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Funny Include Quotes
Funny Quotes about Include

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The happiness of one's own heart alone
cannot satisfy the soul;
one must try to include,
as necessary to one's own happiness,
the happiness of others.
- Paramahansa Yogananda

If men can develop weapons that are so terrifying
as to make the thought of global war
include almost a sentence for suicide,
you would think that man's intelligence and his comprehension...
would include also his ability to find a peaceful solution.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

A young man who does not have what
it takes to perform military service
is not likely to have what
it takes to make a living.
Today's military rejects include
tomorrow's hard-core unemployed.
- John F. Kennedy

There is One Infinite Mind,
which of necessity includes all that is,
whether it be the intelligence in man,
the life in the animal,
or the invisible Presence which is God.
- Ernest Holmes


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God is all there is - God includes everything,
all possibility and all action,
for Spirit is the invisible essence and substance of all form.
- Ernest Holmes

If you doubt the virtue in self-honor,
remember what the flight attendant says,
"Put your own oxygen mask on first."
You are of no use to anyone else
if you have not taken care of your own needs first -
this includes your own emotional,
as well as physical, well-being.
In addition, your greatest value to your children,
your family, your friends, and your community
is the example you set, leading a great life that inspires
those around you to emulate your being.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Our pleasures were simple - they included survival.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower


 

Zen says that if you drop knowledge -
and within knowledge everything is included;
your name, your identity, everything,
because this has been given to you by others -
if you drop all that has been given by others,
you will have a totally different quality to your being: innocence.
This will be a crucifixion of the persona, the personality,
and there will be a resurrection of your innocence.
You will become a child again, reborn.
- Osho

It's humbling to think that all animals,
including human beings,
are parasites of the plant world.
- Isaac Asimov

It is important to expect nothing,
to take every experience,
including the negative ones,
as merely steps on the path,
and to proceed.
- Ram Dass

The glue that holds all relationships together -
including the relationship between; the leader and the led
is trust, and trust is based on integrity.
- Brian Tracy

A man who was completely innocent,
offered himself as a sacrifice for the good of others,
including his enemies,
and became the ransom of the world.
It was a perfect act.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Religion is the masterpiece of the art of animal training,
for it trains people as to how they should think.
- Arthur Schopenhauer

No one can have a higher opinion of you than I have,
and I think you're a slimy, contemptible sewer rat!
- the movie The Great Mouse Detective

What we think, we become.
All that we are arises with our thoughts.
With our thoughts, we make the world.
- The Buddha

I read that you should never go out with someone
if you can think of three reasons why you shouldn't.
- the movie Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason (2004)

A relationship, I think, is like a shark.
You know? It has to constantly move forward or it dies.
And I think what we got on our hands is a dead shark.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall (1977)

I think you're the opposite of a paranoid.
I think you go around with the insane delusion that people like you.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry

The key is, to not think of death as an end,
but as more of a very effective way to cut down on your expenses.
- the movie Love and Death

She's been diagnosed as a paranoid hypochondriac.
Doctors think she may be faking.
- the movie Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid

I personally think we developed language
because of our deep need to complain.
- Lily Tomlin

If the facts don't fit the theory,
change the facts.
- Albert Einstein

You can lead a man to Congress,
but you can't make him think.
- Milton Berle

Whenever I date a guy, I think,
"Is this the man I want my children
to spend their weekends with?"
- Rita Rudner

When all think alike, no one is thinking very much.
- Walter Lippmann

In life you are given two ends;
one to think with and the other to sit on.
Your success in life depends on which end you use most.
Heads you win, tails you lose.
- Conrad Burns

Think of how stupid the average person is,
and realize half of them are stupider than that.
- George Carlin

If you can't annoy somebody with what you write,
I think there's little point in writing.
- Kingsley Amis

If it turns out that there IS a God,
I don't think that he's evil.
I think that the worst you can say about him
is that basically he's an underachiever.
- the movie Love and Death

I don't like to think of laws
as rules you have to follow,
but more as suggestions.
- George Carlin

Really I feel less keen about the Army every day.
I think the Church would suit me better.
- Winston Churchill

You can always do one thing less than you think you can.
- Anonymous

Did you ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)

