like to have it all -
I might have been willing to settle for less.
- Lily Tomlin

Personally, I'm always ready to learn,
although I do not always like being taught.
- Winston Churchill

I'd like to kiss ya, but I just washed ma hair.
- the movie The Cabin in the Cotton

I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell -
you see, I have friends in both places.
- Mark Twain

I like marriage.
The idea.
- Toni Morrison

I think you're the opposite of a paranoid.
I think you go around with the insane delusion that people like you.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry

I like children - fried.
- W. C. Fields

I'm not used to feeling so human.
Is it always like this?
- Edward, from Twilight Saga by Stephenie Meyer

Love is like an hourglass,
with the heart filling up as the brain empties.
- Jules Renard

Husbands should be like Kleenex:
soft, strong, and disposable.
- the movie Clue (1985)

A two-year-old is kind of like having a blender,
but you don't have a top for it.
- Jerry Seinfeld

One cannot have everything the way he would like it.
A man has no business to be depressed by a disappointment,
anyway; he ought to make up his mind to get even.
- Mark Twain

It's cookies, he smells like cookies,
and the smell gets stronger when he's in heat.
- the movie Michael

A relationship, I think, is like a shark.
You know? It has to constantly move forward or it dies.
And I think what we got on our hands is a dead shark.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall (1977)

Marriage is like putting your hand into a bag of snakes
in the hope of pulling out an eel.
- Leonardo da Vinci

Life's like Vegas. You're up, you're down,
but in the end the house always wins.
Doesn't mean you didn't have fun.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry

Nothing takes the taste out of peanut butter
quite like unrequited love.
- Charlie Brown in Charles M. Schulz' Peanuts comic

It looks like we're up chocolate creek without a Popsicle stick!
- the movie Shrek 2 (2004)

I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.
- Fred Allen

When you are courting a nice girl
an hour seems like a second.
When you sit on a red-hot cinder
a second seems like an hour.
That's relativity.
- Albert Einstein

Love is like war: easy to begin but very hard to stop.
- H. L. Mencken

A man's friendships are, like his will,
invalidated by marriage -
but they are also no less invalidated
by the marriage of his friends.
- Samuel Butler

The feeling of friendship is like that
of being comfortably filled with roast beef;
love, like being enlivened with champagne.
- Samuel Johnson

Self confident independent thinker -
sounds like the makings of a hero.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Chanting OM is sort of like MOOing backward.
- Anonymous

True love is like ghosts,
which everyone talks about and few have seen.
- Francois de La Rochefoucauld

Being a leader is like being a lady,
if you have to go around telling people you are one, you aren't.
- Margaret Thatcher

Gods always behave like the people who make them.
- Zora Neale Hurston

Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.
- Groucho Marx

An excellent man;
he has no enemies;
and none of his friends like him.
- Oscar Wilde

Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute and it
seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour
and it seems like a minute. That's relativity.
- Albert Einstein

Bureaucrats: they are dead at 30 and buried at 60.
They are like custard pies; you can't nail them to a wall.
- Frank Lloyd Wright

Politics is like football; if you see daylight, go through the hole.
- John F. Kennedy

When life is like a slippery downhill slope,
go skiing and scream Whee... all the way down.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.
- Steve Martin

Against logic there is no armor like ignorance.
- Laurence J. Peter

You can always tell when a man's well informed.
His views are pretty much like your own.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

Advice is seldom welcome,
and those who need it the most, like it the least.
- Lord Chesterfield

I don't like to think of laws
as rules you have to follow,
but more as suggestions.
- George Carlin

A wedding is just like a funeral
except that you get to smell your own flowers.
- Grace Hansen

Guests, like fish, begin to smell after three days.
- Benjamin Franklin

Families are like fudge... mostly sweet with a few nuts.
- Anonymous

Too many people spend money they haven't earned,
to buy things they don't want,
to impress people they don't like.
- Will Rogers

His answer trickled through my head like water through a sieve.
- Lewis Carroll

Getting married is a lot like getting into a tub of hot water.
After you get used to it, it ain't so hot.
- Minnie Pearl

It's like deja-vu, all over again.
- Yogi Berra

Procrastination is like a credit card:
it's a lot of fun until you get the bill.
- Christopher Parker

When I hear a man preach,
I like to see him act as if he were fighting bees.
- Abraham Lincoln

It's so sweet, I feel like my teeth
are rotting when I listen to the radio.
- Bono

I know that there are people who do not love their fellow man,
and I hate people like that!
- Tom Lehrer

Like everyone else who makes the mistake of getting older,
I begin each day with coffee and obituaries.
- Bill Cosby


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