The objection to Puritans is not that
they try to make us think as they do,
but that they try to make us do as they think.
- H. L. Mencken

I think it's the duty of the comedian to find out
where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately.
- George Carlin

Jealousy is all the fun you think they had.
- Erica Jong

I think men who have a pierced ear
are better prepared for marriage.
They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.
- Rita Rudner

Anyone who thinks sitting in church
can make you a Christian must also think
that sitting in a garage can make you a car.
- Garrison Keillor

The third certainty of life, after death and taxes,
is that nothing will work out the way you want.
Life is fully as bad as you think it is.
Choose to live joyfully anyway.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

For those who do not think,
it is best at least to rearrange
their prejudices once in a while.
- Luther Burbank

Always speak the truth,
think before you speak,
and write it down afterwards.
- Lewis Carroll

I don't think the intelligence reports are all that hot.
Some days I get more out of the New York Times.
- John F. Kennedy

People who think they know everything
are a great annoyance to those of us who do.
- Isaac Asimov

What do I think of Western civilization?
I think it would be a very good idea.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

I think that there is nothing, not even crime,
more opposed to poetry, to philosophy, ay, to life itself
than this incessant business.
- Henry David Thoreau

Human beings are the only creatures on the planet
who tell time and think they have to earn a living.
- Buckminster Fuller

The function of education is to teach one
to think intensively and to think critically.
Intelligence plus character - that is the goal of true education.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

The most pathetic person in the world
is someone who has sight, but has no vision.
- Helen Keller

I used to go away for weeks in a state of confusion.
- Albert Einstein

Life does not consist mainly,
or even largely, of facts or happenings.
It consist mainly of the storm of thoughts
that is forever flowing through one's head.
- Mark Twain

You know that place between sleeping and awake,
that place where you can still remember dreaming?
That's where I'll always think of you.
- James M. Barrie

I don't think of all the misery
but of the beauty that still remains.
- Anne Frank

The important thing is not to stop questioning.
Curiosity has its own reason for existing.
- Albert Einstein

Our society is run by insane people for insane objectives.
I think we're being run by maniacs for maniacal ends
and I think I'm liable to be put away as insane for expressing that.
That's what's insane about it.
- John Lennon

People should think things out fresh
and not just accept conventional terms
and the conventional way of doing things.
- R. Buckminster Fuller

No written law has ever been more binding
than unwritten custom supported by popular opinion.
- Carrie Chapman Catt

Think big thoughts but relish small pleasures.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

To know yet to think that one does not know is best;
Not to know yet to think that one knows
will lead to difficulty.
- Lao Tzu

Life is as easy or as hard as you think it is.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

It isn't what you have, or who you are, or where you are,
or what you are doing that makes you happy or unhappy.
It is what you think about.
- Dale Carnegie

Anyone who knows history, particularly
the history of Europe, will, I think,
recognize that the domination
of education or of government
by any one particular religious faith
is never a happy arrangement for the people.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

Tolerance is the first principle of community;
it is the spirit which conserves
the best that all men think.
- Helen Keller

We should not pretend to understand the world
only by the intellect.
The judgment of the intellect
is only part of the truth.
- Carl Jung

Neither a man nor a crowd nor a nation
can be trusted to act humanely
or to think sanely under the influence of a great fear.
- Bertrand Russell

People hardly ever make use of the freedom which they have,
for example, freedom of thought;
instead they demand freedom of speech as a compensation.
- Soren Kierkegaard

Who made the rule that life has to be so serious?
One would think that "life is serious" had been engraved
upon stone tablets to judge from how most lives are lived.
Get a life, smile broadly, sing loudly,
paint your rooms in bold colors,
search every rabbit hole for a magical white bunny,
have caviar for breakfast and oatmeal for dinner,
wear a purple coat with a red hat - dance lightly with life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

You must do the thing that you think you cannot do.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

If a problem cannot be solved, enlarge it.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

We must dare to think "unthinkable" thoughts.
- J. W. Fulbright

I never think of the future - it comes soon enough.
- Albert Einstein

We shall require a substantially
new manner of thinking
if mankind is to survive.
- Albert Einstein


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


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